


Burning Cities and Napalm Skies

by Amethyzt



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Multi, New planet exploration fic, Pregnancy, repopulation of the human race, somewhat of a slowburn?, the 100 S6 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-08-29 08:02:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 107,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16740184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethyzt/pseuds/Amethyzt
Summary: “Kane’s right,” Clarke says, and everyone’s eyes turned to her. “Ensuring the human race lives on, after all we’ve been through, needs to be a main concern of this council.” She raises a hand up as Gaia’s mouth opens to disagree. “One of the main concerns,” Clarke amends, “which I believe has a simple solution.”Raven could almost see the gears churning in Clarke’s mind. The blonde took a couple seconds, obviously mulling over what she was about to suggest to them. She’s not sure why, but flashes of Mount Weather flood Raven’s mind, and she shakes those thoughts out of her head.  “What are you thinking, Clarke?” Raven asks.Clarke sucks in a breath and steels herself before speaking. “What if we…led by example?”





	1. A New Dawn

Raven was never one to watch the sunset on Earth, but over the past month, she has found she cannot tear her eyes away from these.

As the two suns set, the sky over their new home planet shines an almost iridescent lilac, with deep hues of violet and slivers of magenta peeking through. The planet’s four moons form a semi-circle overhead, each roughly about the same size. Dusk here paints everything a shade of rose and Raven wonders if she’ll ever stop marveling at it.

During the day, the sky is still blue, though she notes it is a much purer shade. In the time they’ve been here, they haven’t had an overcast grey day. It rained once, but the sky returned to its former glory after the clouds rolled away.

The air smells cleaner too—earthy and crisp. It’s unmarred by the perils of humanity, virgin and innocent with its lush green forests and crystal clear rivers.

And there is life. Thankfully, not the humanoid kind, as they haven’t encountered others nor have they been attacked and thrown into another war for territory as was initially feared. The life in this new planet is the truly good kind.

It’s filled with plants and animals that Raven can only describe as otherworldly. They’ve discovered flowers that glow blue in the dark and curl when touched, orange shrubs with delicious tamarind-like fruits. The fauna is similar to that on Earth, but new all the same. Yesterday, she spotted a green bird with a massive wingspan—she’d guess around six-feet. It had a beak like a toucan, except it was completely sheer so as you could see all of its mouth organs.

She wishes Monty could have been alive to see it.

Waking up and being told he and Harper had died had felt like someone stabbed her in the heart. Another two of her family members were gone, and once again, she hadn’t been able to say goodbye.

Jordan’s presence eased that pain a little. She knew who he was before he had even introduced himself. He was the spitting image of his parents combined.

As the sky begins to darken, Raven heaves herself off the rock she was sitting on. This was her spot— a small rock outcropping on the edge of a shallow hill. They weren’t sure how to mark time yet in this new planet, nor how long each day was. Raven estimates they hover around 25 or 26 hours.

But that was a thought for another time. She had a weekly council meeting to attend.

Thirteen individuals sat on the governing body: Clarke, Bellamy, Abby, Kane, Diyoza, Indra, Gaia, Octavia, Echo, Murphy, Emori, Jordan, and her. Thirteen for the stations that first comprised the Ark.

They were all starting to file inside as Raven arrives at the large tent that is serving as their council chambers. She takes a seat in between Emori and Jordan, who still seems nervous about being part of the council. Once everyone finds a seat at the long conference table, Clarke clears her throat.

Then, the council gets to work. The topic of permanent housing occupies them for about an hour. Their people are all living in tents in their camp, thanks to a surplus of provisions from Eligius. Most of their supplies are now on the ground, but the large transport ship remains just out of their new planet’s atmosphere should they need it.

But tents are just a temporary solution. It’s not an ideal situation when they want people to feel at home. Constructing cabins is one of their top priorities, especially since they don’t know what temperatures lay ahead of them nor what seasons this planet experiences.

Infrastructure needs are high up on their list too—the common areas in camp are being powered through solar panels, but they don’t have running water yet. Sewage and wastewater are another issue they need to address.

But several council members share concerns about building too fast and impacting the environment in this new planet they have yet to fully understand, and that leads to a discussion on who should be among the first to move into permanent housing, and how to stagger it.

“Diyoza should be the first to get a cabin,” Kane says. “We should prioritize families.”

“I can agree to that, though we don’t have many families left,” Gaia says. “Diyoza’s baby will likely be the last born for a few more years until people feel safe again.”

“Then I suggest we refocus our efforts in encouraging the growth of the human race,” Kane says. “People will start feeling safe once they have a roof over their heads, and they’ll start having children.”

“A roof doesn’t make a home,” Gaia says, her eyes narrowing.

“Kane’s right,” Clarke says, and everyone’s eyes turned to her. “Ensuring the human race lives on, after all we’ve been through, needs to be a main concern of this council.” She raises a hand up as Gaia’s mouth opens to disagree. “ _One_ of the main concerns,” Clarke amends, “which I believe has a simple solution.”

Raven could almost see the gears churning in Clarke’s mind. The blonde took a couple seconds, obviously mulling over what she was about to suggest to them. She’s not sure why, but flashes of Mount Weather flood Raven’s mind, but she shakes those thoughts out of her head.  “What are you thinking, Clarke?” Raven asks.

Clarke sucks in a breath and steels herself before speaking. “What if we…led by example?”

The council fell silent, save for Echo who spoke up immediately. “What are you implying?”

“If they see us having children, they’re likely to follow suit,” Clarke says. She looks around, noting the council’s unsure expressions. “Actions speak louder than words. If we show them we are willing to put ourselves on the line of fire—and metaphorically speaking our future children—they _will_ feel safer. No one will be forced to conceive, of course,” she clarifies. “This will be strictly voluntary. With Diyoza already pregnant, I don’t think it would take more than a couple of us to set an example.”

“Those who conceive, get placed higher on the list for cabins,” Abby says.

Octavia snorts, and it’s obvious Clarke has not convinced her. “You say we won’t be forced, but I didn’t hear anything in your little speech about you putting your womb on the table,” she says. “Figuratively, of course,” she adds, raising her hands in the air.

“If we decide this is a decision we want to make as a council, I will volunteer,” Clarke says. “I said at our first meeting that I will be doing everything I can for our people. I pledged myself, same as you.”

Animosity has not died down within the pair, and Raven wonders if it ever will.

Octavia’s eyes don’t waver from Clarke’s, and the women stare each other down coolly. “Something tells me that if you decide to have a child, I may gain another title,” Octavia deadpans. “Bloodreina, sister… _Aunt_ ,” she says, tearing her gaze away from Clarke and focusing on her brother.

“Enough,” Kane says. He doesn’t raise his voice, but his tone leaves little room for argument. He rubs his temples. “I think we’ve had enough discussion for one day. Clarke has given us something for all of us to think about. You women, especially,” he says, his eyes kind as they flit from each of the female council members. “Let’s adjourn and sleep on this before we make any decisions.”

No one needs to be told twice. Raven for one, is glad the meeting is over.

She’s on her way out when she feels someone grab her elbow. Clarke gestures for her to stay behind and Raven sighs. Emori must have heard her because she looks over her shoulder. Her eyebrows furrow and Raven shrugs. She has an idea of why Clarke may have pulled her aside, but she hopes she’s wrong.

“I know I have no right to ask you for anything,” she says, and Raven hums sharply in agreement. “But you know that if you commit yourself to the cause, the rest of the council will follow.”

So she wasn’t wrong. A sarcastic smile spreads across her face, disbelief running palpably through her veins. “You said this was voluntary.”

“And it is,” Clarke insists. “I’m just asking you to consider.”

“You’re asking me to bring a child into a world we know virtually nothing about,” Raven says firmly.

“I know what I’m asking,” Clarke says. “But we need to be the pioneers here. We have the obligation to carve the way for our people. _This_ is one way we do that.”

As ridiculous as it was, Raven knows she is right. Their people are scared. Seeing their leaders accept this new world and create lives here—that would move mountains in terms of accepting this planet as their home now.

The words left her mouth before she could take a step back. “I’ll think about it,” Raven says.

“That’s all I ask.”

Raven leaves the tent with a raging headache. Her brain has already started computing a list of pros and cons in her way of mulling things over. The uncertainty of this planet is high on the cons list, and that doesn’t surprise her.

What does catch her off-guard is that the first pro that pops into her head is the desire to be a mother. She has suppressed the thought since Finn died, as that had never appeared to be an option after that. In many ways, parts of her died when Finn did, and she thought that had been one of them.

Clarke asking her to consider having a baby for the good of their people seems to have restored it.

She exits the council chambers and heads toward her tent. She was one of the first to move out of the ship. Raven had already spent too many years cooped up in inside, and nothing sounded better to her than sleeping out in the elements.

She spots Emori leaning against a tree, waiting for her.

“What did she want?” she asks, getting straight to the point.

“She wants me to think about it,” Raven replies, knowing Emori knows exactly what “it” is.

“And are you?” Emori presses. “Going to think about it?”

Raven turns to her. “Are you?”

Emori shakes her head no. “I don’t want to be a mother,” she says. “Not now, not in a decade, not ever.” Sighing she looks down at her gloved hand. “My genes should die with me.”

“Emori that—”

“Is my decision,” she interrupts.

“Of course,” Raven agrees, and she drops it. Though Emori didn’t like to talk about her deformity, she had always made the point that it didn’t define her. Hearing her say she wouldn’t have kids because of it hurts Raven. In the past six years (or 131 but who’s counting) Emori has really become like a sister. But while she disagreed with her reasoning, she also knew it wasn’t her place to change her mind.

They walk in silence to her tent. Raven focuses on each crunch of leaves underfoot.

“If you decide to go ahead with this, you have my full support,” Emori says once they arrive at Raven’s tent. “I will be the best damn aunt that baby will have.”

Raven smiles. “That I don’t doubt.”

Emori squeezes her arm. “Are you going to talk to Shaw about this?”

“I’m not sure,” Raven says with a shrug. “I don’t know where we stand.”

Since they woke up from cryo, things have certainly been…different with him. When on Earth those last days, it felt like she had been doing everything to run away from feeling something for him. Now, on this unknown planet, it feels like she’s forcing herself to have feelings for him just for the sake of having something in her life that’s semi-familiar.

In the past month they’ve spent together, she has realized she knows nothing about him. It makes her uncomfortable to the point they haven’t even had sex, despite him voicing various times he wanted to take their relationship to the next level. There’s just something holding her back and Raven still hasn’t pinpointed what it is.

Their argument a couple days ago probably doesn’t help the cause. She finally told him, albeit reluctantly, that Murphy was the one who shot her, and Shaw hadn’t reacted well. Raven avoided eye contact with Murphy during the council meeting if only to not have to look at the blooming bruise in his left cheekbone.

“Shaw’s an ass,” Emori says. “I don’t like him.”

Raven sighs. “I don’t expect you to,” she says. “He did punch Murphy pretty hard.”

“Well, John probably had it coming,” Emori says. “Though not for that. It wasn’t his place.”

Raven nods in agreement. She has long forgiven Murphy. No one, and that includes Shaw, should ever question her on that.

 

* * *

 

That night, Raven can’t find sleep. She tosses that way, and turns this way, but no position is comfortable enough to lull her to sleep despite the fact she’s exhausted. She had gone to bed relatively early with the excuse to get extra rest, but now, it seems like she won’t even sleep the regular amount of hours.

And maybe she had escaped into her tent to avoid seeing Shaw that night, but she’s not going to address that right now.

She heaves herself from the cocoon of blankets on the floor of her tent and starts getting dressed. Once she buckles herself into her brace, she heads outside. A walk will do her some good, she thinks. Maybe it’ll help tire her out enough to fall asleep.

The camp they’ve set up is spread out over a large field. Raven built up her tent in the outskirts, nestled in the woods. Most of the others have chosen to stick closer to the center of camp, but she has really valued the peace in solitude.

Because she doesn’t want to run into anyone, Raven sticks to the outer edges of camp in the woods. It’s very dark outside, but the glow of the moons cast just enough light to see where she is going. As she approaches the nearby river, she hears intermittent splashing sounds, catching her attention.

She cautiously looks over her shoulder, a bad habit she has yet to break, and heads toward the sound.

When she is within sight of the river, she sees a human form illuminated by the water’s fluorescent blue glow. The water itself doesn’t radiate light—but the plants in the sand bank do.

The person looks back as they hear her footfalls, and despite the darkness, she knows exactly who it is.

“A bit late for you to be wandering on your own, isn’t it?” Murphy asks. He bends down to pick up one of the pebbles by the water, throwing it in a way it skips over the surface of the water various times before it sinks.

“Since when do you tell me what to do?” Raven retorts with a raised eyebrow. She sidles up beside him and bumps his hip playfully.

Murphy tries to maintain a stony expression, but she sees the faintest smile creep on his lips.

“Well, since you’re here,” he says. “You might as well look at this.” He picks up another flat pebble and holds it up so she can see it. “Watch where it hits the water.”

With a flick of his wrist, he tosses the rock into the river and Raven sees shimmering green lights appear on the water in the spots it grazes. Curious, Raven bends down to take a closer look. Tentatively, she sticks her hand in the water and swishes it around. The same green lights crowd around her hand.

“Bioluminescent organisms,” she says in fascination. “I’ve read about these, but they disappeared from Earth long before we came back.”

Murphy crouches down next to her and places his own hand in the water. Raven stares in awe as the glittering microorganisms gather around his spread fingers.

“Harmless?” Murphy asks.

“You still have your hand, right?”

Murphy grins in earnest now, and with the glow of the water, she can see the darkening discoloration of the bruise Shaw left behind. Raven reaches up and traces it with her hand.

Murphy winces. “Jesus, your hands are cold Reyes.” He doesn’t pull away though.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “He had no right.”

“He’s your boyfriend, Raven,” Murphy sighs. “He has every right.”

A major part of her wants to explain to him that Shaw is actually not her boyfriend, but it’s really not that important. So she sighs instead and places her hand back in her lap. Crouching has become uncomfortable for her and she decides to sit down properly instead.

They sit there together for a few more minutes, silently marveling at the glow of the water and ignoring the weight of the unspoken words between them. There is so much she wants to tell him—she wants to thank him for trying to make a deal with Diyoza to get her back, she wants to ask him how his gunshot wounds have healed, she wants to tell him that the uncertainty of this planet terrifies her…

She wants to tell him that she thinks she’s going to volunteer to have a baby.

But she can’t get the words out. Instead, she stretches her leg over his lap and begins to unbuckle her brace.

Murphy looks at her like she’s mad. “What are you doing?”

“I want to go for a swim,” she says. “Are you going to join me or are you too scared?”

He never backs down from a challenge, especially not one by Raven. She strips off her outer clothing, leaving her in her underwear, and hanging on to Murphy for balance. He’s down to his shorts too, and without overthinking it, they jump in tandem into the cool river.

It’s highly irresponsible and reckless, but damn if it doesn’t make her feel alive again.

She comes back up to the surface for air, smoothing down her hair, which is still tied up in a ponytail. Murphy shakes the glowing droplets out of his face when he resurfaces, but he doesn’t have much time to regain his bearings because Raven aims a huge splash of water right at him.

“That’s how you want to play it?” He says. “Let me remind you that the last time we played a game, _you lost_.” He uses his forearm to send a huge wave of water her way, and Raven turns her back to protect her face.

“Yes, but that was 125 years ago. And now that we’ve both been shot, this is an even match,” Raven says, causing Murphy to bark out a laugh.

The water lights up like a thousand pinpricks of stars as they swim haphazard circles around each other. Swimming is definitely something they’re still learning to do, but at least now they can keep themselves afloat. Their mock-water fight doesn’t last long, and it’s not very effective, as neither of them can take it seriously. At one point, Murphy dives underwater and grabs at her legs, hoisting her up on his shoulder and declaring himself the winner before promptly sinking, his celebration turning into warped gurgles.

Then, Raven is momentarily distracted by a flood of seemingly pure white light heading steadily their way underwater. She pulls Murphy back up and their eyes fixate on the school of fish that begin to surround them. They’re soon enveloped between angelic flashes of white, and Raven has never seen anything more beautiful.

For one of the first times, in probably all his life, Murphy is also rendered speechless.

She’s not sure why she does it, but she places her hands up by Murphy’s heart. His hands wind against the small of her back, and together they watch the fish go by. She looks up and sees the reflection of the water’s glow in Murphy’s crystal eyes.

Even amidst all the unknowns that lay ahead, Raven feels at ease.


	2. Family Ties

A week goes by and time only serves to solidify her decision. She’s going to do this. Raven has no idea how, or _with who_ , but she’s doing this.

She’s going to try to have a baby.

And the keyword is “try” because Abby called a council meeting a couple days before to inform them all there was a high chance of infertility among their people. The majority of the female survivors of the Ark still had their implants, and Abby is worried that they may have malfunctioned.

Harper’s obviously failed—unless she removed it herself. But regardless, she was able to give birth to Jordan. That gives them hope.

Their implants should have been replaced every 10 years. Some of them have had them in their bodies for over twelve times that.

Most of Diyoza’s crew are male criminals, and still recovering from their disease.

The remainder of _Wonkru’s_ level of fertility is dubious at best, at least for the moment, since a lot of them are malnourished after their years in the bunker.

It was looking like growing the human race was presenting more challenges, and Clarke’s idea suddenly seemed less ludicrous.

She puts that thought away for now, as she is currently wrapping up a report of her findings on a strange new plant the latest recon mission brought back. It’s a pretty yellow fern with small red flowers. Her job is to find out if it has any medicinal uses, or if the flowers are somehow poisonous.

Though she desperately wishes Monty was here, she can’t deny that Jordan has been a tremendous help. He definitely inherited his green thumb and plant-driven curiosity from his father.

“She’s pretty, but she’s a dud,” Raven says, closing out her screen on her computer.

Jordan smiles and picks up the potted plant. “Don’t offend her,” he says.

She laughs softly and stands up from her desk. “Ready to head to the meeting?” she asks, and Jordan shrugs. “What?” she adds, noticing the look of displeasure on his face.

“It’s just,” he says, scratching at his hair. “I shouldn’t even be on the council. I don’t know how to help. Just a month ago, I had only met two actual humans in my entire life.”

Raven furrows her brows and walks over to him. “Hey, stop that.” She shakes her head at him in disbelief. “Jordan, you are valuable to us. You bring in a new perspective—that’s what the council is all about.”

“But there are others better suited to do that,” he insists. “Madi should be on the council, not me.”

Raven sighs. “Madi _chose_ to not be a part of the council. She wants to wait until Gaia finishes training her.”

“But—”

“But nothing,” Raven says, feeling very much like his aunt in that moment. “You are so special, Jordan,” she reaches up to cradle his chin. “And your parents would be so proud to see you working to build a better world. That’s all they ever wanted.”

Jordan nods, and a grateful small smile appears on his lips. It’s such a Harper-like expression that Raven feels tears well in her eyes. Harper has been dead for a long time, but to her, it still feels like just yesterday they were chatting idly before going into cryo. She blinks her tears away and is about to say more when they’re interrupted by the harsh sound of the tech tent being zipped open.

Shaw stands on the other side, and Raven immediately feels a knot grow in her stomach.

Jordan excuses himself and leaves the tent, taking notice of the tension between them and deciding to leave them alone. Raven and Shaw haven’t really spoken since the Murphy incident, and she can tell he’s finally had enough of her ignoring him.

“I’m not going to apologize,” he says. Raven scoffs and tries to move past him, but he blocks the exit with his hand. “Can you stop trying to avoid this conversation?”

Raven crosses her arms. “What do you want me to say? Thank you for defending my honor?” She shakes her head at him. “You overstepped.”

“I don’t understand why you defend him,” he spits out. “He _maimed_ you and you act like there’s no one in the world you’d rather spend time with.”

Raven falls silent and rubs at her temples. “I can’t do this right now,” she whispers.

She pushes past him and this time, he lets her go. But not before he gets the last word.

“Sure,” he says. “Just keep running away from anything that’s real. I hear that’s the way to happiness.”

Raven falters in her steps, but she bites her lip and keeps going. She won’t give him the pleasure of seeing her hurt.

By the time she takes her seat on the council, her resolve to have a baby is starting to waver. She’s even less sure she wants to get further involved with Shaw, and having a baby with him would tie him to her for the rest of her life.

They discuss official business first—findings of recon missions, their food and medicine inventory and the beginning steps of cabin constructions. They’re still figuring out what trees would be the best option in regards to insulation, wear, and the impact to the forests. It seems everyone is finally on the same page about the direction they are heading, and that feels good.

Strategizing to build a livable community is a lot more pleasant that strategizing for war.

Raven’s nerves are through the roof by the time they’re ready to discuss the fertility issue—they’re labeling it as such after their meeting with Abby. Because even if they decided against “leading by example” as Clarke is calling it, low birth rates could ultimately be the cause the human race finally dies out. And that’s an issue.

After all they have done to survive, this can’t be their fate.

“I assume we’ve all given this a lot of thought,” Kane says. “I think we should encourage everyone, not just the council, to start conceiving. If infertility is truly our biggest threat, we need to know how many of our people can bear children.”

“On the Ark, we murdered people who broke the one-child law,” Octavia comments. “Funny how things change.” She takes a deep breath. “But if this is how we survive, I’d say it’s a hell of lot easier than other decisions we’ve made.”

Raven locks eyes with Clarke. She looks hopeful, and Raven nods once. They’re doing this.

“Shall we do a voice vote?” Gaia asks and the council agrees.

It’s unanimous.

No more questions are asked, but the significance of their vote is clear. Raven approaches Clarke after the meeting and tells her she’s willing to try to conceive. Clarke immediately embraces her.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “I didn’t want to do this alone.”

Raven sees Bellamy standing back in the room. “I don’t think you ever would have had to,” Raven replies.

She’s not sure what that means for Echo and Bellamy, and she makes a mental note to find her friend later. Whatever happens, there’s bound to be collateral damage. Echo doesn’t deserve to get hurt, and Raven knows Bellamy loves her, but she is also aware that Bellamy has never stopped caring for Clarke.

As to how deep his affection runs, she’s not sure.

Emori approaches her after dinner that night. She motions for her to follow her and they end up inside her tent.

“I heard your argument with Shaw today,” she says, surprising Raven. “I wasn’t eavesdropping,” she clarifies. “I was coming by to see if you wanted to walk to the council meeting together, and…”

“And?”

“I don’t like the way he talks to you,” Emori says. “And I just wanted you to know that you have options should you choose to try for a child.”

Raven sighs. “I don’t know that I do.”

“You do,” Emori insists, and they sit down on the ground besides Emori’s makeshift bed. She takes Ravens hands in hers. “He’s right in front of you.”

_Bellamy_. It clicks in her mind that she’s talking about Bellamy.

“Like I’m going to get involved in _that_ mess,” she says.

Emori’s facial expression morphs into one of confusion. “What? What are you talking about?” Then she rolls her eyes, exasperated. “No, not Bellamy, Raven. I was talking about John.”

At first, she’s not sure she heard her correctly. Her brain takes a solid moment to compute what Emori just told her, and even then, she can’t make sense of it. Murphy? The thought had never popped in her head. As far as she was concerned, Murphy was off-limits and always would be.

“What?” Raven says at last. “You want me to have sex with your ex-boyfriend?”

“I know it sounds strange, especially when you put it like that,” Emori says. “But think about it.”

“I’m not sure that I want to,” Raven says, a little bewildered. This was not how she imagined this conversation going. She shakes her head. There’s no way she could do this to her friend. “Emori… He _loves_ you.”

Her friend takes a deep breath and exhales slowly through her mouth. When she turns to Raven again, there are tears in her eyes. “Yes, and I love him too,” she says. “There’s always going to be a part of me that cares deeply for him. But I’m not _in love_ with him anymore—and I don’t think he’s in love with me.”

“Emori, I can’t—”

“No,” she affirms. “It’s over between us. It’s been over since the Ring.”

Those last couple of years in space had been hard for all of them. They hadn’t figured out a way to return to the ground, and while Emori dealt with the stress by throwing herself into work, Murphy had isolated himself. When he deigned to show his face, he purposely made everyone miserable. In the end, he had banished himself to the other side of the Ring—an idiotic thing for him to do, but one that didn’t surprise Raven. And she understood him. Sometimes, she just wanted to be left alone too.

But it had carved a distance between him and Emori, and from her words just now, it seems to be irreparable.

“If you are going to bring a new life into this world, it needs to be with someone you trust,” Emori says, bringing Raven out of her thoughts. “Someone who’s going to be there for you through the good and the bad, and we both know Murphy has proved himself to you in that way.” Emori’s lips turn up in a smirk. “Plus, I think he’s always had a crush on you.”

“Stop,” Raven says, rolling her eyes. That was ridiculous.

“Just think about it,” Emori says. “All you have to do is ask him.”

 

* * *

 

Raven does think about it—she can’t help it.

When she left Emori’s tent a couple days ago, the whole notion of asking Murphy to father her child was beyond absurd. She told herself she wouldn’t even entertain it as an option. No matter what Emori said, they had to draw a line somewhere. She couldn’t just jump into bed with her friend’s ex. It wasn’t her.

But the idea lingered in the back of her head like a bad song lyric, bubbling up to the surface at the most inopportune times. Like when Murphy strode into camp yesterday, shirtless and muddy after he fell in a shallow pond by accident during a recon mission.

He had these weird little leaves in his hair and a couple of scratches on his arms, and Raven couldn’t help but notice how the muscles in his arms flexed when he dropped off a new plant at the lab for her. This new planet has definitely been kind to him. His once pale skin even showed just a hint of a tan.

The thought that Murphy has always looked the most attractive when he was dirty and cut up left her blushing as he left the lab.

If she is being honest with herself, the more she thinks about it, the less crazy it seems.

Murphy is already like family to her. She can’t imagine her life without him, can’t imagine a future where they’re not friends. Maybe this isn’t exactly how she envisioned having him in her life, but should he agree, it wouldn’t be the worst decision she’s ever made.

Raven knows if they do this, Murphy will stick around. He won’t be an absent father, and that’s important to her.

She hasn’t fully ruled out Shaw yet, but Murphy is seeming like a better choice with each passing hour. Her relationship with Shaw is volatile, and having his child won’t fix that. It could make things worse. If they can’t agree on things now, she doubts they’ll magically get along by adding a baby to the equation.

So today, when Murphy gets back in the early afternoon from yet another recon mission, she’s waiting for him in his tent.

He jolts when he sees her, cursing under his breath. “I see we’ve forgotten boundaries,” he says drily. He stretches his neck, rubbing at its base like it’s bothering him. “What’s with the house call?”

Usually, she would have a rapid-fire witty response to give him, but she’s nervous. It’s all she can do to stand still. “I wanted to ask you something,” she says.

He waives a hand at her, signaling to just get on with it as he drops his backpack in one of the corners of the tent.

Her mouth feels really dry, and she swallows, trying to find her resolve. “How do you feel about the baby issue?” she asks.

That appears to catch him by surprise. “I voted for it, didn’t I?” he says.

“Yes but,” she inches closer to him. “How do _you_ feel about it?”

Murphy’s eyes twinkle with amusement. “Why the interrogation, Reyes?” He starts to close the distance between them by taking slow, laborious steps, but Raven holds her ground. He tilts his chin, like he’s testing her. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were skirting around asking me what you really came here for.”

Raven raises an eyebrow. He knows, and being John Murphy, he’s going to be a little cocky about it. “Emori already talked to you,” she says.

He shrugs his shoulders lightly. “So are you gonna ask? Or are you waiting for me to spell it out for you?” At her lack of a response, he releases a long sigh. “To be honest, I didn’t think you would, but I guess it’s not all rainbows and sunshine between you and the pilot. I could never tell,” he elaborates. “You guys seem to have that thing where you could kill or kiss each other at any second. Although,” he says, stepping closer to her. Now only a whisper away from her, she can feel the warmth of his skin radiating onto her. “I guess people could say the same thing about us.”

“No one says that,” she says, rolling her eyes, and he laughs in response.

Raven looks up at him, and bites her lip. “So…” she begins, but her lips won’t form the words. She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “This is too much, Murphy. I can’t ask you this.”

She starts to turn away from him when she feels his fingers brush the inside of her wrist. When she looks back at him, his face is serious. All traces of his teasing are gone. He’s only looked at her like this twice before—when he apologized for shooting her and when he offered to pull the plug on Diyoza’s crew for her on Eligius.

It makes her pause.

“Ask me,” he says, his tone almost pleading. “ _Ask me.”_

She swallows and nods. She takes a deep breath. “Will you help me?”

He shakes his head and a flood of humiliation rains over her. She can feel the skin on her face grow hot as she blushes. _Damn him._

“Not good enough,” he says as she starts to move away from him. He grabs her forearm to get her to stay put. “Ask me to be your baby daddy,” he deadpans. The corners of his lips twitch like he’s trying to contain his laughter. Typical Murphy.

“You’re an asshole,” she says, and she knows they’re already in this together. If they do manage to get pregnant, their kid is going to be the worst smartass in camp. “Will you knock me up?” she says instead, because there is no way in hell the words “baby daddy” are ever going to leave her lips.

Murphy acts like he’s thinking it over, scrunching his face. “That’ll do,” he relents, and pulls her to him. “In case you were wondering, that’s a yes—to both questions,” he whispers in her ear, and her arms wind themselves around him.

It should feel awkward, having him so close, especially after the conversation they just had, but it doesn’t. Strangely, it feels very…right.

She loves him. She’s known this for years. And although it is a love akin to how one loves a family member, and not a passionate love, it _is_ a type of love. A part of her feels at ease now that she knows that if they are successful, their child will grow up to feel loved and see love in their parents.

It’s something she’s never had, and something Murphy lost, but she’s confident that together, they won’t make the same mistake as their parents.

She’s not really thinking of the sex needed to make baby right now. If she gets her way, she’ll suggest they get _really drunk_ for their first time (or every time), if not to ease any awkwardness then just to throw caution to the wind and have some fun. They’ll have to see Abby first though, so she can give them the all-clear. No point in going through with this if either of them proved to be sterile.

Murphy only has one condition.

“If we’re gonna do this, I want that baby to know I’m their father,” he says. “I don’t want to be just a sperm donor. I don’t care who you fuck after, or if you decide the pilot is the one for you after all, our child will only have _one_ dad.”

Agreeing to that is the easiest choice she’s made in 131 years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have all been super nice about this story so far, and I just wanted to say thank you :)


	3. Testing and being tested

The council makes the announcement during dinner the following day.

They choose Gaia to speak. She’s eloquent, young, and as Madi’s mentor, she represents both the past and future for their people. Madi stands beside her during the announcement, as a reassuring symbol for the people who still consider her their one and only leader. Madi may not be ready herself to assume an official seat on the council, but she soon will start sitting in to observe. Once she feels ready, she will take her mentor’s seat.

Gaia outlines the issue for their people in a way that is informative but not forceful. She doesn’t demand anything of them, or hold the death of the human race over their heads like a clouded threat. But she also doesn’t hide the problem. She merely phrases it in a manner that will allow every one of their people to make up their own mind.

Raven makes an appointment to see Abby in a couple days. It’s not as soon as she’d like, but Abby has been working on setting up a separate clinical space in their medbay that will be used solely to see fertility cases. Diyoza is helping her, an act likely fueled by her own self-interest, since she will be the first to give birth on this new planet.

Raven continues to avoid Shaw. It’s easier than she thought because he’s constantly being sent on air exploration missions on the Gagarin with a small group others, Emori included.

Raven would do almost anything to be on one of those missions. Lab work is great, but to get a bird’s eye view on this strange planet? She can’t imagine what that feels like. However, every time she has asked to go, Kane tells she’s needed more back at camp. And to be honest, she hasn’t fought him very hard. Going on an air mission would also mean being in close quarters with Shaw for an extended amount of time, and truthfully, she’s not ready for that.

He sought her out after Gaia’s speech, and they had a short exchange where they agreed they would not be trying for a baby together. That probably would have been the best time to tell him that, while _they_ would not be having a baby, _she_ was going to try with someone else. Raven had never thought of herself as a coward, but in that moment, she just couldn’t tell him.

When their appointment with Abby finally rolls around, Raven finds she is incredibly nervous. It hits her so fast, she could have gotten whiplash. With every step she takes toward the medbay tent, the knot in the pit of her stomach tightens.

What if the years of consuming nothing but algae harmed her in some way? What if her implant malfunctioned? What if she can’t have children?

It doesn’t help that Murphy isn’t with her. She waited as long as she could for him in the center of camp, but he was obviously running late this morning. He needed to be present so that Abby could examine him too.

She parts the medbay tent open, calling out for Abby.

Clarke’s mom, dressed in a set of crisp blue scrubs Raven has never seen before, appears from behind a curtained area. She motions for her to come in, and Raven strolls past the front of the medical tent to an adjoining private area off the back. Abby closes the curtain behind her.

There’s an exam table in the center of the space, complete with wooden posts that taper into a ‘Y’ shape at its end—stirrups for her legs.

It’s all starting to feel very real now.

“Here’s a robe,” Abby says, handing her the white garment. “You can change behind that screen. Take off everything below your waist.”

Raven nods and disappears behind the dressing area. Thankfully, there’s a bench for her to sit on while she takes off her brace. She sees Abby has left a pair of crutches leaning on the bench, for which she is grateful.

Once she’s done, she makes her way slowly back to sit up on the exam table. Perched on the edge, she watches as Abby flits around the tent. She tries to ignore the tray of frightening instruments beside the exam table.

“What’s first on the agenda?” Raven asks.

Abby slides on a new pair of latex gloves. “First, we remove your implant,” she says. “Then, I’ll have to ask you a few questions, some which will be very personal—so I’ll apologize now—and then we’ll do a pelvic exam and pap smear to test your cervical cells. Ideally, this would be done during ovulation, but since your implant has prevented you from going through a natural cycle, we’ll just do what we can. We’ll finish off with a transvaginal ultrasound.”

That seemed like…a lot. It overwhelms her, and Raven can feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest. But she tries to quell it, and only replies with “Okay.”

“Is Shaw coming in also?” Abby asks as she takes a seat in a stool beside the exam table. “I’d like to run a few tests on him as well, and I thought you both would come in at the same time.”

Raven opens her mouth to answer, but before she can explain, they hear Murphy’s voice call out to both of them as he enters the main medical tent.

Abby looks at her quizzically, but lets him know they are in the back.

“Sorry I’m late,” he says. “Hard to be on time when no one can agree what time it is. We should seriously build some sundials or something.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Abby says. “We’re just getting started.”

Murphy stands on Raven’s other side as Abby swabs her inner left bicep with an alcohol wipe. Abby asks her to flex her arm, and Raven sees the familiar outline of her implant protrude slightly against her skin.

“This will pinch a little,” Abby warns.

Raven grits her teeth as Abby makes a small incision and coaxes the cylindrical rod out of her arm. It smarts, but nothing compared to what she’s been through before.

“It’s intact and it wasn’t attached to your muscles,” Abby says. “Those are both good signs.”

She stitches her up quickly, and with minimal pain. One thing they’re low on is anesthesia, and Abby wouldn’t use the little she has on things like this.

Abby then looks up at Murphy, clears her throat, and holds up an empty, small lidded container. “I need a sample,” she says. “There’s an outhouse just outside the tent. It should have everything you’ll need.”

Murphy looks confused for a split second before his neck flushes scarlet. “Is this really necessary?” he asks, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck.

Abby simply nods and he sighs in response.

“Have fun,” Raven quips as he is walking away. Abby tries to hide her smile but fails, though thankfully she misses Murphy flipping Raven off.

Abby takes her clipboard from the table with the surgical instruments and looks up at Raven. “Now that we’re alone, I wanted to apologize,” she says.

Thinking she’s talking about mistaking Murphy for Shaw, Raven waves her off. “Don’t worry about it,” she says. “I wouldn’t have expected you to know it wasn’t Shaw.”

But Abby shakes her head. “No, I’m not talking about that, although I admit I am surprised. I was talking about before—on the ground.”

Flashbacks of pain wash through her—not just the physical hurt of Abby electrocuting her, but the emotional toll it had caused. Abby had betrayed her. She had lied to her. Raven was not by nature a trusting person, but Abby had never before indicated that she would mislead her on purpose.

Those six years, whether spent in the bunker or on the Ring, had changed both of them. But Raven had never stopped caring about her like a mother. In fact, through the years, she had almost been _jealous_ of Clarke. She would have killed to have a parent love her like Abby loves Clarke.

Raven just nods at Abby. She’s at a loss for words at the moment. While she’s not upset anymore, she hasn’t exactly forgiven her.

“I just wanted to tell you,” Abby says. “I needed to get it off my chest.” Sensing that is the end of that conversation, she looks down at her clipboard. “Now, at what age did you first get your menses?”

“Twelve,” Raven answers.

Abby asks her about her mom’s birth, like whether she knew if her mom had gotten a mandatory abortion after she was born, or if she knew of any complications with her birth. She made note of Raven’s heart murmur—something Raven hadn’t thought about in years.

She also asks her if she’s ever had any unusual pain with sex, or if she has had a period or spotting since her implant was injected into her. Raven answers no to both.

“Last one,” Abby says. “How many sexual partners have you had?”

“Two,” Raven says and then winces as she remembers the one-night-stand with Bellamy. “Three,” she amends.

Abby simply nods. Thankfully, she doesn’t ask her when the last time she had sex was, because honestly… Raven can’t exactly remember. It had been Wick, for sure. She hasn’t thought about him in ages. Last she had heard of him, he’d entered the bunker. She guesses he died sometime in the six years.

Abby tucks a sheet around her waist for privacy as she begins to examine her. The questions might have been personal, but this was extremely uncomfortable. Raven screws her eyes shut as she feels gloved hands in her nether regions. Murphy might be busy at the moment, but she wishes he was there beside her, if only to make his stupid little jokes to distract her.

Abby reaches for a silver contraption on the cart and Raven stiffens. It looks like a torture device.

“This is called a speculum,” Abby explains, and casts a sympathetic look at her. “I’m afraid this won’t be pleasant,” she adds as she pours water over it in the sink.

The realization that it will go inside her causes her to clam up, but she knows that will only make it more painful. She forces herself to relax her muscles as Abby begins to slide the speculum inside. It hurts, that’s for sure, especially when Abby uses it to open her up, but Raven again reminds herself that she’s had worse.

She’s grateful that the speculum isn’t inside her for very long, as Abby is able to collect the necessary sample from her cervix swiftly.

“The worst has passed,” Abby soothes.

Raven blinks away the tears that formed in her eyes and breathes out in relief as she sees Murphy walk in. All at once, her attention is diverted to the milky liquid in the container he carries in his hand, and at the absolutely scarlet shade of his face.

He clears his throat and places his sample on the counter. “Done,” he says. He must have seen the sheen of sweat on her brow, or maybe her scrunched up face, because he quickly strides over and wipes her hair away from her forehead. “You ok?”

Raven nods. “Just don’t complain about having to jack off for science,” she says, drawing a grin and erasing the concerned lines on his forehead. “Also, did you wash your hands?”

“Of course I did,” he says, and bends down to whisper in her ear. “And I will say this: it’s no fun to do it alone.”

She hums and whispers back, “Did you think about me?”

Murphy licks his lips, but says nothing. She can’t help the butterflies that flood her stomach. This may be new ground for both of them, but even after all those years of celibacy, Raven hasn’t forgotten how to flirt.

Their little exchange is interrupted as Abby sits back down at Raven’s feet.

“Do you want a break?” she asks. “I can examine Murphy’s sperm if you want a breather before the ultrasound.”

“That’s all that’s left, right?” Raven says, and Abby nods. “Then let’s just get it over with.”

Abby wheels over the ultrasound monitor and Raven sighs as she sees the next device that will be inserted in her. This one is definitely less scary-looking, but the whole medical appointment has been taxing. She knows it’s a necessary step they need to take, but at this second, she wishes she were anywhere else.

Murphy exchanges an unsure look with her. “Should I, like… hold your hand or something? Is that something people do?”

Raven sees Abby smile to herself as she preps the machine. Raven intertwines her hand with his.

It helps. This device is in her longer than the speculum, though it has a similar feeling. On the screen, Abby explains what they’re looking at. Raven might be smart, but she has no idea if the things she’s saying are good, until Abby outright tells her.

“Your reproductive organs look to be in tip-top shape,” Abby says. “Considering I spot no abnormalities in your cervical cell sample, I see no reason why you shouldn’t be able to carry a baby to term.”

A flood of relief washes over her. She finds herself smiling at Abby—because that’s good news, even if it is preliminary. Murphy helps her off the table, which is unnecessary, but still nice because her legs are wobbly from the exams. Abby hands her a bag of toiletries, advising her she may see some spotting throughout the day, and that the bag contains everything she’ll need for her menses. Since her implant was removed, her body should regulate itself in the next couple of days and she’ll menstruate.

As she’s putting her clothes back on, Abby begins to examine Murphy’s sperm sample. When she comes out from behind the dressing screen, she can see Murphy fidgeting. He’s leaning over the exam table, granting her a great view of his ass. His hands are tapping a staccato rhythm on the surface of the table, and now it’s Raven’s turn to lay her hand over his.

They look at each other, communicating wordlessly. She understands his anxiety, but she knows, deep down, that this is going to work out.

That is confirmed when Abby cries out delightedly. She tears her face away from the microscope and motions them over.

“I swear, yours are the fastest moving I’ve seen today,” she says.

Raven, ever nosy, pushes Murphy away when he goes to take a look—she wants to be first. There, in that tiny droplet of his sample, are thousands of wiggling sperm cells.

“Wow, Murphy,” she marvels. “You’re gonna knock me up good.”

Murphy makes her slide over to take a look himself, and Raven can tell the exact moment his embarrassment molds into a weird sense of pride. He stands back up a little straighter.

“Guess you can actually count on the Murphy’s of this world to survive anything,” he says.

Abby squeezes his arm and lays a hand on Raven’s bicep. “I’m very optimistic.”

She then takes what’s left of Murphy’s sample, scribbling “J. Murphy” on its label, and carries it over to a fridge. When she opens it, Raven spots what seems like at least two dozen other sperm samples lined inside.

“Are these…?” Raven trails off.

Abby nods. “The people listened,” she says.

 

* * *

 

Shaw finds her a few days later in the tech tent. His face betrays no emotion but his eyes are livid. And with a sinking feeling of dread, she realizes _he knows_.

It was only a matter of time.

Raven meant to tell him eventually. She really, really did. To her credit, she even attempted to tell him a couple of times. She had sought him out at work and at dinner, but things were finally starting to calm down between them and she just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell him. Plus, her emotions had been all over the place lately as she went through her first period since she was 12. It had been just as terrible as she remembered.

Jordan’s head tilts in confusion as Shaw storms his way to Raven. Shaw ignores him and grabs Raven by her forearm, tearing her away from her station. All at once, Jordan springs into action, loudly protesting at Shaw’s manhandling as Raven urges him to let her go.

He does. “You’re coming with me,” he says, and it’s not a question. It’s a demand.

Raven rubs at her forearm where he latched on forcefully. She squares her shoulder and stares him down. She will not be humiliated. “Fine, but don’t you dare touch me like that again.”

She nods at Jordan as they leave the tent, assuring him silently that she will be fine. Shaw may be pissed, but he would never hurt her.

They walk until the outer edges of camp, seeking the privacy needed for this conversation. She could’ve taken him to her tent, but she didn’t. Being anywhere other than outdoors at this moment feels too confining.

“So,” she begins, tucking her hands in her back pockets. “You know.”

Shaw nods his head once, his chin jutting out in anger. Hurt too—she can see it in his eyes.

“I was going to tell you,” Raven says, regret coloring her voice. “I just…didn’t know how to.”

He snorts, shaking his head. “I imagine it would be a difficult conversation. ‘Hey, I know you and I have something going on, but I’m gonna fuck another man and have his baby.’”

“It’s not like that.”

“The hell it isn’t,” he says. “You should’ve told me. I shouldn’t have had hack into Abby’s medical records to find out.”

She pauses.

Whenever she pictured Shaw finding out, she always thought it would be one of her friends that would accidentally let something slip, thinking he already knew. She never expected he would be the one to find out on his own. And digging through her confidential medical file, which was full of personal information about her life and her body… She feels violated.

 “You did, what?” she asks, softly, a warning edge to her voice.

Shaw doesn’t waver. “I knew you were hiding something. I had to find out for myself,” he sighs. “Raven, I thought you might have been sick or something.”

“Then you ask me!” Raven huffs, exasperated. She throws her hands in the air in frustration, and slaps them down on the sides of her thighs.

“Right, like it’s so simple,” he argues and takes a step toward her, “like you don’t put up a fucking wall every time I try to get to know you better. Hell, it’s like you thrive on being miserable so you push anyone away that has the potential to make you happy.”

She takes a step back. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she says. “You have _no_ fucking idea.” Her voice is beginning to shake and she takes a deep breath to calm herself. She’s absolutely furious. When she speaks again, her voice is a hair above a whisper, but each word carries a dangerous bite. “I have seen hundreds of people die right before my eyes. I have seen my _friends_ die. The _love of my life_ was stabbed by one of my best friends as I watched.”

“My bones have been drilled for bone marrow with me lying there chained and awake,” she continues, this time taking steps toward him. She holds up her scarred wrists. “I _slit my own wrists_ at the control of someone else. I have been lied to, manipulated and betrayed.” She lays a hand on her belly. “ _This_ is my choice.”

Her statement resonates in the air between them for a beat. And she knows Shaw can’t debate it. It’s her body and her life.

“You’re right,” he says, but from the tone of his voice, it’s clear the argument hasn’t ended. “It’s your choice to have a baby with the man who crippled you.”

Her hand flies up and slaps his cheek with an audible smacking sound. He exhales, a sharp disbelieving breath emitting from his lips. Her actions have caught him by surprise.

She’s not, though. Raven has had enough of people telling her what choices she should or shouldn’t make. She’s had enough of Shaw undermining her as if somehow the few kisses they have shared make her his. Raven belongs to no one but herself. She owes him nothing.

“I’m choosing to have a baby with a man who _respects_ me,” Raven says. “Who respects where I’ve come from. So why don’t go float yourself?” As she walks away, she looks at him coolly over her shoulder. “Sorry, I forget you’re not one of us. You wouldn’t understand. I think your generation used the phrase, ‘go fuck yourself.’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I don't hate Shaw, nor do I intend to villainize him in this fic. Remember, this story is entirely from Raven's perspective, and she's an opinionated and headstrong narrator. I only write what I feel is believable from her side (or at least try to lol)


	4. Kiss away my sins

Meal times in this new planet are always interesting.

For the moment, they have a group of people operating as cooks for the entire camp. They’re in charge of everything that has to do with feeding their people, aside from gathering the actual food. For now, they’re mostly eating a plant, legumes and fruit-based diet, but they do have meat once in a while. Hunting for this many people has the potential to shock the animal populations, and they’re trying to minimize their impact.

They’ve discovered a sort of boar-like species whose meat is actually pretty tasty, and as things progress, there is hope to one day start a farm in their camp—which by then, will resemble more of a village than a community of tents, if all continues to go according to plan.

Today, they’re having said-boar for dinner, and Raven is excited. It’s all about the little things. She sets her plate down beside Emori’s, who’s sitting across from Murphy. She has to contain a moan when she brings a forkful of meat to her lips. After six years eating nothing but algae, this is her definition of heaven.

“I think you’re enjoying this a little too much,” Murphy says. He smirks at her. “I would offer you some of mine, but you’re not pregnant yet.”

Emori laughs. “Keyword is ‘yet,’ Raven,” she says. “Remember that John promised you his food rations when pregnancy cravings kick in.”

Raven rolls her eyes at both of them, although she’s not actually annoyed. Maybe it’s a weird thing for them to be discussing causally, but it makes Raven feel at ease that it’s not awkward between them at all.

“I promise you _most_ of my rations,” Murphy clarifies, and lifts a single digit in the air. “Except my _juju_ fruit. Those are mine.” He’s referring to the pink berries they’ve recently discovered. They’re juicy and ridiculously sweet, without a hint of tang. They have them a few times a week for dessert and Murphy is obsessed with them.

“You know they don’t have an official name yet,” Raven points out.

“What’s the fun in colonizing a new planet if we can’t name things? Let’s all remember that our ancestors on Earth named an actual creature a ‘dodo’ bird.”

The conversation remains easy-going for the duration of dinner. It’s the end of the work week, and spirits are high. In fact, morale has been on the rise for the last couple of weeks. People are finally starting to get used to this planet, and Raven guesses the sex being had by the couples trying for babies doesn’t hurt. Emori complains all the time about the sounds carrying over to her tent, and once again, Raven is glad she sleeps so far away from everyone.

To her surprise, a small group of people begin playing music on homemade guitars, drums and other instruments near the end of meal time. A few others join in song, and within minutes, the outdoor dining hall is flooded with music and dancing.

Raven smiles as she observes their people letting loose. She spots Bellamy dancing with Echo in the middle of the crowd, her hands looped around his neck. They’re laughing as they fumble around the makeshift dance floor. Good, she thinks. They deserve this.

A handsome _Wonkru_ man approaches their table, extending a hand to Emori. A wide grin spreads across her face as she takes his hand and he leads her to the dance floor. Raven watches them for a bit, laughing to herself as the man twirls Emori. She never thought she’d see the day to see a carefree Emori.

Her thoughts are interrupted when Murphy clears his throat. She turns her head to face him, diverting her attention.

“So,” he says. “Tonight?”

His words cause a flurry of nervous energy in her belly. They haven’t really talked about when they’ll have sex for the first time, aside of when they agreed after their appointment with Abby to wait until after her period.

Carefully, Raven nods. “Sure,” she says, hoping her voice doesn’t sound too jumpy. “Tonight’s as good a night as any.”

“Ok,” he replies. He chokes out a strangled laugh. “I don’t know why, but I feel like a virgin,” he says. “This is weird.”

She smiles, because she’s feeling the same way. “Very weird,” she agrees. “But,” she leans over the table. “It should be…fun.”

His eyebrows shoot up. “Fun?” he scoffs. “I will remind you this is merely a biological transaction,” he jokes. “No _fun_ will be had tonight.”

Raven struggles to keep a straight face. “You’re absolutely right. What was I thinking?” She betrays herself as a smile peeps through her lips.

Murphy stands up with a groan and extends a hand out to her. Is John Murphy seriously asking her to dance? Raven raises her eyebrows in shock and he waves his hand impatiently. “Come on, baby momma,” he says. “This is a one-time offer.”

She stands and takes his hand, letting him lead her to the throng of people moving their hips to the thumping beat that soon matches the pace of her heart. She hasn’t danced in ages.

Murphy flips her around and positions her so that her ass is grinding against his front, his hands gripping her hips in a way she’s sure will leave behind the ghosts of his fingertips. She leans her head back against the crook of his neck, letting herself sway to the music, and inhaling the woodsy sweet scent of his skin. He smells like pine needles and vanilla.

It’s euphoric.

A part of her brain tells her that not so long ago, she considered this man to be like her brother. But that part of her brain is so very small in this instance, that when one of Murphy’s hands wanders up to tease the exposed skin between her pants and shirt, all she can think about is how long it’s been since she’s been touched like this.

How is it that just a brush of his fingers has her this hot and bothered already? She doesn’t have an answer.

Murphy’s lips brush against the shell of her ear, maybe unintentionally as he leans in to speak to her. “Well, maybe we can have a little fun,” he says.

She tilts her head to meet his eyes, and in the dim twilight, they look like twin crystals. She’s confident she looks flushed, and whether it’s from the exertion of dancing or the building anticipation of the rest of the night, she’s not sure. Murphy must’ve seen something in her gaze because he steers them out of the crowd, and without letting go of her hand, they disappear into the outskirts of camp.

Like her, Murphy has chosen a secluded spot to sleep. His is closer to the river. He likes hearing the bubbling of the water as it courses through at night, he said.

He zips the tent closed once inside, and she might’ve found the sound grating if it wasn’t for the thumping of her heart in her chest. Murphy steps behind her, and the second his hands touch her shoulders, she jolts. He doesn’t retract them, but brushes his fingertips down her arms in a soothing motion. It’s so unlike the Murphy she knows, she wonders if she really knows him as him as well as she thinks.

“It doesn’t have to be tonight,” he says. “We can wait until you’re ready.” After a beat, he adds, “or not at all, if you’ve changed your mind.”

She turns around sharply. Her eyes search his for hints of uncertainty on his part. “I haven’t,” she affirms. “You?”

He shakes his head. She can’t read what he’s feeling, but he steps away from her to dig underneath a pile of his clothes. In the meantime, Raven lowers herself to the ground, sitting with her legs tucked underneath her.

Murphy procures a small bottle of an amber liquid and two small shot glasses. “Liquid courage?” he suggests.

“Where did you get that?”

He heaves himself to the ground next to her, close enough that she can feel the heat of his skin, but not so as they’re touching. “I grabbed it from Eligius.”

“So you stole it,” she says.

“Semantics,” he brushes her off. “Look, do you want some or not?”

“Yes, please.”

The bottle is a little less than half empty after he tops each shot glass. He hands her one gently, so as not to spill it.

“Cheers,” he says, and they down the alcohol in one pull.

Raven winces as the liquid burns her throat. It’s been a while since she’s had a drink. Monty never did figure out how to make alcohol out of algae on the Ring.

Murphy hisses after he swallows. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Raven holds out her glass, nonverbally communicating that she would like another shot. Murphy pushes her hand away.

“Absolutely not,” he says. “I’m saving the rest.”

“Murphy,” she whines but he doesn’t budge.

“Nope, not gonna work. If we’re doing this, we’re doing this sober.”

She groans and leans into him, muttering a _you’re killing me_ under her breath. He snickers in response and she rolls into the sound. Looking at him through her lashes, she thinks this is the moment. It’s now or never and she’s ready.

Raven inches upward and as if being pulled by a string, or maybe by magnets, they reposition their bodies so that they’re both kneeling, the lengths of their torsos just out of reach of each other.

She snakes a hand up his neck to cup his jaw, her eyes drifting down to his slightly parted lips. His breath fans over her lightly, and for the first time, thanks to their proximity, she can feel his heart beating a thunderous gallop in his chest. It’s reassuring to her.

Her fingers trace his proud nose. Though she’ll never say it out loud, she admires the hard lines that make him who he is.

It takes an eternity—or maybe just seconds—for Murphy to tentatively close the distance between them. His lips just barely graze hers, cautious as he retreats. He’s giving her the upper hand, the chance to change her mind even now.

The thought, and probably her impatience, causes her to pull his face to hers forcefully. She captures his bottom lip between hers and pulls on it with her teeth. He sighs against her mouth as she pulls away. And in that split second, something snaps inside of him.

Murphy wraps a hand in her hair, still tied up, and uses it to bring her to him. This time, he kisses her like she’s his lifeline. That’s the only way she can describe it—hot, breathy and like she’s the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted.

Her hands hold his jaw in place. They don’t need to breath. Air is an unnecessary burden for her at this moment in time. She can taste the alcohol on his tongue and even though they only had one shot, she thinks she can get drunk just on this.

She gasps as Murphy tears his mouth away and dots her neck with sucking, open-mouthed kisses. Her eyelids flutter close as he reaches a particularly sensitive spot, and he must’ve heard the hitch in her breathing, because he lingers there.

“Untie your hair,” he orders against her skin.

She’s more than happy to oblige, rolling the tie on her wrist for safekeeping and shaking out the braids at the crown of her head. He watches her with a heated gaze, his eyes almost a mirror image of the hottest flames and sharply contrasting the apple red of his swollen lips. She shrugs off her jacket, and he does the same.

He strips off his gray Henley as her fingers work his belt buckle undone. Raven lifts the hem of her white singlet over her head. She scoots back onto his sleeping bag, topped with various blankets from Eligius. When she sits up to undo the latches on her brace, Murphy stops her.

“Let me,” he says.

Carefully, almost in a reverent manner, he releases her from her brace, latch by latch. He moves the large contraption aside. It’s still within reach should she need it.

He climbs over her, bracing himself on his elbows so as not to crush her. He kisses her once, twice, thrice on her lips before drawing a path down with his lips—her chin, the juncture of her neck, between her breasts. He draws a circle around her belly button with his tongue and Raven shivers. It’s like he’s worshipping her body and it’s been a long time since someone has.

Murphy raises his eyes to her when he reaches the clasp of her pants, and she nods. He unbuttons them and slides them down her hips, and follows their path with his teeth. Once he reaches her knees, he pulls them completely out of the way, in an almost annoyed way like it’s the pants fault they were on her.

Her heart jumps and tears form in the corner of her eyes when he plants sweet kisses down her bad leg. He’s murmuring something on her skin, too low for her to hear, but she can guess he’s apologizing.

She will have none of that tonight.

Raven nudges him, indicating to come back up to her. When she has him distracted with languid kisses, she flips them over so that she’s on top.

“Nice view,” he says, his voice gravelly.

She smiles conspiratorially. “I hope it’s about to get better.” Reaching around her back, she unclasps her bra and lets it fall from her shoulders.

His eyes blaze on her newly exposed skin and when he starts to lean up toward her, she pushes him back down.

“My turn,” she says, very aware of his hardness pressing against her heated core.

She goes to remove his pants, but squeaks when Murphy takes the opportunity to flip them over again.

“I win,” he murmurs in her ear, and she rolls her eyes. But she’ll let him have this one.

He kneels, her legs between his, and takes off his pants, not wasting any more time and removing his shorts with them. Maybe it’s because it’s been over a century since she’s seen a man naked, but a thrill courses down her spine.

“Damn,” she says.

“Impressed?” He says as he leans over her.

She rises up to capture his lips. “Very,” she says against his lips. She hooks her thumbs in her underwear and slips them off, desperate to fully feel every inch of his hot skin on hers. She parts her legs, and Murphy sighs as he nestles between them.

Raven runs her fingers through his hair, their lips only separating for those annoying breaths of air, more like gasps at this point. She can feel him at her entrance and she’s ready. God, she’s so ready.

When he asks, finally, she nods frantically. Like in every other aspect of her life, he has driven her to the brink of insanity. She’s so tightly coiled, she thinks she could probably get off on merely the friction of him against her.

He’s slow as he enters her, and she’s grateful. It’s been so long, and she admits she’s almost forgotten what it feels like. It’s a little painful at first as he stretches her, but that soon melts away to a sense of completeness. Full, she feels so full.

She hikes her good leg on his back, and Murphy groans against her neck. He positions her bad leg to mirror its counterpart, and Raven locks her ankles together.

He keeps their pace maddeningly steady. And slow, like he’s savoring every thrust, every intake of breath, every moan he’s able to draw from her.

She should be embarrassed by the needy sounds that escape her, but she’s too gone to care. Beads of sweat form on his brow and she brushes them away. Murphy muffles her cries with his lips, nipping hers with his teeth in a way that causes her to grip his shoulders, her nails digging into his flesh.

Raven guesses he’s close to finishing when he snakes a hand between them, and the sensation of his calloused fingers on her sensitive bundle of nerves soon has her careening over the edge. She’s almost boneless when he snaps his hips to her one last time, exhaling a hot breath in the crook of her neck.

She can feel his spend trickling out of her. They did it. They really did it.

But she doesn’t have much time to linger on that thought because Murphy’s arms are shaking as he struggles to keep himself from crushing her. She scoots slightly to the side and pulls him down so that his head is on her breasts.

She rests her chin on the crown of his head, tracing whispers of patterns on his bare back until his breathing evens out. His hair tickles the underside of her chin, and she runs her fingers up to the nape of his neck where it’s starting to grow long again. He’ll need another cut in a few weeks.

“So,” she breaks their silence. Murphy shifts to look up at her. “I’d call that a success.”

She feels him grin against her skin before pressing a soft kiss high on her breast. He rolls off her and to his feet with a long groan. Stark naked, he wanders over to the edge of the tent to grab a small towel, returning to clean her up and then himself before putting his boxer briefs back on.

“Dare I say,” he says as he settles down again beside her. “It was fun?”

Raven smiles. “You can say that.” She sits up, searching for her underwear in the dark before slipping them on. She tugs her bra on, connecting the straps in the back.

“You don’t have to go,” Murphy says. She glances over at him. He’s propped up on his elbow, but she can’t really read his eyes in the dark.

Raven lays back down, rolling over so that they’re face to face. “I wasn’t planning to,” she says. “Round two is going to be _much easier_ if we’re in the same tent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said slowburn...but like they need to have a baby sooooo lol Feelings are definitely slowburn :P


	5. New boundaries

Nothing could have prepared them for the heatwave that descended upon them three weeks later.

The rise in temperature happened overnight. They all went to bed one night with a cool breeze in the air and woke up in hell. Raven had to literally peel herself off Murphy sometime before dawn—their naked skin was sticky with sweat and balmy to the touch. In all her years of living, she had never been so hot. Maybe it was a side-effect of having two suns on this planet, but the heat was infernal.

Chaos erupted in camp for almost two days as they adjusted to daytime temperatures that hovered around 105 degrees with humidity. About 20 people suffered heat strokes—the majority of which were workers building the camp’s sewage system. Thankfully, no one died, though it seemed virtually everyone had a sunburn of some kind.

Raven has been able to avoid it thanks to working in the tech lab all day. Murphy, on the other hand, wasn’t so lucky. His fair skin was not suited for this weather, and after one especially long recon mission, he returned to camp with his skin on fire and burning red. She had stayed up all night applying cold compresses to his skin and ignoring his sarcastic comments about how this planet was cooking them alive. She made an off-hand remark about how this was good practice for when they had a kid, and for some reason, that fired him up and they ended up fucking well into the early morning hours.

After 10 days without a respite from the heat, Raven cut a pair of her pants into shorts. Abby warned them about exposed skin, but there was no way she could work in the tech tent all day—sans ventilation—with long pants. Lately, she’s also been tying her tank top above her bellybutton and piling all her hair on top of her head.

She was even considering cutting it short since it was such a bother, but Murphy adamantly opposed that idea. Though she didn’t really care what he thought about her hair, she was keeping it long for now in case the temperature changed drastically again soon. She’d hate to cut it above her shoulders for no reason. Her hair took forever to grow.

Murphy’s sunburn has finally finished peeling (his back had been gnarly for a while, but she had been mildly fascinated with helping him peel the flaky skin) and Raven woke up extra motivated this morning. She had nudged Murphy awake—a hard feat in and of itself—and swung her leg over his bare hip to grind herself against his groin.

Because of the heat, they’ve been sleeping naked, and Raven has been taking full advantage of that.

Afterward, Raven remains on top with her body flush against his as they kiss languidly. She admits to herself that this is one of the nicest parts of regularly sleeping with somebody. In the month they have been doing this, things have obviously changed between them.

But it’s a good change, she thinks. Their relationship as a whole hasn’t been altered, at least to any outsider looking in. But at the core of everything, they have developed a newfound intimacy. She doesn’t have to pretend to be something she’s not with him. He knows the good, the bad and the truly dark things about her, and vice versa. And she respects him more now than ever.

Plus, damn he was good with his dick.

The camp’s morning bell interrupts their kissing, the sound faraway yet harsh. It means it’s time for breakfast.

Murphy groans as she rolls off him. “I hate that stupid bell,” he says.

Raven elbows him playfully. “You’re the one who wanted an official time-marker.”

“I asked for sundials. Not a military regime.”

She rolls her eyes. He could be such a drama queen. Gathering her clothes, she shoots him a look over her shoulder. “I’m going for a quick dip in the spring. Wanna join?”

He’s up and moving around his tent now, slipping on the pair of shorts she cut for him just above the knee. “Wish I could, Reyes, but we don’t have time today.”

“We?” She raises an eyebrow.

“Yep,” he says while putting his shirt on. When his head emerges once again, he adds, “You’re coming with me on a recon mission.”

Her jaw drops slightly before smiling ruefully and shaking her head. “Stop messing with me. I’m going for a dip.”

She is halfway out his tent when he clears his throat. “Not joking. We leave in fifteen.”

Exactly twelve minutes later, she meets him at the front of camp. Bellamy, Clarke , Jordan and Octavia are also there. Murphy hands her a pack and she follows him to one of the high-tech Eligius rovers she’s been dying to get her hands on. She’s itching to take a look under its hood before they take off, but she still has a ton of unanswered questions about the mission.

Jordan bounces up to her, excitement visible in his eyes. It occurs to her that he’s also been stuck at camp with her for the last month, and she knows at once that this mission’s purpose goes beyond simple mapping.

Raven glances over at Clarke, who is saying goodbye to Madi. She waits patiently as the two exchange a quick hug. Once Madi is out of earshot, Raven moves to stand beside Clarke. “What are we looking for?”

If she’s caught her by surprise, Raven can’t tell. Clarke wears the same stony expression she’s mastered from her time on the ground. “We heard a strange noise on the radio last night. We’re going to try to find its source.”

“Human?” Raven asks.

Clarke shakes her head. “We don’t think so, but it’s worth checking out. More than likely it’s some sort of creature, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“I told her it’s probably a T-Rex,” Murphy says, interrupting them. “But she’s not listening to me.”

“With good reason,” Raven says.

They climb inside the rover in a matter of minutes. Raven is sitting in the back with Jordan, Murphy and Octavia, much to her displeasure. She understood why she wouldn’t be allowed to drive, seeing as she has zero idea where she’s going, but she didn’t think riding shot gun was too much to ask.

Her irritation fades quickly as they get going. How could she let it linger when she was finally getting to see what this planet looked like beyond their tiny camp? Even if they only drove a few miles, she’s seeing all of this for the first time, and nothing could ruin that.

Her eyes take in the rolling hills, lush and green with tall grasses that sway in the wind. They’re going too fast for her to see the wildflowers in detail in the meadow to the west, but she appreciates the way the vibrant yellows, reds and blues blend together as if brushed over with a thin paintbrush.

She glances over at Murphy, who is sitting with Jordan across from her and Octavia. Murphy is resting his head on the wall of the rover, his eyes closed as he dozes. That man could sleep anywhere, she swears. Raven can’t believe he’s missing out on the views outside, but she guesses he’s too familiar with them to care at this point. Jordan, on the other hand, shares her fascination and is glued to the rover’s windows, his eyes peering in between the slats.

Her attention is suddenly diverted as Octavia slides closer to her on the bench.   
“So,” Octavia says, her voice low so as not to be heard by anyone else. “Are you pregnant yet?”

Raven balks, startled. Trust in Octavia to be extremely direct. “Good morning to you too,” Raven replies, shaking her head in slight disbelief.

Octavia rolls her eyes. “Are you or are you not?”

Raven sighs and shrugs. “I don’t know,” she admits. “I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t feel any different. But Abby told me it’s too early to tell anyways.”

Octavia simply nods.

There are many reasons why Raven finds this conversation to be absolutely bizarre, beginning and ending with the overall theme that she and Octavia have never really talked. Not even on Earth.

“I’ll tell you something,” Octavia says, jolting her out of her thoughts. “You and Murphy are handling this a lot better than those two,” she points toward Bellamy and Clarke in the front seats.

“Well, I’d say being in a committed relationship would put a strain on things.”

Octavia scoffs, her head shaking from side to side as she laughs softly. “ _Committed,_ please. My brother has been in love with Clarke since we stepped foot on the ground. Echo will never hold a candle to her.”

“You’re wrong,” Raven disagrees. “You don’t know what happened between them on the Ring.”

“What I know is that Bellamy would have never started that relationship if he knew Clarke was alive,” Octavia says, raising an eyebrow in defiance. “You know I’m right.”

“Wow,” Raven says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “With all the animosity between you and Clarke, I never would’ve thought you were gunning for them to be together. Didn’t she also try to kill you?”

“Indirectly,” Octavia concedes. “But Echo was the one to put a sword through me.”

“Yet here you are.”

“Here I am.”

They don’t speak for the rest of the drive. Raven refocuses on the passing landscapes, on the green meadows that softly transform into sea oats and palms. Gone are the wildflowers in this part—instead, she spots sea grape plants. The salty smell of the air confirms that they are somewhere near a coast.

Clarke told her they were searching for the source of a strange sound, which means there is a hint of danger surrounding this mission. It makes sense why they would bring Octavia and Murphy in that case, but the fact that they also chose to bring her and Jordan meant that Octavia and Murphy’s presence was a precaution rather than a necessity.

Either way, she’s not complaining.

When the rover finally comes to a stop some thirty minutes or so later, she’s dying to get out and get an obstructed view of the beach that surrounds them. She can hear the sound of waves kissing the shoreline and the push and pull on the sand that comes along with it.

Murphy hasn’t stirred yet. She waits for Octavia and Jordan to file out of the rover before hitting his knee. “Wake up, sleeping beauty.”

He opens one eye reluctantly before letting out a long sigh, as if arriving at their destination is such an inconvenience to him. He stretches out on the bench like a cat, emitting a loud yawn.

“You done?” she asks.

 “You never let me sleep,” he replies. He slaps her ass as she is exiting the rover, causing her to jump. She quickly retaliates by smacking his chest with the back of her hand.

“ _Behave_ ,” Raven admonishes, but he just shrugs at her and hikes his pack up higher.

They congregate on the beach in a circle, the hot son beating harshly down on them. She looks at Murphy, whose sunburned skin has left behind a soft tan. She admits to herself that she’s a little concerned about what another bout of sunburn will do to his skin, so she shades her eyes with her hands to pretend like the suns are bothering her, and asks Bellamy if they can talk under a nearby crop of palm trees.

They crouch on the sand as Clarke produces a partially-drawn map out of her pack. Raven immediately spots their camp, bordered by the river and pictured on the parchment as a cluster of tents with a bubble of empty space above it. It’s true they have neither christened the camp nor this new planet.

The council has discussed the camp’s name, sure. But none of them can agree. Naming the camp in trigedasleng is unappealing to Diyoza, as her people don’t speak the language, and every name that has come up in English is trash, in Raven’s humble opinion.

They haven’t even tackled trying to name this new Earth.

Clarke traces a line from their camp to an empty space on the map, past markings similar to those they passed on the way here.

She sits on the ground, taking a case full of drawing equipment from her bag. She unfolds a board and slides it under the map before getting to work in capturing the terrain around them.

When it becomes apparent that they don’t need to hover while she does this, the rest of them scatter on the beach, except for Bellamy whose middle name _should have been_ “hover.”

Raven walks up to the crystal clear water. She gets so close the waves lap at the toes of her boots. Crouching, she wets her hands, marveling at the water’s warm temperature. She’s never experienced something like this. All the beaches she saw on Earth were not exactly tropical in nature, their waters biting and frigid.

But this… This is a paradise.

Jordan lets out a long sigh of appreciation at the sight of the endless horizon and turquoise waters before them. “How can this be real?” he marvels. His wonder reminds her of when she first stepped out of the dropship all those years ago, how she twirled in slow circles as she took in the dense forest that surrounded her.

“It’s beautiful,” she says before heaving herself back up. A slight wave of pain shoots up her knee, which she has learned to ignore.

“I’m going to go explore over there,” he points to a spot on the other side of the beach. “Don’t do anything fun without me.”

“We would never,” she says with a small smile.

Not for the first time, she finds herself wishing she could have seen him grow up—that she could have seen Monty and Harper be his parents. Some nights, she wishes Monty and Harper had woken her up from cryo for a little, if just to have more time with them. A day, a week...A year.  She can only imagine how lonely they must’ve felt after putting Jordan in cryo. And then when Harper died… If she manages to get pregnant, she knows she will be wishing that Harper could be here to help her.

From the corner of her eye, she sees Murphy disappear in the opposite direction Jordan went on, and decides to follow him up the rock outcropping. It’s not like they’re doing much of anything at the moment.

She finds him peering down into a tide pool. The waves hit its edges, sending whitewater spraying through the air.

“How deep do you think this is?” He asks.

“Murphy, no.”

“It’s probably only like ankle deep. Shin deep at most.”

“Murphy, _no_.”

He groans before tugging her to him by her waist. “Why do you love telling me ‘no?’ Is that what our future spawn is going to be subjected to?” When she rolls her eyes, he taps a finger to her lips. “Oh I get it now,” he says. “It turns you on.”

She swats his hand out of her face. “I signed up to have _one_ child—not two.”

“What if we make twins?”

“Highly unlikely. There hasn’t been a case of twins in all of the Ark’s existence.”

He hums and steals a kiss from her, sucking on her bottom lip in that way he’s figured out drives her crazy. “I love it when you talk facts.”

He tangles a hand in her hair in his effort to bring her closer, his lips slotting against hers as they kiss atop the rocks. They’re getting sprayed by the ocean, but she doesn’t care. She savors the feel and taste of him as he explores her mouth with his tongue.

Breathless, she pulls away. “Murphy, we’re on a mission.”

“Yes,” he chases her mouth. “A mission to get you pregnant.”

She laughs, placing two fingers against his lips. “Settle down, tiger.”

They’re interrupted by someone clearing their throat, and they look down to see Clarke.

She wears a pinched look on her face, like she has just sucked on something sour. Trust in her to ruin any fun to be had in this mission, though she has every right to chastise them. The last thing they want is to be caught off guard.

Murphy sighs, muttering “Duty calls” as he loosens his grip on her hips. He hops down into the soft sand and extends a hand to help her down. Clarke doesn’t say anything, but her displeasure is still clear as day on her face. She turns on her heel without another word, forcing Murphy and Raven to trail behind her.

They regroup at the beach again and Clarke announces they will split into pairs. Her eyes bore into Raven’s challengingly as she informs them who will pair up with whom. She sends Murphy and Octavia to explore the northern side of the beach, and Bellamy and Jordan to scope out the south. That leaves Raven to investigate the tropical jungle of trees to the west with Clarke, which comes as no surprise.

She and Clarke travel the first quarter of a mile or so in silence. Raven is not quite sure what she’s supposed to be on the lookout for, as Bellamy only said they were searching for “something with the ability to make a deep eerie sound.”

Raven had to bite her tongue to keep from telling him that anything in this world could be capable of that, as far as they knew.

Raven is ducking under a curved vine when Clarke decides to break the silence.

“You and Murphy are getting pretty serious,” she says, and from her tone and choice of phrasing, Raven knows it’s not a question. It’s a statement.

“We are trying to bring a new life into this world,” Raven replies, wondering  if they’re really going to have this conversation. “Trying to save the human race and all. I’d say that’s serious enough.”

From behind her, Raven can hear Clarke sigh. Yes, they apparently will be. “That’s not what I meant. I’m just… worried about you.”

“That’s nice, but there’s no reason for you to worry. Murphy and I are fine.” She turns and stops to face her. “So, I’d appreciate it if we just leave things at that.”

Judging from Clarke’s furrowed eyebrows, that doesn’t seem likely.  “I just think you should be careful. Throwing caution to the wind for a few moments of pleasure isn’t the best idea in the long run.”

Raven shoots her a crazy look and decides to keep going forward. No way is she going to listen to this. Clarke is way out of bounds talking to her about this, and honestly, Raven’s starting to get a little pissed.

“Think about it,” Clarke continues, oblivious to Raven’s animosity on the matter. “What are you two going to do when a baby comes along?”

“Then we’ll have a baby.”

“And if things go sour between you?” she presses. “What if he decides to get back with Emori?”

Raven is unfazed by this. “Things aren’t going to go sour because we know what we’re doing,” she says, her words clipped. “If he wants to get back with Emori in the future, then good for them. That won’t stop us from being able to parent a child together.”

“You’re saying that because it’s easy now. You’re single. He’s single. You guys can fool around as much as you want because there are no unwanted consequences. But what if that changes?” Clarke asks. “What if, one day, you wake up and realize you want more with him, or he wakes up and realizes he does, and neither one of you are on the same page?”

Once again, Raven stops in her tracks. This time though, she admits to herself that she is a little unnerved. She has thought about this—multiple times. It’s something she _is_ starting to worry about. That’s why she’s made up her mind that they won’t have sex again after she confirms that she’s pregnant, even though the thought of stopping causes a knot in the pit of her stomach. Clarke is right about one thing: being with Murphy is easy.

But she’s not going to tell Clarke any of this, because it’s really none of her business.

“You know Clarke,” Raven finally says. “Some things you just can’t control. That’s how life is.”

“You can control this,” she insists, and Raven rolls her eyes. “Otherwise, it’s just a recipe for disaster.”

Raven scoffs. “Really? Do you really want to talk about recipes for disaster?”

“Bellamy and I are different,” she says, jutting her chin out in her defiant way. “We have rules.”

“What rules? You can’t make rules for this kind of stuff.”

It turns out, yes you can.

In the spirit of proving a point, Clarke goes into detail about said rules—1) no sleepovers, 2) no kissing, 3) no unnecessary removal of clothing, 4) no displays of affection, and possibly the most ridiculous of all 5) no orgasms on her part (mainly because his were unavoidable).

The first thought that crosses her mind is that Clarke is insane and Bellamy is even more insane for agreeing to these terms. She asks Clarke that if she was going to implement all these ridiculous regulations, why didn’t she just pick someone else to have a kid with? If the purpose of these rules was to minimize the damage to Bellamy and Echo’s relationship, well… That ship has probably sailed.

Clarke said Bellamy wouldn’t let her consider someone else, and Raven’s thoughts wander back to her conversation with Octavia in the rover.

Maybe, just maybe, Octavia wasn’t as wrong as Raven thought she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit late! Had a busy couple of days. Hope it was worth the wait :)


	6. Breach

No one is shocked when none of them find anything.

Looking for a specific sound, mind you one that the majority of those on the mission had never heard, in a tropical jungle is like finding a needle in a very large haystack. Add the fact that no one knows what the needle looks like, and the whole thing becomes pointless.

Nevertheless, Bellamy tells them they will wait until nightfall, in case the creature is nocturnal.

Raven is sweaty, cranky and tired, but it doesn’t matter, because there’s no place she would rather be. Finally wandering outside of their camp means everything to her. She hates the feeling of being cooped up, and for the last couple of months, that’s exactly how she’s felt. Her days are spent in the tech tent either examining plants with Jordan or working on building electrical solar panels to help power the entire camp, and someone’s always telling her what to work on next, or calling her to fix some mindless problem with their tech. It’s exhausting.

Here, illuminated only by firelight and under the pinpoints of a thousand stars, she feels free.

They eat their rations by the fire. Jordan talks animatedly about the white crabs in the sand and the luminous empty seashells scattered on the shore. They listen to him intently, partly because everyone else is tired, but also because Jordan’s sense of wonder is so refreshing. He is the only one of them completely absolved of sin, the only one not that doesn’t carry the heavy weight of guilt on his shoulders.

After dinner, Raven makes her way back to the shore. She plops down onto the sand, hugging her knees into her chest. The soothing sound of the waves lulls her into a peaceful state. So concentrated is she on the way the four moons reflect on the crystal water that she doesn’t notice Bellamy approach her until he sits down beside her.

“Hey,” he says. “How are you holding up?”

“Never better. Even if I’m a little sweaty,” she smiles.

He laughs, wiping beads of perspiration from his forehead. “At least there’s a breeze here. Camp is like an inferno.” Bellamy sighs, shifting back to rest on his elbows, his legs outstretched in front of him. “Sorry the mission was a dud.”

“No need. I’m just happy to see more of this planet.”

“Well, you have Murphy to thank for that,” Bellamy says, and Raven stares at him quizzically. “He was the one who convinced Kane to let you come.”

Raven doesn’t know what to say to that, so she remains silent. She makes a mental note to thank Murphy later, which she’s sure he’ll shrug off like it wasn’t a big deal. But it was to her. It really was.

They listen to the waves for a beat before Raven asks him what has really been on her mind all afternoon.

“Why are you doing this to Echo?”

Bellamy doesn’t respond right away, instead taking a long, deep breath as if the answer is too complicated for her to understand. Maybe it is.

“You know it’s not fair,” Raven adds, when the silence stretches on.

“I couldn’t let Clarke do this with anyone else,” he says at last. “Just the thought…” he trailed off.

It’s Raven’s turn to sigh now. She wasn’t sure what answer she had been hoping for, or even expecting, but that wasn’t it. “Do you love her?” she asks.

“I love Echo,” Bellamy says.

“That’s not what I asked.”

Raven turns her gaze to back to the waves in front of them. Octavia was right, and she has nothing more to say to Bellamy. Echo is her friend—her sister. If he was going to keep hurting her, he needed to end things now. Dragging it on would be a punishment she wouldn’t even wish on Clarke, with all the simmering animosity that they have yet to resolve.

 “Nothing between Echo and I has changed, or will change,” Bellamy says, his voice firm. “I love her.” Raven knows that signifies the end of this conversation.

Murphy comes around a few moments later, saving them from a longer stretch of awkward silence. Bellamy sees it as an opportunity to leave, and makes up an excuse to go back into the jungle.

Murphy cranes his neck to watch him make his hasty exit. “What tropical insect bit him?”

“Me,” Raven says. “I brought up Clarke.”

From her peripheral vision, she can see him raise his eyebrows. “Just went straight into the lion’s den, did you?”

“You know me,” she says. “I’m not exactly subtle.”

“Don’t feel too bad,” Murphy says. “Bellamy has to know that whole thing is a mess. It’s gonna blow up harder than Mount Weather.”

“You really think he’ll leave Echo? He says he loves her.”

“Please,” he scoffs. “Bellamy has been in love with _Clarke_ since we were sent to the ground. He and Echo happened because Bellamy thought Clarke was dead.”

“Funny,” Raven says. “That’s what Octavia said to me this morning.” She leans over to rest her head on his shoulder, and he moves his left hand to support her lower back, his fingers drawing circles on the exposed skin above her waistband. She suppresses a contented sigh. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For getting Kane to let me out of captivity,” she looks up at him. “I owe you one.”

“Famous last words,” he smirks.

She narrows her eyes. “Within reason.”

He laughs, sidling up closer to her on the sand. “You don’t owe me anything. You haven’t shut up about going on a mission for _weeks_. You’re a real pain in the ass when you don’t get your way,” he says, choking back a chuckle when she jostles him away playfully.

“And you’re a radiant ball of sunshine?”

He tugs her back to him, placating her with a kiss to the top of her head. “All I’m saying is that I’m glad Kane agreed to let you out. You don’t need to repay me,” he says, and then lowering his voice to whisper in her ear, “Although, I wouldn’t turn you down if you wanted to sit on my face.”

This time, she shoves him hard enough for him to fall sideways into the sand, his boisterous laughter catching the attention of Octavia and Jordan, who are walking down the beach a little ways from them.

“Stop,” Raven says, pointing her index finger at him and trying to stop a smile from forming on her lips. She can’t help the heat that has risen to her cheeks. “We’ve talked about this. It’s counterintuitive to our end goal.”

“We can have sex after,” Murphy shrugs. “Problem solved.”

“Even if that’s true, I’ve told you it’s not my thing.”

“And I’ve told _you_ that I’m really good at it, and unlike spacewalker, I come with references. Just ask Emori.”

“I’m not going to ask her about how good you are with your tongue,” she hisses. Raven knows the three of them are really close, but they have to draw the line somewhere. But that line keeps getting blurred, even now as Murphy tilts her chin to steal a kiss from her.

“Fine,” he relents. “We’ll talk about this later.”

“We _will not_.”

A sudden faraway splashing sound catches her attention. She fixes her eyes on the dark horizon, squinting in the darkness. Murphy leans forward, as if that will afford him a better view. The sea is calm for a few seconds, and then… A splash and a flash of silver.

In the distance, they see what looks like a spray of water shoot up. Then another.

“Whales,” Raven marvels. “They went extinct on Earth long before the first nuclear apocalypse.” She nudges at Murphy without taking her eyes off the water. “Go, get the others!”

He runs off, shouting for everyone to come to the beach. Within seconds, they’re all staring in awe at the pod of whales. The mammals are too far for Raven to really get a good look at them, but they look huge even from the beach. She estimates they measure at least 40 feet—maybe even 50.

Right now, there isn’t anything she wouldn’t do to get closer to these amazing creatures.

Jordan begins to take off his boots, followed by his socks. He leaves them on the dry sand and starts going into the water. “If we go under, I think we can hear them,” he says excitedly.

“Jordan, we don’t know what else is in the water,” Bellamy warns, and his words halt Jordan from going further than shin deep.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asks, his eyes shining with curiosity.

“Did your father never tell you the story of Moby Dick?” Murphy chimes in.

Jordan scrunches his brows in confusion and Murphy waves him off, muttering _never mind._ Jordan opens his mouth to say something, likely a question, when they hear a deep bellowing sound. From all her studies, she knows this is not what whales sound like, so her initial musings that the sound the radio picked up could have been a whale song is extinguished immediately.

This sound does not come from an animal. Technically, it’s also not human.

“It’s a ship,” Raven says, realization flooding in. “It’s a ship,” she repeats, this time alarmingly. Because where there is a ship, there are people. And these people are whale-hunting.

She can make out the shadow of the large faraway vessel in the darkness, and her feet stumble back. Her heart races in her chest, panic and dread crawling up her spine.

They were safe. They were supposed to be safe.

“We’re not alone,” Clarke says.

Murphy begins to curse loudly, scrambling up the beach. “Fucking hell, the goddamn fire,” he growls, and it sets them all into motion.

Raven runs into the water and pulls Jordan back to the beach. He’s the only one not aware of the threat that other humans possess. When she steers him back toward the shore, the others have already kicked sand into the fire, extinguishing the bright flames. She looks over her shoulder at the ship in the distance.

“Do you think they saw us?” she asks.

“Maybe,” Bellamy answers, his eyes flooded with worry. “I’m not sure.”

“We need to go,” Murphy says, handing Raven her pack. “Now. I’m not risking it.”

The ride back to camp is the single-most anxiety-inducing event she’s gone through since blasting off from the valley with seconds to spare back on Earth. It’s a different kind of stress, because at least back then she had something to occupy her mind. She had a task to focus on.

All her mind can do now is worry.

She’s not sure who those people are, or what they’re like. She’s not sure how they got here, or how long ago they arrived. From her experience, people are hostile about their territory and willing to fight for their home. She’s not sure if it will come to that, but they have to be prepared just in case. They didn’t lose Monty and Harper and spend a century in cryo to die in this new planet.

Raven is sure about one thing. This changes everything.

 

* * *

 

They call an emergency council meeting as soon as they make it back to camp. They wake all thirteen members, plus Madi, as discreetly as possible. It’s the middle of the night and the last thing they want to do is bring chaos into the oasis they considered to be safe just hours ago.

For those who didn’t go on the mission, their bleary eyes soon turn wide awake as Bellamy tells them what they saw. When Raven looks around the conference table, she sees the shock in their faces mold into fear. It’s the appropriate response, she thinks. They should be afraid of their own race.

“Are you positive that’s what you saw?” Kane asks.

“There’s no doubt,” Bellamy says. “It was a ship.”

Kane lets out a long, tired sigh. Abby reaches over to rub at his tense shoulders. “I know this is unexpected, but this may not be a bad thing,” Kane says after a beat. “They may not even know we’re here.”

“If they didn’t, they definitely do now,” Murphy says. “You could have seen our fire from a mile away.”

“Let’s assume they saw us,” Clarke says. “The question is, who could they be? Or who are they descended from?”

“We didn’t see them. How do we know they’re actually human?” Octavia asks. “We’re in another planet on another galaxy. How do we know they’re not aliens?”

“They were hunting the whales,” Raven says. “If that doesn’t scream human to you…”

Her words hang heavy in the tense air. There wasn’t a doubt in Raven’s mind that the people manning the ship were humans. Who they were and how they got here? That was something she’d guess they would find out soon. But, she has a strong suspicion Eligius III has something to do with this group of humans.

“We haven’t seen any other camps or signs of civilization during our air missions,” Emori says. “We’ve scoured pretty much this whole area within a 250-mile radius.”

They all look up as Diyoza begins to rise from the table. She places a hand on her pregnant belly for support as she pushes herself up. “We should talk to Shaw,” she says, her voice sounding tired. “I think he’ll be able to help us.”

Abby scrambles to her feet as Diyoza stands fully, laying a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll get him,” she says. Diyoza gives her a small grateful smile before sitting back down and sighing in relief. Raven can only imagine what is going through her mind.

The council sits in silence until Abby reappears, this time with Shaw in tow. She must’ve explained the situation along the way because Shaw not only looks awake, he looks a little angry. His eyes meet hers briefly before she looks away. She is still not over their last conversation.

Shaw takes a seat in between Octavia and Gaia. Knowing all eyes are on him, he doesn’t keep them waiting long before speaking.

“It’s Eligius,” he says, confirming Raven’s guess. “Or Eligius III to be specific. They were sent here to drill the planet for oil to bring back to Earth, but no one heard back from them. It was assumed they never made it here, but obviously, now we know that’s not true.”

“Do you know who else was on board Eligius III?” Kane asks.

Shaw shrugs. “Never saw those files,” he says. “But my guess would be a combination of workers and scientists.”

“How is it possible that you haven’t seen anything from the air?” Indra asks, her tone scathing and accusatory.

“Maybe they’re really good at hiding,” Shaw replies. “Or maybe they live on the other side of the planet’s hemisphere. We haven’t ventured that far.” He suppresses a yawn, shaking his head briskly. “Regardless, now that they’ve seen you, they’re probably going to come find us. We’re not exactly covert.”

“Do you think the files my dad cracked will help us?” Jordan asks, and everyone’s eyes turn to him. “I mean,” he stammers, “he did find the location of this planet. Maybe there’s more about the Eligius guys on there that he missed, or that he didn’t think was important information.”

Bellamy nods. “I think that’s our best bet. Do we have the files?”

Raven shakes her head. “They’re still up in Eligius IV. But I can go up there and look through them.” She meets Murphy’s eyes, silently asking him to come with her. He gives her a slight nod, but it doesn’t matter because Diyoza asks Shaw to go with her. Tonight.

“Two genius brains should work faster than one,” she says. “If you guys can keep things PG.”

From the corner of her eye, Raven sees Murphy make a face.

“I should go too,” Jordan insists. “It was my dad who opened those files.”

“Were you with him?”

He shakes his head. “Then you stay here, Green,” Diyoza says. Her eyes flit between Raven and Shaw. “You guys should get going.”

Raven rises from the table and exits the tent with Shaw at her heels. It’s not exactly the person she would like to spend the next couple of hours with, but she also knows they’re the most qualified people for the task. Diyoza is right: it’ll be quicker if they work together. But that’s all they’ll be doing together.

She feels someone grasp her elbow lightly and stop her in her tracks. Shaw stops too, but seeing Murphy, he only nods in recognition and continues on to the transport ship. Raven observes as Murphy watches him go, but it’s too dark for her to fully read his expression. At first she thinks he’s eyeing him with jealousy, but that has to be wrong. Murphy has absolutely nothing to be jealous of.

“What’s up?” she asks, and he finally turns to face her, his hand cradling her elbow. “We’re kind of in a time crunch, Murphy.”

“I didn’t want you to go before we talked about this.”

She raises her eyebrows. “About me leaving with Shaw?”

“About the baby, smartass.”

Raven sighs, and she’s lost count of how many times she has done so tonight. “We don’t know—”

“But there’s a good chance,” he interrupts.

And he’s right. In fact, if she wasn’t pregnant, she’d be shocked. But right now is not the time to dwell on this. For all she knows, they’re on the brink of another turf war— _one they could lose_ —and even if she’s carrying their child, it won’t ever be born.

“Let’s cross that bridge when we get to it,” she says, reaching up to hold his jaw in her hand.

They don’t say goodbye. In their world, saying goodbye is a trigger for long separations.

Shaw doesn’t say anything when she straps herself down in the seat next to him, and she offers him nothing. Though her mind is racing with all that has gone on in just a few short hours, she pushes all those thought to the wayside to focus on the task at hand.

The zero-G force of taking off this planet into space feels foreign despite all the take-offs she’s experienced in her lifetime. After landing on this two-sun planet, she never thought she would feel this again.

Eligius IV is the definition of a ghost ship. She didn’t foresee the pain that washes over her when they walk around its hallowed halls. This is where Monty and Harper spent their life. This is where Jordan grew up. This is where Monty and Harper chose to die. She’s seen the video Monty left behind for Bellamy and Clarke, and if she closes her eyes, she swears she can hear Harper’s laughter flood down the hall.

More than a century has gone by since Monty and Harper died. But to her, it still seems like only yesterday they were all drinking algae on the Ring, wistfully wishing for solid food and cracking jokes at everyone’s expense.

Despite the circumstances, living on the Ring was one of the happiest times of her life.

She and Shaw are typing away at files in the control room when he finally breaks the grim silence.

“I’m sorry,” he says, startling her. “I shouldn’t have pushed you the way I did.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. But I accept your apology.”

Shaw flinches at her cold tone. She knows it’s a bad trait, but holding a grudge is second nature to her at this point. “You’re amazing, and I know you are well-aware of that,” he says, and she can’t help the way his words chip away at her hard exterior. “I just want you to know that I haven’t given up on us, and I hope you haven’t either.”

“Shaw, I could be having another man’s baby.”

He shrugs. “That doesn’t matter to me. Besides, you don’t know for sure yet, right? It’s not like you guys are going to keep trying now.”

“Right,” she answers, even though it feels wrong to affirm.

“I talked to him,” Shaw continues. “Murphy, I mean. He’s a decent guy. He said he would understand if we got back together.”

Raven puffs out a short exhale. “Murphy told you all that?”

“Pretty much, in between veiled insults.”

Sounds like him, she thinks. Her mind threatens to wander down a dark path regarding Murphy and their up-in-the-air relationship, but she shakes her head, as if that would help to erase everything. As if that would help to extinguish the panic of what lay before them swirling in her head.

Eventually, they do find what they are looking for. Monty pretty much opened all of the files for them, probably in his quest to find out the two-sun planet’s coordinates. Eligius III was comprised of exactly who Raven thought it would be: a handful of scientists, blue-collar poor souls, and an alarming amount of military personnel.

They radio back their findings immediately. Clarke’s subsequent sentence sends a frigid chill up Raven’s spine.

“We picked up an airship on our radar. If that’s not you, then I guess we’re about to find out who we’re up against.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meant to get this up last night! Next chapter should be up Wednesday :)


	7. Homecoming

It’s dawn by the time she and Shaw make it back to the ground. Raven inhales the smell of dew, a welcome contrast from the stark air circulating through Eligius _. You’re home_ , she thinks. The others are waiting for them on the ground and Raven makes a beeline to where Murphy and Emori are standing in front of the Gagarin.

“How soon?” she asks.

“Could be any minute now,” Emori replies. “We weren’t sure you guys would make it back in time.”

“We rushed,” Raven says. She feels Murphy’s eyes on her, and lays a hand on his bicep in reassurance. Everything went fine. He has nothing to worry about.

Suddenly, her ears pick up on a loud whirring sound. She looks to the lightening sky and sees a helicopter—or what she assumes to be a helicopter. She’s never actually seen one in person. The mechanic in her is fascinated by the motors on that thing, and maybe if these people are not out to commit mass genocide, she can take a closer look later. Or maybe she’ll just have to commandeer it to escape said mass genocide.

The helicopter lands a couple hundred meters away from them, and they turn away from the brisk wind its blades send their way. Raven grimaces as Emori’s hair swats the side of her face. Clarke pushes Madi behind her, and joins Echo, Bellamy, Miller, Indra, Octavia and Murphy in raising a gun.

Three people emerge from the helicopter: a tall, older man with piercing blue eyes, a gorgeous petite blonde woman and a dark-skinned man with glasses. They definitely didn’t look like the type to commit mass genocide, despite being armed. Even with weapons aimed at them, they don’t make a move to draw their own. In fact, they are _smiling_.

“Hello,” the blue-eyed man greets, obviously the leader. “We mean you no harm.” He holds his hands in the air, and the other two follow suit. “My name is Russell. This is Eleanor and Teddy.”

“Guns,” Octavia spits out. “Drop them.”

The three of them slowly take their weapons out of their holsters and drop them on the grass. “That’s all we have,” Russell says.

Slowly, cautiously, guns are lowered on their side as well.

“Is there somewhere we can talk?” Russell asks. “You have no idea how long we’ve been waiting for you.”

Raven furrows her brow. Waiting for them? It dawns on her then. They think they’re part of Eligius. And why wouldn’t they? Their camp is littered with the company’s supplies. Jordan is wearing a damn shirt with the word Eligius on his breast.

They escort the three strangers to the council’s tent as discreetly as possible. People have started to wake up, and Raven sees their puzzled expressions as they pass by.

Kane invites them to take a seat. Raven sits beside Emori, and Murphy chooses to stand behind them. He leans on one of the wood supports of the tent, hands in his pockets.

“You should know something,” Kane says to their visitors. “We’re not who you think we are.”

Explaining both nuclear apocalypses and the subsequent destruction of the only living valley on Earth takes a while, but Russell and his crew listen intently. They ask a couple of questions about what became of the Eligius Corporation, but there’s not much they can tell them. As far as they’re aware, no other ships were launched after Eligius IV, and the company’s higher ups either died in the first nuclear apocalypse or their descendants died at Mount Weather.

“You are the last humans?” Eleanor asks. Her voice sounds like tinkling bells with its melodic timbre.

“Yes,” Kane answers.

“Then you’re still exactly what we’ve been waiting for.”

Russell leans forward. “My great, great, great-grandfather was one of the scientists onboard Eligius III. We are the fifth generation since they landed on this planet.”

“You were born here?” Diyoza asks.

“Yes. This planet is our home. The original settlers named it Kainos, after the Greek word in the Bible for ‘new Earth’. They were supposed to drill it for oil to bring back to Earth, but after seeing the planet for the first time, the scientists couldn’t go through with their mission. It was so beautiful, and after what had happened on their planet, they couldn’t bear to do the same here.”

“How many settled here?” Kane leans forward in interest.

“Eligius III carried about 300, but half of that were military personnel and they disagreed with the decision to ignore their mission. They defected from the main group.

“What happened to them?”

“They died,” Teddy says.

Dread settles in Raven’s gut as she asks the inevitable question. “How?”

Russell swallows, frowning. “Not everything is perfect here.”

“That doesn’t sound ominous at all.” Murphy says.

Russell, Teddy and Eleanor exchange a loaded look. “Have any of your people disappeared without a trace?” Russell says, looking around the table. “Or returned with bite marks?”

Bite marks? What the fuck? Raven looks sideways at Emori, who gives her an almost imperceptible shake of her head in response.

Russell nods at their silence. “You’re lucky then,” He continues. “The _others_ haven’t found you yet.”

“What others?” Bellamy says.

“They’re not human, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Turns out, humans are not actually their problem this time around. The _others,_ as Russell refers to them as, are humanoid beings native to Kainos. They tower over eight feet tall when up on two feet, though Russell says they move on all fours, like apes. Their skin has a sickly gray pallor, with small dark eyes and razor sharp teeth. They live in packs of six to 10, and rely on their sense of smell to find prey. What do they sound like? Short, deep bellows.

“The sound our radio picked up,” Clarke whispers. “We thought it might’ve been your ship or even whales but. . .” she trails off.

“No,” Russell shakes his head. “Our sailors only sounded the horn last night to make sure you saw them.” Sensing the group’s rising anxiety and fear over these alien beings, he begins to calm them. “They typically strike at night. We’re safe now. Though, your people won’t stand a chance once they come. Trust me, we’ve seen what they can do.”

“How do we fight them?” Indra asks.

“You don’t,” Eleanor says sternly. “They have every right to be here. They were here before us. We have learned to live with them and are happy to report that none of our people have died from an attack for over two years.”

That didn’t seem like a very long time.

“We can offer protection,” Russell says. “In fact, we were hoping you would accept our invitation to come live with us at our settlement.”

Raven’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Just like that? As friendly and open as they appeared, she still didn’t trust them.

“You don’t even know how many of us there are,” Clarke says.

“Whatever the number is, we have the infrastructure and capacity to welcome all of you.” He sighs before offering more. “The truth is, our numbers have been drastically decreasing for the last couple of generations. In the settlement’s prime, we had over seven hundred people.”

“And now?” Kane inquires.

Russell looks to Eleanor, who nods at him. “We’re down to 157—only three of those are under the age of 25. Eleanor is one of them.” He squeezes her hand, a fond fatherly smile on his face. “We haven’t had a live birth in more than a decade. We’re telling you this in good faith. We have no idea who you people are, but we’re hoping you will help us save the human race.”

Saving the human race. . . Crazy how many times she has heard someone use that phrase lately. At what point did they just throw in the towel.

“We have 411 people in this camp,” Kane says, and Raven screws her eyes shut. That man has become too trusting. For all they knew, Russell was lying to them. “Soon to be 412,” he gestures to Diyoza.

“I noticed earlier,” Eleanor says, her tone laced with joy and almost reverence. “You’re pregnant. What a blessing.”

“Thanks,” Diyoza replies with a weird look on her face.

“Even more reason for you all to come with us,” Russell implores. “Out here in the open, you’re vulnerable. It’s a miracle a tragedy hasn’t fallen upon you.”

“We will need to discuss amongst ourselves,” Kane says. “Would you mind giving us a few moments? Miller here can show you around our camp.”

Miller nods and escorts the three outside. Octavia grinds her teeth, her eyes following them until they leave. When they’re gone, she turns on Kane in a fury.

“You can’t _possibly_ think they can be trusted,” she seethes. “I can’t believe you told them our numbers.”

“I think they’re being honest,” Kane says, defending himself. “I see no holes in their story.”

“We don’t know enough about Eligius to spot those holes.”

Ravens rubs at her temples. “I agree, Kane. That was stupid.”

“Stop,” Clarke says, trying to prevent anything from escalating. “We may not know enough about Eligius, but we know that the sound they described is exactly what we heard on the radio. They looked _scared_ when they talked about the others. I don’t think it’s worth the risk.”

They consider her point, but Raven is still not convinced, and she can tell by Emori’s face that she isn’t either. She would be okay to establish some sort of relationship with these people, but to move everyone into their settlement in an unknown location? That seems outrageous.

“We have guns,” Murphy points out.

Bellamy shakes his head. “No,” he says. “Monty wanted us to be good. To be better.”

“Sorry but I don’t think saving ET is what he had in mind.”

It becomes devastatingly clear that the council is in complete disagreement. Arguments give way to shouts and insults, and it’s at that point Kane calls for a council vote. Shaw, not being part of the council, is not allowed to have a say, and that pisses him off.

Murphy, Raven, Emori, Octavia, Indra and Echo vote against joining Russell’s settlement.

Kane, Abby, Bellamy, Clarke, Jordan and surprisingly Diyoza vote for joining.

The deciding vote comes down to Gaia. But instead of answering, she turns to Madi.

“I’m stepping down from the council,” Gaia announces. “Madi, you decide. No matter your vote is, our people will follow you as our commander.”

The young girl looks to Clarke, and then to Gaia. You could hear a pin drop in the room.

 “I say we join them,” Madi says.

And that, Raven thinks, is that. End of discussion.

 

* * *

 

She’s angrily packing up the meagre contents of her tent when Murphy comes to find her. He stands watching as she mutters under her breath about how stupid this whole thing was, and how she could blow up the whole pack of others if they just gave her a damn chance.

“You done?” He asks, treating her like a child throwing a tantrum. “I packed the stuff you left in my tent with mine.”

“That’s fine,” she mutters, furiously folding a blanket and pushing it into her pack. She reaches for another thing to pack, momentarily stumbled when her hand touches nothing but grass. Looking around the tent, she realizes it’s empty.

“I should have enlisted you to help me pack,” Murphy says, whistling in appreciation.

“Shut up.”

“Come on,” he says, ignoring her foul mood. “The transport ship is leaving soon.”

“Go right ahead. I’ll catch up with you.”

“And risk you commandeering the helicopter to run away? Fat chance.”

Raven rolls her eyes, striding out of her tent with Murphy at her heels. There’s already a long line of their people is waiting to board a massive transport ship at the edge of camp. Murphy cranes his head as he looks around them, presumably for Emori, she thinks. He’d never leave her behind. They don’t have to wait long before the ship’s ramp opens and they are able to file in.

Two men greet them as they board, again all smiles. Raven finds two open seats and straps herself in one of them. Murphy takes his time, slinging his pack off his shoulders. Only when he spots Emori strapped in next to Jordan does he relax and take his own seat.

“It’s sweet,” Raven says.

“What is?”

“How much you still love her.”

Murphy looks at her then. “First loves,” he sighs. “You never forget them, right?”

A pang slices through her heart. She shakes her head. “No.”

They fall into a comfortable silence, watching as seats get filled around them. As they prepare to take off, he leans over to her. “For the record, I’m not in love with her anymore.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“After everything we’ve done in the past few weeks, I feel like that should be clear,” he says.

The ride to their new home takes a little bit over an hour. She and Murphy pass the time by whispering made-up stories about the people sitting around them. People-watching really is pretty entertaining. It also distracts her from the stress building up inside her. No matter what, she can’t shake off the feeling that this move will backfire. All their past attempts at assimilating with others have. Why should they think this one won’t?

It also helps to steer the conversation away from the topic they actually need to discuss. Their world has just been turned upside down, and there’s a good chance she’s pregnant. Eventually, they’re going to need to address that.

But not right now.

The pilot announces they will be landing soon, and Raven feels that low thrill in her belly flare up as they descend.

They exit the ship to find themselves in a field outside the beginnings of a densely wooded forest. Eleanor is leading them, Russell and Teddy having stayed behind to help the rest of their people and pack up equipment.

“It’s a bit of a walk from here,” Eleanor says, her voice loud so as she can be easily heard. “Please don’t wander.”

Emori makes her way over to Raven and Murphy, hiking her pack higher on her back. The three of them follow Eleanor closely. For Raven, the decision is born out of her distrust for this whole thing, but also because she wants to be one of the first to get a look at their settlement. They’ve been very secretive about the place, and her curiosity has been peaked.

The forest is made up of giant trees with a canopy so thick that Raven finally feels a respite from the suns’ heat for the first time in what feels like an eternity. The trees tower over them impressively, their trunks at least 30 feet in diameter, she estimates.

Eleanor must’ve caught whiff of her awe, because she looks over her shoulder at her and smiles. “Sequoias,” she says. “Our ancestors said they’re not quite like the ones Earth had, but magnificent nonetheless.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Raven says. “You could build whole space stations in them.”

Eleanor doesn’t respond, but Raven spots a hint of a smile on her lips.

After walking for about a mile, she sees what looks to be a tall iron gate anchored between two trees. Overgrown ivy wraps around the metal, so much so that unless you were being led toward it, you wouldn’t even know it was a gate.

Eleanor waves up at the trees. Two guards man hidden posts in the tree canopy and they start turning a crank. With a loud metal scrape, the heavy doors are eased open.

“Welcome to Eden,” Eleanor says brightly.

It seems the whole settlement is there to greet them, or rather “welcome them home,” as many express. They line up on either side of them with wide smiles, as if their presence is some long awaited gift. The warm reception is honestly a bit bizarre. 

One thing was sure though: Eden is rooted in nature.

The settlement has a few freestanding buildings on the ground, mainly small barn-like structures with pens of livestock and what look to be food stands. But it’s apparent the lives of the people of Eden are up in the trees.

Each of the large sequoias has double-doors at its base, which must lead to some sort of indoor staircase or elevator to reach the numerous tree houses they hold up. Raven counts 10 on each side of the trees. She understands at once how Shaw missed them— they’re completely covered by the tree canopy.

Eleanor leads them to an area set up with tables. Their guns are placed into bins—no weapons allowed in Eden, Eleanor tells them. She splits the group up between families, couples and what she calls “singles,” each directed to a corresponding table to receive their housing assignment.

“Couples are eligible for a family unit,” she explains to Raven, Murphy and Emori as people shuffle themselves in lines. “Those are larger than these,” she points upward to the tree houses near them. “These singles units each sleep two, and we separate by gender.” Again, she flashes a friendly smile at them. “Russell asked me to give tours to members of your council, that way you guys can really get to know Eden.”

Murphy flicks his eyes to the long housing lines, and Eleanor giggles. “I promise we have more than enough rooms,” she says. “Besides, they start from the bottom up. Take it from me—the best rooms are at the top.”

There’s a flirty look in Eleanor’s eyes that irritates Raven. The perky blonde is looking at Murphy like he’s the finest specimen on this planet, and Raven struggles to not roll her eyes.

Regardless, they accept her offer for a tour, because once again, curiosity trumps all. Eleanor takes them to the barns she had seen earlier, showing how they have domesticated animals. She points to an animal that looks like a cross between a yak and a cow, with dull red skin. They call them thornbulls, she says, because of the jagged thorn-like spikes in their curved horns.

Eleanor also shows them a pen full of the wild boar-like species they had discovered back at their own camp and had been eating regularly. These don’t have a fancy name. They simply call them boars.

After looking at the livestock, she takes them to their hospital, a series of medical units spanning a trio of trees with connecting enclosed glass walkways. She points to various workplace stations—woodworking, blacksmithing, sewing, a huge greenhouse, you name it.

Eden was an established, thriving society. But Raven knew she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Call her juvenile or distrustful, yet she knew no one could really blame her. It feels like her whole life—actually, all of their lives— have been spent waiting for something bad to happen. For something to ruin their chance at actually being happy, of feeling safe. . . Why should this be any different?

At last, Eleanor leads them to the outskirts of Eden. Here, the tree houses are much larger, some seeming to have four or five rooms. But unlike the ones near the center of Eden, most of these windows are shuttered closed and their balconies are bare.

“These are the family units,” she says, a hint of sadness in her voice. She points to one of the smaller ones in a nearby tree. “I live in that one with my dad.”

“I thought everyone over the age of 21 was moved to the singles units,” Emori says.

Eleanor shakes her head. “Mostly everyone, but not me. My mom died a few years ago from red fever and I don’t want to leave my dad alone yet, at least until I’m married.” Her eyes flit over Murphy as she says that, momentarily distracting Raven from her brief mention of _red fever._

She bristles as Eleanor’s eyes rake over Murphy’s unaware form. “Bet you have tons of guys knocking on your door,” she says, aware of how uncharacteristically catty she sounds, and Murphy looks back at her with a raised eyebrow.

Eleanor doesn’t seem to notice anything amiss as she merely replies with, “There have been yes, but the number of viable men in Eden is slim, and I really want to be a mom.”

“Viable men?” Murphy questions.

“Most of the men born in the last couple generations are pretty much sterile,” she says. “We haven’t figured out why.” She signals to a freestanding block building on the ground a little ways ahead of them. Its large, with a pitched roof. The windows are boarded up and covered with ivy.

Adjacent to it is an old playground, rundown and forgotten. A lone swing sways slightly when hit with a breeze.

“That’s our schoolhouse,” Eleanor tells them. “School hasn’t been in session for over 20 years. I didn’t even go here. It was already closed by then.”

“No kids?” Murphy asks.

“No kids.”

They knew that already, of course. But seeing the reality up close. . . It was unsettling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank you all for your amazing support for this story! I love coming home and seeing reviews and kudos <3 You guys are the best :)


	8. One step forward, two steps back

There’s no line to sign up for housing when they get back to Eden’s main square. Their people are still milling about, emotions buzzing in the air. She hears some marvel at the tree structures surrounding them. Others speak in hushed voices, their postures rigid and alert. Raven can sympathize with both.

Eden is an engineering masterpiece. But it’s still unknown.

Eleanor waves goodbye to them before she scampers away. Never in her life had Raven ever seen a woman in command be so chipper. It’s like she has never made a tough call in her life.

Emori’s voice interrupts her train of thought. She’s looking at her expectantly, and Raven realizes she has no idea what she just said.

“Sorry, what?” she asks.

Emori glances between her and Murphy. “I was asking what the sleeping arrangements are going to be like. Are you. . .?”

Raven shakes her head, and meets Murphy’s eyes. There’s a flash of disappointment in them, but it’s gone as he composes himself quickly. “I figured you and I would room together,” she tells Emori. “For old time’s sake.”

Emori nods, and sensing she needs to give them some space, starts toward the single females sign-up table. “I’ll put our names down then.”

When they’re alone, Murphy clears his throat. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not really sure about anything right now,” Raven admits. “But I think this is probably for the best.”

She can’t gauge his feelings. His expression is closed off, and in an instant, it feels like the intimacy they have created between them these past few weeks has eroded away. He’s not even looking her in the eye right now.

“Fine,” he says. “Whatever you want.”

Raven sighs, her shoulders sagging with. . . frustration? Exhaustion? Resignation? Maybe all three at once. “Don’t do that,” she says.

“I’m agreeing with you, Reyes.”

She bites her lip, confusing emotions swirling inside of her. She wants nothing more right now than to turn back the clock—go back to lazy mornings in his tent, his arms wrapped around her middle after sex, and their only thoughts were on creating a new life in this world.

Nothing has ever been simple in their lives. She is under no illusion that what they were doing was normal. But she got used to it.

“Who are you going to. . . ?”

Murphy shrugs. “I’ll find someone. I’m sure whoever it ends up being won’t be as irritating as you are when you don’t get your way.”

That draws a smile to her lips. “I always get my way.”

He snorts. “There’s a reason for that.”

She ignores him.

 

* * *

 

Echo arrives on the second transport ship, along with Shaw, Jordan, Gaia and Indra. They’re given a tour of Eden by Teddy—who unlike Eleanor—doesn’t do chatter. As they walk away, Raven can faintly pick up on his no-nonsense explanations of the settlement, pointing vaguely when only absolutely necessary.

She wants to talk to Echo, but pulling her away from learning about where they will be living in doesn’t seem fair. So she decides to wait until they get back. She’s already dropped off her bags in her unit, which is impressive. She actually gets a real bed to sleep in.

While she waits, despite her better judgement, Raven goes to find Eleanor. There a million questions in her head about Eden, and she’s probably her best bet at getting answers.

She spots her at the edge of the main square, talking to an older couple. Her hand is on the elderly woman’s shoulder, as if reassuring them. Raven’s gait isn’t exactly surreptitious though, and the three of them look up as she approaches. The elderly woman smiles at her warmly, but her husband eyes rove over her warily. It dawns of her then that some of people from Eden could be just as apprehensive of them as her people are. Surely, getting an influx of over 400 strangers to their home is alarming, at best.

Raven waves to the couple, trying her best to seem friendly and unassuming. Then, she turns to Eleanor. “Do you have a minute? I have some questions about Eden.”

Eleanor’s eyes light up, seeming pleased that she’s taken an interest. “Of course,” she says. “I’ll see you both in a bit, okay?” she tells the couple, who nods in response.

After they leave them alone, Eleanor turns her attention back to Raven. “Sorry, those are my grandparents. Change is always a little overwhelming for them,” she says. “What can I help you with?”

 _Grandparents_. . . Right, they’ve been living in peace for generations. There’s no reason why there she wouldn’t have grandparents, or even great-grandparents if they lived long enough.

“I was just wondering about how Eden is governed,” Raven says. “And how and if any of that’ll change when all of our people are here.”

The question doesn’t catch Eleanor off-guard. She appears to have been expecting it. “Well,” she begins. “We elect a governor every four years, like back on Earth. The change is we’ve gotten rid of term limits and political parties. That governor then chooses a cabinet.”

The cabinet, she explains, is made up of four members. She and Teddy, along with two others, make up Russell’s cabinet. Russell has been in office coming on 10 years. The next election will be held in two years.

“To answer the last half of your question,” Eleanor continues, “I think Russell will replace two of us with two of you. As a show of goodwill.”

Raven nods, taking all the information in. “Why are you on the cabinet?” she asks, and then, realizing how rude that sounds, she tries to apologize, but Eleanor waves her off with a good-natured smile.

“It’s a fair question,” she says. “I’m a five-foot young woman—I don’t exactly exude radiate political prowess,” she laughs, and Raven joins her.

After a beat, Eleanor shrugs. “When my mom died six years ago, Russell offered me her place on the cabinet. I took it.” As if shaking off the sadness, she does a little peppy jig with her shoulders and in a singsong voice adds, “Plus, all those boys need a woman to keep them in check.”

Again, Raven finds herself laughing. Eleanor is quite the character. A little annoying sometimes—but harmless.

 

* * *

 

The last transport ship arrives shortly after nightfall. And unlike the other groups that came before, these people are spooked.

They don’t sport the same looks of apprehension and awe as each group before them. In fact, some of them arrive in bloodstained clothing and holding each other up. A silence falls upon the main square of Eden as they flood inside the gates.

Raven looks around, and a lot of the Eden folks appear as though they feel bad for them, like they kow what just happened to them.

One of the first people Raven sees is Bellamy, and she makes a beeline toward him.

 “What happened?” she asks, her eyes tracing the deep scratches on his bicep, his shirt torn. Those would surely leave a mark. His clothing is dotted with what appears to be blue ink. A foul smell faintly emits from him, and she wrinkles her nose.

Bellamy takes her arm, steering her away from the crowds. Clarke and Octavia see them, joining them off to the side.

“We saw them,” he says. “The _others._ ”

He tells her they arrived at camp just as the last of their people were filing inside the transport ship. He, Clarke and Octavia were the last to board, and had to fend off a handful of them. They didn’t lose anyone, but some of their people were seriously wounded. Raven sees a few of stretchers being carried to the hospital.

“It’s like Russell found us just on the brink of time,” Octavia says, hair dripping in the blue substance. “If that doesn’t scream suspicious to you. . .” Her clothes are absolutely soaked through, and the decomposing smell makes Raven gag. “Sorry,” Octavia says half-heartedly. “I didn’t think it was that bad. Must be a pregnancy thing.”

“I’m not pregnant,” Raven insists, covering her nose with the back of her hand.

“They’re like nothing we’ve seen before,” Clarke interjects. “The reapers are nothing compared to these creatures.”

“She’s right,” Bellamy says. “They’re lethal. I don’t understand how these people have lived with them for so long.”

“Did you miss the giant iron gate, big brother?” Octavia says. “Or the tree houses? Something tells me they’ve had a few run-ins.”

Russell approaches them then, and they all quiet. He offers a tour, but in the morning, since it’s so dark out now and Bellamy needs to go to medical. Clarke thanks him, politely but tight-lipped. Raven notices her hand on Bellamy’s forearm.

She needs to talk to Echo.

Later, at the welcome dinner, Raven finds her sitting by herself at a table. The people of Eden have set up a seemingly endless buffet of food for them, all of which was delicious. She ate with Emori, who is currently in line for seconds, and Raven doesn’t remember a time where she’s felt fuller.

Echo shoots her a half-smile over her cup of wine as she sits down. It doesn’t reach her eyes, and when Raven sees she’s watching Bellamy and Clarke from across the square, she sighs.

“Things are not so good, huh?” Raven says.

Echo shakes her head. “They could definitely be better, but it is what it is.”

Raven furrows her brow. “What does that mean? You’re just throwing in the towel already?”

Echo puts down her cup, cradling it between her hands. “He promised me nothing would change. Yet,” she scoffs bitterly, “here I am, alone. And he’s over there with the future mother of his children.”

Raven closes her eyes, frowning. The whole situation has to sting.

“We don’t know if she’s pregnant,” Raven offers, half-heartedly.

“I wasn’t talking about their little arrangement. I’m just refusing to stay with someone who doesn’t put me first,” she says, forlorn. When Raven opens her mouth to disagree, Echo holds up a hand. “You know as well as I do that Bellamy and Clarke are never really all in with anyone but each other. You saw it with Gina. . .Now you’re seeing it with me.”

Raven shakes her head. “That’s not true. I saw you guys on the Ring—you built something special. He loves you.”

“He loves Clarke more,” Echo says with a shrug.

Raven takes Echo’s hand, squeezing it to communicate that she’s here for her for whatever she needs. The situation honestly gives her a bit of déjà vu. It might have been centuries, but the Finn debacle will always be fresh in her memories, especially after reliving it all in painful full-force thanks to Allie. She knows exactly how it feels to be second to Clarke in a man’s heart.

“I hope things with Murphy work out,” Echo says after a long silence. “I don’t want you to ever feel like this.”

“It’s not the same,” Raven says. “Murphy doesn’t love me, and I don’t love him.”

Echo doesn’t reply, simply nods. Shortly after that, she excuses herself, and Raven lets her go. She recognizes that Echo needs to be alone.

Murphy finds her quickly after that and sits beside her. He rubs his stomach and puffs out his cheeks, shooting her a cross-eyed look while doing so. Yep, she can relate. It helps to pick up her somber mood.

“I left your stuff on your bed,” he says, and she is momentarily confused until she remembers he packed some of her things she left behind in his tent back at their camp. Or rather, their old camp. “Emori told me what unit was yours.” He rests an elbow on the table and leans into it, cupping the side of his jaw in his hands. “I’m gonna miss sleeping next to you,” he says.

She lets a small smile grace her lips. She can smell the alcohol on his breath. “You still have a roommate.”

“Jordan’s not exactly my type,” he says.

“And I am?” Raven challenges.

Murphy smirks, shifting his chair closer to her. He takes one of her hands in his, tracing lazy circles in her palm with his fingers. Usually, she would pull away, but intoxicated Murphy is a _fun_ Murphy, and she wants to see where this goes.

“Let’s see,” he says. “You’re opinionated,” he fold down her index finger. “You’re infuriating,” he folds down her middle finger. “You’re ridiculously intelligent,” he folds down her ring finger, and finally, as he curls her little finger toward her palm, “and you’re brunette. Despite what they say, brunettes have more fun.”

She bites back a laugh. “All of those could apply to Jordan,” she says. “How much of that sweet wine have you drank?”

“A cup,” he says, defensively. He’s definitely had more than just a cup. “You should have some. Maybe it’ll loosen you up and you’ll remember I’m a much better roommate than Emori.”

“I can’t drink,” she leans in, enjoying the way his eyes fall to her lips. “As everyone keeps reminding me, I could be pregnant.”

He pulls back, nipping at his bottom lip with his teeth. “I hope you are,” he says, his voice dropping an octave.

“Let’s hope I’m not,” she replies, though his words spark a flood of heat in her belly. “But if you want a baby so much, you could always hit up Eleanor. She was eyeing you like a snack earlier.”

“I knew you were jealous,” he smirks.

“I’m not. You’re a free man,” she says, nonchalant. Or at least trying to be. “She’s a nice girl.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, she’s cool. Really perky though.” He fixed his gaze on something in the distance, or rather, _someone._ Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Lively music began blasting from the speakers, and at the edge of the gathering dancing crowd stood Eleanor. She gestured at Murphy to come to her. “So I guess it won’t bother you if I go dance with her right now?” he says, heaving himself up from his chair with a groan.

Since when does he dance? Raven grits her teeth and forces herself to smile. “Absolutely not. Enjoy yourselves.”

He laughs, shaking his head, before joining Eleanor on the dance floor. Raven watches as she lights up and the two began to move their bodies to the upbeat of the music. Murphy maintains a respectable distance, looking over Eleanor’s head at Raven like he’s conscious of what he’s doing. His eyes flash at her, and she remembers the dance they shared at their old camp all those weeks ago.

He winks at her.

_Idiot._

Emori swings back to the table, her plate piled with sweets. Raven snags a chocolate chip cookie out of her plate and bites into it harshly. Emori raises an eyebrow, and lets out a long sigh.

“What did John do?” she says tiredly.

“Nothing,” Raven says. “He’s dancing with Eleanor.”

“What?” Emori looks at her like she’s crazy. “You let him dance with her?”

“Do I look like someone who cares?”

Emori snorts. “Yes. Yes you do.” She takes a deep breath, exhaling loudly. Picking up a perfect sugar cookie, she points it at Raven before taking a bite. “You realize you’re letting this girl, who just hours ago told us she wants to be a mom, get jiggy with one of the most fertile men here?”

Raven rolls her eyes. Where did she even learn the phrase “get jiggy?” Must have been from Murphy, who by the way, hasn’t shut up about his “fast swimmers” since he found out. Literally, it’s become one of his favorite “fun facts” about himself.

“Since when did you become the biggest cheerleader for Murphy and me?”

“Since you’re brewing my future godchild,” she replies. She offers Raven another cookie, which she declines with a wave of her hand. Emori is convinced she’s pregnant, and Raven guesses it’s only a matter of time before they can confirm or deny her suspicions.

“Everything has changed,” Raven says. “That suddenly doesn’t even seem responsible.” At Emori’s slightly offended look, Raven clarifies. “Not you being the godmother, I meant having a baby right now.” She watches as Eleanor does an impromptu twirl in front of Murphy. “I mean, we just found out we’re not alone in this planet, and the scariest part of it all is that humans may not be our problem this time around.”

“Screw responsible,” Emori says. “Let’s just live.”

“I second that.”

Raven looks up as Shaw sits on her other side. Great. Just what she needed.

“Nobody invited you to this conversation,” Emori says, though it’s clear from the challenging half-grin on her face that she’s not telling him to go away.

“I didn’t know I needed an invitation,” Shaw says. He’s holding two cups of wine, and he holds one out to Raven.

Well, at least he was good for something. Raven reaches for it, but Emori smacks her hand away.

“I’ll take that, thank you very much,” she says.

Raven doesn’t hide her eye roll. If this is a taste of what being pregnant would be like, with Emori watching her every move like a hawk, well. . .She actually kind of likes it. Even though she would never admit that out loud.

“We don’t know that she’s knocked up,” Shaw says. He looks her over, his eyes honing in on her very flat stomach. “Or do we?”

“She’s definitely pregnant,” Emori replies confidently.

“I guess we’ll see.”

Yes we will. It was only a matter of time. One way or another, they would all know soon enough. And with everything that has just happened, Raven hasn’t had a lot of time to dwell on what she hopes will happen. Sure, she told Murphy they should hope she’s not pregnant, but. . .What if she is? Would that really be so bad?

Shaw extends a hand out to her, asking her to dance. She looks over at Murphy, who’s still dancing with Eleanor, and decides, why not? So she takes his hand, and that alone makes his grin.

She can feel Murphy’s eyes hot on them as they make it out to the dance floor. Shaw winds his hands around her back, one hand just hovering over the slope of her ass. He brings her close, their chests almost touching as they sway to the music.

He smells like cinnamon with the faintest familiar hint of motor oil. Despite herself, she closes her eyes and breathes him in.

When she opens them again, he’s looking at her like there’s hope for something between them. But Raven’s eyes stray to where Murphy is watching them, watching her. . . And she needs time to think.

Shaw leans in for a kiss, and Raven hides her face in his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can the season 6 trailer come out already? I'm getting antsy. 
> 
> As always, thanks for the support!


	9. Plus Two

The next couple of weeks pass by in a whirlwind.

Assimilating into Eden is. . . surprisingly easy. Raven is assigned to the tech hub, a modern, all-glass building on the outskirts of the wooded settlement. Her new co-workers are friendly, and insanely smart. They actually understand what she is talking about, and although it feels strange to not have to explain everything in layman’s terms, it’s also really nice.

Her day-to-day duties mainly deal with keeping Eden going, making sure power was running, fixing what was broken, and innovating new things for the future. It’s basically her dream job. She gets to tinker around with odd parts and see the core programming of everything in Eden.

She initially thought Emori would be sent to work in the tech hub too, but she and Shaw were assigned to Eden’s transportation department, bringing people back and forth from Eden’s outer work colonies—mainly to the bigger farms and the fishing ships. She’s only slightly jealous that they get to play with the big toys all day long.

Murphy was assigned to the blacksmiths’ station. He hadn’t been thrilled about that at first, but he found he enjoyed the ironwork. Plus, now he was working with Octavia, which he said kept things exciting.

“Who will she threaten with a fire poker today?” he liked to joke. 

As for the rest of her friends, Echo and Miller were placed in Eden’s security detail. Clarke and Abby were in the hospital. Bellamy was placed in the carpentry department, but Raven only heard that from Miller since they currently weren’t on speaking terms.

After what he had done to Echo, Raven found she had very little tolerance for his apologetic self-deprecating bullshit.

Kane and Jordan were sent to work in the greenhouse, which Jordan liked to say was _his_ house. He definitely got his dad’s sense of humor.

Diyoza finally has her baby, too. It creates quite the hubbub in Eden. Raven has only seen the baby from afar. No matter the time of day, a throng of people follow Diyoza to and fro, like a patron saint. In a way, she guesses Diyoza is seen kind of like that—after all, her baby is the first to be born in Eden in more than a decade.

In the evenings, she either eats dinner with Emori back at their unit or they eat at the mess hall for a couple credits. It feels odd to pay for things again, but she guesses it’s a small trade-off for living in civilization.

And if she’s being honest, her new bed alone is worth everything. She has never, not even in the Ark, slept in a more comfortable mattress. It’s soft and spongy, and Raven dreads getting up in the morning because it means she has to leave it. This is true love. Also, the unit is air-conditioned. It’s been amazing as the infernal temperatures linger.

But the comfort level of her bed is not shocking when you look at her new unit. It’s not huge, but it is roomy. It’s located on the eight floor of the last female singles unit tree, and the view over the settlement from her balcony is amazing. Everyone looks so small on the ground. She and Emori like to sit outside in the evenings when the air cools a smidge and people-watch. It’s very mundane, and very therapeutic.

Their unit is made up of two single beds pushed up against the far wall, with a small kitchenette and a table with two chairs on the left. There is a small couch in the center, and it faces a faux-fireplace with a space heater inside. Above the mantle, is a _TV._ She hasn’t watched television in ages. Of course, there’s nothing new to watch. But even watching re-runs of pre-apocalypse shows is fun. Plus, they’re all new to Emori and that’s been entertaining.

A door on the right, next to a dresser, leads to a small, but cozy bathroom. And that’s where she finds herself now—heaving last night’s dinner into the porcelain toilet.

Even though Emori is holding her hair back, Raven can sense she’s grinning.

“I knew you were pregnant,” she says smugly.

Raven spits into the bowl one last time before flushing. She washes her hands in the sink, bending over to rinse her mouth. Emori watches her through the mirror, looking pleased with herself.

“I told you the boar meat tasted off yesterday,” Raven says.

“And the day before that it was the rice,” Emori shakes her head. “And the day before that it was—”

“Ok, I get it,” Raven braces herself on the sink. “I’ll go get tested,” she groans. “I’m holding you personally responsible for this, you know?”

Emori quirks her head. “Me?”

“Yes you,” Raven turns around and rests her back against the pedestal sink. “You just _had_ to suggest I sleep with your ex.”

Emori laughs as she exits the bathroom. She slips on her boots and grabs her work bag from the floor beside her bed. “That may be true, but you guys didn’t have to be so thorough,” she gives her a two-fingered salute before leaving for the day.

Raven puts her hands on her hips and sighs loudly. Logic tells her she’s probably knocked up, and she still doesn’t know how to feel about it. By all accounts, she still wants this baby. Of course she does.

But the timing couldn’t be more terrible. Yes, she’s happy in Eden. But happy doesn’t mean safe. It never has.

She pushes those thoughts to the back of her brain, noticing the time on her alarm clock. If she lingered any longer, she would be late. Seeing as she’s going to ask to leave work earlier to get tested, she figures she should do her best to be on time.

Her workload is uninteresting today. Or rather, Raven just can’t find it in herself to work on something compelling. Her stomach feels like a bag of rocks, both heavy and empty with hunger at the same time. She had skipped breakfast this morning, and the smell of her co-workers lunch had her running to the bathroom to dry heave. The only thing she’s able to keep down is water and salted crackers.

The head technician lets her leave an hour early. At first he was a bit reluctant, but when she whispered that she thought she was pregnant, he did a complete 180. And he _blessed_ her as she left. It was. . . bizarre to say the least.

She hasn’t seen Murphy very much in the last couple of days. He’s been busy with his own work, and he’s tired when he gets off. Jordan tells her he usually goes straight to their unit afterward. She’s dropped by and brought him dinner a couple of times, if only to make sure he was eating. But it’s been a little awkward. Ever since the welcoming reception, Murphy’s kept his distance from her. His stupid little jokes even lack their customary bite.

The blacksmiths’ workshop is a bit farther into the woods than she anticipated, and when Raven enters, the colossal heat hits her like a wall of steam. It’s still sweltering outside—a sign of summer she is told—but the workshop feels like the ninth circle of hell. The small group of men and women look up as she comes in, and in the last row, she sees Murphy lift up his welding helmet. He stops his work and excuses himself to a tall woman, which Raven guesses is his overseer.

He gently steers her back outside by her elbow.

“Is everything okay?” he asks. His short hair is matted to his forehead and his cheeks are covered in soot. She’s never seen him at work. Why does he like his job so much? This seems miserable.

“I’ve been having. . . symptoms,” she says, her words slow as she measures his reaction.

Murphy raises his eyebrows. “Like, _symptoms_ symptoms?” he asks, and she nods.

“I’m going to go get tested. Can you come with me?”

“Hold on a minute,” he goes back inside the workshop, and Raven rocks back and forth on her heels until he comes back. Only, when he does, he’s not alone.

The tall woman she saw earlier is with him. Without her welding helmet, Raven can see her coppery head of curls. The woman doesn’t introduce herself, but she does wrap Raven in a tight hug. The gesture is a bit much, but Raven pats the woman on the back. She doesn’t want to offend her.

She brings Murphy into their weird embrace, pulling back to look at them after a long minute. The look she gives Raven is one of pure hope. “Godspeed to both of you,” she says.

Raven murmurs a thank you and the woman goes back inside the workshop. Murphy is fighting back a laugh, so Raven shoves him playfully before they head in the direction of the hospital. “Man, people are weird about babies here,” she whispers to him as they walk.

Murphy tucks his hands in his back pocket. “Diyoza is like a goddess to them right now—they’re practically waiting on her and her daughter hand and foot.”

“I bet she _loves_ that,” Raven says.

A large red cross lets them know they’ve arrived at the hospital building. Like virtually all other ones, they open the glass double-doors in the sequoia’s trunk, bypassing the spiral iron staircase and squeezing into the small elevator. There was a larger one outside the tree, but that one was reserved for medical emergencies.

They stride into the waiting room of the hospital. She writes her name in the sign-in sheet and sits in the corner of the small room to wait. Murphy chooses to stand. He leans his body on the wall next to her.

“So, since when have you been having symptoms?” Murphy asks.

“A few days.”

He hums noncommittally. “And you decide to tell me today?”

She looks at him, annoyed. “Stop.” She knows where this conversation is heading.

“I just feel like I should be in the loop. It’s my baby too.”

“We don’t even know if there is a baby,” she says.

“Please,” he rolls his eyes. “You’re pregnant, and we both know it. I’ve come inside you every single time.”

“ _Murphy_ ,” she chastises. “Really?”

“What? It’s true,” Murphy says, his voice indignant.

A nurse chooses that exact time to approach them. She shoots them an odd look as her eyes flit between them. “Raven Reyes?” she asks.

Raven nods, getting up. When the nurse sees that Murphy is following them, she stops him with her hand. “Sorry, only patient and close family.”

“He’s with me,” Raven says, tugging Murphy forward by the hand. She stares at the nurse, challenging her to say any different.

The nurse looks surprised that. “Oh, okay,” she stammers. Raven doesn’t miss the way her eyes flicker to her left ring finger. Really? What is this? The Dark Ages?

She leads them outside to the connecting suspended walkway, the hardwood floors creaking underneath their footfalls. It’s quite amazing what’s been built here, and Raven admires the building’s architecture as they make it to the next tree.

They walk down another hall and to the right. The nurse drops them off in a small outpatient room that smells distinctly of rubbing alcohol. She instructs Raven to sit up on the exam table to wait for a doctor.

The wait isn’t long. Within a few minutes— mainly spent trying to stop Murphy from fucking touching everything—Jackson walks in through the door. He smiles kindly at them, and that helps to quell some of Raven’s nerves. She doesn’t know Jackson very well. He’s always been in the background—murmuring into Miller’s ear, aiding Abby when he’s needed. But it’s nice to see a familiar face.

 “So how do we do this?” Raven asks as Jackson washes his hands and slips on a pair of latex gloves. “Blood test?”

“Kind of,” he says. He opens a cupboard and takes out a boxy instrument with a rounded head, shaped like a radio, but white. On its side, it has a suction-like metal contraption, with a trio of hollow rods. “This tests your blood for the Human Chorionic Gonadotropin hormone.” Jackson places three sharp needles in each of the rods, clicking them into place. “Only unlike the traditional method, this will give us a result within seconds.”

“Will it be able to tell you how far along she is?” Murphy asks.

“If she’s pregnant.”

Raven jolts a little as Jackson swabs her arm with alcohol. “Sorry, I’m a little jittery,” she says, and he nods in understanding.

The needles don’t hurt when they enter her arm. They’re nothing but tiny pinpricks, and they’re in and out of her skin before she can comprehend that the test is over. Jackson stares expectantly at the device, and she and Murphy do too, even if they don’t know what exactly they should be looking for.

Then, a joyful jingle emits from the instrument, and a holograph of a big green plus sign appears above it.

“Cute,” Murphy says.

Jackson beams at them. “Congrats you two,” he says. “You’re six weeks along.”

Raven can’t say she’s surprised. But the wave of emotions that wash over her at hearing it said out loud are indescribable. Joy, fear, relief and apprehension all tossed into one blinding sense. She feels Murphy grasp her hand, kiss her knuckles, and that brings her back to the present.

They’re going to have a baby.

She chokes out a laugh, feeling tears pool in her eyes. When she looks at Murphy, she sees the mirror of unshed tears in his as well. They’re going to be parents.

_Oh god, they’re going to be parents._

Murphy looks away after a moment, turning to Jackson. “This is a good thing right?” The weight of his unspoken meaning hangs in the air. Raven really knows he’s asking Jackson if they’re safe here.

To her relief, Jackson nods. “Trust me, it’s better to have a baby here than out there.”

“What do you know about the others?” Raven asks, lowering her voice. “I feel like we’ve been purposefully kept in the dark since we got here.”

Jackson moves closer toward them, his voice barely audible. “Russell doesn’t want to create a panic, but the others are growing more aggressive. They’re breeding faster than ever before.”

“Do you think we triggered that?”

“Could be,” he shrugs. “But one thing’s for sure. We wouldn’t have survived much longer on our own. No casualties yet, but yesterday one of the security guards was overseeing a small seed gathering mission and he was attacked. The thing almost gnawed his arm clean off. It’s a miracle he’s still alive.”

“How do you know all this?” Murphy asks.

“I overheard Russell and the blonde talk about it as they were bringing the guard in.”

“Eleanor,” Raven affirms. “Have you talked to Clarke and Bellamy?”

Jackson nods. “I told her about it yesterday. She had suspicions, but hadn’t heard anything official.”

Raven furrows her brow. What was the point of including Clarke and Bellamy in Russell’s cabinet if they were just going to keep secrets from them? If it was to appear transparent. . . well, they needed to do a better job at hiding things in the first place.

The conversation immediately comes to halt as the door swings open. An Eden nurse asks Jackson to check on a nearby patient, and he tells her he’ll be right there. Clearing his throat, he walks to the counter to collect a flat plexiglass object. He waves a hand over it and it turns on.

“Do you have a data pad?” He asks.

Raven shakes her head at the same time Murphy says, “I do.”

“Good, I’ll just search for you on the mainframe and send over some reading material about the pregnancy. I’ll also start you on some prenatal vitamins. It’s best you start taking them right away,” he writes a prescription, instructing her to give it to the pharmacist in the market. “I also suggest you invest in a data pad while you’re there. They’re 50 credits.”

At this Raven turns to Murphy incredulously. “You spent 50 credits on a data pad? Murphy, we’re having a baby. We can’t just spend credits left and right.”

Murphy takes the prescription for the prenatal vitamins from Jackson. “I’ll remember that when your pregnancy cravings kick in, Reyes.”

Jackson smiles at them before they all leave the room. He heads in the opposite direction of them, disappearing into a nearby examination room. Murphy starts to make his way back to the main lobby, but stops in his tracks when he sees that Raven isn’t following him.

“I need to talk to Clarke,” she says. “I’ll catch you later?”

He nods. “I’ll go and get your prenatals from the pharmacy before they close. Meet me at my place later?” He looks hopeful. “We should celebrate, and you know my cooking is far superior to the slops they serve at the mess hall.”

“Hey, you’ve eaten those ‘slops’ every time I buy them for you,” she counters.

“I never turn down free food,” he says, and then shooting her a smirk. “Do you?”

He has her there. If he wants to cook for her, she doesn’t see a reason to turn him down. “Fine, I’ll come over. Just for food.”

Finding Clarke turns out to be a bigger challenge than she expected. The hospital doesn’t look that big from the ground, and it isn’t, but it’s winding halls and connections between the two trees have her running around in circles.

In the end, she does run into a blonde. Just not the one she was looking for.

Eleanor is surprised to see her wandering the halls by herself. She looks behind her as if searching for Raven’s escort, and frowns when she sees Raven is all alone.

“Hey Raven,” she says, slowly. “Are you lost?”

The way Eleanor is acting is a complete 180 from her persona during the welcoming reception. This Eleanor is cautious, calculating. . . It puts Raven on edge and at once, she decides she needs to seem as naive as possible. She’s not one to play dumb—she usually just pushes for what she wants and does so without blinking—but Raven needs to play her cards right with Eleanor.

“I’m looking for Clarke,” Raven says. “I have some good news I want to share with her.” Her hand travels up to touch her belly protective.

Eleanor stiffens. She looks at her hand and then back at her. “You’re pregnant?”

Raven nods, smiling, hoping she looks the part of a happy expectant mother.

Before she knows it, Eleanor has crossed the distance between them and wraps her up in a tight embrace, one Raven would describe as a bear hug if Eleanor wasn’t so tiny. “Oh my god,” Eleanor says, her voice laced with emotion. “You guys really are a blessing.”

Eleanor pulls back to look at Raven, and gone were all the traces of weirdness that were just there moments ago. She’s excited—her eyes are glassy with tears.

“How far along are you? Who’s the father?” She smacks her face with her palm. “I’m sorry, that is probably personal.”

“No, it’s okay,” Raven says with a soft laugh. “I’m six weeks along. . . And the father is Murphy.”

Eleanor face falls for a split second before she composes herself and plasters on a big, wide grin. “Oh,” she says. “I didn’t know you two were—”

“It’s complicated.” A part of her feels a teensy bit bad about exaggerating her relationship with Murphy—he was a free man after all per their arrangement—but at the same time. . . She doesn’t want Eleanor to think he’s fair game. He is, of course, but Eleanor doesn’t have to know that.

“So, Clarke?” Raven presses. “Do you know where I can find her?”

“Yes,” Eleanor says, dazed. “I’ll take you to her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me on Tumblr if you wanna chat Murven! My url is Jarleene :)


	10. Shattered expectations

Eleanor grows quiet as she leads Raven down the winding halls toward Clarke’s office. Raven notices her scrubs for the first time. She does look like the type to be a nurse.

Eleanor’s face is scrunched up, like she has been given a complex algebraic equation she doesn’t know where to start attempting to solve. A part of Raven wonders if Murphy being off the market—figuratively speaking of course—has thrown her off so much that it’s made her at a loss of words. She knows she shouldn’t go there, but that doesn’t mean she won’t.

“Are you and Murphy close?” She asks, and Eleanor winces a little like she knew the question was coming. “You looked so surprised to learn he and I are having a baby.”

Eleanor chews on the inside of her cheek before answering. “I shouldn’t be surprised,” she says. “Not really. He talks about you all the time. I just, was kind of hoping you guys were really good friends.” She smacks her forehead. “Sorry, that seems rude. I’m trying to work on my filter. I tend to blurt out whatever comes to mind.”

Raven smiles, amused. “Don’t be. I’m not easily offended.”

Still, Eleanor looks apologetic. “I am really happy for you guys.”

“I know,” Raven says. They fall into a comfortable silence for about thirty seconds before curiosity gets the better of her. She just has to ask. “So Murphy. . . What about him does it for you?”

Eleanor looks at her with wide eyes. “Is this a trick question?”

Raven laughs. “No it’s not. I’m just curious. Murphy and I didn’t meet under the best of circumstances, so I’m wondering what a first impression of him is like.” She hooks her thumbs into her pockets. “To a completely objective third-party, of course.”

“Well, he’s handsome,” Eleanor says. Interesting she led with that. “He’s funny, kind of crude sometimes. He’s just. . .I guess he’s just different from anyone I’ve ever met. I mean, you all are.”

That’s kind of a blah description, but Raven figures it’s probably not easy describing a guy you have the hots for to the woman said-guy knocked up. They’re just surface observations, Raven notes. There’s so much more to Murphy than what she described.

Maybe Eleanor and Murphy do talk. But it means nothing. Eleanor has no idea who Murphy is.

In a way, it’s comforting. It reminds Raven that the intimacy she and Murphy have shared is not to be taken for granted. And she doesn’t. Not by a long shot.

At last, Eleanor drops her off outside a closed door. There’s a stack of medical files on the mail slot on the wall. Raven knocks lightly before opening the door.

Clarke looks up from her desk, casually closing a folder and covering it with her hands. “Raven? What are you doing here?”

Eleanor nods once. “I’ll leave you guys to it.”

Raven shuffles into the small room, barely bigger than a janitor’s closet. She struggles to close the door behind her, sitting down on a chair next to Clarke’s desk before kicking it shut with her foot.

“Grand accommodations you have here.”

“It’s quiet,” Clarke says. “I’m happy with that.”

Raven figures she might as well cut this riveting small talk short and get right to the point. “I’m pregnant,” she says. Her eyes look up from her lap to gauge Clarke’s reaction.

Clarke shuts her eyes, her shoulders falling with a soft sigh. “Raven. . . I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry?” Raven’s face twists in confusion. “Why the hell are you sorry?”

“It’s my fault. I encouraged you to do this, which in retrospect,” Clarke rubs at her temples. “We probably jumped the gun.”

Raven is struggling to keep her emotions in check. Lately, any conversation she has with Clarke leaves her feeling both annoyed and a little pissed off. And yes, she hasn’t forgotten the fact Clarke pointed a gun at her back in the valley, but also—how the hell does she manage to make everything all about her?

“Clarke,” Raven begins, swallowing back the sarcasm that her lips threaten to unleash. “Murphy and I are adults. We knew what we were doing then, and we know what we’re doing now. As far as we’re concerned, this is still good news.”

 She searches Clarke’s blues eyes for an indication that it’s not—that they’re not safe here. That’s really the only thing Raven is concerned with at this point in time. Now, she’s not just watching out for her own life.

“Unless, you know something that I don’t,” Raven adds when Clarke doesn’t respond.

Clarke’s eyes flit to the door, and Raven understands. She twists the lock.

Clarke opens the folder to show her a slew of charts, notes and diagrams. There are words like “humanoid” and “feral” scribbled in the corner of a full-bodied sketch of one of the _others._ Seriously, they need a better name.

Raven leans toward Clarke’s desk to get a better look at what Clarke has been working on. There are a lot of question marks on the pages.

“I don’t think they’re telling us the entire truth about these things,” Clarke whispers. “If they were, you’d think there would be more information available about them. Instead, they’re given the same treatment at as child’s boogeyman.”

“These are some ugly motherfuckers,” Raven says, focused on Clarke’s drawing of the being. They looked horrible—Bone indents visible in their stretched skin, teeth sharp and extending over their wide mouths. No nostrils, just holes. Their eyes, large black voids on each side of their heads.

“Can’t argue with you there,” Clarke says, a rare smile escaping her lips. “Something just doesn’t add up.”

“You know you can count on me for anything,” Raven replies. Disagreements aside, Clarke has always had her back in the moments of truth. “What does Bellamy think?”

“He agrees with me. The way Russell and the rest of the cabinet tiptoe around this subject. . .It’s suspicious.”

“Well, I’m sorry Eleanor was the one to bring me to you then. Her seeing those files. . . It could’ve cut your investigation short.”

Clarke snorts. “Eleanor? Russell and Teddy don’t tell her anything. She’s only on the cabinet out of respect to her mom. Consider her a non-threat, as long as she’s kept in the dark. She can’t keep a secret to save her life.” Clarke shakes her head, as if erasing a train of thought. She gathers the pages of her file back, and closes it on her desk. “Look, all things considered, even if Russell is lying to us about these things, we’re still safe here. They need us.”

Raven narrows her eyes. “Genetic diversity?”

Clarke nods. “Without us, they would die off eventually. Russell is not dumb enough to kick us out, or alienate us. He really does want us to integrate with their society. For him, your baby will be a symbol of hope, like Diyoza’s.”

Raven doesn’t like the sound of that. The urge to protect the life growing inside her is almost overwhelming.

“And you?” Raven asks. “Have you gotten tested?”

Clarke bobs her head, signaling yes. There’s a sad, glassy look in her eyes.

She’s not pregnant.

“It’s not going to be easy for me to ever conceive,” she says. “Radiation did a number on me apparently.” A lone tear escapes her right eye, and she brushes it away roughly. “Nightblood doesn’t fix everything.”

Despite everything that has happened between them, Raven’s heart hurts for her. If a physical heart could crack, hers would have a jagged crack down its center.

Clarke has given so much of herself for all of them. _She bore it, so they didn’t have to._

“It’s okay,” Clarke reassures her. “I have Madi. She’s my daughter in every way that matters.”

That was true. But still, her face betrays her. No matter how much she tries to hide it, there is a hint of guilt in Clarke’s eyes.

Raven can’t imagine what it feels like to be told motherhood would be a near-impossible goal to achieve. On the Ark, having a child was just a step almost every woman took, and it was either a planned move after getting married, or an unexpected hurdle if they found themselves alone. Infertility, even with the limited genetics on the Ark, wasn’t common. They had kept track of births and lineage from an early start to prevent complications in later generations.

But it hits her then that Clarke isn’t just hurting for herself. She’s hurting for Bellamy too.

 

* * *

 

Shaw is surprised to find Raven knocking on this door. Hell, she figured it was a day to get all difficult conversations over with it.

He invites her inside, and Raven casts a cursory glance around his unit. It’s a twin image of hers, sans the snoring man on his couch. There’s an old soccer game playing on TV, and it seems like both of them had been watching it (or at least Shaw was) before she interrupted.

Shaw sidesteps around her, leading her to the balcony, presumably for privacy. But while talking in the vicinity of his Eligius prisoner roommate is less than ideal, going outside is also a terrible option. Her back is drenched with sweat generated from simply walking here from the hospital. That being said, it is probably the lesser of two evils.

She ignores the way the heat and humidity smack her in the face when they enter the balcony. She perches herself on the edge of one of the chairs, and Shaw swivels his to face her.

“I’m really glad you came,” Shaw says.

Raven nods, acknowledging him. Just rip off the Band-Aid quickly, she thinks.

“I’m pregnant.”

Shaw licks his lips, a frown settling over his features. “I figured this is what you came here for, though I admit, I was hoping for a negative result.” Realizing how that sounds, he amends, “Not that it changes anything about the way I feel about you. I’ll love that baby regardless, because it’s yours.”

She swallows the knot forming in her throat. “Shaw, I. . .” Just say it, Raven. Spit it out. “I don’t want to be with you.”

By the way his shoulders hunch slightly, Raven can tell he knew this was a possible outcome of their conversation. It’s just not the one he hoped for. She opens her mouth to say something else, but Shaw beats her to the punch.

“Let me guess,” he says. “It’s not you, it’s me?” He hangs his head.

He doesn’t say it maliciously. In a way, that makes this worse. Being angry at him would give her an easy way out.

“When I kissed you,” she says, and his head snaps up to look at her, “that night after you stupidly stepped out into that clearing, I said I was mad at you for making me care about your life. That hasn’t changed. I still care about you.”

“You just care about him more,” Shaw says and Raven shakes her head. “It’s okay, Raven. You guys have a history that I’ll never understand, and quite honestly, probably never be able to top.” He exhales sharply, a bead of sweat crawling down his temple. He swipes it away. “I keep hearing you beg for his life—when McCreary had a knife to his throat.”

Raven is taken aback by that. It wasn’t where she saw this conversation heading.

“The pure anguish in your tone. . .” he trails off, his eyes fixed on the floorboards beneath them.

“I begged for McCreary to spare you too,” she says.

“Not like you did with Murphy,” Shaw responds. “It’s like you were the one with a knife at your throat.”

Raven doesn’t know what to say to this. So she stays silent.

Shaw looks at again, his dark eyes boring into hers. “What I’m trying to say is. . . I should’ve known.”

 

* * *

 

Murphy’s place smells amazing by the time she arrives. There’s a simmering pot of something on the stove, and the room is saturated with a savory aroma. Which considering all of her nausea for the past week, the fact it doesn’t make her hurl is an amazing feat in of itself.

Like Shaw’s, his unit is almost a carbon-copy of hers, except for the personal touches scattered around. She instantly knows which bed is Murphy’s as she walks in—even though people would expect him to be the messy one, Murphy was actually neurotically clean and organized with his things. It was Jordan’s side of the room that was strewn with clothing and had an unmade bed.

Murphy apologizes for the mess. Monty and Harper must’ve spoiled him, he tells her. The dude can’t pick up after himself. Raven smiles because she knows it drives him up the wall.

He took a shower before she got here. His hair is still wet and sticking up in every which way. She smooths is back as she passes by him.

“Food will be ready in a sec,” he tells her.

She settles into his couch and grabs his 50-credit data pad off the coffee table as she waits. Raven lies down so that she’s stretched out on the couch and waves a hand over the data pad like she had seen Jackson do. The screen comes to life and she exits out from the e-book Murphy had last been reading. Tolstoy, she sees. What a nerd.

She does find the pamphlets Jackson sent over already loaded in Murphy’s library. One titled, “Your pregnancy, week by week,” catches her attention and she taps on it, flipping through until she gets to the sixth chapter.

Her baby’s eyes, nose, mouth and ears are beginning to develop, she reads. Its backbone extends into a little tail and its heart is beating between 100-160 times a minute. Raven rests her hand against her belly, as if she could feel their child in there, but realistically, she knows it’s too early.

 “Did you know our baby is the size of a lentil right now?” she asks when he comes to look over her shoulder and see what she’s reading.

Murphy hums. “Wish I had lentils to add to this soup.”

She swats his arm and he laughs, sauntering over to the kitchenette and going back to stirring the pot. Raven gets up from the couch with a drawn-out groan, making her way to him. He takes an extra spoon and dips it into the stew. He blows on it lightly and holds it out for her to taste, his hand hovering over the bottom of it so as not to spill any drops onto the floor.

Raven’s eyebrows shoot up as soon as she swallows. “Damn, Murphy. That’s good.”

“I know,” he says, the cocky bastard.

She leans against the counter, watching as he tastes the stew himself and adds a few shakes of black pepper. “How did you learn how to cook?”

A small wistful smile appears on his lips. “My mom. Before things went to shit, she always had dinner on the table for my dad when he got home, and even when we were short on money, she managed to whip up something delicious. Maybe it was a bit antiquated, but she loved taking care of him—of us.”

“I bet she would’ve hated me then,” she says with a short laugh.

Murphy shakes his head. “Nah,” he says. “She would’ve loved you.”

Raven snorts in disbelief. Yeah, right. She was, in no way shape or form, a homemaker of any kind. It just so happens she has a well-functioning reproductive system.

“I’m serious,” Murphy says. “A zero-G mechanic with no tolerance for my bullshit? She would’ve insisted you call her _mom._ ”

“Why am I not surprised that you were full of bullshit even as a kid?” She hip checks him.

The stew simmers for another fifteen minutes or so, to let all the flavors marinate to perfection, he tells her. In the meantime, they sit at the table and talk. Not just about the baby, but other mundane things. She admits to him that his work conditions are a little worrying for her. He tells her there’s nothing to fret about. For some odd reason, he genuinely likes blacksmithing.

They dance around the subject of what their relationship will be like from now on. The initial agreement of co-parenting their child without any strings no longer seems as easy to keep as before. Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones, but Raven is feeling all the strings. And now that Shaw is out of the picture. . . Is it really so crazy to want this to be real?

Spending the evening here with him, in his unit, talking and waiting for dinner. . . She misses nights like these. And whether she likes it or not, she misses him at night terribly as well. She had grown so accustomed to sleeping next to his warm body—even in the dead heat. She misses the smell of his skin after a marathon of lovemaking.

Raven knows she has to tread carefully from now, because she’d be willing to do anything he asked of her. And that terrifies her.

So instead of dwelling on that, she focuses in the steaming bowl he sets in front of her. Her nausea forgotten, she digs in like a woman starved. Maybe, this will satisfy their baby and she won’t have to make a hasty trip to the bathroom later that night.

When they’re finished eating, she stands up to clear their plates. Murphy watches her as she washes them in the sink—she can feel his gaze. “What?” she asks without turning around.

He doesn’t respond, but she hears his chair scraping against the floor as he gets up. Soon, a pair of hands envelops themselves around her waist, picking her up off the ground. She lets out a surprised giggle, so unlike her, as he carries her to the couch. He sits down and positions her so that her legs are straddling him.

“I wasn’t done,” she says, but her words have no bite. She’s smiling.

“Fuck the dishes,” he whispers. “We’re celebrating. Let’s call this a last hurrah.”

Raven rolls her eyes, even as she feels him start a path of ardent kisses up her neck, causing goosebumps to appear on her skin like an overexcited teenager. It’s been so long. She really should tell him to stop. She has to.

“Murphy,” she says, her voice breathy. God, she missed this. “We shouldn’t.”

“We shouldn’t do a lot of things,” he responds, his voice muffled as he nips at her collarbone.

Then, the door to his unit flies open and in comes Jordan, who lets out a frustrated huff when he sees them. He covers his eyes with one hand, and holds up his other. “Can you guys _not_? I sit on that couch too.”

“Yeah, Murphy. Can we _not_?” she challenges, placing her hands on Murphy’s shoulder to lift herself off him, but he holds her steadfast by her hips. His flashing eyes tell her she’s not going anywhere.

 Murphy looks over his shoulder at Jordan, twisting their bodies in tandem so that he doesn’t have to crane his neck. “Ah the poorly-timed roommate,” he says. “Do you mind?” He shoos him away with his hand.

“Ignore him,” she says. “I do.” Then, motioning to the pot on the stove, she adds, “There’s plenty of stew left over if you’re hungry.”

“I think I lost my appetite,” Jordan says dramatically. He shuts the door behind him and drops off his work bag beside his bed. Raven takes notice the way his muddy boots track a path of dirt with him, and waits for Murphy’s outburst.

It doesn’t take long.

“Jordan, what have I _said_ about your shoes?” he says.

“I’ll clean it up,” Jordan says defensively. “Lighten up.”

“He never does,” Murphy whispers to Raven, his annoyance palpable.

She takes the opportunity to untangle herself from him, ignoring his sulking as she does so. She tucks her bad leg underneath her, propping herself up and resting her chin on the back of the couch. Murphy turns to her when she nudges him with her other foot.

“Should we tell him?” Raven asks, a playful smile on her lips.

“Tell me what?” Jordan asks. He sits up on the bed once he’s unlaced his boots.

Murphy nods his chin at her, signaling for her to go ahead and tell him. She lets the anticipation build for a few seconds as Jordan stares at them expectantly. He motions with his hands impatiently.

After a brief silence, Raven grins. “I’m pregnant.”

Jordan’s mouth drops and before they know it, he’s bent over the couch and hugging them both. Raven laughs, feeling tears well-up in her eyes. She can’t remember the last time she’s felt this happy, this secure. If someone would have told her a few months ago that she’d be here, she’d had laughed in their face.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” Jordan says.

He asks them a few questions—how far along is she, is she excited, do they know the sex of the baby. . . She tells him it’s a little too early to tell for the last one. Murphy informs him their baby is the size of a lentil right now, which apparently is more amusing to him that she initially thought.

Jordan congratulates them again, and asks them to come down to the mess hall tonight. There’s a community wide dance party tonight after dinner, and Eleanor wanted him to pass the message along.

“Thanks man,” Murphy says, “but I think we’re going to take it easy tonight.”

Relief washes over her. Thank god. Not that Murphy couldn’t have gone if he wanted to, but letting him go alone. . .That bothered her.

“Yeah, we might just watch a movie or something,” she says.

“Right,” Jordan says, a tone of disbelief in his voice. Yeah, she probably wouldn’t think they would “just” be watching a movie after what he walked in on. “Just keep in mind, I’ll be home by midnight—so make sure you guys are done ‘watching your movie’ by then,” he says, with air quotes.

He waves goodbye before leaving. The silence after his departure is a bit deafening. It’s probably the first time in a long time she’s felt uncomfortable around Murphy, and she knows why. And he does too.

“We really are just gonna watch a movie, right?” he says. She can’t fully read him right now, but she senses a twang of disappointment coming from him.

She bites her lip. “I think that’s best. I’m already pregnant, so—”

“So our biological transaction is over,” he says. He wears his trademark smirk, but it lacks the matching spark in his crystal eyes. “Never to be repeated.”

“Something like that.”

He shifts in his seat and reaches for the remote. Apparently, that is the end of that conversation. He turns on the TV and accesses the Eden mainframe. “What are you feeling like tonight? I could watch a comedy or a horror.”

“Murphy,” she begins, but he waves her off.

“No it’s okay, Raven,” he says. “Really. Everything is fine.” He sighs. “This is what we agreed to. We should stick with it.”

She moves closer to him, grabbing his chin with her hand and forcing him to look at her. “Jonathan Murphy,” she says, and he winces. He hates being called by his full name. “I would love nothing more than to fuck you on this couch, but we have a baby to think about now. We can’t make this more complicated than it already is.”

He groans, touching his forehead to hers. “Reyes, if you don’t want to make things complicated, don’t tell me you want to fuck me. I am a man of very little self-control, and at this moment, I’m also a man who doesn’t understand why we can’t do what we want.” He pulls back, his ocean eyes boring into hers. “How much more complicated can it get?”

That was a good question.

“I’d rather not find out,” she says. She snatches the remote from him. “I think we should watch a horror. You good with that?”

Murphy settles back into the couch next to her with a groan. He props up his feet on the coffee table. “If I say no, are you just going to play the pregnancy card?”

“Absolutely.”

He sighs, and despite his obvious disappointment that they are, indeed, keeping things PG between them, there’s a small smile on his lips. “It’s going to be a long nine months.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I meant to get this up yesterday, but the day got away from me. I have most of the story already written, but this chapter still needed tweaks. 
> 
> As a result, the chapter ended up being longer than normal, so I hope that makes up for the longer wait ;) Thank you all again for your amazing reviews, kudos and bookmarks! They make my day <3


	11. Facing fear

The heat continues on for the next three weeks. It gets to the point that Raven sweats bullets just making the short trip to and from her unit to work. The fact that her pants are starting to fit a little snugger isn’t helping matters, either.

At nine weeks pregnant, she can’t really see a bump yet (she checks every morning) but her clothes are definitely tighter. Having been pretty much the same size since her teenage years, and lost enough weight on the Ring to know how loose-fitting her clothes were when they got back down to the ground, she can absolutely tell the difference—even if she’s the only one.

Emori took her pregnancy announcement as expected. She hugged her and Murphy tight when they told her later that night after he walked her home and expressed her congratulations and excitement. She also insists they name the baby after her, because without her, it wouldn’t be in the womb right now. While true to a certain extent, Raven placated her by telling her they would think about it. Murphy had mouthed a very explicit “no” complete with hand movements.

Today, she and a group of others are headed to a spring near Eden to celebrate Labor Day. It’s a new holiday for her, pre-apocalypse era, and apparently it’s simply a day to take off work to celebrate the fact that they work? It doesn’t make much sense to her.

It also doesn’t seem very safe to be leaving the safety of Eden while the others are still a threat, but it’s a longstanding settlement tradition to visit the nearby springs. Russell, she imagines, is also interested in keeping up appearances. Cancelling the labor day celebration would raise suspicions.

And so they’re trekking through the woods to reach one of the illusive springs with Russell, Eleanor, Teddy and other Edenites. Eleanor says it’s beautiful, and that the water will feel amazing. At least that’s what Raven’s able to overhear here and there from her conversation with Murphy a little bit ahead of her in the trail. She finds herself almost squinting in her effort to hear what has them both so upbeat—especially since _Murphy_ is never upbeat.

“You both are idiots, do you know that?” Emori says, jolting her out of her thoughts.

“Emori,” Raven warns, hiking her small pack higher on her back. They’ve already gone over this.

“I know, I know. You guys don’t want to complicate things. Though from a completely objective point of view,” she says, causing Raven to snort, “aren’t you guys complicating things anyways?”

“How are we complicating things if we’re not having sex?”

“Because you both want to fuck,” Octavia says crudely, appearing at her side out of nowhere. “Seriously, just put the man out of his misery. The only reason he’s walking with blondie is because your shorts are hugging your ass like they’re painted on you.”

“Stop staring at my ass,” Raven says. “Also, my clothes are tight, because I’m pregnant and I’m getting fat.”

“Oh shut up,” Octavia says at the same time that Emori rolls her eyes. “And the fact that you’re pregnant with his spawn isn’t helping anything. It’s like a primal thing—Him Tarzan, you Jane.”

Raven laughs, despite herself. When did Octavia become so damn funny?

“I hate to say this, but Octavia is right,” Emori chimes in. “And you know it.”

“If I wanted your opinions on this,” Raven says, pointedly, “I would’ve asked for it.”

Octavia shoots her a sidelong glance. “No offense, but your romantic track record sucks. I mean, seriously, _Wick_?”

Raven’s opens her mouth, with the full intention of responding with a comeback. But she has none. Honestly, Wick is a mistake she keeps buried way, way deep in her brain.

“Shut up,” she says, at last and Octavia smirks.

In her own strange way, Octavia does cheer her up. The past few weeks in Eden, away from any leadership roles and heavy responsibility, have brought back the spark she had seeming lost during all those battles on the ground. She was not bloodreina, or the girl under the floor. She was just… Octavia.

Raven knew that she was currently trying to patch things up with Bellamy as best she could. But there was a lot of pain to unravel between them. And though Bellamy had ended things with Echo, Octavia was still hurting from the things that happened on the ground.

Bellamy needed time too. His little sister was no longer so little. She carried ghosts bigger than his.  

It’s not long before they reach the spring, and Raven has to admit, it’s breathtaking.

A tall flowing waterfall floods into a pool of turquoise waters. The spring is surrounded by giant purple flowers with petals the size of their heads. Birds of tropical colors fly overhead, their songs like echoing chimes. It’s a hidden piece of paradise.

She sits down by the spring’s bank as the others start taking their clothes off to jump in. From the corner of her eye, she sees Bellamy launch himself into the water with Clarke in his arms. Despite everything, it makes her smile. Those two deserve happiness.

Out of habit, her eyes search for Echo. She’s sitting on the shore with Jordan. Emori sidles up next to them and plops on the ground. She sees Echo give Emori a small smile.

After taking off her boots, Raven unlatches her brace and shifts her body gingerly so as to dip her feet in the cool water. It feels amazing against her overheated skin, and she sighs contentedly, closing her eyes and tilting her head back. When she opens them a few seconds later, Murphy is sitting beside her.

“Are you going to jump in?” he asks.

“Maybe in a little bit.”

He nods in response.

Since that night at his place, things haven’t necessarily been awkward between them, but they have been different. She can feel him pulling away from her. The intimacy that she had reveled in during their brief time together still hung heavy in the air between them, but it wasn’t the same.

It was like dying of thirst in a desert, with a full water bottle that let out only droplets at a time.

Murphy took hold of the bottom edge of his white tee, pulling it over his head. He folded it carefully and laid it beside her. “Well, I’m going in,” he says, standing up and stepping out of his pants. With a splash, he was gone.

She watches as he wades over to Jordan, sending a wave of water in his direction and sparking a mini-water fight between them. Echo and Emori cringe away from the spray.

It takes her back to that night in the river in their old camp. She recalls how the fish enveloped them in a flood of white light vividly, how she had smiled up at him. . . It feels like this happened just yesterday.

Her smile vanishes as she spots Eleanor on the other side of the spring. She’s sporting a silly grin as she watches Jordan and Murphy. She’s stripped down to her underwear too, like everyone else, and Raven can see her unmarred skin glinting in the rays of sun peeping from the tree bank.

Even from a distance away, her skin looks soft. It probably feels that way too—no bumps from raised scars that never healed properly, no darkened patches of skin, no hints of hardship. She was like a blank canvas.

She knows she shouldn’t compare herself to her. They have lived drastically different lives.

But Raven can’t stop herself from looking down at the inside of her wrists, at the ugly scars that Allie left behind. She thinks about the ones hidden by her clothes—where she was cauterized after she got shot, the holes in her hips from the bone marrow removal drill, the long cuts across her stomach. . .

It’s then she realizes why she has so many conflicting emotions toward Eleanor. She is jealous of her, but not about her and Murphy. That will never happen. Murphy is a walking posterchild for scars—both emotional and physical. He could never be with someone like Eleanor.

Raven is jealous of her innocence, of her goodness. Even before she plummeted to the ground for the first time in that tin can she rebuilt, Raven was never _good_ or _pure._ She’s been fighting demons for as long as she can remember.

A pair of cold hands grasp her calves, bringing her back into the moment. Murphy looks up at her from the water, his hair matted to his forehead and eyes reflecting the dancing waves between them.

“I changed my mind,” he says. “You’re coming in with me and I suggest you take off your clothes, unless you want me to do it instead.”

She kicks a spray of water in his face, and he sputters. But as he’s wiping his face, she obliges him. She takes off her shirt and wiggles out of her shorts. Murphy’s ready to catch her as she eases into the water. She loops her arms around his neck.

“Staking your claim already,” he remarks, and when she starts to untangle herself from him, he winds his arms tight around the small of her back, hoisting her up against him. “I’m kidding. Don’t let go. You’re a shit swimmer and drowning would be too mediocre of a death for you.”

“And then you’d have to drown with me,” she says. “You know, so I don’t die alone.”

“Exactly, and it would be such a waste. We need to go out with a bang.”

“A big bang,” she agrees.

He leads them over to Jordan, Eleanor, Clarke, Bellamy, Madi and Russell. She’s not surprised to see Clarke fraternizing with Russell. Keep your enemies close, and all that. Besides, Clarke is probably figuring ways to getting him to tell her all he knows about the others.

 “I hear congratulations are in order,” Russell says as they approach. His eyes roam over her appreciatively _—creepy_. Murphy kneels so that they slip deeper into the water, keeping an arm around her waist to help her balance. The water now reaches her collarbone.

“Thank you,” she says, hoping she somehow has masked her apprehensiveness. “We’re excited.”

“I can imagine,” Russell replies, his eyes crinkling as he smiles. “It’ll be nice to see children running around Eden once again. Diyoza’s daughter has been the most precious gift we’ve received in generations.”

“Wasn’t without effort,” Clarke says. “My mom and I assisted her labor. 17 hours.”

 “Talk about being past-due,” Murphy says, shaking his head. He glances over at Raven, as if to say, _I really hope ours isn’t a 17-hour birth_. “But I guess that was to be expected. Her bun cooked for over two centuries.”

Raven snorts, amused. That was the understatement of the year. Diyoza has spent almost 250 years pregnant. That has to be the universe’s longest pregnancy ever—disregarding the anti-aging effects of cryo. She can’t imagine what went through her head while she was in labor. Hope was probably the world’s longest awaited baby.

“I know it’s early,” Russell says, “and I don’t mean to put on any pressure, but have you thought about how many children you may have after this one?”

The question catches her off-guard. She hasn’t thought much about the future beyond having this baby, never mind the idea of having more kids. And with Murphy? That merited another discussion, which they can broach in the future if they wanted to.

Murphy furrows his brow. “We’re focusing on just the one,” he says. “Let’s see how much of Eden he blows up and then we’ll regroup.”

“Sounds like a foolproof plan,” Bellamy says, easing the awkward air. “Raven and Murphy’s kid is going to be a nightmare. You can count me out as babysitter.”

 “Seriously, I’m not incubating a mini-pyromaniac,” Raven says.

“True that’s learned behavior,” Jordan says, and Raven raises an eyebrow at him. “Don’t worry guys, I’ll babysit. He can spend his days with me at Green’s house.”

“It’s called a greenhouse,” Madi jabs Jordan playfully in the ribs. “Not ‘Green’s house.’”

“None of you are babysitting,” Clarke says. “You’re all terrible influences.”

Raven laughs. Talking about this, with so much ease. . .It feels nice. Plus, Russell is probably sorry he even brought the topic up because he excuses himself and goes to talk with another group. Adult conversations are a stretch for this lot, apparently.

Clarke shoots her a meaningful look. Now that they’ve driven Russell away, it’s clear she wants to talk business.

But not in front of Eleanor.

“Hey Clarke, I actually had a question about something I read about the baby,” Raven says.

“Sure, let’s go talk,” Clarke says.

Murphy reluctantly lets her go, and Raven fumbles in the water for a second before she paddles away with Clarke. They heave themselves up on the bank by her bag.

Raven looks around, making sure no one was within earshot. “What have you found out?” Raven asks.

“Nothing concrete,” she says, and Raven sighs. “I mean, I collected a sample of their blue blood when we were attacked—I got it from Bellamy’s wound, but it’s only a fragment. I need a live specimen to examine. Without it, I’ve hit a dead-end.”

“Were you able to determine anything with that fragment?”

“Only enough to know that, whatever the others are, they may have something in common with us.”

Raven’s eyes narrow. “Like what?”

“DNA.” Clarke eyes wander around the spring, and Raven sees that they’re being watched by Russell.  She smiles and waves at him before turning back to Raven. “Quick, rifle through your bag. Make it look casual.”

Raven pulls her bag closer, zipping it open and sticking her hand inside to retrieve her towel. Her fingers brush up against something cold, and metal. Her eyes flit down to spot the hard barrel of a black shotgun.

She moves it aside and pulls out her towel, trying to mask the confusion and alarm on her face. If she’s caught with a gun. . .That was a violation of Eden’s laws, and she doesn’t want to find out what will happen.

“What do you mean, DNA?” Raven asks, but Murphy and Bellamy appear before Clarke can answer.

“Somehow, I don’t think you’re talking about the baby’s DNA,” Murphy says. “Unless parentage is in question?”

“Of course not,” Raven says. She looks to Clarke, who nods. Bellamy already knows. Raven can tell by the serious tick in his jaw. “Lighten up, Bell—last thing we want is Russell thinking we’re conspiring behind his back.” She waves a hand over face, signaling him to smile.

Murphy sits on the bank with a long sigh. “Ah conspiracy. Music to my ears.”

Clarke explains everything she knows so far. How there are similarities between the others and a human—the shape of their bodies, their dexterity and movement. The fragment of blood she was able to extract isn’t enough for her to decode an entire DNA strand, but it does hint that it could be similar to a human’s pattern as well.

“What are you saying, Clarke?” Murphy says. “You think these things are some inbred result of Eligius III?”

Clarke steels herself. Takes a deep breath. “That’s a possibility.” She sees Russell wading his way over to them. “Let’s regroup later tonight. We need to get Emori, Echo and Jordan in on this.”

“And Octavia,” Raven adds, and Clarke and Bellamy exchange a loaded look. Bellamy purses his lips, and then nods once. Good. They’ll need her on their side.

When Bellamy and Clarke leave, intercepting Russell on the way, Raven turns to Murphy. Now that the needed conversation of the _others_ is out of the way, her anger hits her like a brick wall.

Raven beckons Murphy closer with her index finger. She opens her bag, and the metal of the shotgun glints in the daylight.

 “Did you know that was in there?” She hisses. He must’ve planted it when they met up at Eden’s main gate.

Murphy rubs at his face. “Like I was going to leave Eden without one,” he whispers to her. “There are man-eating aliens out here. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not stupid.” Raven rolls her eyes at that. No one thinks he’s stupid. Juvenile, maybe. Irresponsible, just a smidge.

“And believe it or not,” he continues. “I care about you, and there was no way in hell I was going to let you come here without a way to keep you safe.”

She closes her eyes in frustration. His affection for her was never in question—she knows how he feels about her. . .about the baby. But bringing a gun he’s not allowed to have on an excursion with the man who made them turn in their weapons? It’s dangerous, even if she understands why he did it.

“How did you even get it?” she asks. “They took our weapons at the gate the day we got to Eden.”

“I have sticky fingers,” he says. “Old habits die hard.”

Raven looks around, making sure no one is watching them, before she discreetly closes her pack. Her sudden anger dissipates like clouds after a summer rainstorm. She understands his reasoning for bringing one, and yes, it does make her feel safer.

Just as long as they don’t get caught.

“Do you want to stick around here?” she asks.

“You want to leave already? We just got here.”

 “You don’t have to come back with me.”

Murphy sighs. “If you’re leaving, then I’m coming with you. There’s no reason for me to sta—” He cuts off abruptly. “There’s no way I’m letting you walk back alone.”

She raises her eyebrows at his word choice. Letting her? She doesn’t need his permission.

But, she chooses to ignore that. No reason in getting into a petty argument. “I have a gun, thanks to you,” she says, instead.

“Listen, if you’re going back, I’m coming with you, so just let me at least get my pants on.” He picks up her towel from where she’s folded it atop the bank and drapes it around his neck.

Raven puts her clothes back on swiftly, and Murphy helps her with her brace, latching it closed securely around her leg. He’s lacing up his boots when they hear it. That sound.

Low, guttural, and otherworldly.

Everyone in the spring quiets, on high-alert. Raven’s heart is beating a mile a minute in her chest. Murphy takes one step toward her, singlehandedly opening the pack on her back and grabbing the gun inside. He holds it tight at his side.

Raven looks over at Clarke, who’s still in the water with Bellamy. Her eyes are scanning the woods around them, and Raven swallows. That thing could be anywhere.

They hear the noise again, this time closer. She tries to focus on the rustling of leaves, attempting to pinpoint the being’s whereabouts.

It all happens very quickly.

One minute she’s standing next to Murphy and the next he’s pushed her into the ground as a giant grey humanoid figure launches themselves at them. The air is knocked from her lungs as she falls into the hard Earth. Her hand instinctively comes up to cradle her flat stomach. She’s landed on her side and her hip has taken most of her weight.

Everything becomes a whirlwind after that, and Raven feels like she’s seeing it all unfold in slow-motion. Chaos ensues as people get out of the spring and start running back in the direction of Eden. It strikes her then that these creatures are said to travel in packs. More are probably on the way.

She hears a pained cry—Murphy. The other has ripped a hole in his bad shoulder, and there’s so much blood. He struggling underneath the weight of the creature, trying to keep its jaws away from him, and Raven scrambles to find something to get the thing away from him. She finds a large rock and doesn’t think twice. She aims it right at the alien’s head.

It doesn’t do much damage, but it distracts it just long enough for Murphy to shoot it. The bullet makes the creature’s neck snap back with its force, and it drops on Murphy lifelessly, blue goo pouring out of the hole between its eyes.

Raven springs into action and starts pushing the creature off of Murphy. It weighs a ton, though, and she’s grateful for Bellamy, Echo and Emori, who are a handful of the few who stayed behind to help. Together, they’re able to roll the alien off Murphy’s body, and Raven gets her first full glimpse of his injury.

 It’s gnarly. She can see hints of white ligament peeking out of the torn tissue. The wound is about six inches wide and riddled with deep indentation from the alien’s teeth. He must be in so much pain. Raven doesn’t realize she’s started gasping for breath until she feels a strong pair of arms hold her steady.

She starts hyperventilating. “We need to get him to Eden,” she says. “We need to go _now_.”

Bellamy releases her and bends down to the ground. He looks up at Raven, Emori, Echo, Octavia, Madi and Clarke—the last three which have just joined them. “Octavia and I will lift his legs. The rest of you hoist him up elsewhere.” He looks to Madi and Jordan. “You two, run ahead and get Abby.”

Madi nods, and she and Jordan take off running into the woods.

The rest of them gingerly carry Murphy, who’s still miraculously conscious despite all the blood loss, toward Eden in a manner very similar to moving a table. Raven uses her shirt to keep pressure on his shoulder, cradling his neck to keep his head from lolling toward the ground. The rest lift him up by his thighs, and strategic points on his back.

Raven keeps an ear out in case the alien was not alone, but the woods are silent. The way back to Eden is a long one. Her head is swimming with alarming thoughts, sparking up in flames each time they accidentally jostle Murphy the wrong way and he cries out in pain. In the forefront of her mind, repeating itself like an unbelievable mantra is a phrase she never thought she would say:

_He didn’t hesitate._

Somewhere in the halfway point they’re met by Abby and a team of nurses with a stretcher. Thank god for Madi and Jordan.

She and Emori don’t leave Murphy’s side for the entire time they’re making their way back. It’s only when she’s pulled aside in the hospital that she reluctantly lets Emori and Murphy go. He’s taken in through some double doors, and she loses sight of them.

Her mind doesn’t even register that another human is talking to her until Jackson snaps his fingers in front of her face.

“Raven, I need to run some tests,” he says. “Murphy will be fine. Abby’s got him.”

She furrows her brow. “Tests?”

“Russell told us you fell during the incident. I need to make sure the baby is okay.”

“I’m fine,” she insists. “I landed on my hip. The worst thing that’ll happen is I get a big bruise.”

“I’m sure that’s true, but we still need to run tests. Russell’s orders.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all had a great holiday!


	12. Ellipsis

She swings her legs back and forth while perched on the exam table. The tests have taken a better part of an hour, maybe more, and she’s ready to bolt out of this room and find Murphy. She’s still wearing just her bra and shorts, her shirt having been ruined beyond repair with Murphy’s blood. The rest of what she’s wearing is stained with the alien’s remains. Raven is trying really hard not to gag at the foul smell, desperately in need of a shower and a new change of clothes, but she needs to see Murphy first. She needs to know that he’s going to be okay.

Rationally, she knows he will be. But she still needs to see it for herself.

However, she understands why she was pulled in for tests. As strange as it feels to think about still, she will be delivering a baby into this new world in about 31 weeks. The minute she got pregnant was the minute her child’s needs became her top priority. And she knew that once she calmed down a little and saw Murphy, that her thoughts—and very likely his—would reflect concern over her fall.

She halfway hopes her fall was forgotten in Murphy’s mind amidst the chaos that erupted, but if it wasn’t, at the very least, she’ll be able to come bearing good news.

At last, Jackson comes back into the exam room.

“Everything looks good,” he says, just as she expected. “This was just a precaution, but please, let’s aim for no more accidents.”

“Hear, hear,” she says, hopping off the table and onto the ground. “Do you know what room Murphy is in?”

“Abby is still stitching him up. You should go home and shower. He’ll be here when you get back.”

Raven nods. If he was still being worked on, well. . .She guesses it’s okay to run up to her unit to clean up a bit. She can’t stay half-dressed.

She takes what is probably the quickest shower in the history of Eden—in and out as soon as she washes off Murphy’s blood and the alien’s stench. As she’s getting dressed, she spots the large bruise that is forming on her right hip. It’s reddish, and a little tender, but nothing to worry about.

Coming up the hospital’s lift, she feels more level-headed. That being said, her nerves still make her feel she’s one short circuit away from combusting, but she knows that feeling will only go away after she sees him.

A nurse leads her to a room at the far wing of the hospital in the adjoining tree. And it’s there, looking through the door that’s slightly ajar, that Raven both feels relief and a crushing sense of guilt.

Murphy is sitting up in a cot, naked from the waist up with his left shoulder heavily bandaged. He’s awake and joking with Emori, who’s pushed a chair close to him. Her hand is grasping his, and the visual gives Raven whiplash from the memories of their time on the Ring that it pushes to the forefront.

Emori and Murphy holding hands at mealtimes. Walking in on Emori and Murphy mid-kiss in the control room. Hearing Emori and Murphy trying to be quiet about their lovemaking in the middle of the night.

And now, Raven is carrying his child.

She could be what holds them back from being happy, and the thought terrifies her.

Now that she’s seen that he’s okay, she considers turning around and letting them have their moment. But it’s at that exact second that Murphy turns his head just so, and sees her through the crack in the door.

Raven forces a smile, knowing she can’t leave, and enters the room. Emori doesn’t let go of Murphy’s hand, and he doesn’t budge either. They look up at her without a care in the world.

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” she says, feeling a bit awkward just standing at the foot of the cot. Murphy gestures for her to take a seat, and she finally does on the opposite side of Emori.

“Come closer,” he says. “I need my two wives.”

“He’s a bit loopy from the drugs,” Emori says, amused.

Her words draw a laugh out of Raven, and she pushes her chair until she is as close to him as Emori. Murphy reaches for her hand, and suddenly she becomes the mirror image of the visual she had just witnessed. It dawns on her that maybe, just maybe, she has jumped to conclusions.

Also, what a picture they must paint to the outside world.

“I would say I’m a lucky bastard,” Murphy says, “but neither of you give me sex. Only grief.”

Raven scoffs. “Excuse you, my womb is carrying the fruit of your loins.”

“And I just helped Abby get that sticky alien shit off your body,” Emori adds. “I’d say, _if_ we were your wives, you would be, without a doubt, the luckiest bastard on this whole planet.”

“We’d make pretty hot sister wives,” Raven says.

“The hottest,” Emori agrees.

After a short while, Emori goes to their unit to shower and bring back food for her and Raven. Murphy had dozed off due to the painkillers he was given, and Raven curled up in the chair with a hospital data pad in hand. She planned on staying by his side, and as the clock ticked, that also meant speaking with all of Murphy’s visitors.

First it was Clarke, Bellamy and Madi, followed by Jordan, Echo, Octavia, and even Shaw—that was unexpected. He had expressed his condolences for Murphy’s injury, and wished him a speedy recovery. And because she couldn’t control herself, she asked him why he came. He simply replied that he still cared about her. He wanted to make sure she was okay.

Since then, her mind has given her a runaround. She can’t help but wonder if things could have been different between them. . .

Raven jolts when she hears a soft knocking. Thinking it’s Emori needing help with opening the door, she stands up and walks over. When she opens the door, she sees it’s actually Eleanor.

“Hi,” Eleanor says, a concerned look on her face. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s been better,” Raven says. “But he’s a cockroach—he’ll survive.”

It dawns on her that Eleanor doesn’t get the cockroach reference then, but it doesn’t seem to stumble the blonde. She shoots Raven a sad smile. “Of course he will.”

They stand awkward for a few silent seconds, Eleanor rocking on her heels as Raven stands in the doorway. “I would invite you in,” Raven says at last, “but Murphy is sleeping.”

And yes, technically their friends all went inside to see him. But she’s not going to tell her that. Raven has conflicting emotions about her. On one hand, she appears genuinely concerned about Murphy. But on the other hand, experience has taught Raven never to let down her guard with any stranger, no matter how harmless they appear.

“Could you tell him I stopped by? When he wakes up?”

To her merit, Eleanor does look worried, and Raven knows that despite her apprehension concerning Eleanor’s motives, Murphy needs all the people in his corner he can get.

“Yeah, I will,” she says. “Thank you for stopping by.”

Eleanor nods. “I’m sorry, by the way, if I did anything to offend you or caused a problem between you and Murphy.”

Raven cocks her head, surprised at the turn of the conversation. She wasn’t aware that Eleanor had done something that necessitated an apology on her part.

“We’re just friends,” Eleanor adds. “And every time we’ve talked, he always works you into our conversation. I know you said your relationship is complicated, and please stop me if I’m overstepping,” she interjects, “but that man really cares about you.” Then, with a small shrug, she says, “I just thought you should hear that. He needs you, and I think you need him too.”

Raven watches her walk away. Eleanor’s words swirl around in her head, juxtaposing her own feelings on her and Murphy’s relationship. They blur together, leaving her feeling confused.

She has always prided herself of being in control—of her emotions, her actions and even the situations she’s found herself in.

But this. . .Whatever it is she’s feeling toward Murphy. This has spiraled out of her control, and she’s terrified of what that means.

 

* * *

 

Emori does come back, but she only has enough time to drop dinner off for Raven. She and Shaw have been assigned to transport some of Eden’s scientists to monitor the nearby colony of the others. It’s likely the one the alien that attacked Murphy was from, and she lets them know the mission will last three days. Murphy, wide awake and grumpy from the ache in his shoulder now that the drugs have started to wear off, tells her to be careful.

Emori won’t leave the ship. She and Shaw are just pilots, but Murphy still worries.

Raven shuts the door and leans against it. “Did Clarke talk to you. . .?”

Emori nods once, solemn. “That’s why I took so long. She rounded up all of us. We would’ve gotten you but,” she trails off, looking meaningfully at Murphy. “You’re needed here.”

Yes she is. “What’s the plan?” she asks.

“While Shaw and I are getting ready to leave with the scientists, we’re going to create a diversion. Clarke, Bellamy and Jordan are going to sneak inside the transport hub and steal a rover. They’re going back to the spring.”

“To get the alien body,” Raven says. It’s a good move. “What’s your plan for the diversion?”

“That’s where we were hoping you could help,” Emori says. “What’s the quickest way to stall an engine?”

Raven smiles. Finally, her area of expertise. “Well, a little water never hurt nobody.”

 

* * *

 

Abby comes in to check on Murphy in the early evening. Though he was hoping to be discharged then, she informs him she wants to keep him overnight for observation. The alien beings from Kainos have a toxin in their saliva that, while not venomous, is known for causing severe allergic reactions in some humans.

“Great, I’ll have Raven call the nurses from home if my arm suddenly falls off,” Murphy says.

Abby ignores him, fixing her attention on Raven instead. “If he suddenly starts complaining about tingling in his fingers, or you notice a string of involuntary reflexes, ring for help immediately.”

Raven nods. “Can you give him some more of that painkiller that knocked him out before? He’s been extra irritable since he woke up.”

“Sorry, did you get your arm munched on like a turkey leg today?” Murphy scoffs. “No? Then no opinion.”

Sadly, Abby shakes her head. “That’s all I’m allowed to administer. Morphine is highly addictive, and Russell has ordered us to control doses to the absolute minimum.” She leans over to squeeze Murphy’s hand. “Trust me, John. You don’t want to grow dependent.” She opens her mouth like she wants to say more, but is interrupted by a loud beeping emanating from her waistband.

She picks up the beeper, and she sighs when she reads its content. “I have to go. One of the elderly residents just fell in the west wing.”

Abby leaves in a rush, but not before turning to Raven. “That reminds me. Put some ice on that hip tonight, will you?”

She can feel Murphy’s confusion linger in the air between them as Abby leaves. They haven’t discussed her fall, and frankly, she doesn’t think they need to. Everything was fine. She and the baby are fine.

“What’s wrong with your hip?” he asks.

“Nothing. It’s fine,” she says.

“Raven—”

“I said it’s fine.”

Murphy lets out a long tired exhale. He seems to have dropped the subject and for that, she relaxes into her chair. But then, she notices him squirm against his pillows, and she sits up. “Is something bothering you?” she asks.

“I don’t know—I think something is digging into my shoulder blade.”

She stands up and leans over him, thinking it’s the cot’s remote control that has wedged itself in his back. But when she feels Murphy’s cold hands graze over her hip underneath her shirt, and pull the waistband of her pants down, she knows he played her.

Raven closes her eyes and sighs. The bruise blooming on her hip looks horrid. Of that, she’s well aware. And she also knows it’ll only look worse in the coming days.

“I just can’t seem to stop hurting you,” he says.

She pulls away to look him dead in the eye. “You saved us. That thing was coming straight at me.”

“I’m sure there was a way to stop it and keep you in one piece.”

“Stop being melodramatic. I’m still very much pregnant, and as far as I know, our baby isn’t gonna come out with a dent in the head.”

 Murphy bites at his bottom lip. He doesn’t say anything for a while, and the silence festers between them. “Does it hurt?” he asks, at last.

She shakes her head. “No,” she says. “Not like. . .” Not like if I’d lost you, she thinks. “Not like getting strewn around like a chew toy, I’m sure.”

He must see something in her eyes—Murphy has always been better at reading her compared to her reading him. He reaches for her hand, his thumb drawing soothing circles on the inside of her wrist. “Reyes, can you go put some ice on that?” he asks, looking up at her. “Please?”

Raven lets a soft smile graze her lips. What she desperately wants to do at this very moment is crawl into Murphy’s cot and rest her head atop his heart. She wants to be lulled to sleep by the steady rhythm in his chest, by the rise and fall of his breathing. She wants it so much her insides hurt.

Instead, she brings her lips to his forehead, fingers brushing away the locks of hair that lay haphazardly against his skin. “Yes, I can do that,” she says.

He locks eyes with her as she pulls away, and she spots the longing in his eyes. Unconsciously, she runs her tongue along her bottom lip, watching as his eyes follow its path. If she were to just lean in a few inches, she would be able to feel his mouth against her.

She’s about to give in when the door opens behind them. Suppressing a grimace at the interruption, she sits back down in the chair. It’s Russell.

She fiddles with the hem of her shirt as he crosses the room to stand before them. He doesn’t take a seat, and Raven feels uneasy at that. She hasn’t forgotten that Murphy broke a law today, and it was only a matter of time until they were graced by his presence.

“John Murphy,” he greets. He smiles at Raven. “Beautiful girl by your side giving you extra attention—I was going to ask how you were doing after everything that happened today, but I’d say you’re doing pretty well at this moment.”

“Things can always be worse,” Murphy says.

“Indeed,” Russell says. “But you’re a lucky man. You’re going to be a father,” he says, kissing his teeth. “That’s more than the majority of men around here ever get.”

Raven narrows her eyes. She’s never been a patient person, and right now, her patience is hanging by a single thread. Something tells her she’s not going to like the direction this conversation is heading. “Your point?” she says.

Russell sighs, like this conversation pains him. “As much as I’d like to let you slide, I can’t do that. Having a gun is a violation of our laws—you guys knew that when we welcomed you to Eden. You promised to uphold that.”

“And you promised to keep us safe,” Murphy says. “In and outside of Eden.”

Russell nods. “You’re right. We shouldn’t have gone to the spring today. It was reckless, considering the proximity of the colony of others. But,” he raises a finger, “that doesn’t excuse concealing a weapon and firing it without authorization. Without order, we will ruin this planet like we did Earth.”

“So why don’t you go ahead and tell me what are the consequences of keeping the mother of my child safe?” Murphy is staring him down, jaw set. “Because you’re not going get an apology from me.”

“According to our laws, being in possession of an unauthorized weapon translates to three months in solitary prison,” Russell says, and Raven’s stomach drops. “Firing said unauthorized weapon means an extra nine months.”

_A year._ Murphy could go to jail for a year.

 He can’t. He just _can’t_ leave her right now. She doesn’t want to do this alone. Her hand flies to her belly, still flat. Murphy could miss the birth of his own child. Murphy stiffens under Russell’s watchful gaze, but doesn’t back down.

“That being said,” Russell continues, “I’ve taken into consideration that you are still new to our settlement. You haven’t grown up with these laws. Plus,” his eyes flit to Raven. “I’d hate to rob you of witnessing the growth and birth of your first child. No father should miss that.”

Murphy relaxes a bit. “So what do you want from me?”

“Your service, sharpshooter,” Russell answer. He takes out a folded square of paper from his pocket and opens it. “Five years-worth to be exact. Eden’s military is being revived. We need new blood, and frankly, with the others more unstable than ever, we don’t exactly have a line of volunteers.”

“I didn’t even know you had a military,” Raven says.

Russell shrugs. “I wouldn’t expect you to. It’s been inactive for the last fifty years. We’ve been able to live in peace with the land and the others for generations. But your arrival has certainly. . .”he pauses as he searches for the right word. “It’s certainly reinvigorated a sleeping giant, so to speak.”

“Fifty years?” Raven asks. “What was the military’s last function?”

“The Great War of 2231. When half of our settlement dissented from the ruling of the current governor.” He sends a wry smile Raven’s way. “Eden, like all of humanity, has had its share of peace and unrest. I’ve made it my mission to maintain the former.”

Raven exchanges a look with Murphy, and Russell throws his hands up in the air.

 “Look, I’m not the enemy here,” he says. “I’m just trying to do what’s best for all of my people, and you two are part of my people now. If you don’t want to take the deal, you don’t have to. But I think it’s a good opportunity.”

“How would this work, exactly?” Murphy asks. “You need me to bow down and be a good little soldier at your beck and call?”

“You’d keep your current blacksmith position, this is just an added service. But yes, technically you’d be on call to be deployed at any time, for any reason. And of course, we’d compensate you adequately. I’m sure that will be helpful with a little one on the way.”

Saying Raven hated this would be the understatement of the century. She wanted Murphy as far away from Russell’s army as possible. But she knew they didn’t have a choice.

Murphy smiles bitterly. “For all your talks of peace, some would say you’ve been waiting for an excuse to beef up an army.”

“Sometimes the few must make a sacrifice to benefit the maybe,” Russell says. “I think this offer is more than fair.”

Murphy turns his head to look at her. She nods. A year in solitude is not an option. He fixes a stern stare on Russell. “Do you have a pen?”


	13. Awakening Pt. 1

The first time Raven hears her baby’s heartbeat, she bursts into mix of laughter and tears.

The rapid fluttering of her child brings forth a wave of intense emotions she is unable to hold back. Abby smiles at her. Tears are streaming down her face too. Raven marvels at the sound coming from the speakers in the examination room.

If it didn’t feel real before, it certainly does now.

At 12 weeks pregnant, she feels like she has been on an emotional and physical rollercoaster. Her morning sickness seems to have dissipated, thankfully, but daily headaches have taken its place. They hit her around 3 p.m. each day without fail. Abby told her they’re likely caused by stress, and advised her to relax as much as possible, but that’s easier said than done.

Murphy’s training began just five days after the incident with the alien. He hadn’t even gotten his stitches out when Russell sent for him. With that and his daily blacksmithing duties, Raven hardly saw him for a week straight. He got back late each night from wherever the hell he was being trained at. Even if Raven waited for him with Jordan in their unit, all he had energy to do was greet them, shower and collapse into bed. Some nights, if he was feeling extra affectionate, he kissed her on the forehead before he went to bed.

And for all the hubbub Russell raised about Murphy not missing her pregnancy, it’s because of his military training that he couldn’t be here today—that he missed out on hearing their baby’s heartbeat for the first time. Raven had even scheduled the meeting for a Saturday because she thought Murphy would have a higher chance of being able to come with her then.

When Abby retracts the wand from her barely-there baby bump, Raven wipes at her tears with the back of her hand and tugs her shirt down. “That’s amazing,” she says, and then in a quieter voice, she adds, “Murphy should be here.”

Abby squeezes her shoulder. “I’m sure if he could, he would be. Stay strong. Training will only last a few more weeks, and then he’ll only be on call.”

“Right,” Raven says. She doesn’t believe that for a second.

Within a few days after the whole debacle with Murphy and the alien creature, every tree in Eden was blanketed with military propaganda. Fliers and posters picturing a man and woman in navy fatigues, arms crossed in front of them as they posed back to back.

In bold letters, they read, _“Keep the peace, protect your family. Enlist now.”_

The others are growing in number, and some nights, you could hear their grunts even from inside Eden on the quietest of nights. The message was clear: there’s another war brewing, and this time, they’re not fighting other humans.

She doesn’t want Murphy anywhere near another war. They almost lost him last time. Her only consolation is that he’s not alone. As soon as their friends heard about the option to enlist, Bellamy, Echo, Miller, Indra and Octavia joined. In fact, Octavia was the first—she had strutted into Russell’s office and slammed down a signed contract on his desk.

“The next checkup is the one you’ll really want him here for,” Abby says. “You’ll be in your second trimester, so you get an ultrasound.”

“Will we find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Abby nods, an excited gleam in her eye, almost as if Raven really was actually her daughter. “You will. What do you guys think the baby is?”

“Murphy is dead set on a boy,” Raven says, a smile crawling on her lips. “Nothing can convince him otherwise. I honestly don’t know. I’d be happy with either, as long as the baby is healthy.”

“Sounding every bit like a mother-to-be,” Abby says.

Raven rests a hand on her small bump. “Is it bad that hearing that still sounds weird? Sometimes it’s hard to believe we’re here—that I’m here. . .Pregnant with Murphy’s baby,” she exhales in disbelief. “The world really _has_ ended.”

Abby’s lips curl upwards, and she fiddles with her fingers, as if unsure of what to say next. “I’ve wanted to ask you this for a while, but I just. . .Why Murphy? I thought you and Shaw were starting something when we escaped the ground.”

Raven bites her lip. It’s a fair question, and one that she guesses people have been afraid to ask her. Despite how close she grew to Echo and Bellamy on the Ring, they never asked her why she chose Murphy over Shaw. Maybe they already knew, or maybe they didn’t want to know.

Really, the answer has always been simple.

“He’s my family,” she says with a small shrug.

Abby nods, like she understands everything from just that simple statement. “He’s going to be a good father, I know it.”

“Yeah, I know he will.” She feels the onslaught of new tears flood into her eyes and she blinks them away with a soft laugh. “Sorry, everything makes me emotional these days,” she says, and Abby smiles.

“I remember the feeling. Jake loved to sing, especially when he was cooking up a storm in the kitchen,” Abby recalls, her smile turning wistful. “When I was pregnant with Clarke, just hearing his voice belting out old Sinatra made me turn into a blubbery mess, especially in the first trimester. That’s the hardest, by far.”

Raven cocks her head to the side. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about him before.”

“And that’s a shame,” Abby says. “I’ve avoided it because it’s painful for me, but being here in this new world, _living_ rather than just surviving. . . It’s reminded me that his life should be celebrated, not forgotten. After all, call it fate or not, his sacrifice eventually led to the 100 being sent to the ground. Who knows what would’ve happened to us on the Ark if we hadn’t done that?”

Raven nods. It’s true. Things could have been very different. For one, they’d all be long dead by now, regardless of whether or not they were able to fix the oxygen issue on the Ark.

Maybe she would have rose to become chief mechanic, or even chief engineer after Sinclaire. Finn, having come from a good blue-collar family, might’ve gotten pardoned for her spacewalking crime, and they would have tied the knot sometime in their early 20s.

Clarke and Murphy would have been floated, and Raven would have been none the wiser. Maybe Monty and Harper would have never met. Octavia would likely have gotten pardoned, and who knows how different her life would have turned out. She certainly wouldn’t have become bloodreina.

“I definitely wouldn’t have plummeted down to Earth on a tin can for a boy, I can tell you that much,” Raven says.

Abby laughs. “We all do crazy things for love.”

 

* * *

 

It’s pouring rain outside by the time she exits the hospital. Raven slips on her new red raincoat and walks back to her unit carefully so as not to slip on the muddy earth. The heat has finally subsided, but it’s now monsoon season. It has rained for the past two weeks straight, with only small breaks throughout the day.

And when it’s not raining, the weather is dreadfully humid, and Raven can’t figure out which she prefers. Neither, if she’s being honest with herself. But her co-workers at the tech hub tell her to enjoy the gloomy weather while she can. Apparently, temperatures will drop radically after the next month of rain, and eventually, the thunderstorms will become blizzards. Then, they’ll suffer through five to six months of bitter cold.

By the time it was time for her baby to be born, Eden will likely still be blanketed in snow.

An image of her and Murphy cradling a covered bundle by the warmth of a fireplace flashes in her head. It sends a twinge to her heart, because they’ll never be that.

Something catches her eye inside the covered market, and Raven decides to make a quick stop before going back home. There aren’t a lot of baby items for sale, and so when she sees the tiny pair of boots on a stand, she convinces herself that she needs them. The boots are made out of brown animal hide, with a tiny fringe around the top. They are possibly the cutest thing Raven has ever seen.

They’re pricy—25 credits. But she knows it’s because Eden has stopped producing clothes for children and babies. No point in wasting resources when there aren’t any of them around to use them. Now that Diyoza has had her daughter, and other women from their population have tested positive for pregnancy, the shop owners have started making more.

Raven holds the little boots in her hand as she peruses the small display of baby items. There are a couple of knitted pairs of socks, some pastel-colored jumpers and a container with a handful of pacifiers. In the bottom shelf, she sees a few stuffed animals—all sporting signs of love from their previous owners, including a bear that’s missing half its ear—and there, laying in the corner is a mobile.

She can’t help herself. Raven picks it up, examining the origami-style birds that adorn it. Maybe it was her earlier conversation with Abby about what-ifs, but the mobile reminds her of the raven pendant Finn had made for her. . . once upon a time.

“You gonna buy that?”

Raven spins around and sees Diyoza. She almost doesn’t recognize her without her armor. Now, clad in a blue raincoat and black leggings, and toting a tiny newborn in a buggy, she looks like a completely different woman.

“Hello?” Diyoza snaps at her to get her attention, motioning to the mobile in her hands. “I don’t have all day. Hope only sleeps in spurts and I’ve got to pump before she wakes up again. So are you gonna buy that or not?”

Raven looks down at the mobile still in her grasp. “Yes, sorry.”

“Damn. Those are hard to come by. But, finders keepers, losers . . .” she makes an exaggerated weeping expression with her hands. “How far along are you?”

“Three months.”

Diyoza whistles. “The first trimester is a bitch.”

Raven feels herself crack a smile. “You’re telling me.”

“The next trimester will be better. You’ll get your energy back.”

“Must be some energy,” Raven says. “Didn’t you lead a mutiny and commandeer a spacecraft?”

Diyoza simply shrugs. “A mother will do anything to keep their child safe. You’ll find out soon enough,” she says, chancing one more longing look at the mobile in Raven’s hands before heading to a different side of the market with Hope.

The lady at the register smiles at her kindly when she rings her up, wrapping the boots individually in tissue paper before laying them down carefully in a small box. She does the same with the bird mobile, all the while eyeing Raven with a mix of reverence and well-concealed jealousy. Raven isn’t offended at the latter—she’s heard enough tragic stories of infertility and still-born children to feel compassion for the Eden women.

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Raven hears a familiar voice say, once again caught off-guard.

Raven spins around and sees Echo standing behind her, a basket of groceries in one hand. “Raven Reyes buying baby items, and none of them are mini-computers or tiny wrenches.” Echo adds.

“You forget I’m carrying Murphy’s spawn,” Raven says. “This kid may not inherit my brains.”

Echo smiles. “Good point, but for the sake of humanity, let’s hope the child takes after you,” she says, placing her basket on the check-out counter.

Raven waits for her to pay for her items. Since arriving to Kainos, she and Echo haven’t spent much time together. And while they all grew close in the Ring, she and Echo developed a strong bond very early on—one that was definitely tested when they got back to the ground. With the whole Bellamy/Clarke debacle, she knows Echo struggled through it, and she feels guilty that she let her go through it alone.

They make small talk as they walk together to the small café on the corner of the market. It’s pretty empty for a Saturday afternoon, and it’s likely due to the rain. Raven watches the torrents of rain stream down the gutters in the roof, the pitter-patter of the drops overhead soothing to her.

Echo brings back two steaming cups of tea, putting one in front of her on the small iron table. She waves her off when Raven tries to give her the credit it’s worth.

“My treat,” she says.

The tea smells floral with a hint of sweetness. She’s not sure what it is made out of, but she’s in love at first sip. It not only warms her insides, but it coats her tongue in a sugary aftertaste. “This is really good,” she says. “Thank you.” Echo nods, sipping her cup gingerly so as not to scald her mouth. Raven notes the dark circles under her eyes, and it worries her.

“Are you doing okay?” Raven asks after the silence stretches for a few minutes.

“I’m fine,” she says, managing a small smile. “Working through my own stuff and trying to move on with life. Training has definitely kept me busy, and that’s a good thing.”

A thought crosses her mind then. “Isn’t there training today? Murphy couldn’t make my appointment today.”

“Yeah, but I’m scheduled for training tomorrow, not that I need it,” she adds, with a roll of her eyes. “They had to split us up into two groups with the amount of volunteers that signed up.”

“Who knew people would be so eager to go to war?” Raven says bitterly.

“War is a commodity to them. It’s something new and exciting to give their lives a purpose.” She takes a long sip of her tea, a dark look storming her eyes. “Plus, we’re being trained to ‘preserve life’ and ‘protect our fellow soldiers’. Not aim a gun or spear at someone else’s son or daughter.”

“Different kind of war,” Raven says.

“And it’ll be fought by immature children who don’t know what it feels like to have blood on their hands.”

“Isn’t that the kind of world we want to build? The one Monty wanted us to live in?” Raven leans forward in her chair. “Do better, he told us. For better or worse, that’s what Eden has tried to do.”

“As far as we know,” Echo says and Raven nods in agreement. The founders of Eden probably had their own skeletons in the closet. How they pertain to their situation today is still unknown.

She attempts to cheer Echo up for the rest of their coffee break, which turns into a whole afternoon of catching up as they take advantage of a break in the rain to go for a walk around Eden. They end up back at her unit, and then she finds herself watching a movie with her, and then all of the sudden, it’s dinnertime. It was amazing how many things one could do with free time.

Echo is in the kitchen now, stir-frying some vegetables and boar meat for the two of them. She is almost too aggressive with her cooking though, and accidentally dirties her shirt. “Shit,” she says. “This will set in quick.” She strips off her top, leaving her in a plain white sports bra, and starts rinsing the fabric in the sink. “Can you grab me a shirt? They’re on the middle drawer.”

Raven nods, and heads to her dresser. She’s momentarily confused, as Echo’s dresser, like hers, has four drawers. She’s not sure which one Echo refers to as the “middle” one. Taking a chance, she goes for the second topmost drawer, but it’s obviously the wrong one.

She holds up a pair of lacy black boy shorts. “Damn, Bellamy is an idiot.” She turns them around in the air. “These are completely see-through, how _scandalous_.”

Echo marches over to her and snatches them out of her hands. “Wrong drawer, nosy. And if we’re talking about being scandalous, I’ll just point out that you’re the one that’s knocked up. By _John fucking Murphy_.” She raises an eyebrow. “I hope the sex was worth the headaches his spawn will ensue on all of us.”

Raven works hard to maintain a straight face, opening the correct drawer and tossing Echo a new shirt. “It kinda probably will be worth it?” she says, and Echo looks at her curiously before going back to stirring the pan.

“It may, probably be the _best_ I’ve ever had,” Raven admits relunctantly. Granted, she’s only slept with three other people, and one of them was _Wick,_ but still.

Echo’s mouth drops with a surprised laugh. “It’s always the brooding ones.” She puts the pan out of the heat, turning around to face Raven. She spaces her hands about six inches apart. “So are we talking this big?”

“Echo, what the fuck?”

“Bigger?” She says, her eyes bugging out before nodding once. “I’m impressed.”

Raven covers her face with her hands. She’s never been good at girl talk. “I’m not answering this. We are not talking about Murphy’s dick.”

“Why?” Echo asks, her voice rising in pitch. “Are the memories of your wild, animalistic lovemaking turning you on?”

“Echo, I’m three months pregnant. Everything either makes me sad, irrationally angry or horny,” Raven deadpans.

“Well, I really hope for Murphy’s sake that this conversation isn’t making you sad,” Echo replies, and Raven reaches for a pillow on the nearby bed to throw at her.

She’s worked to keep herself from thinking back to all those nights spent in his tent at their first camp, but as hard as she tries, she can’t erase the memory of their bodies rocking against each other, him buried deep between her thighs with his mouth hot on her neck, drawing out a type of quiet moan no other man had ever gotten out of her. She tries to forget the way his lips felt on hers, how he kissed her like she was his only source of oxygen. But then her mind wanders to the way his bare chest felt against hers, how the rise and fall of it lulled her to sleep. She didn’t even mind the stickiness of his skin on hers from their combined sweat. She’d never tell him, but she loved the way he smelled after they had sex—a woodsy musk with hints of vanilla sweetness.

It's all she can do to stop herself from rubbing her thighs together. It didn't matter anyways. She could never imitate the way Murphy made her feel. 


	14. Awakening Pt. 2

It’s dark by the time she gets back home. She takes the lift up to her floor, and she’s just barely stuck her key inside the lock when the door flies open. Emori, hair mussed and dressed in just a tank top and her underwear, stands in the doorway. In the background, Raven can hear the shower running.

She raises her eyebrows. “Uh, hello roomie. You busy?”

Emori smirks. “Let’s just say it’s been an. . . eventful afternoon.”

Raven smiles, despite being a bit annoyed because she’s totally getting sexiled. At some point, it was bound to happen. She just kind of wishes it wouldn’t have been tonight. The day has worn her out and all she wants to do is shower and crawl in bed. And maybe watch an old movie.

“And it is going to be an eventful night, too?” Raven asks.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Emori says, but from her tone, Raven can gauge she only said that because she doesn’t want to kick her out.

“Do you want it to be?”

Emori bites her lip. “Yes, but—”

“Then say no more. I will spend the night at Echo’s,” Raven says and Emori visibly relaxes in front of her.

“You’re the best,” she says.

“Yeah, I know,” Raven says, and Emori rolls her eyes in faux annoyance. “Do I at least get to know who the mystery guy in our shower is?”

All at once, Emori clams up again. She grimaces, and puts her hands up in the air, almost as if in self-defense. “Yes, but promise me you won’t freak out.”

Those words will always trigger the opposite reaction. Raven stiffens, imagining the worst possible scenario—Because oh my god. She has to be talking about Murphy. He’s naked in her shower, right now.

The wave of jealousy that comes over her is overwhelming. She’s never been one to be taken over by the green monster, but at this very second, no matter how much she loves Emori like a sister, she kind of wants to strangle her. She attempts to quell her emotions, maintaining a neutral expression.

“Why would I freak out?” Raven manages to say.

Emori stares into her eyes for a beat, before scrunching them closed.

“Okay. . . It’s Shaw.”

Raven chokes. _What the actual fuck?_

“Shaw,” she draws out his name.

Emori nods.

At this point, Raven is convinced everything that has just happened is a joke from the universe. How else could you describe it? Murphy and Emori loved each other, then they broke up. Raven became interested in Shaw, then disinterested. Emori tells Raven it’s okay to sleep with Murphy, and Raven goes ahead against her better judgment and does that. Now, Shaw and Emori are hooking up?

If that’s not one big cosmic middle finger to the idea of traditional relationships, she’s not sure what is.

“Okay, first off—we need to stop recycling men between the two of us. It’s getting weird,” Raven says, and Emori snorts. She can tell she’s relieved. “Second, I thought you hated Shaw.”

“I didn’t _hate_ him,” she says. “I didn’t particularly like him, but. . .” she shrugs, her mouth opening and closing like she can’t explain how this happened. “We spend a lot of time together, and he’s. . . different.” She rubs at her temple, cheeks reddening. “I sound ridiculous.”

Raven is taken aback at that. She has never seen Emori _blush_ , never mind be at a loss for words.

“We’re going to talk about this later,” Raven says. “For now, I’m just going to grab a few of my things and get out of your hair.”

Raven walks in and makes a beeline to her dresser. The shower is still running, thankfully. While she has no problem with Emori hooking up with Shaw, she doesn’t exactly want to be here when he gets out. By the time she packs enough clothes to stay overnight, and Emori enters the bathroom and brings her toothbrush, any annoyance at being sexiled left in her body is all but dissipated. How can she be upset when Emori has a chance at happiness? Raven never expected Shaw to be the person to grant her said happiness, but who is she to judge?

The rain is once again falling hard when Raven exits the tree. She slides her hood over hair and starts making her way back to Echo’s unit. Hopefully, she won’t mind her spending the night.

The universe seems to have a different idea, however, because she crosses paths with Murphy.

He stops abruptly in the rain when he sees her. He’s still in the Eden military uniform, dark navy fatigues with leather cuffs on his wrists and ankles. The rough fabric repels water, but his hair is matted to his forehead with water.

“Reyes?” He calls, crossing the distance between them swiftly. “What are you doing out here? And why do you have a bag?”

“It’s a long story,” Raven says. “Why are you all the way over here?”

“I was coming to check on you,” he says, catching her by surprise. “You had your appointment today, right?”

Ah, the baby. It’s only natural he would want to see her.

She nods. “I heard the baby’s heartbeat,” she says, pulling her raincoat tighter around her. The rain is starting to come down harder, and he notices it too. “Can we go to your place? Mine is off-limits at the moment.”

Murphy frowns, but tells her, “Okay.” She takes one step toward him, but the ground is softer than she anticipated and her brace digs down into the mud. Murphy catches her by her elbow to make sure she doesn’t lose her balance as she kicks herself free.

“Crap,” she says. “That’s gonna be a pain to get out.”

“I’ll take care of it,” he says. “Let’s just get out of the rain.”

He keeps one hand on the small of her back the whole way to his unit. It’s not like him to be so openly affectionate with her, but she can’t deny that it’s nice, though not nearly as great as the intimacy they developed while they were trying to conceive. It’s feels like a game of tug of war sometimes. He gives, she takes. She gives, he takes.

“Jordan’s not here,” he says as he turns his key into the lock. “He’s gone on some sort of veggie-tales adventure.”

Raven snorts, about to reply with a sarcastic comment when Murphy bends and picks her up from her thighs. She rolls her eyes. Him and his damn OCD. “Really, you thought bending me over like a ragdoll would be easier than asking me to take off my shoes?”

He chuckles as he kicks the door shut behind them, his hand twisting the lock closed. He toes off his boots. “There’s definitely other things I’d love to bend you over for,” he says, and his words flood her belly with heat.

“ _Murphy_ ,” she warns as he takes them to the bathroom.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he sets her down on his closed toilet, crouching down to undo the latches on her brace. “But, you set yourself up for that one.”

She watches as he props her muddy brace up against the bathroom wall. He deftly unties her boots’ laces, pulling them off her feet and setting them down next to her. “So are you going to tell me who Emori is shacking up with right now?” he asks, crossing his arms and resting them on her knees.

Raven furrows her brow. “How did you—?”

“C’mon. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

She purses her lips. “You sound pretty upset about it.”

“Of course I’m upset,” he says. “She kicked you out into the rain and you’re three months pregnant.”

She relaxes when she hears him say this. While Murphy isn’t hers, by any means, knowing he wasn’t pining after another woman makes her feel a little bit better about their situation. She would never want to be the person to hold him back from finding his own happiness.

“It’s not like that,” she says. “I offered to spend the night somewhere else.” Murphy sighs, fixing his eyes toward the ceiling. “Look, if you don’t want me here, I was planning on going to Echo’s anyways.”

“You know that’s not the case, Reyes. Don’t test my patience,” he scolds. “It’s hanging on by a thread. You’re not going anywhere.”

In the stark white light of the bathroom, she can see the purple shadows under his eyes. She rakes her fingers through his wet hair, pulling it up so that it stands up in spikes. “You need a haircut,” she says. “Want me to do it tomorrow? It’s Sunday,” she says. It was the only day Murphy was guaranteed to rest.

He nods, resting his chin atop his arms still braced on her knees. “How was the appointment?”

Raven continues to run her hand through his hair, reaching back into the nape of his neck. “Good,” she says. “Our baby has a strong heartbeat.”

“I would think so,” he says. “With your genes and mine, he’s going to be a fighter.”

Raven smiles. “You’re really so sure it’s a boy?”

Murphy groans as he stands up, his hip cracking. “He’s a Murphy,” he says. “Murphy babies are always boys.”

“Maybe we’ll have to keep trying for a girl, then?” The words tumble out her lips before she even registers what she is saying.

He stops mid-stride and blinks at her. Neither of them say anything for a beat. Then, softly, he says, “We can try for as many as you’ll give me.”

He shuts the bathroom door before she gets a chance to say anything else. Maybe it’s better that way.

His statement continues to echo in her mind as she showers, particularly his last few words. _As many as you’ll give me._ Not, ‘as many as you want,’ or even ‘we can try for another.’ He said, as many as she would give him, and his words trigger something inside her she thought was long gone.

She balances herself inside the shower by bracing her hands on the walls. She closes her eyes under the steady stream of water falling on her face and body, imagining a future where she and Murphy have their own family unit somewhere in the trees. There are toys in the living room, and he’s sitting in an armchair reading something on his data pad while she tinkers around with a few spare parts on their dining room table. Faraway, almost in a dreamlike haze, she hears the sound of children’s laughter. Murphy tells two young boys to stop running in the goddamn living room, and she smiles. The boys, both with mops of dark hair and sun-kissed skin, ignore their father.

Raven opens her eyes and it’s like she’s had the mother of all epiphanies.

Once she’s done showering, she sits at the edge of the bathtub to get dressed. After she puts on a soft white tee and a loose pair of shorts, she calls out for Murphy.

He opens the bathroom door a crack, and once he sees she’s dressed, he opens it all the way. Raven gestures to her muddy brace and he nods in understanding. “I got you,” he says, picking her up bridal style.

Raven wraps her arms around his neck for support. Murphy walks them to his bed, perching her on the edge. He starts to turn away, but she grabs his elbow. “Murphy—”

“I’m going to shower,” he says, cutting her off. “I’m exhausted.”

He disappears into the bathroom before she has a chance to say anything else. And so she waits. She listens as the shower turns on, and she shuffles back on the bed to lie down. His scent is all around her then—on his sheets, on his pillow. . . It’s comforting. She snorts as the thought crosses her mind. She never thought she’d find anything about John Murphy to be comforting.

She’s curled up on her side, and nearly asleep, when Murphy finally exits the bathroom, dressed in baggy grey sweatpants and a black V-neck. He holds up her brace, now clean, and puts it on the ground next to the bed. “It’s a little wet still, but in case you need to get up,” he says.

“Thank you.”

He grunts in response and heads toward the kitchenette to do the dishes in the sink. “Are you hungry?”

“No, I had dinner with Echo,” she says. “You?”

“I ate while you were showering.”

He doesn’t offer her any more conversation beyond that, and it makes her wonder that maybe they’re not on the same page. Maybe he didn’t mean what he said, and is now regretting it. Maybe he’s still in love with Emori and he said what he did because he was upset she was with someone else.

There are a lot of unknowns for her right now, and if there’s one thing Raven hates more than anything, _it’s not knowing_.

The sound of scrubbing dishes fills the air. She waits for him to finish. When the last dish is placed on the drying rack, she clears her throat.

He looks over his shoulder at her. “Need some water?”

“I think we need to talk,” she says, and Murphy sighs.

 “If this is about who gets the bed, you better believe I’d rather sleep on the couch than take Jordan’s,” he says, deflecting the conversation. “That dude has seriously made me into his live-in maid.” He comes to sit across the bed to face her, one leg tucked underneath him and the other hanging off the side.

Raven can’t help herself—she rolls her eyes in irritation. What is he even talking about right now?

“It’s not about the bed,” she says. “I think we need to revisit this whole kids thing that just happened.”

“I think it’s a little late for that, you’re already pregnant.”

She leans forward on the bed and gives him a frustrated look. “Can you be serious for one second?”

He stares at her sullenly. “One second, there you go. Time’s up.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Maybe I don’t want to have this conversation,” he says. “Maybe, we should just forget I said anything.”

“Yeah, well maybe _I_ can’t,” she says, raising her voice. “Maybe, if for once in your life, you shut up, I could tell you that we made a mistake—that _I_ made a mistake.”

Murphy scoffs. “Wow. The baby isn’t even born yet and you’re already regretting it.”

“What? How could even say that?” She shakes her head. “I was talking about _us.”_

He gives her a blank stare. “Okay, forgive me, but I don’t know what we’re arguing about anymore.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose. This man… Sometimes, she swears she could kill him. No one drives her crazier than he does. “We’re not arguing,” she says, her voice returning to its normal volume. “I’m trying to tell you that if you want to have more kids after this one, I’m in.”

He stares at her for a beat, his ocean eyes boring into hers like twin embers. There’s still a hint of confusion there, but she can see the puzzle pieces are starting to line up in his brain. Good.

“You’re. . .in?” He asks. “What does that even mean?”

“Exactly what it sounds like,” she says.

He scoots closer, his brow furrowed. “You need to be _crystal_ clear with me right now, Reyes,” he says. “I’m _all_ in for this,” he gestures between them, “if you are. So is that what you mean? Because if it’s not, I swear to god Raven—”

Raven tugs him to her by the fabric of his T-shirt, crashing their lips together. It goes from zero to a hundred like something in Murphy snaps, and he deepens the desperate kiss, holding her in place by snaking a hand around the back of her neck. She holds back a moan when he slides his tongue on her bottom lip, nipping and sucking at it in the way that drives her mad.

She’s not sure how long they kiss. Time means nothing to her at this moment. Her senses are all honed in on John Murphy—the way his stubble drags on her skin, the taste of his lips, the deep groans she’s able to draw out of him.

Her hands reach out to touch his skin underneath his shirt, feeling the hard plane of muscles flex under her palms. She slides the fabric upward and over his head, before removing her own shirt, needing to feel his bare skin on hers.

Murphy stops abruptly, holding her at an arm’s length. She’s momentarily afraid that she horribly misread everything, but when she sees him looking at the slight curve of her stomach, all worries vanish.

“Sorry,” he says. “I just, I hadn’t gotten a good look at it yet. You can’t really see it with your clothes on.” He tears his gaze away to make eye-contact with her. His eyes, slightly dilated, blaze for her, for the life they are starting to create together. He doesn’t have to tell her she’s beautiful. Raven knows by the way he’s looking at her.

“It’ll still be here when we’re done,” she says. “Now, clothes off.”

Raven is embarrassingly ready in no time. Murphy groans against her neck when he feels it, too far gone himself to tease her about it. The sound almost causes her to burn from the inside out. Now, with their naked skin hot against each other, every coherent thought escapes her brain.

He looks at her, his eyes searching for confirmation. As soon as she nods, he slides inside her, Raven’s mouth opening at the almost-forgotten stretching sensation. He takes a second to compose himself, his head buried in the crook of her neck. He draws a path with his lips to her shoulder, hiking her legs higher on his back.

When he begins to move, it’s like her body has been lit up in flames. The pleasure starts building instantaneously, and her nerves feel like livewires. Murphy’s breath is jagged, and she knows he won’t last long this time. Neither will she—they’ve been holding out from each other for way too long.

“Raven, I don’t think I can—”

“It’s okay,” she murmurs, her voice breathy.

The last thought in her head before she begins to see stars is that Murphy is the home she’s spent her whole life searching for.

She clenches around him as she climaxes, and Murphy groans against her throat, his thrusts becoming more erratic. He finds release not long after, bracing himself with his arms so as not to slump on top of her. Raven rubs at his shoulders affectionately, leaning up to nip at his collarbone.

They shift around on the narrow bed to try to get as comfortable as possible, but while the bed is plenty big enough for one, two is definitely pushing it. Murphy is perched at the very edge, and so is she, but their bodies are still touching. They face each other, sharing a single pillow. Murphy looks even more exhausted than before.

“I’m sorry I wore you out,” she says.

“Feel free to wear me out anytime you want,” he replies. “My body is always ready.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Is it now?”

He nods sleepily. “I’m glad you decided to put me out of my misery, since you’ve ruined me for other women.”

She tangles her legs with his, edging closer to kiss him lazily. He chases after her mouth when she backs away. “All women? Even blonde perky ones?” She has no idea why she felt compelled to bring up Eleanor in this very moment, but she did.

He smirks, shaking his head in amusement. “It baffles me,” he says.

“What does?"

“That the amazing Raven Reyes, who is pregnant with _my_ child, thinks I’d ever want anyone else.” He pulls her to him, and they shift until her back is flush against his chest. “I’ll always pick you first,” he whispers.

The words resonate inside her, triggering a once-buried memory. _I used to get picked first for everything,_ she had told Clarke that faithful day in the dropship when her old life ended. It’s how she refers to the time before she was shot. Considering everything that’s happened since then, and where she finds herself right at this very moment, her new life, non-functioning leg and all, is worth living and treasuring.

“When did you know?” she whispers, knowing by his uneven breathing that he was still awake behind her.

Murphy lays a hand atop of her protruding belly. “I was a goner after I asked you to dance.”


	15. Lose your head

Waking up in Murphy’s arms feels both foreign and familiar all at once. If it weren’t for the red numbering on the alarm clock letting her know it was just after 7 a.m., Raven would think it was still night, especially with the curtains drawn. The rain continues to fall outside, the sound of the drops hitting the roof soothing in her early morning haze. She closes her eyes, attempting to go back to sleep, but she finds it impossible. Unfortunately, she is very much awake.

Murphy, on the other hand, is still deeply asleep. His hand cradles her protectively against him, as if even in his sleep he worried she would roll off the narrow bed. Raven listens to his soft breathing. She would like for him to get as much sleep as possible, and worries about waking him if she moves. She knows how hard training has been for him, an extra responsibility on top of his daily work schedule, and to be honest—Murphy has always had trouble following orders.

That being said, she desperately needs to use the bathroom.

She extrapolates herself from his firm grip, slipping on her underwear and shorts before latching her now-dry brace on her leg. She goes to reach for her T-shirt, but spots his black V-neck on the floor beside her and decides to wear that instead. It’s deliciously baggy on her, and the fact it smells like him is a bonus.

Once she’s taken care of business, her stomach growls loudly. She pats it with a small smile. Yay for regaining her appetite.

“I know baby,” she murmurs. “Food is coming.”

She pads toward the kitchenette, opening up the fridge to see what Murphy and Jordan had. Unsurprisingly, it’s pretty well stocked, which is probably more Murphy’s doing. She takes out a basket of lavender colored eggs, putting them on the counter as she searches for more ingredients.

Raven has no idea what she’s really doing, but she figures frying a couple eggs can’t be too difficult. If she can save her friends from certain death time and time again, she can make a simple breakfast.

She’s watched Emori do it numerous times. She flips the stove on high, greasing a skillet with some homemade butter before cracking an egg on the edge. The light purple egg yolk jiggles as it slides into the center of the pan, soft crackling filling the air.

She gives it a minute, watching the edges start to curl inward and brown. When is she supposed to flip it? She really should know how to cook for herself.

A low groan from the other side of the room catches her attention. Murphy has woken up. He sits up on the bed and she raises an eyebrow at his naked form.

“It’s early,” she says. “Go back to sleep.”

“Bed got cold,” he says with a yawn. “Besides, I’m not going to let you burn our breakfast, Reyes.” After a brief stretch, he picks up his boxer shorts from the floor and slips them on, sauntering over to her and tugging her to him by her hips. “This is way too high,” he says, reaching around her to turn the heat down to medium.

“By logic, that just means the egg will cook faster.”

He drops a kiss to the side of her neck. “The culinary arts don’t abide by logic. It’s all skill.” She rolls her eyes as he lets her go with a soft chuckle. She hears him head to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

By the time he reappears, she’s finished the first egg, and it’s only slightly charred on one side. He’s put his sweatpants back on, but remains topless—likely because she has his shirt. Raven can’t say she minds that much. This new world has been kind to Murphy’s physique.

He shoos her away from his kitchen, and Raven sits at the table with a smirk. “I bet this was your plan all along,” he says as he gets to work. “Trap Murphy and use him for his cooking…steal his clothes.”

“You forgot about using you for sex,” Raven says.

He clicks his tongue, making a pleased expression. “I’m taking that as a compliment.”

“You don’t like me wearing your clothes?” she asks, feigning innocence.

He shoots her a cursory glance. “I like you better naked.”

She could get used to mornings like these—Lazy Sunday breakfasts full of their usual back and forth and slightly scandalous remarks. This is the life she wants, and she wants it with him. No one else. There’s not an inkling of doubt in her heart or mind.

They chat idly throughout breakfast, and Murphy scoots his chair closer to hers so that his knees are brushing hers underneath the table. Raven revels in the renewed intimacy between them. It feels like the missing puzzle piece in her life has finally slotted into its place.

He keeps looking at her in the strangest way, though. So much, that after seeing him sneak a look at her for the umpteenth time, she decides to bring it up.

“What?” she says through a mouthful of food, waving her fork in the air.

“Nothing,” he responds. Raven’s eyebrows shoot up and he shrugs. “I’m just. . . having a hard time believing that this is happening.”

“That we’re having breakfast?”

Murphy meets her gaze, looking at her in a way she can’t decipher. “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page,” he says.

His words remind her of her conversation with Clarke all those weeks ago—how she had lectured her about the possibility that there could come a time when she and Murphy wanted different things.

  _What if, one day, you wake up and realize you want more with him, or he wakes up and realizes he does, and neither one of you are on the same page?_

Raven wants Murphy. She wants to build a life with him. She needs him, like the plants need sun and water to grow, and like rockets need fuel to blast off. Any future without him would be incomplete. And that’s all she knows for sure. The word “love” crosses her mind then, and it sort of freaks her out a bit. Love, when put into a romantic context, is one facet of their relationship she’s not ready to address right now.

Raven has only ever told one man she loved him. And he had been the most important person in her life for years. She’s not the type to use the word on a whim. But when she is ready to use it again, god knows she will mean it.

“I told you I was all in,” she says.

“Yes, but all in for what, exactly?” He lays his fork atop his empty plate. “That could mean very different things to both of us.”

“What does it mean to you?”

“It means you’re mine, in every way possible.”

Her lips curl up in a small smile. “In every way, huh?” She leans over, her elbow braced on the table and one hand buried in her hair as it holds her head up.

“Damn straight you are,” He edges closer to her, his mouth just inches away from hers. “And I’d kill anyone, or _anything,_ that would ever change that.”

Maybe it’s a little messed up that this is turning her on, but she can’t deny the fluttering his words trigger deep in her belly. She closes the distance between them, letting herself get carried away in a fervent kiss. She swallows a moan as he tugs her closer, his hand caressing her lower back.

“Sometimes, I feel like you’re the only thing keeping me sane,” he whispers against her skin. His hand wanders to the curve of her stomach. “You both make me want to be better. To deserve you.”

“None of us deserve happiness,” she says after tugging on his earlobe with her teeth. “Not after all we’ve done. But you’re a lucky bastard, Murphy, and you get to have it anyways.”

“You know you deserve more, right?” He pulls her to him, and she shifts to sit on his lap. He nips at her chin with his teeth, moving down the column of her throat.

“I only want you.”

His eyes darken, looking every bit like blue embers at that moment. He searches her eyes for any sign of uncertainty on her part, and satisfied, his lips form into his familiar smirk. “I hope you know what you’re asking for, Reyes.”

She crashes her lips to his, and he doesn’t waste any time in deepening the kiss. Mouth parted, she allows his tongue to explore her, teasing her at the seam of her lips. Raven tangles her hands in his hair, enjoying the rasp of his facial hair against her skin.

They have wasted so much time apart when they could have been together in this unknown world, and they have a lot to make up for. That’s why she has to swallow a whimper when he pulls away, groaning and shutting his eyes.

“We have to stop,” he said. “Jordan will be here any minute, and I need to start being a good example.”

She snorts. “Or you don’t want him to see me naked.”

“There’s that, also.”

Raven stretches her lips into a close-lipped smile. “Who knew you were so possessive?”

“I prefer the term, territorial.”

“What, you’re going to piss on me too while you’re at it?” she quips, finding humor in this new unexpected side of him.

Murphy eyes her up and down. “Only if you’re into that kind of thing.”

She hums as she lifts herself off his lap, reaching over to grab their plates off the table. She may not be a great cook, but she does know how to wash a dish. She’s scrubbing their plates clean when the door to Murphy’s unit flies open.

At first, she smiles upon seeing Jordan. Then, her eyes snake down to blood adorning the bottom third of his grey shirt and her expression changes immediately to concern. She spots white gauze in between the tatters of the fabric.

Jordan holds his hands up in the air once he notices her alarmed expression. “I’m okay,” he says. “It was just a scratch.”

Raven drops the plate into the sink, drying her hands on her shorts, before coming up to him and examining his wound. She lifts his shirt, steering him toward his bed, where they take a seat. “That’s quite the scratch,” she says, taking in the six-inch wide bandage taped below the left side of his rib cage. She looks at him with wide eyes. “What the hell happened?”

“We were gathering midnight waterblooms,” Jordan says, wincing as she presses lightly on a spot on the gauze that has run red with his blood. “It’s a little white flower that only sprouts during the monsoon season. They use it here to make an antibiotic to combat fevers in the winter. I was crouched down near a patch.” He shakes his head. “It came out of nowhere.”

“One of those things?” Murphy asks, his brow furrowed.

Jordan nods. “Octavia pushed me away before it could do some real damage, but I got swiped by one of its claws.”

“Wait a minute,” Raven says. “O was there?” She turns to make eye contact with Murphy. “I thought she was still in training with you.”

“She is,” Murphy says.

“Are you going on missions too?”

“I will soon.”

Raven holds his gaze for a minute. She’s not sure why this information caught her off guard. Eventually, he was going to be deployed for missions. It’s just . . . She didn’t expect it to be so soon. His wound is still healing—the edges of his soon-to- be scar are still puckered pink.

She shakes those thoughts out of her head, refocusing her attention back on Jordan. Tentatively, she peels away the gauze from his skin, going slowly to minimize the pain. Jordan winces, and Raven struggles to keep a neutral expression on her face. She hates seeing him in pain.

The wound is not pretty. It’s not as deep as Murphy’s, but it absolutely needs more than just a bandage. “You need stitches,” she says.

Jordan sighs. “I know. I just wanted to drop off my bag here before I went to the hospital.”

Nodding, Raven covers his injury back up with the bandage. “Okay, give us a second and we’ll go with you.”

He purses his lips. “I can go alone,” he says, looking down at her. “It’s not a big deal.”

“That’s ridiculous, you don’t need to go by yourself.”

A sudden sharp whistle cuts through the air, jolting them. It takes Raven a solid second to compute that it came from Murphy, who’s sternly looking at Jordan. “Her eyes are up here,” Murphy says, gesturing with two fingers.

Raven looks down at herself, noticing how Murphy’s shirt gapes in front of her as she hunches over. It’s a reminder that she’s not wearing a bra, and that she’s probably given Jordan quite the unintentional show.

Jordan blushes a deep scarlet, mumbling an apology to her. He is unable to meet her eyes now, and Raven shoots Murphy a look that says, _really?_ He shrugs back, mouthing “what?” in a bothered manner.

“It’s fine,” she reassures Jordan. “Just go get stitches. It’ll give me some peace of mind. Are you sure you don’t want us to go with you?”

“Yep,” Jordan says, popping the last consonant.

Murphy ignores Jordan as he leaves the unit. When the door shuts behind him, Raven crosses her arms. “That was unnecessary. You embarrassed him,” she says.

He shrugs in response. “I know our first instinct is to treat him like a kid because he’s Monty and Harper’s son, but Raven—he’s a grown ass man. He was staring down your shirt and I’m not going to just twiddle my thumbs as it happens,” he says.

Raven appraises him as she stands up from Jordan’s bed. “So this is what being with John Murphy is like?”

She takes slow steps toward the large window overlooking the settlement.

“To tell you the truth, it’s kind of hot,” she adds with a teasing smile. “No one has ever been this. . . protective over me. “

“That’s because the guys you were with before were idiots,” Murphy replies, meeting her at the window of his living room. They look out into the dreary day, the raindrops sticking to the glass. “I am not only fully aware that you’re lightyears out of my league, but that I could lose you— both of you—at the drop of a pin.” He imitates letting one go in the air, popping his lips.

He’s not referring to her bolting on him, at least not entirely. She’s sure Murphy’s insecurities have put the thought of her leaving him one day into his head. But mainly, he means losing her to death, or vice versa. Maybe it’s morbid, but as a pair who met in the throes of what they thought would be their earthly demise all those years ago in the dropship, it doesn’t faze her. If she has her way, he’ll never have to find out what it’s like to die without her.

Raven reaches for his hand, entwining her fingers with his. There’s still a lot that they need to figure out in this new world—and with a child on the way and another war brewing, every moment they have is precious. For all they know, it could be their last.

Murphy squeezes her hand, bringing it up to his face to kiss her knuckles. She knows no matter what happens, they’ll face it together.

 

* * *

 

Later that day after cutting Murphy’s hair, Raven receives a data pad message (and yes, she caved and bought one for 50 damn credits) from Clarke. She’s calling a group meeting, and that can only mean one of two things.

She’s either discovered new information about the others, or she needs their help for something. Maybe both.

Raven and Murphy head over to Clarke and Bellamy’s family unit shortly after noon, and though the distance between their homes was short, the gales of rain and screaming wind made it seem like it took forever. They walked with their rain jackets zipped up to the chin, their hoods tightened around their heads and bodies hunched over.

This storm was like nothing Raven had ever experienced before. And here they were, right smack in the middle of it.

“I fucking hope this is worth it,” Murphy said, straining his voice to be heard over the wind. He followed up with a string of curses, but they were too quiet for Raven to hear.

Raven sighs in relief when they finally arrive at Clarke and Bellamy’s housing tree. Murphy hurls the glass door open and shuffled her inside the base of the tree before shutting it behind them. Then, they take the lift up to the fourth floor.

Bellamy answers the door quickly after Raven knocks. He takes one look at the soggy appearance and gestures to a few hooks on the wall. “You can hang your coats there,” he tells them.

“Geez, what a reception,” Murphy mutters. “No thank you for making the trek all the way out here? I would’ve thought better of the almighty Blakes, and _oh my fucking god what the hell is that?”_

Raven spins around quickly after hanging her rain jacket to see what Murphy is talking about. There, on the kitchen table, Clarke has set down a huge jar. In it, is the head of one of the aliens.

“Gross,” Raven says as she comes to take a closer look at it. “Man, these things are ugly.”

“I’m the only one that’s freaked out about a pickled head on your table?” Murphy says, glancing around the room at all of them.

Raven ignores him, crouching down on the ground to see the head at eye-level. “Formaldehyde?” she asks, looking up at Clarke, who nods. “How’d you manage to get this done without me?”

She hears someone clear their throats behind them, and Raven turns to see Eleanor pop out from a bedroom with Madi in tow.

“She asked me,” Eleanor says.

“You know chemistry?” Raven says, trying to mask the surprise in her voice. She fails.

“Before I got on Russel’s cabinet, I worked for Eden’s biotech hub—working with GMOs and developing formulas to bolster our food and plant resources,” she explains, and Raven can’t help but feeling impressed.

“I thought you said she was a non-threat,” Raven says to Clarke. “Someone Russell deliberately keeps in the dark.”

“I was wrong,” Clarke says.

Murphy snorts. “You don’t hear those words every day,” he says and Bellamy glares at him.

“Why?” Raven asks Eleanor point blank. “You know we’re going behind Russell’s back. Why are you sticking your neck out?”

A shadow passes over Eleanor’s eyes and she steels herself, holding her chin high in the air. The bubbly blonde is gone. For the first time, Raven sees an equal—maybe there’s more to her than meets the eye.

“Because I want to find out the truth,” Eleanor says.

They sit around the kitchen table, all staring into the glass jar. While disgusting, it’s inherently fascinating to Raven.  She taps on the surface making a clinking sound in the dead silence. The unseeing alien creature still has his eyes open, his mouth slight agape in a twisted expression. The formaldehyde has preserved the body part extremely well. Raven doesn’t have to be a genius to know that this is the other that bit Murphy.

“I thought the plan was to bring back the entire body,” Raven says.

“We wanted to,” Bellamy responds. “But we had nowhere to hide it. Clarke’s office is too small, and the smell would have alerted anyone within a 10 foot radius.”

“The head made the most sense,” Clarke says, jumping in. “I was hoping to study its brain, see if I could find some similarities.”

“Similarities to what?” Murphy rests his elbows on the kitchen table.

“To us,” Madi pipes in.

They all fall into a long silence, contemplating this new information. These alien creatures are similar to them? It seemed almost too bizarre to comprehend. Yes, they were shaped similarly—they had two arms and two legs. But the others were not some advanced alien civilization. They were animals.

Then again, humans are animals themselves—in more ways than one.

Loud knocking interrupts the quiet bubble they found themselves in. Bellamy gets up from the table and lets two more people inside. Shaw and Emori.

“Sorry we’re late,” Emori says, unzipping her jacket. “It’s miserable out there.”

It strikes Raven then that she never told Murphy who Emori was hooking up with. She sees him eye Shaw warily, his eyes zeroing in on the way Shaw grabs Emori’s hand as they make their way to the dining table. Murphy turns to Raven, a tick in his jaw.

She lays a hand on his thigh. They can talk about this later.

Clarke fills Shaw and Emori in on the little they’ve discussed, and like Raven, Emori’s face betrays her shock when she sees Eleanor is working with them. Raven still doesn’t fully trust her, but she’s willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Besides, if Russell finds out what they’re doing, all of them will be declared guilty under Eden law.

That’s what Clarke gathered them together to say.

“This will be considered treason,” Clarke says. “We may not be trying to overthrow Russell, but something tells me that the truth about these creatures has potential to change everything in Eden. People are not going to like that.”

“So what do you need us to do?” Murphy asks.

Clarke turns to Emori and Shaw. “You guys went on that mission to observe a colony. Did you see anything?”

“They kept us inside the transport ship the entire time,” Shaw says.

“But we could hear. It was awfully loud,” Emori adds.

Bellamy furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”

Emori nods. “Their screeches, as if they were being—”

“Burned.”

They all turn to Eleanor. The color has drained from her face. She looks like she has just seen a ghost, or at the very least, put some disturbing puzzle pieces together in her brain. “Burned,” she repeats. “They burned them.”

“We would’ve seen the smoke from the cockpit,” Shaw says dismissively.

Clarke hones in on Eleanor, leaning across the table toward her. “Why do you say they burned them?”

Eleanor swallows. “If you check the logs,” she says, “Eden schedules a prescribed burn every three months or so—to restore nutrients to over-harvested land. Since you guys have showed up, we’ve been having one every couple of weeks. I thought it was weird, but Russell said it was because we were having a bad crop year. . .”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Murphy says. “Why would he build an army to ‘keep the peace’ with these things if he’s barbecuing them on the regular?”

Raven turns back to the floating alien head on the table. She examines it closely, seeing the wrinkles of skin around the nostrils and eyes. She racks her brain for anything she remembers about the incident where Murphy was bit, trying to come up with some sort of plausible explanation for why this is happening and what the burns have to do with the growing number of others.

“What if. . .” she looks away from the alien’s head and at her friends. “What if the burns aren’t meant to kill them? What if they’re meant to drive them out of their colonies?”

“Why would Russell want that?” Eleanor asks. She rubs at her temples. “This makes no sense.”

“Fear,” Madi says, and they all stare at her. “Russell wants us to be afraid of them. If we’re afraid of what’s outside Eden, none of our people will leave the safety of the gates.” Madi looks pointedly at Raven. “And definitely not those with babies on the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly longer chapter for a slightly longer wait!


	16. Paint it black

After they had all gotten their fill of looking at the alien head, Clarke had put it away and replaced it with dinner plates. They needed an excuse as to why they all met in case someone spotted them on their way to or from Clarke and Bellamy’s place. Dinner was plausible. That’s what normal friends did on their spare time.

But they weren’t normal.

Dinner was tense. Murphy kept staring daggers at Shaw, and Shaw stared back, refusing to back down. Emori and Raven did their best to ignore their peacocking. Poor Eleanor didn’t know how to react, so she ended up talking to Madi for most of dinner while Bellamy and Clarke did that silent communication thing of theirs.

As they were leaving, Murphy just couldn’t resist himself. The lift was small, and so they let Emori and Shaw go down first. But not before Murphy got a word in.

“You hurt her, and I’ll gut you like a fish and leave you for the others,” he threatened.

Shaw responds with a wry smile. “Where do you come up with these?”

The doors closed before Murphy could reply. Raven did see Emori roll her eyes though.

When Murphy turns to her, Raven has her hands on her hips. She arches one of her eyebrows.

“That one was tame,” Murphy says. “Considering I told him I’d flay him alive if he treated you wrong.”

“One day, someone’s going to think you’re serious,” she says.

“Who says I’m not?”

It’s still raining when Murphy and Raven finally make it down to the ground, but it has let up significantly. She slides on her hood, squinting against the cold water droplets that dot her face. Regardless, this weather truly is miserable.

“I’m starting to miss the infernal heatwave,” Raven says.

Murphy zips his rain jacket up to his neck, and outstretches his hand toward her. Raven takes it, and they start walking toward the singles’ units.

“The snow will be here soon,” Murphy says. “Or that’s what people keep saying. Then we’ll have those six months of bitter cold and you’ll wish it was raining.”

She scoffs. “I highly doubt that.”

Murphy chuckles, his thumb stroking hers. It must be her pregnancy hormones, because that small gesture makes her heart swell. She tries to hide the small smile that forms on her lips, but Murphy sees it. She spots him looking at her from the corner of his eye.

“You’re getting soft on me, Reyes,” he says.

“In your wet dreams,” she quips.

“As a matter of fact, yes,” Murphy pulls her close. “You are the star of all my wet dreams lately.”

“Gross.” Then after a beat, she adds, “What do we do in these fantasies of yours?”

He smirks. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

She peers at him through her lashes. “I’d rather you show me, actually. Unless…You’re too _tired_.”

 Murphy barks out a laugh. “There it is. I knew you would bring up last night sooner or later.”

“I mean really, it couldn’t have been longer than three minutes—at most.”

“You came first,” he says.

“Yeah, but I can come multiple times,” she sasses.

Murphy hand snakes down from her waist to grip her hip. “Of that, I’m very well aware,” he says, and Raven suppresses the shiver his words send down her spine. They had some good times in his tent.

She slows to a stop and Murphy does too, his eyes twinkling with curiosity. She doesn’t care that they’re in the middle of Eden, in plain view of anyone that may be looking out of the unit windows. Raven tilts her chin up. “So?” she challenges. “Are you just going to let me talk smack about your skills? Or are you going to put me in my place?” She bites her lip, her eyebrows lifting once in a playful manner.

He answers by crashing his lips to hers. She can feel his eyelashes on her eyelids, his rain slicked skin cold against hers. Raven tugs him closer to her, one of her hands coming to grasp his jaw as the other holds him to her by the nape of his neck. She doesn’t think she’ll ever get tired of this.

Murphy pulls away, giving her a mischievous smile before taking her hand and leading her into the woods surrounding Eden. Considering what they know now about the others, and their likely proximity, it’s probably a bad idea to stray too close to the outer edges of the settlement. But there’s a gate, she tells herself. Her heart is a thumping bass drum in her chest.

In that moment, she feels alive.

Once the main path is no longer visible, Murphy steers her gently so her back is pressed up against the ridged bark of a growing sequoia. She doesn’t waste any time and pulls him to her by his jacket.

There’s no spot on her face his lips don’t graze. Her forehead, her eyelids, the slope of her nose, her chin… He’s everywhere.

Raven reaches in between them and unzips his jacket. He shrugs it off his body, the rain soaking his faded cotton blue shirt. He does the same to her, and soon, her white tee has gone transparent, showing the tan of her skin.

Murphy’s hair falls over his eyes. He’s breathing harshly, and so is she.

They make quick work of the remainder of their clothes, including her brace. Raven needs him, and she needs him now.

He hoists her up, helping her wind her legs around his waist. Her eyes almost roll to the back of her head when she feels him pressing up to where she needs him most.

“One of these days,” he whispers against her neck, “you’re going to let me taste you.”

“Stop talking,” she says, and he smiles against her neck.

When he finally enters her, Raven lets her head tilt back against the bark of the tree. He keeps a steady pace this time, and it drives her mad. She wants him to…She needs him to…

Never mind. Whatever he’s doing is working.

Raven lets out a breathy moan. If someone would’ve told her that one day, she’d be having sex with someone outside, against a _goddamned tree_ , she would have laughed in their face. But yet, here she was.

Time is an abstract concept. They could’ve made love for hours, or maybe just minutes.

Of one thing she was absolutely sure—Murphy was it for her. There would be no one else.

 

* * *

 

Spending the night apart was harder than she had anticipated. After putting on their sopping clothes—a borderline impossible feat that took quite a bit of effort— Murphy walked her back to her unit. She could tell he didn’t want to leave her, and she felt the same. But Jordan was no longer on a mission, and Emori would be back to their room that night.

Raven ended up tossing and turning half of the night, having trouble finding a comfortable position to sleep.

It’s why she’s extra thankful when Emori brews up a pot of coffee in the morning. They don’t have it very often. Kainos doesn’t have a plant similar to Earth’s that produces coffee grains, and so it is produced synthetically in Agro. It’s kind of expensive compared to a lot of the food items on the market.

They sip their steaming mugs quietly. It’s one of the nice things about having Emori as a roommate—she doesn’t feel the need to fill the air with meaningless chatter. Believe it or not, you do run out of things to talk about when stuck in space for over half a decade (unless you’re Murphy). Not only did they learn how to co-exist in close living quarters, but they learned how to be quiet together.

The rain continues to batter the roof over their heads, and the overcast day lets in little light into their unit.

Shortly after finishing her cup of coffee, Raven reaches for the press to pour herself another, but Emori blocks her hand.

“Too much caffeine is bad for the baby,” she says.

Raven sends an annoyed glance her way. “We don’t have caffeine every day,” she says, but Emori doesn’t budge. “Fine.” Emori was right of course. Her pregnancy pamphlets have warned her that too much caffeine could result in low birth weights, and even miscarriage. But her mouth was still practically salivating at the thought of another cup.

“So are you and John thinking of moving in together?” Emori asks after a beat.

“Possibly,” Raven says. “We haven’t talked about it, but I imagine things are headed that way.”

“You should talk about it. Aren’t you entering your second trimester soon?”

“You know, you’re awfully invested into this pregnancy,” Raven says, eyes full of mirth. “You sure you don’t want one of your own?”

“Don’t change the subject,” Emori says, her lips forming a small smile. “You guys should have that conversation sooner rather than later. Bellamy says family units are a pain in the ass to clean and get ready, since the majority have been empty for so long. You don’t want to have to do that when you’ve ballooned.”

Raven makes a face. “Thanks for reminding me how fat I’m going to get,” she says, and Emori shrugs her off. “I’ll talk to Murphy about it today. Happy?”

Emori nods, pleased with herself. She gets up to clear their cups.

Raven reaches for another berry, popping it her mouth. “I bet you just want me out so you can have more sleepovers with Shaw,” she says, and Emori rolls her eyes playfully.

“It’s not my fault you traded gold for silver,” Emori quips.

Raven’s eyes bug out of her head as she barks out a laugh. She has to put a hand over her mouth to stifle the sound, because Emori has totally caught her by surprise. Emori smiles from her place by the kitchen sink, her eyes lit up. They had some good times on the ring, but this is probably the happiest Raven has ever seen her.

When her laughter calms down, subdued to short heaving waves, Raven holds up a finger. “Because I feel like I must defend Murphy, I will like to state on the record that I completely disagree with your statement.”

“I would hope you would,” Emori says, taking a look at her watch. “Alright, I’m off. My shift starts in 15.” She waves before zipping out the door.

Come to think of it, Raven should be heading out too. She’s got a long workload ahead of her. It doesn’t matter what century it is, Mondays royally suck.

A few of her co-workers smile at her when she walks in. Raven acknowledges them with a nod, making a bee-line toward her work station. It’s not hard to decipher which is hers.

Unlike the majority of her co-workers, who work neatly and keep their white workbench and computer spotless, Raven’s is a cluttered mess of grease, spare parts and random blueprints. Her computer constantly has at least 15 tabs open at the same time.

She simply doesn’t bother with wiping down her station at the end of every shift unless she’s spilled something. It’s just going to get dirty again.

Lately, they have her and Uriah—her bench mate who’s thankfully just as messy as her— tinkering with improving Eden’s heat system. During routine checks preparing for the coming winter, Raven found a kink in the whole system, one that’s been there for god knows how long. It’s been wasting countless energy resources for years.

In front of her, she has a standard heating grid. All of Eden operates on the same system: One main electrical grid, with a network of wires and circuits sending waves of energy through the pipes connecting it all. The deficiency isn’t in the pipes. It’s in the grid itself.

While it’s an engineering wonder that Eden has been able to operate on renewable electrical energy alone, without relying on biomass, fossil fuels or even the help of a pump, the way the system is set up is inefficient. When not in use, the grid is still giving off energy, which dissipates into nothing in the pipes.

It’s another morning full of trial and error. But she’s so close to the fixing the issue, she can feel it.

Sometime before noon, she tries something different with the grid. She hooks it to her computer, and runs a few more diagnostic tests. She sees the grid glow blue, and get very, very hot, as it powers up. With a few keystrokes, Raven is able to shut it down again, and the grid cools back into grey.

Bingo.

“Jones,” she says, calling for her overseer. “Looks like you owe me 10 credits.”

The dark-skinned man turns from his corner desk, surprise coloring his features. “You fixed it?”

“I told you I’d get it done today,” she smirks.

He comes around to inspect her work, and Raven explains to him what she did. She walks him through the diagnostic, pointing animatedly to the various problems that she was able to remedy. Jones nods at the end, impressed.

“Well Reyes,” he says, digging in his pocket for coins before dropping them on her work bench. “I think I’ve learned not to bet against you ever again, or else I’ll need to get a second job.”

Raven smiles, pleased.

Jones points to Uriah. “Teach him what you did, and then Uriah—I want you to take Deidre and start correcting the grids around the settlement. Winter will be here before we know it.”

“Uh, I’m sorry,” Raven interjects. “I should be going with Uriah. I fixed the damn thing.” She shoots an apologetic look at Deidre. “No offense,” Raven adds. Deidre holds up her hands as if to say, none taken.

“The maintenance shoots in the trees are a bit… narrow,” Jones says. “In your condition, I wouldn’t—”

“In my condition? C’mon Jones. I’m pregnant, not invalid.” She looks down at herself. “Besides, I’m still skinny as ever.”

“And to be fair, Jones,” Uriah says, stepping into the conversation. “I think my gut is bigger than hers at this point.”

Jones can’t help but smile, and Raven crosses her arms with a small shrug. “I mean, I wasn’t going to say that,” she says. “But he did.”

“And the baby’s father?” Jones presses. “Is he going to be okay with you doing this? Trekking up maintenance ladders and messing with wiring?”

“I could tell Murphy I dismantled a bomb at work today and he wouldn’t even blink.”

Jones closes his eyes and sighs tiredly. Raven smiles because she knows that she’s won. Part of her feels a little bad because she’s stressing Jones out, but oh well.

 “Has anyone told you that you’re a force of nature, Reyes?” Jones said.

“Not today,” she replies as she tugs on her rain jacket.

 

* * *

 

Later, when she and Uriah are walking back to the tech hub after spending the day fixing the heating grid in the couples unit sector, Raven spots a standalone building hidden amongst the overgrown brush behind the sequoias.

She points at it with her chin, water dripping down the sides of her hood in rivulets. “Hey, Uriah. What’s that back there?”

Uriah squints to make out what she’s referring to. “Oh that? Just an old maintenance shed. No one uses it anymore—not after a flood damaged it back in 2262.”

Raven hums nonchalantly. “Seems like a waste.”

Uriah shrugs. “I’m sure everyone’s forgotten about it by now.”

 

* * *

 

She’s exhausted by the time she clocks out. But it’s a good kind of exhausted. Being here in Eden, for better or worse, has restored a sense of normalcy in her life—one that she hadn’t felt since living on the Ark before Finn was locked up.

That all seems like a lifetime ago. And it was.

Though she didn’t trust Russell, not even a little bit, Eden had become home. It was safe. For now, that was enough. It was more than they’d had for a long time.

Her plans for the evening include taking a long hot bath, winding down on the couch with a steaming plate of something hearty—she’s craving bread and the mess hall’s chili— and watching a lighthearted pre-apocalypse flick.

However, the universe has other plans. As she’s gathering some sleep clothes to take with her to the bathroom, her data pad pings on her dresser with its all-too-familiar electronic jingle. Why did she get one of these again?

She glances over at the screen, half-expecting and half-hoping for it to be Murphy. She wouldn’t mind calculating some alone time with him in her evening plans.

But it’s actually Abby, and what the message says flushes her plans down the drain. She needs to get to the hospital now.

Raven rushes as fast as she can, her heart beating wildly in her chest. _God-fucking damnit._

Once at the hospital, she is redirected to the west wing, and just walking the corridor reminds her of the night she spent here watching over Murphy. She makes a sharp right turn, and finds the room she was instructed to go to.

She pulls the door open and bulldozes inside. She almost hits Murphy with the door, but he side-steps just in time. She quickly pecks him on the lips in greeting. “How is he?”

The question is directed at Abby. She’s standing beside the hospital bed, and Raven gets her first look at Jordan.

He’s bare from the waist up, and her eyes zero in on his gash. The area surrounding it has turned a ghostly white, and the veins of his skin around it have changed to black. They spider out from his wound like burned branches in a devastated forest.

“I’ve stopped it from spreading,” Abby says, then quieter, almost under her breath, she adds, “whatever _it_ is.”

Raven comes around to Jordan’s side, noticing Octavia standing in the corner of the room for the first time.

“I’m okay,” Jordan assures her.

“He’s not,” Octavia says with a shake of her head. “He most definitely is not.”

Jordan shoots her a look, and Octavia stares at him blankly in return. Seriously, what was it with the Blakes and their ways of silent communication? Raven’s eyes flit between the both of them quickly, before turning back to Abby.

“Is this the allergic reaction you warned Murphy about when he got bit?”

Abby shakes her head. “No one knows what this is. If it had been an allergic reaction, he would have just felt numbness. It certainly shouldn’t look like…that.”

Raven reaches over to touch the affected area on his stomach, but Abby stops her. “No, don’t,” she says, and Raven retracts her hand. “We don’t know if it’s contagious.”

Murphy pushes himself from the wall he was leaning up against, striding over with his hands in his pockets. He has a wave of soot below his jaw. He must’ve come straight from work. “I would have rather you didn’t come, just to be safe, but…” he trails off. “Here we are.”

“She’s more likely to catch your sniffling than contract anything from Jordan just by being in the same room as him,” Octavia says.

“Sniffling?” Raven looks at Murphy. “You catch a cold or something?”

Jordan huffs from the bed. “Are you kidding? He spent all night sneezing and coughing. If anyone is contagious, it’s him.” Jordan looks at Abby.

Raven works hard to keep a grin from flooding her features. She and Murphy exchange a knowing look. “Your immune system sucks, Murphy.”

Abby nods. “You need to wear your rain coat, John. This is prime time for colds.”

Then, Jordan lets out a pain-stricken grunt, his lips sealed tightly over his mouth as his chest convulses with pain. Murphy pulls Raven away from the bed by her shoulders, and they all watch as a black goo starts oozing out from Jordan’s wound.

Abby quickly takes a small test tube and presses it against his skin, collecting the substance—was it blood?— and capping it for later examination.

“Whatever it is, your body is rejecting it,” Abby says.

“That’s a good thing, right?” Octavia asks, having come closer as she and Murphy backed away.

“It’s a start.”

It doesn’t take long until Clarke and Bellamy arrive. By then, Jordan has expelled some of the substance twice more. The spidery black veins haven’t faded, but the black goo had a twinge of red that last time. Clarke had to do a double-take when she first saw Jordan. Raven could see why—it looked a lot like nightblood.

But it wasn’t. Clarke said she suspected the others carried venom in their claws as well, and that perhaps that venom was different from the one in their saliva. Not that there were many well-documented cases of humans getting attacked by others—at least not at Clarke’s disposal—but she said there were even fewer about people getting scratched by them.

“How did you stop the venom from spreading?” Clarke asks her mom.

Abby holds up a syringe. “I injected him with this—it’s the antidote for bites.”

“And then he started spewing this back through the wound?” Abby nods.

Bellamy comes to rest his hands on Clarke’s shoulders. Raven sees the dark purple circles under her eyes, which are fixed to a point on the floor. Raven can almost see the gears grinding in her brain, and wonders when was the last time Clarke relaxed. She hasn’t seen her this high-strung since they left Earth.

“None of this makes any sense,” she says at last.

Jordan grunts again, and more of the black goo leaves his body. The tail end is more blood, and Raven breathes a slight sigh of relief. At least this is passing. Clarke takes the test tube from Abby and starts heading to her office.

“Wait,” Raven calls. “I’ll go with you.”

Clarke nods once, and they take off to figure out whatever the hell this is. Raven only hopes they find out what it is in time to help Jordan.


	17. Fever

Clarke is walking like her ass is on fire. She’s rounding corners inside the hospital like a spaceship dodging meteors.

Raven understands the urgency. This is Jordan they’re talking about. But what her heart and mind want her to do versus what her physical body _can_ do are two different things. She just can’t keep up with Clarke, and the effort is starting to hurt her left hip.

“Clarke, wait up,” Raven calls, stopping in the middle of the hallway to catch her breath, her hands on her hips. “Pregnant one-legged woman here.”

Clarke stops in her tracks, sending an apologetic look her way. Her whole body is rigid, and Raven closes the distance between them. “We need to hurry,” Clarke says, her voice a sharp whisper. There’s no one in the hallway, but one could never be too careful.

“What we need to do is take a second to think,” Raven says. “You don’t have the equipment to analyze that vial in your office.” Clarke opens her mouth to respond, but Raven waves her off. “You know you don’t, and we passed your office like five minutes ago. We’re running around in circles.”

“We need to do something,” Clarke says, her face full of anguish. “What if he—”

“He won’t,” Raven says.

Clarke sighs, brushing her hair behind her ears. “Monty and Harper entrusted him to us—their only son. We had _one_ job. To keep him safe. And now…”

 “Now we figure out what is wrong with him,” Raven says. “But we can’t do it here. So think. Where do we go?”

Raven can see the moment the lightbulb goes off in Clarke’s head. And once again, she takes off down the hallway in a hurry. “I know who can help us,” she says.

They meet Eleanor outside the old schoolhouse. It’s almost dark outside, but her petite form is recognizable in the light drizzle. When Clarke told her she wanted to call her for help, Raven had to quell her suspicions about Eleanor in order to go along with the plan. Clarke may trust her, but Raven isn’t quite there yet.

In any case, Clarke was right. This was about understanding what was going on with Jordan as soon as possible. If that meant teaming up with someone Raven wasn’t completely sure they could trust, then so be it.

“How is he?” Eleanor asks when they approach her. She has a black umbrella shielding her from the rain, and she nervously whirls it around her hand as she awaits their response.

“It’s not good,” Clarke says. She looks around, and upon seeing no one, she takes the vial out of her raincoat. “Have you ever seen something like this?”

Eleanor shakes her head. “But, I promised you a lab, so...” She leads them around the side of the building, opening a creaky gate near the playground. They follow her as she heads toward the back of the school. Clarke fills her in on what the vial contains and how they got it. Eleanor seems just as confused as they are.

She climbs up a broken window, narrowly avoiding cutting herself or snagging her clothes on the remaining glass shards. After a couple minutes, they hear a nearby door swing open and Eleanor motions them inside.

Raven gags at the musty stale smell that lingers inside the building. Eleanor seems to have let them in through a cafeteria door. An eerie feeling crawls up Raven’s spine as she takes in the room before them. Long wooden picnic tables line the large square space. There is a small stage pushed up against one side, opposite of a serving area.

Apart from the layers of dust over every visible surface, it almost looks like a throng of children could enter the room and line up to receive their lunches at any moment.

“Raven,” Clarke calls, and she notices her and Eleanor standing across the room at a doorway.

She apologizes and follows them. In the back of the building, they climb a flight of stairs to the second story. Eleanor tells them that, back when the schoolhouse was being used, the younger kids were taught on the first floor and the older ones on the second. Teens finished their formal schooling at 16, and then they entered into a three-year apprenticeship in the hub of their choosing.

Eleanor peers into classroom windows. “Since the school closed, parents who were able to have children were made responsible for their education,” she explains. “My mom took care of that with me. She worked in the biotech hub, and she wanted me to follow in her footsteps.” A rueful smile crosses her lips. “But no, I wanted to be a nurse.”

“But you ended up in the biotech hub anyways?” Raven opens a door, and sees a standard classroom. She shuts it.

“Only after she got sick,” Eleanor says. “Red fever is one of the worst ways to go. I wanted to make her happy.”

“I’ve seen some of the medical texts on red fever,” Clarke comments as they walk. “It sounds brutal.”

“That’s one way to describe it,” Eleanor says, and seeing Raven’s inquisitive expression, she elaborates. “When someone gets red fever, their body temperature permanently skyrockets and their skin starts thinning out. It gets to a point where you can see all the muscle fibers and veins as clear as the hair on your head. It’s not a short ordeal. It takes _years_ until they die.”

“Jesus,” Raven lets out a puff of breath. “How do you get it?”

Eleanor shrugs, sadness flooding her features. “That’s the thing. No one really knows. It’s not a virus, or even a bacteria. Something triggers your body to stop producing skin cells, and over time, you waste away to nothing. Your hair falls out, teeth, nails…”

“So why not put an end to it as soon as you know you have it?” Raven asks. “I mean, if you’re going to be miserable until you die, why not put an end to your life sooner?”

“Most people do,” Eleanor says. “But my mom wanted…” She sucks in a breath, backing away from a window. “My mom really wanted to see me get married and have a family. So she held on as long as she could, even if it was for nothing.”

Raven doesn’t know what to say to that, so she stays silent.

It explains why Eleanor was so adamant about marrying a non-sterile man and having children. It was literally her mom’s dying wish. Raven can’t fathom the amount of pressure something like that could place on someone, especially Eleanor, who seems to always want to please everyone.

At last, Clarke opens a door and lets out a sigh of relief. “This looks like a lab,” she says, and they all file inside.

And a lab it is. Two rows of two-person workbenches fill the majority of the dark space, along with the remains of a teacher’s desk in the corner. It’s been cleared out for the most part, but the microscopes remain covered in the students’ side. A poster of the periodic table is still hanging prominently on the back wall, the left corner peeled downwards.

On one side of the room, Raven sees more equipment—burners, beakers, balances and even a chemical synthesis reactor.

“Sorry the equipment is kind of archaic,” Eleanor says as she pulls the cover out off a microscope. “Can you make do?”

“Are you kidding?” Clarke snorts. “This is significantly better than anything we had on the ground.”

Raven looks around, squinting due to the lack of light. “We won’t get far without power,” she says. “Can you lead me to the electrical panel?” she asks Eleanor.

“I don’t know where it is,” she responds with a shrug. “But I can help you look for it.”

They leave Clarke to do her thing, and frankly, Raven isn’t sure she even notices they’re gone. Logic tells her that the electrical panel is likely back on the first floor, so they wander back downstairs. Raven asks Eleanor if the school has a basement, but she tells her that’s unlikely. So they search for some type of maintenance closet, which they find near the cafeteria.

“Bingo,” Raven says as she spots the panel. Now this…This is how she can be useful.

Eleanor watches her as she opens the back of the panel to take a look at the wiring and circuits. She takes a seat on an upturned bucket. As the minutes pass, Raven looks over her shoulder.

“So, how long was your mom sick?” she asks.

“Six years,” Eleanor replies, and Raven whistles.

“Must’ve loved you a lot to hold on that long.”

Even though her back is turned, Raven can hear the sad smile that she’s probably sporting in Eleanor’s voice. “She was a good mom.” After a beat, she asks, “What about you? How’d you get to be such a kickass mechanic?”

Raven grins. Credit where credit is due. “Well, my mom wasn’t so good,” she says. “She drank a lot, didn’t take care of me, and overall wasn’t the best person to be around. I made up my mind really early on that I would be nothing like her when I grew up—and I wasn’t. I became the Ark’s youngest Zero-G mechanic by the time I was 18. By then, my mom was long gone.”

Eleanor doesn’t say anything for a while, and Raven concentrates on isolating the wiring responsible for lighting up the area by the chemistry classroom. She doesn’t want to accidentally light up the whole school. That would definitely grant them some unwanted attention, and though figuring out what’s wrong with Jordan isn’t illegal, they don’t want the word getting out there that they’re doing unauthorized research.

“What was it like?” Eleanor asks. “In space?” Her words carry an edge of marvel, and Raven understands why. Living among the stars is almost too fantastical of a concept, yet that’s exactly where 90 percent of her existence has been spent.

“It’s…” Raven struggles to find the right words. It almost feels like describing color without knowing their names. “Space was safe,” she says, at last. “It wasn’t perfect, not by any means, but it was home. No matter whether we were living among thousands, or just a handful of us.” She sighs. “Living in a planet, Earth or Kainos, has never stopped being a wildcard.”

Finally, she’s able to turn on the lights, though they do have to go back up and check. But sure enough, the portion of the hallway by the chemistry classroom is lit with a flickering fluorescent light, and Raven sees light also flooding into the hallways below the door.

They’ve only been gone about 15 minutes, but Clarke has already set up shop. She’s got several beakers running with various clear-colored liquids, and she’s fully utilizing the classroom’s chemicals that were left behind.

Clarke’s eyes land on Eleanor as they walk back inside. “Oh good, you’re back,” she says. “I need a blood donor.”

 

* * *

 

Raven feels it’s best to stay out of Clarke’s way while she’s working. She lingers around in case Clarke needs her, but chemistry has never been her forte. What she _is_ good at is scavenging for parts, and that’s what she does.

She starts by opening drawers and cabinets in the classroom to see what was left behind. Mostly everything below counter level is useless—the fast floods that Eden has experienced in the last few decades have destroyed everything that could have been salvaged. In fact, she opened one of the drawers in the teacher’s desk only to shut it immediately due to the smell that permeated the air once exposed. Whatever the teacher had stored in there is not only long gone, but absorbed into some sort of coagulated moldy mass.

But the numerous microscopes in the room? Yeah, Raven can do something with those.

She’s taking the apart at one of the student stations when they hear a booming clatter coming from downstairs. Raven glances at the open door in confusion.

“That’s Bellamy,” Clarke says. “I radioed him when you guys were downstairs powering up the classroom.”

Raven sees the small white Eden radio clipped to Clarke’s waist. Eleanor, Teddy and Russell all have one too. The Cabinet needs to be able to communicate. “So Russell knows we’re here?” she asks.

“I spoke in trigedasleng,” Clarke answers distractedly.

“That’s not suspicious at all,” Raven says, and heaves herself off her stool with a sigh. “I’ll go get him.”

She’s the most logical choice as Eleanor is helping Clarke with their science experiment. Raven wanders down the stairs and hears two distinctly familiar voices. As if Bellamy was ever going to come alone. She finds them wiping shards of glass with their boots from the window they’ve just broken.

Raven leans against the doorframe, and when she speaks, Bellamy and Murphy both jump. “You know we left the cafeteria door open, right?” Her eyes widen when she takes in the long line of blood sliding down Bellamy’s arm. “Jesus Christ, Bell.” She searches for something to help staunch the blood, but anything in this room is bound to give him the mother of all infections.

As usual, though, Bellamy’s got it. He rips a strip from the bottom of his shirt and ties it over his wound. “Where’s Clarke?” Are the first words out of his mouth.

“Upstairs, with Eleanor,” Raven motions with her head for them to follow. On the way, Murphy hands her a paper bag.

“Dinner,” he says. “You need to eat.”

She thanks him, squeezing his hand. Her stomach had been grumbling earlier.

In the time since she last saw him, he’s developed a bad cough. He’s trying to stifle it, but she knows the stale air in the building isn’t helping. “You should have stayed with Jordan,” she says. “This isn’t going to help your cold.”

Bellamy sees the light up ahead from the chemistry classroom, and she and Murphy stop in the hallway while he heads inside.

“I’m fine,” he says and she raises an eyebrow. “What? I’ll take a little snot any day if that means we get a repeat.”

Raven pushes him away with her hand when he comes closer. “Gross,” she says, but her words carry no malice.

They come inside the classroom and enter right smack dab in the middle of a rapid conversation between Eleanor, Bellamy and Clarke. Raven sits down on the stool at the station she was taking the microscope apart at, and Murphy pulls up next to her after finding another.

She unwraps the cheese and boar ham sandwich that he’s brought her, listening as Bellamy catches them all of up on Jordan’s state.

He’s stopped expelling more of the black liquid, which Clarke has determined is some sort of final transformation for the alien’s venom. With Eleanor’s blood, she’s been able to see how the venom attacks the red blood cells, attempting to break them down and alter them into more venom.

“When my mom administered the antidote, it stopped the process,” Clarke explains.

“But the damage has already been done,” Eleanor finishes.

Bellamy nods. “The skin hasn’t regained its normal color. Jordan has lost all feeling in that area.”

“As he would,” Clarke says. “It’s killed all the muscles and tissues.”

Murphy whistles. “And they said zombies were impossible,” he quips, and Raven rolls her eyes.

“It’s stopped spreading, though, right?” Raven asks Bellamy.

“Yes, but it’s started to smell…Abby’s worried about infection.”

Murphy leans forward in the workstation, clearing his throat. “If the flesh is dead, why doesn’t Abby just cut it out of him?”

“Jordan’s a human, not a turkey,” Eleanor says, looking to the others to gauge their opinions.

Clarke’s brow furrows. She picks up the hospital beeper from her waistband. They all stare at her as she types out a message for Abby. She hits send without consulting them and Raven knows exactly what she’s told her to do.

“If your right causes you to stumble, pluck it out,” she whispers. “It could be the only way to save his life, especially when we don’t understand what else this could turn out to be in the long run.”

Raven shuts her eyes, but nods. Saving Jordan, no matter how, was the priority today. And he is in good hands.

“Stem cell research has come a long way from your times,” Eleanor offers. “He’ll recover.”

But her words carry a tone of sadness. Something told Raven that Jordan’s recovery was not going to be easy. It also wasn’t guaranteed that cutting the affected skin would save him from the condition spreading. It was worth a try, though.

“What we need to do is see a colony for ourselves,” Raven says.

“Agreed,” Bellamy says. “And there’s a window of opportunity to do just that. I’ve been assigned to be deployed on a mission next month that’s going to ‘corral’” he uses air quotes, “a colony of these things. We can make sure Murphy, Octavia and Echo get assigned to the same mission. Maybe even sneak a couple of you guys onboard. And then we bring back one of them—alive.”

Clarke looks up at Bellamy, and there’s a twinge of fear in her eyes. But it’s overwhelmed by determination. Clarke is going to be on that mission.

“If you sneak me onboard, I can help fly the vessel,” Raven says.

Murphy beats everyone to the punch before they can say anything. “I don’t fucking think so,” he says. Raven feels her eyebrows shoot up her forehead.

“Excuse you?”

“You heard me,” Murphy says. “You’re not leaving Eden. It’s too dangerous.”

Raven scoffs. “And since when do you tell me what to do?”

“He’s right, Raven,” Bellamy chimes in. “In a month, you’re going to be what? 18, 20 weeks along? That’s too big a risk.”

Raven sulks. They’re right, of course. But she’s not used to not being part of the action, in some way or another. It makes her feel useless…And restless.

“So what can I do from here?” she says, pivoting the conversation since she knows none of them are going to let her take a step outside of Eden anytime soon.

“You can help us find a place to keep the other in,” Clarke says.

Raven smirks. “Too easy. I know just the place.”


	18. Two for two

The mission gets delayed.

In fact, everything changes. Because, just as they were warned, the torrential downpour suddenly turned to icy rain. And in the span of a few days, Eden wakes up blanketed in pure white snow.

To say that it has caught them unaware is an understatement. With everything that has been going on with the others, and Jordan—who’s still recovering in the hospital from the surgery— their focus has not been preparing for winter.

But, maybe they should have dedicated some time to it. Like everything else that has happened to them in the last few months, all the curveballs arrived in quick succession.

First, Jordan’s body rejected the synthetic stem cells administered to his wound for skin growth. He ended up developing an infection, and vomiting for hours. They tried again the next week, with stem cells harvested from his own bone marrow, and the second attempt thankfully proved to be successful.

Then, Murphy misses her 16 week checkup. It’s not his fault, he was deployed on a last minute mission to guard the farmers as they picked the last of the crop. She cried in the examination room when Abby stepped out to grab something she forgot—Raven was getting tired of going to those alone. When Abby returned, she blamed the tears on her hormones. Abby didn’t buy it, but she didn’t press her to talk. Everything is normal with the baby, though, so that’s good. Abby doesn’t even offer to do an ultrasound like she had talked about last time—she knows Raven wants Murphy to be there when they get their first look at their baby.

And when the weather changed, so did Eden. No more outdoor cafes, the market is squeezed into a small warehouse-like building on the other side of the settlement, and everyone goes home straight from work. It’s also dark by the time they get out. The two suns are gone by mid-afternoon.

Her pants also stopped buttoning at 18 weeks, which was an inconvenience to say the least. And while good things happened in the beginning of her second trimester—she gained her strength back, stopped morning sickness _for good_ and enjoyed the heck out of her spiked sexual drive— she’s not a fan of the way her feet have been swelling, or the ache in her lower back. She can’t sleep on her back anymore either, but that hasn’t been a problem since she’s spending most nights with Murphy in his single bed.

Despite all of that, these past eight weeks have also brought positives.

For one, they can’t hear the others at night anymore. The snow forces the majority of the colonies to go into hibernation, they’re told. There are a few stragglers here and there, but the army’s guarding missions are more of a precaution.

No others, and Jordan healing, means they can all finally take a breather. Clarke, especially.

She and Murphy finally buckled down and started the housing process. They applied for a family unit and if all goes according to plan, they’ll be ready to move into their own place in a couple of weeks.

The thought makes her smile as she gets dressed for the day, slipping on the softest pair of fur-lined leggings she has ever felt. She can see Murphy trimming his beard from the slightly ajar bathroom door. It’s not an unfamiliar sight—she’s seen him do it an infinite number of times over the six years they spent on the Ring.

 He’s humming. It’s…a little annoying if she’s being honest, but  at the same time, she’s not going to tell him to shut up. At least not today.

They have a right to be happy. Today, it’s time for her 20 week ultrasound, and Murphy is finally able to come with her.

“You know,” she mentions as Murphy puts down his razor, “we’re the ones that are going to see the baby, not the other way around. You’re putting in more effort than you need to.”

Murphy is unaffected. “Sounds like jealousy, Reyes.” He strides out of the bathroom, drying his hands on a towel.

“You never get dolled up for me,” she says.

He closes the distance between them, stepping in between her legs as she sits on the bed. “That’s because you’re always trying to get my clothes _off_.” He pulls her in for a languid kiss.

Afterward, she backs away, keeping their mouths a whisper apart. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” she murmurs. “You won’t be able to touch me for a long time after this baby is born.”

Hand in hand, they head to the hospital. She’s glad for their new clothes—long thermal shirts, thick wool sweaters and fur-lined coats—as they keep them warm in the frigid temperatures. Her boots make a soft crunch as they tread through the pristine snow. Raven pulls her grey knitted beanie lower over hear ears.

Once at the hospital, she’s checked in quickly and sent to an examination room to wait for Abby. They take off their coats, laying them over a chair. Murphy then helps her to jump up on the table.

Raven laces her hands over her expanding belly, now visible even through her bulky sweater. She had started ballooning since she hit 16 weeks. Abby said it was so noticeable now because she was so thin before, and because she’s maintained a healthy diet in Eden.

Murphy takes a seat in a stool beside her. “So I was reading your little pregnancy pamphlet last night while you were in the bath,” he says. “He’s the size of a banana today?”

Raven looks at him from the corner of her eye, a playful smile on her lips. “Our baby? Yes, he or _she_ is the size of a banana.”

Murphy clucks his tongue. “It’s a boy.”

So he has said all pregnancy. Nothing, not even pure logic that it’s a 50-50 chance, will convince him otherwise. It’s not to say he doesn’t want a girl. He’s just adamant _this_ baby is a boy.

“Wanna bet?” She asks. A harmless gamble never hurt anybody, and in this case, there is no losing, really. “Since you’re so dead-set the baby will have a penis.”

Murphy chuckles, his tongue darting out to lick his bottom lip. “Fine,” he says. “If it’s a boy… I get to go down on you.”

“Ha!” Raven laughs. “Of course.” She centers her gaze on him and extends a hand. “Deal. But if it’s a girl, you have to make peace with Shaw.”

He makes a face. “Seriously? That’s what you want?”

“Not for me,” she says. “But for Emori. I know it bothers her.” She waves her outstretched hand. “So? Deal or no deal?”

Murphy shakes her hand. “Deal, but only because you’re going to lose.”

Abby walks in then, sending a friendly smile their way. She asks Murphy to hold the door open, and he obliges, allowing her to wheel in the ultrasound equipment inside the room.

“Ready to see your baby?” she asks, and Raven looks up excitedly at Murphy. God, she’s been ready for weeks. Now at the midway point, it seems a bit surreal. Abby turns on the machine, looking over her shoulder at Raven. “You’re positively glowing, by the way. Second trimester treating you well?”

“Much better than the first,” Raven affirms.

“I’m sure the company has helped too,” Abby says.

“Yeah, well I live to serve,” Murphy says, lacing Raven’s hand in his.

Abby’s eyes follow the movement, and her lips quirk upwards. She doesn’t say anything, but she’s pleased. Raven can tell.

She performs a few regulatory screenings before they get to the main event—blood pressure, weight (Raven’s gained 10 pounds since the start of her pregnancy!) and measuring the fundal height of her belly. Everything is right on track, and that’s a relief. With so many things having gone wrong recently, it’s nice to at least have reassurance on this.

As Raven tugs her sweater up higher up on her chest, Abby warns her that the gel will be cold.

And Jesus, she wasn’t kidding.

“Shit,” Raven swears.

Abby gives her an amused smile. “You should be careful swearing—the baby can hear everything you guys say at this point.”

“Like he’ll remember anything,” Murphy says, his eyes focused on the ultrasound screen.

“Hopefully not,” Raven retorts. “I wish I could forget all your stupid little jokes.”

They hear the baby’s heartbeat first. Raven has heard its hummingbird beating before, but seeing Murphy’s face as he hears it for the first time is a game changer. She sees his eyes grow misty – what a crybaby. And if someone asks her, it doesn’t make her teary-eyed at all. She _most definitely_ has something in her eye.

Then, they see their baby. In slightly disturbing 4D resolution. But it’s still the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

“Oh my god,” she breathes. “We made that.” Now there’s no doubt about there being something in her eye. The tears start falling on their own accord. “Oh my god. He’s so ugly,” she says, her voice a little breathier than normal. She vaguely registers Abby suppressing a laugh from the corner of her eye. “Murphy, I think he got your nose.”

He’s crying too, kissing the back of her hand without letting their fingers separate. “I think you’re right,” he says. “It’s going to take him years to grow into it.” He tears his eyes away from the screen, showing their sleeping, beautiful baby, whose lips are pursed into a perfect rosebud already even though he’s still the size of produce.

“Raven,” Murphy says, and she forces herself to look at him even though all she wants to do is stare at their child. “You called him a _he_.”

She pauses. Yes, she guesses she did. She can’t explain why—everything is a bit overwhelming right now. She just knows it felt right.

“Babe,” it’s the first time she’s ever called Murphy this, “with that nose, let’s _pray_ it’s a boy.”

They turn to see Abby watching them, a soft look on her face. It takes Raven a second to notice that they’re not the only ones being sappy messes. Abby is looking a bit teary-eyed herself.

“I’m sorry,” she says, laughing as she wipes her tears away. “I’m your doctor, I should be able to get a hold of myself. It’s just…You two have come so far, and now look.” She shifts the wand around, granting them another view of their baby. “Murphy was right. It most definitely, is a boy.”

Raven gasps, and Murphy brings his forehead to hers. They’re having a boy. This is really happening.

“I knew it,” Murphy says, kissing her fiercely. “I _knew_ it.” He can’t contain himself. He lets out a loud holler, and if the whole settlement didn’t already know she was pregnant, they certainly do now.

 

* * *

 

The first person they tell is Jordan.

When Emori finds out later, they’ll tell her it’s because Jordan was the closest in proximity at that moment. And that is true. But they also choose Jordan because, out of all their friends right now, he needs good news the most, especially when his release from the hospital is still up in the air.

He’s healing, but it’s been a slow process.

Jordan’s face lights up when he sees them stride into his hospital room. Like virtually everyone does when they see her, his eyes zero in on her belly. She’s gotten used to it. People stared at her leg all the time. Or even worse, they purposely avoided looking at it.

“How are you feeling, Frankenstein?” Murphy sits on the edge of Jordan’s bed. Raven inwardly winces, hoping Jordan doesn’t take offense.

He doesn’t. She guesses it’s because living with Murphy desensitizes you in certain ways.

“I’m bored as hell,” Jordan says. “What else is new?”

“Well...” Raven perches herself on the bed. She places a hand over her stomach. “We found out the sex of the baby today.”

Jordan shifts on the bed so as to sit up straighter. He winces—any movement that stretches his abdomen is painful since the skin grafts—but he doesn’t let that dampen his excitement. “So?” he prompts. “How insufferable is Murphy going to be for the rest of the nine months?”

Raven smiles as Murphy scoffs behind her. “Very insufferable. We’re having a boy.”

Jordan grins, and he outstretches his fist for Murphy to bump. “Congrats, you two.”

They talk about the baby for a few more minutes. Raven catches him up on all the new developments, like how he now has working taste buds. She tells him about the fluttering in her belly, barely there and yet foreign, that she’s begun to feel since last week. Like butterflies flitting around in her abdomen, she describes.

The first time she felt it, she had ignored the sensation, chalking it up to gas. It had taken her a solid minute to realize that it was, in fact, her baby moving around inside of her.

The conversation slows to a halt when she runs out of things to say about the baby, and that gives Jordan a chance to ask about what lies ahead of them.

“The mission?” he asks Murphy. There’s a ray of hope in his eyes, like maybe this time, Murphy will be able to give him a definitive answer.

But he can’t. Murphy shakes his head slowly. “Sorry, dude. Russell called off all missions until the night blizzards subside. Plus, the colonies have all dispersed into God knows what hellhole.”

Jordan sighs. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds. When he does, his voice is dejected. “You know, I’m not angry at the other that attacked me. That’s what they’re wired to do…I just wish we knew why my body reacted to it that way, and why there aren’t a lot of reported cases in Eden. It can’t be that rare if it happened to me, and we’ve only been here a couple months.” A look of determination settles on his features. “If we could find out more, we would understand these creatures better. We would be able to help other people in the future.”

Raven has seen a lot of Harper in Jordan over the past few months. She’s witnessed his willpower, loyalty, gentleness…

But what just came out of his mouth is all Monty.

Here he is in a hospital bed, recovering from a painful surgery with mediocre results, and he’s worried about finding a solution to people’s pain that hasn’t even happened yet. Once again, Monty’s words from his farewell video echo in her head.

_Do better._

Jordan will forever be a reminder of that, and for that, she is grateful.

 

* * *

 

They spend their day making rounds to share their news. It’s Murphy’s idea.

“Let’s just get it out of the way, and if we time it correctly, they’ll feed us,” he says.

“Cheapskate.”

But it works. They have lunch with Echo and her polite, albeit very quiet, roommate. Echo seems the happiest Raven has ever seen her since coming down to Kainos. Her smile actually reaches her eyes. Raven is glad for that—Echo is her sister. If she could give her the world, she would.

They visit Emori and Shaw, who are holed up in her unit (which is technically Raven’s too, but she’s virtually already moved out). Emori hugs her tightly when they tell her, and Raven sees Shaw’s eyes crinkle in the corners as he watches. They’re good for each other. Raven can feel it.

Shaw extends a hand out for Murphy to shake, and after leaving him hanging for almost a second too long, Murphy takes it. There’s still a lot to unpack between them, something that may never fully happen, but this is a start.

On the way to Clarke and Bellamy’s unit, they run into Kane and Octavia talking alone in the middle of the snow-covered path.

They both stop talking when they spot them. Kane plasters a reassuring smile on his face and Octavia looks down at the ground. Whatever they were talking about seems intimate, so they do the polite small talk and leave them be. Octavia has her own shit to deal with, and if Kane is helping her, they don’t want to get in the way.

Madi opens the door when they get to her house. The see Bellamy peek out from the kitchen, a dishrag in hand.

“Hey guys, come on in,” he says.

Raven and Murphy make themselves at home, taking off their coats and slipping out of their boots.

“Where’s Clarke?” Raven asks.

Madi plops down their couch, her data pad in hand. “She went to go get herbs at the market. Bellamy’s making a boar roast.” She cranes her neck to look up at them. “You guys should stay for dinner.”

From the corner of her eye, Raven can see Murphy smirk. “Thanks, hobbit,” he says. Madi sticks her tongue out at him. Murphy comes around to sit beside her, with the sole purpose of annoying her, she’s sure.

Raven wanders in the kitchen. Bellamy is washing vegetables at the sink. “So a roast,” Raven says. “Seems pretty complicated for an average Saturday dinner.”

Bellamy lets a small smile graze his lips, his curls flopping on his forehead. “Who said it’s an average Saturday?” He steals a look at her. “We’re going to try again…Clarke and I.”

Raven knows immediately what they are talking about. Her eyebrows shoot up. “That’s great, Bell.”

“We’re not getting our hopes up, because you know…” he sighs. “But Eden has expended a lot of resources on fertility treatments and… If it doesn’t work, we can at least say we tried.”

Raven purses her lips, choosing her words carefully. “You know she’s doing this for you, right?”

Bellamy doesn’t answer her. They hear the front door open and in walks Clarke, snowflakes clinging to her short blonde hair. She shakes them out as she takes off her knit hat, flashing them a million-watt smile.

“I just ran into my mom,” she says. She crosses over to Raven and hugs her tight, probably the most physical contact they’ve had in years. “A _boy_ … Congratulations.”

Raven looks over Clarke’s shoulder at Bellamy. There is not a single trace of discomfort on his face. He’s looking at them fondly. “That’s amazing, guys,” he says.

Clarke lets her go, and Raven feels a different set of arms wrap around her and settle on her belly. “I was right,” Murphy says, his chin resting on her shoulder. “She hates the fact that I called it.”

Bellamy wraps a hand around Clarke’s waist. “I told Raven our news,” he says.

Clarke exhales nervously. “The treatments aren’t a guarantee,” she tells Raven and Murphy. “But we have hope.”

Raven feels a little shitty reacting the way she did when Bellamy told her. The truth is, she doesn’t want to see Bellamy crushed. The way Clarke had talked to her that day in her office… It seemed children between them were off the table. But if there is a chance, of course she wants them to go for it. Forget what’s going on outside the gates of Eden. This is their home now, and no matter what secrets Russell is or isn’t hiding, there isn’t a chance in hell they’re forfeiting their new lives.

“I just have one thing to say,” Murphy says, his words slicing through her train of thought.

“Here we go,” Bellamy says, fighting a grin.

“Try not to implant an AI in this one, okay?” he says, and Raven elbows him.

They hear Madi yell out “I can hear you!” from the living room, and Clarke laughs. Bellamy tugs her closer to his side.

 

* * *

 

By the time they get home, the temperature has dropped another 10 degrees and the wind has picked up in howling proportions. As soon as the sun sets, the winter wonderland turns into a hell-like frozen tundra. They’re expecting another overnight blizzard, or so the Eden alerts inform them through their data pads and TVs.

“That was miserable,” Raven says as soon as they enter Murphy’s unit. “But dinner was worth it. I’m going to be craving Bellamy’s roast for days.” She tugs off her coat, gloves and hats for the last time, hanging them up in the hooks by the door.

Murphy follows suit, flicking her ponytail playfully to help her get the ice out of her hair. “You said that last week about the mess hall’s mediocre curry.”

“Anything is better than the algae we ate for six years straight,” she says, leaning up against the kitchenette counter.

“Careful Reyes, I hear pregnancy cravings can take a turn for the worst.” He closes the distance between them. She draws him in for a kiss, their lips cold from the temperatures. But that can be remedied.

It doesn’t take much for them to get carried away. He picks her up and sits her on the counter, and her legs wrap around his waist on their own accord. He draws a path down her exposed neck with his lips, pulling at her sweater and under-layers to expose more of her shoulder.

She hums. “Bed, now.”

Murphy looks at her, his pupils already dilated. “About the bet...We don’t have to.”

Raven brushes his hair away from his forehead. “Look,” she begins. “A deal is a deal. I’m willing to give it a try with you.”

He nods. “Just—if you feel uncomfortable, tell me.”

He lays her down on his bed, and they make quick work of their clothes. Murphy kisses his way down her chin, throat, between her breasts and over the curve of her belly. Unconsciously, she feels herself tense as he nears her core.

“Relax,” he whispers against her skin, and she wills herself to. He parts her legs, and she swears she can see his heart jumping in his chest.

He looks up at her once for confirmation, and she gives him a shaky nod. Still, she’s unprepared for the sensation of him actually going for it. Her back arches off the bed on its own volition. Raven has only ever done this with one other person, and only once before either of them decided it was not a thing they enjoyed.

But this…This is on a different continent in terms of pleasure.

He has her fisting the sheets, writhing underneath him and raking her hands in his hair with literally, a few flicks of his tongue. She can’t stop the breathy sounds that escape her lips, but she’s too far gone to be embarrassed, or wonder if their neighbors can hear them. Then, when his lips close around the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs, she almost crushes his head with her thighs.

She and Murphy have done some crazy things together these past few months. But the sight of him with his head buried between her thighs, his hand snaking down to his own length as if he could get off just by tasting her… This is by far the most erotic.

He kisses her when she finishes, and she can taste herself on his lips. Murphy never misses an opportunity to gloat, however, so when he pulls back, he’s wearing his trademark cocky grin that she desperately wishes to devour.

“I hate to say I told you so.” No he doesn’t. It’s his favorite thing to do. “But that’s two for two today.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact on the others, since there wasn't much about them in this chapter: They're loosely based on a post-apocalyptic creature I made up for a screenplay I wrote in college. Except, in that, they were called howlers and sounded like banshees :) 
> 
> Also, everyone died at the end of that screenplay. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	19. Point of no return

With the days feeling so short in the winter, the next four weeks pass by in a whirlwind.

Raven and Murphy move into their own family unit, a feat that takes them three whole days thanks to a particularly gnarly blizzard and the state of the unit when they’re handed the keys. Raven swears there wasn’t one surface that wasn’t covered in cobwebs.

And unlike singles units, family ones came as is. Their unit had been barren save for a TV, a long dining table and a wooden bed frame. Raven cringes when she thinks of how many credits they spent just purchasing necessary furniture and household items to make their unit livable. Their friends all braved the snow to help them carry things up the six flight of stairs, and she will forever be grateful. It still feels empty, but she figures that will be remedied as time goes on. A couch is high on their want list, but hadn’t been as necessary as a mattress. There was no way that she could sleep on the hard floor, especially at 24 weeks pregnant.

Bellamy and Clarke lucked out. Eden tried to accommodate the few families when they all first moved into the settlement by providing key pieces of furniture. God knows how many credits they could have saved had she and Murphy just gone for it right from the start.

Still, she wouldn’t change anything. Living apart from Murphy made her realize how much she cared for him—needed him, even. It might have taken her longer to sort out her feelings had she had him accessible at all times.

Having their own family unit, a space where their son will grow up in and call home… It was a bit surreal at first. They had so much space. The kitchen was ample, and looked over into the living space—very much like Clarke and Bellamy’s.

Her and Murphy’s bedroom had its own door leading out to the wrap-around balcony. Once the snow melted away, she could see herself spending a lot of time out there.

Only one other family lives in the same tree as them—a Wonkru couple with a toddler. Their unit is on the fourth floor. The other six units are vacant.

The seclusion creates a quiet unlike one Raven has ever been familiar with. Other than the crackling of their fireplace, or the hum of the heater in their bedroom, there are nights that she can’t hear a sound. They haven’t heard the others in weeks, and they’re too far away from the center of the settlement to hear the hustle and bustle of the early risers heading to work, or the chatter on the street from people walking to various parts of Eden.

The singles units were in the midst of all the action. The family ones are all about tranquility.

It drives Raven a little nuts. Murphy too.

So they make their own commotions— Cranking up music as they make dinner, getting into loud, petty discussions bordering on arguments, then chasing them by making love in their bedroom, or in front of a roaring fire.

It’s a small dose of chaos that keeps them both sane. And happy. Raven is so damn, happy.

No moment could embody that more than this one. She and Murphy are lying in their new bed. It’s after dark, and they’ve changed into their sleep clothes. Despite the cold, Murphy is bare-chested, a pair of thick, black sweatpants hanging low on his hips. She’s wearing one of his hole-ridden T-shirts from the Ark and a pair of loose shorts.

Murphy traces patterns on her stomach as they brainstorm ideas for names.

“You really don’t like Atticus?” he says.

Raven lets a sharp laugh escape her lips. “No, I really don’t. It sounds pretentious—and totally something Bellamy and Clarke would name their kid,” she says. Murphy makes a face. “Do we want to be Bellamy and Clarke?”

“Point taken. Atticus is out,” he makes a sliding motion with his free hand. He props himself up with his elbow on the bed. “What about… Ray? Since he’s going to be a Murphy, we might as well incorporate your name into his.”

She scrunches her eyebrows as she mulls it over. “No…I’m not crazy about that one either.”

Murphy flops on the bed with a groan. They’ve been discussing names ever since it was confirmed that they were having a son, and they have yet to agree on _one_ they both like.

What they did agree on, however, was what names would _not_ be in the running.

Finn, Sinclair, and Alex—all important figures in their lives in some way shape or form. All ghosts that would forever remind them of pain. They didn’t want to burden their son with that.

Raven settles back on the pillows, wincing at the soreness of her lower back. Her hand settles next to Murphy’s on her belly. Ever since he found out she could feel the baby move, he’s been adamant to feel it himself.

“I like the idea of giving him a timeless name,” Raven says. “Like Edward, or William or even Henry.”

Murphy pretends to snore. “Boring,” he says, drawing out the word. “He’s going to end up sounding like some bourgeois snob.”

“That’s a pretty big word for you,” she says, flicking his fingers lightly. “I’m proud of you.” Murphy captures her hand in his and she smiles. “Fine, maybe none of those…but how about… James?”

“James?” Murphy stares up at the ceiling, rolling the name around in his tongue. “James Murphy.”

“We could call him Jamie for short.”

He doesn’t say anything immediately, which is rare. If he hated it, he would’ve said something by now. He has her on pins and needles. The silence is brief, but it feels like an eternity.

“So?” she presses when she can’t help herself.

“It’s not the _worst,_ ” he says, and she fist bumps. That’s Murphy-speak for he likes it.

And someone else seems to like it too. As soon as she feels it, she grabs Murphy’s hand and lays it over a spot on the right side of her belly. He’s kicking.

“Whoa,” Murphy breathes, his eyes zeroing in on her. “Is that? Can you get him to do it again?” He sits up on the bed so that he’s able to place both hands on her belly. “Hey squirt, can you kick for dad again?”

Raven’s heart melts when she hears him call himself “dad.” It releases warm butterflies inside her, and when Murphy’s expression turn crestfallen as the baby quits moving, Raven finds herself wanting to remedy that.

“I read that the baby might move if I get on all fours and cough,” she offers.

Murphy raises an eyebrow. “That’s not slightly bizarre at all,” he says. “That being said, you should do it. Get on your knees, Reyes.”

She rolls her eyes, amused at his choice of phrasing. She turns her body around, bracing herself on the bed on her knees and elbows. “This is weird,” she says. “All my clothes are on.”

Murphy chuckles behind her. “This is wholesome family bonding time. Get your head out of the damn gutter.” He puts his hands on her belly, helping a little with the weight of it in this position. “Now, cough.”

She’s honestly not sure if this will work—it seemed like an old wives tale when she read it in the booklet. But Murphy has been waiting for this, and she knows he didn’t get a good feel just now. So, as ridiculous as it feels, she starts coughing.

And because the universe hates them, this all happens at the very moment Bellamy flies into their bedroom. He stops mid-stride when he sees them, raising a finger in question. “You know what, I don’t want to know,” he says.

Raven kneels, looking back at Murphy with a gaze that she hopes communicates “I told you so.”

Murphy is annoyed when he sits back on his heels. “Bellamy, how many times do we have to repeat ourselves? We gave you a key for emergencies,” he says.

She can’t resist. “I told you that was a mistake,” she mutters.

She gets it. They lived in close quarters for six years. But Bellamy needed to work on his boundaries. This is the third time since they’ve moved in that he’s just waltzed right in for “an emergency.” The first time, it was because Madi accidentally shattered her data pad and he believed Raven was a miracle worker and could fix it (she could not—a broken screen is a broken screen), and the second time, he woke them up in the middle of the goddamn night because he swore Clarke was having pregnancy symptoms and wanted to pick Raven’s brain. For the record, Clarke just had a nasty case of prolonged acid reflux after eating the mess hall chili.

“This is an emergency,” Bellamy insists, and Raven and Murphy exchange a glance. “I pinged you like 15 minutes and you haven’t answered.”

“Really?” Murphy says. “We were kind of in the middle of a moment.”

Bellamy shakes his head, exasperated. “No, listen. The mission is on—tonight.”

“What?” Raven looks outside. It’s pitch black and temperatures have already probably dipped below freezing.

“One of the drones picked up a few of the others moving around in the dark. Russell thinks they’re part of the colony we were trying to corral before the snow fell.”

“But I thought they were in hibernation?”

“They’re supposed to be. Russell seemed worried that this herd wasn’t.”

Murphy groans. “And if Russell is worried, we should be even more so.” Bellamy nods in agreement. “So, we’re moving forward with the plan tonight?”

“Yes, but we have to move quick. The mission is scheduled to leave in 20. Octavia is sneaking Clarke onboard as we speak.” Bellamy glances at Raven. “Everything ready to go in your end?”

“All we need is the alien,” she affirms.

“And an alien we’ll get,” Murphy says, his tone unenthusiastic.

 

* * *

 

This is the plan.

From the second Raven saw that unused maintenance shed with Uriah, she knew it would come in handy eventually. In the weeks since formulating the plan, they’ve completely gutted the inside—working in the evening hours when the majority of people were staying warm in their units.

They moved some usable lab equipment from the school to the shed. Raven created a solar panel that generated enough power for the equipment and a small computer. Octavia and Murphy had put their blacksmithing skills to the test and created their largest work yet. The iron cage took up most of the back of the shed, complete with shackles attached to the sides. It would take a lot for an other to get loose.

Now, in terms of executing the plan, Murphy, Bellamy, Echo and Octavia managed to all get on the mission’s military roster. As Echo created a diversion in the landing dock, Octavia was to sneak Clarke onboard. Emori and Shaw traded shifts with the designated pilots in advance, which wasn’t too complicated because most of the pilots, or at least those in their right minds, weren’t crazy about leaving Eden at night with the amount of blizzards they’ve been facing.

Murphy and Bellamy’s role wouldn’t kick in until they were up in the air. As soon as they were, they needed to secure one of the closet-sized bathrooms in the ship—this is where they planned to hide the other. One of them was going to be in the bathroom with the alien for the entire trip back.

And it wouldn’t be Murphy, per Raven’s insistence.

Once on the ground, as the military corralled the others with fire to wherever the hell Russell wanted them to, Octavia and Murphy needed to isolate a single alien without any of the other military members noticing. Echo and Bellamy were to cover for them.

When they had the alien where they wanted it, Clarke would need to move quickly to shoot it with a tranquilizer dart. Raven had made the gun, Clarke made the serum.

Then, somehow, they had to move the other back on the transport ship as surreptitiously as possible. If needed, Emori and Shaw were ready to create another diversion.

It all sounds very exciting to Raven, who because of her very pregnant status, had to stay behind. She was tasked with staying in the cold ass forgotten maintenance shed until they got back, and keeping an eye on the Eden security systems in case something went wrong.

She’s bundled up with her coat, scarf, hat and even goddamn gloves, but she’s still freezing. They needed to hurry the fuck up with the mission.

She’s also bored out of her mind, and she’s been here for less than five minutes. It’s going to be a long night.

Her whole body stiffens as she hears the door slowly creak open, and Raven reaches for the gun Murphy left her. She holds it defensively in front of her, only relaxing when she sees Diyoza peering inside.

“Jesus Christ,” Raven says as she puts the gun down.

Diyoza is unfazed. “Goddamn, you’re as jittery as a teen girl at prom,” she says. Raven furrows her brow because the phrase doesn’t make sense to her. Striding inside the shed, Diyoza scans the room. Her eyes gloss over the computers and lab tech and fixate on the large iron cage at the back of the shed. “What are you guys up to?” she says, her words slow and curious.

“You should go home,” Raven says. “Hope is probably wondering where her mom went.”

Diyoza waves her off. “Hope is with Kane and Abby. I requested a night off. God, I feel like I haven’t slept a full night in ages.”

“Maybe you should go home and sleep then.” Raven raises her chin in defiance.

“And miss on whatever this is you and your friends are plotting?” Diyoza turns back to Raven. “Don’t give me that look. I know you guys have been up to something for weeks. You are all terrible at hiding things.”

“You need to leave,” Raven says.

It’s clear Diyoza has zero intention of doing that. She takes a seat in a chair across from Raven, pulling a stool toward her with her feet. The stool makes a grating sound against the shed’s concrete flooring. Slowly, deliberately so, she rests both feet on it, crossing her ankles.

“How far along are you?” Diyoza asks with a nod of her chin.

“Just hit 24 weeks.”

Diyoza whistles. “That’s almost how far along I was when we got back to Earth.” When Raven doesn’t offer anything to the conversation, she continues. “Now, I know what you’re thinking. Why the hell did I ever let McCreary inside me?”

Raven inwardly groans. No, she wasn’t even remotely thinking that. She casts a bored glance in Diyoza’s direction, hoping she gets her nonverbal cues that this conversation needs to end. Quickly.

“All I’ll say,” Diyoza continues, “is that you take what you can get when your days are numbered.”

That, Raven can understand. She’s been in enough life or death scenarios to get why people gravitate to each other in hard times. It may be a flaw of humanity that they often seek out the wrong person, but that is life. She tries not to think about that too often—it reminds her of Wick.

“What are you going to tell her?” Raven asks. “When she asks about her dad?”

A small smile appears on Diyoza’s face. “The truth,” she says. “No other option. What are you going to tell yours when they ask about your leg?” At Raven’s apparent shock, she explains, “Shaw told me.”

That annoys her a bit. She and Murphy have nothing to hide, and her lack of mobility in her left leg isn’t a secret. But it’s not Shaw’s story to tell. It’s theirs.

“The truth,” Raven says. “No other option.” After a beat, she adds, “It’s a boy, by the way.”

“Congratulations.” Diyoza is being genuine. Maybe for a terrorist, she’s not the worst.

 

* * *

 

The shed only grows colder as the night goes on. Raven brings her knees up to her chest, attempting to conserve as much core body heat within herself as possible. It’s all she can do to keep her teeth from chattering.

Diyoza certainly isn’t as relaxed as she had been a couple hours ago. She has her legs crossed, hands tucked underneath her arms. Raven can see her exhales in the dim lighting.

“G-go home,” Raven says. It’s almost like she’s become a broken record. Diyoza shouldn’t be here. If anything went wrong…

“Not until you tell me what you guys are up to.” Diyoza’s growing exasperated at this point.

For a brief moment, Raven really does consider telling her. Diyoza could be an asset if things ever took a downturn and they had to confront Russell. But at the end of the day—that’s not their goal. They don’t want to cause an uprising in Eden and throw a balanced society into the garbage just because they could.

They just want answers. These others are not what Russell claims them to be. There has to be more to their story.

“I could help you,” Diyoza says, drawing her out of her reverie. “I’m sure whoever you’re planning on putting in that cage deserves it, considering the risks.”

It takes her a beat to realize Diyoza said “whoever” and not “whatever.” She thinks they’re planning to keep a person in here. For all her talk on knowing they were up to something, Diyoza could be no farther from the truth.

But she was about to find out.

The door to the shed flies open and her friends come barreling inside. Raven stands as quickly as she can, her eyes taking in the other being carried inside by Bellamy, Shaw, Octavia and Echo. The alien has been wrapped in cloth, like a mummy. He’s not moving. That’s probably a good thing.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Octavia asks. Her tone is scathing, and accusatory as she stares at Raven.

“I think the question should be what the hell are _you_ doing?” Diyoza shoots back.

Raven sees Murphy and she crosses the shed to stand beside him. She looks him over. No blood—that’s good.

“Well you’re here now, so I guess you’re about to find out,” Clarke says. She bends down to the ground to help Bellamy and Shaw unwrap the alien.

“I told her to leave,” Raven says. “But you know what they say—curiosity killed the cat.”

To her credit, Diyoza remains expressionless as the cloth reveals the body and face of the other. His eyes are closed, mouth open just enough to grant them all a good look of his glinting, razor sharp teeth. From the corner of her eye, she sees Murphy shudder.

Bellamy tells Clarke to back up, and the rest of them do as well. If this thing woke up right now…That wouldn’t end well.

As Bellamy and Shaw are securing the other inside the cage, Raven turns to Murphy.

“Are you okay?” She raises a hand to cradle his jaw.

He winces at the cold feel of her glove. “Are you? Jesus, Reyes you’re freezing.” At her persistent expression, he sighs. “I’m fine. Everything went right, for once.”

They turn back to see that the alien has been shackled to the walls of the cage. He’s slumped over on the floor now, but he won’t always.

“Well,” Emori says, and they all look to her. “He’s here.”

“The question is,” Octavia says, leaning against the thick iron bars of the cage, “what are we going to do with it when we’re done? We either have to kill it or set it loose.”

Bellamy steps out of the cage, shutting the heavy padlock closed. “That’s a problem for another day, O.” He glances at Diyoza, his face impassive. “For now, we _all_ need to be on the same page. No one can know we brought in an other inside Eden…Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Diyoza replies. She grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry this is late. A few chapters ago, we caught up to what I had already written, so I'm writing chapters as I go now. I'm trying to keep up a twice a week update schedule, but this week at work was brutal and I didn't have time to write.
> 
> Next week shouldn't be as bad, so expect another chapter by either Wednesday or Thursday! 
> 
> And again, thank you all so much for reading ❤


	20. Easy does it

The process is a lot slower than they’d like. Two week and they’re still cracking the alien’s genetic code.

One of the first surprises was the number of chromosomes found in a single alien cell. While humans had 23 pairs, the other had double. Needing to analyze 46 pairs of chromosomes meant more time studying the various amino acids that made up the alien’s DNA.

The second surprise was that the other didn’t appear to have a sex chromosome. All of them were the same size. Which begged the question—how did they reproduce?

It seemed like the more they dug, the less answers and more questions they received in return. What are these things, and where did they come from?

They shared part of the human genome. And all logic stated that they shouldn’t. Unlike back on Earth, where all living things shared a common ancestor, these beings shouldn’t have anything in common with humans. Their DNA should be completely different, and not an exaggerated version of the human genome.

To be sure of their theory, Clarke got a blood samples from a boar and a thornbull housed in Eden’s barns. It proved them right. Those animals had a completely different genetic makeup compared to humans.

So regardless what Russell said, these creatures are not native to Kainos.

Beyond that, they don’t really know much. But they’re working on it.

They work in two-person two-hour shifts starting the early evening after dinner. One person continues to analyze the codons making up the amino acids in the alien’s DNA, and the other keeps watch on the alien.

Tonight, it’s Raven’s turn again. Echo keeps a close eye on the other, but it’s clear he’s not going anywhere.

“Shut up Fido,” Raven mutters as the alien begins a new round of insistent grunting. Yes, they named it—sue them. It is easier to refer to the alien when it has a name. “You got fed less than an hour ago.”

The other snorts, opening his mouth to reveal the three rows of needle-point teeth, a low wheezing sound emanating from his throat as his mouth pools with venom. It would be horrifying, if Raven wasn’t already desensitized to it and so damn busy.

What was she doing? She rubs at her temples, groaning loudly in frustration. “Echo, _please_ shut it up. I can’t focus on this damn sequence.” She squints into the microscope. “Leucine, histidine…Lysine?” She should’ve paid more attention in biology on the Ark.

Echo sighs from her spot beside the cage. “Raven, take a break. You’re stressing yourself out and it’s not—”

“I swear to god if you’re about to say it’s not good for the baby, I will strangle you.” 

Even with her back turn, Raven can sense Echo rolling her eyes. “Shaw and Eleanor should be here in a few to take over. Why don’t you just call it a night?”

“You can call it a night if you’re tired of babysitting,” Raven says. “I want Fido out of here before we all get caught and I have to give birth in solitary.”

A sharp pang to the ribs makes her wince. Her son is turning out to be quite the acrobat, and while she’s happy he is healthy and active in her womb, she really wishes he could choose more opportune times to move around. Jamie is quite the night owl, it seems, and it’s kept her awake her a good share of nights recently.

Raven backs away from the microscope, resting her elbow on the table and cradling her forehead. “I’m sorry I’m being a bitch,” she says, slightly turning to be able to look at Echo. “You know how I get when Murphy’s on a mission.”

Echo nods in understanding. “He always comes back,” she says.

“I know.”

And she does know. Murphy has been away on missions almost three nights a week since they got Fido. None of them are as dangerous as that one had been—he’s mainly guarding the farmers gathering winter crops in the fields outside of Eden and escorting a few on different scientific and routine missions.

But, she never really knows when he’ll come home. Sometimes he’s home before midnight. Other times, he doesn’t make it back until after dawn. And call her spoiled, but Raven has grown to really, really loathe sleeping alone.

Murphy has become her pillar of comfort. She needs him to feel truly at home.

It’s not long before the door to the shed opens and Eleanor and Shaw walk in. Raven rises from the stool, greeting Eleanor casually as the blonde replaces her in front of the microscope. Eleanor is probably the reason they’ve analyzed so much of Fido’s genetics in the past couple of weeks. Raven will give credit where credit is due, and Eleanor is damn good at biology.

She feels a pair of eyes on her—not an uncommon feeling these days around Eden thanks to her growing belly—and she turns to see they belong to Shaw. Once he notices he’s gotten caught, he averts his gaze.

Raven raises and eyebrow. “You can say it, Shaw. I look like I’m carrying a basketball.”

Shaw smirks. “I’d say it’s more of a beach ball,” he says, and Raven scoffs in faux-annoyance. “Sorry, I was staring, it’s just… It’s crazy that less than a year ago we were in a cave on Earth getting ready for war, and now you’re doing the opposite—you’re literally growing a person.”

The sentiment is sweet, albeit a bit out of nowhere. But she appreciates the fact Shaw speaks his mind. “Technically, that happened over a century ago,” she replies.

“You know what I mean.”

Raven just smiles in return. She and Echo pull on their coats, hats and scarves to ward off the night cold. Since that first night, Raven built a space heater out of scrap material and wiring to warm the shed somewhat. They couldn’t risk Fido dying of hypothermia, which guessing by his genetics, is totally a possibility.

Echo walks with her to the family unit sector, even though the shed is a lot closer to her unit. Raven tucks her hands under her arms as they brave the whistling winter wind. Murphy had been right. She definitely wishes it was still raining. Anything is better than this.

“I’m glad you talked me out of killing him,” Echo says after a while.

Raven sneaks a glance at Echo. “I think that’s probably the nicest thing you’ve said about him, ever.”

Echo shrugs. “You guys sucked as a couple.” Raven suppresses a smile. She’s right. At the end of the day, they weren’t very compatible. “But he’s good for Emori. Provides her with the stability Murphy could never give her.”

“I don’t need stability?” Raven asks, slightly defensive. Stability was good—and even though “stable” isn’t the first word she would ever describe Murphy with, she still felt like they had stability between them.

“You and Murphy are different,” Echo says. “You’re fire and ice. Both equally dangerous by themselves, but together, you bring balance to one another.”

Raven whistles, shooting her an impressed look. “That’s a very philosophical take on our relationship,” she says. “I thought I was just with him because he knocked me up.”

Echo smirks. “There is one thing you both have in common,” she says. “Both of your stupid little jokes suck.”

 

* * *

 

Baths have become Raven’s happy place at the end of every night. She relishes in the warmth of the water, feeling it work out the aches and pains in her lower back. She’d never had baths on the Ark—they wasted too much water. She’s sure some of the ritzier Arkers in Alpha station took the luxury every now and then, but in Mecha, it was in and out as fast as you could get clean.

Then, on Earth, she was too busy trying to save everyone’s ass to even _consider_ soaking in a bath. That would have been an absurd way to waste precious time.

And then here in Eden, she’d stuck to showers. Until she almost slipped last week getting out.

Thankfully, Murphy had been in the bathroom also, brushing his teeth, and he had a quick reaction time. He had grabbed her before she could face-plant on the hard bathroom tile.

It hadn’t been the first time Raven’s balance had been off kilter. In fact, the more her belly grew, the harder of a time she was having standing upright without her brace. Hell—even with her brace, she could sometimes feel herself swaying out of balance.

Raven hardly ever gave a second thought to her leg these days. So when she talked to Abby about her balance issues, she wasn’t upset when Abby told her the problems stemmed from her spinal injury. It is what it is and honestly, Raven could handle it.

Thus, baths became a necessary precaution, especially with Murphy being gone some nights. But Raven’s not complaining.

She dips lower in the tub, the warm water rising to just underneath her nose. She wishes the tub was deeper. The top of her belly sticks out above the water, and Raven wishes she could submerge all of herself.

Jamie moves inside her, and Raven sees her skin ripple below her ribs. There he goes again, she thinks with a soft smile. Her little warrior.

Suddenly, she hears the muffled sound of her bedroom door opening, and she stills as she listens for more sounds.  A groan. The creak of their bed frame. Boots clattering to the floor.

Murphy.

“Raven?” he calls.

“In the bath tub,” she responds. The bathroom door opens just enough for him to peek his head inside. She raises an eyebrow. “Are you going to come in or not?”

Murphy shuffles inside, closing the door behind him. He lets out another groan as he sits on the floor beside the tub, his back leaning on the wall, knees bent as his feet rest on the opposite wall. He leans over to kiss her, briefly but soundly.

“You’re home early,” she comments after he pulls away.

“Thank god,” he says. “I may actually sleep tonight without worrying about my toes freezing and falling off in the morning.”

She hums. She’d like to not worry about that either. “When do you have to leave again?”

“Tomorrow,” he answers, and she sighs. He reaches over to tuck a wet strand of hair behind her ear. “I know. It…sucks.”

Understatement of the century. Murphy attempts to cheer her up once he sees her sulking. “C’mon, don’t tell me you miss me hogging the sheets every night.”

“You _are_ terrible at sharing,” she says, half-heartedly, and then lowering her voice, too exhausted to pretend this isn’t all upsetting her, she adds, “but I still miss you.” She feels tears well up in her eyes—damn pregnancy hormones—and she attempts to blink them away.

Murphy tenses when he sees a few tears roll down her cheeks. “Whoa, Raven. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He sits up, his elbows leaning on the tub’s edge. He wipes them away with careful fingers.

“I’m sorry, it’s not you,” she says, choking up. “It’s just…everything is overwhelming. You’re gone on all these missions, we still can’t figure out what the hell Fido is, my back fucking hurts _,_ I’m getting _stretchmarks,_ we haven’t started on the nursery, and Russell is going to find out about the shed, I know he is.” The words tumble from her lips before she can reign herself in.

Murphy is at a loss of what to do. She knows he’s not good in these type of situations, and so her expectations for his comforting efforts aren’t very high. Still, she expected better than what escapes his lips.

“Okay, so I can’t really do anything about any of that,” he says. “But for the record, you have like, _three_ stretchmarks.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the father of her child.

A disbelieving scoff leaves her lips. “Really? _That’s_ what you’re going with?”

“Well what do you want me to say?” He stares at the wall for a beat before looking back at her. “The truth is, Raven—Russell, the shed and the gremlin inside mean absolutely nothing in the grand scope of things. What does matter, is me and you,” He says, pointing between them. “And if going on these missions will help keep you safe, make sure you have food, or even medicine if you need it, then there isn’t another option.”

He looks down at his lap, and almost to himself, he says, “I know I’m supposed to be the cockroach, and all…But there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you or Jamie.”

Raven sits up, the water dripping down her arms as she pulls him in for a kiss. She’s soaking his clothes, but neither of them care. Murphy starts tugging his clothes off, and for that she’s glad. The quicker he’s naked, the quicker he can get in the tub with her. She needs him.

She scoots forward to give him space behind her, and Murphy lowers himself with a bigger splash than he probably meant for. He doesn’t let that deter him—his hands are everywhere. Her hair, her breasts, her stomach and then down between her thighs where she wants him most. The positioning is awkward, with her back flush against his in the small tub. Still, she reaches back and tangles her hand in his hair, pulling as he drags his index finger against her opening.

“Murphy,” she breathes, and he gives in. She arches her back, her mouth hot on his ear. He nips at her exposed throat, curling his fingers inside of her in a way that makes her clench herself around him.

When the tub becomes an inadequate—and slightly hazardous—location for what they really want to do, Murphy gets out, dries off and wraps her in a towel before carrying her off to bed.

They make love until Raven forgets all about the obstacles facing their uncertain future. For now, Murphy was right. All that mattered was right in her reach, right now.

 

* * *

 

Jordan is finally released a week later.

Raven and Murphy help him get settled at Marcus and Abby’s where he’ll be staying until he’s able to be more independent. While Jordan can move around on his own, he really shouldn’t overdue it. So yes, he’s not technically on bed rest, but he needs to take it easy.

Having him sleep under the same roof as Abby and Marcus makes Raven feel better. After all, she was the one who stole his roommate.

“Man, am I glad to be out of that hospital room,” Jordan says as he sits on his new bed. The guest room in Abby and Marcus’ couple unit is small, but cozy. There’s an extra quilt over an armchair by the window, and the table beside it contains Jordan’s data pad. The small double bed is in the center of the room, and there’s a small dresser right across it.

“So am I,” Abby says, smiling as she walks into the room carrying a pile of towels. “Let me know if you need anything, and feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge. You don’t have to ask.”

Jordan smiles gratefully up at her from his spot on the bed. “Thanks.” He glances over at Murphy. “Before I got…you know,” he makes a vague motion to his abdomen, “Murphy had started to label all of his food in the fridge.”

“That’s because you were eating everything,” Murphy huffs as he leans against the wall. “If I was spending the credits, I should have been able to enjoy them.”

“Does he do that to you?” Jordan asks Raven.

Since she was growing tired of standing now that everything of Jordan’s has been moved inside, she sits in the armchair. “Ha! I’d like to watch him try.”

“She’d only play the pregnancy card,” Murphy says nonchalantly. “And I can’t trump that.”

“No you cannot,” Abby says, a soft look on her face as she sits on the edge of the bed. She looks at Jordan. “Did your mom ever talk about how things were when she was pregnant with you?”

Raven perks up at this. Aside from the short snippet in the video they left for Bellamy and Clarke, Harper and Monty’s life—especially before Jordan—is a mystery.

“Sometimes, if she was feeling extremely nostalgic,” Jordan says. “She said I used to give her a few good kicks to her bladder that had her running to the bathroom all the time.”

Raven laughs. “I know exactly how she felt.” She eyes Jordan in mock-seriousness. “Were you a good baby?”

“Depended on who you asked. Mom always said yes, but dad…”Jordan trails off with a quiet laugh. “Dad said they named me right. Just like Jasper, he said I never sat still—always crawling someplace or other, getting fussy when I was put to bed.” He shrugs. “I just think they probably paid too much attention to me.”

“Well of course,” Abby says. “They were your parents. That’s what parents do.”

“And you three were the only ones awake up there,” Murphy interjects. “Your fussing was probably the highlight of their day.”

“Did they ever… come see us?” Raven asks.

“Are you kidding?” Jordan laughs. “Only like, every day. Mom used to pull up a chair by your cryo pod sometimes and just talk for hours.” He looks down at his lap. “She really, really missed you guys. I mean…so did Dad but… I could tell it was harder for mom.”

Raven thought so. Like Emori and Echo, Harper had become her sister up in the Ring. She was the one Raven went to when she was feeling down, or just needed someone to listen to her frustrations. It’s why as her pregnancy goes along, she desperately wishes Harper were still alive.

But, she knows she owes her life to Harper and Monty’s sacrifice. So she tries not to dwell on it.

“I wish I could have heard what she said,” Raven says.

Abby, sensing the somber aura inside the room, rises from the bed, slapping her hands on her thighs. “Well, looks like everything is finished in here. Marcus made a spice cake last night for you, Jordan. I think we could all use a piece?”

“Kane _bakes_?” Murphy says incredulously. And just like that, the mood is lifted. The snow may still be raging outside, and questions about the others continue to swirl like snowflakes, but this is a reminder of what they’re working hard to preserve.


	21. Salvation Pt. I

Raven barely registers the fact it’s time to go home when five o’clock rolls around. Her fellow co-workers in the tech hub are all cleaning their workspaces, shutting down their computers and engaging in light conversation as they head out the door. She looks up from the simulation on her computer, and sees that even Uriah is already leaving.

Though she’s tired, she wants to run this simulation one more time. She pitched a new idea for a fuel-efficient motor for Eden’s small transport fleet, and she knows she’s headed in the right direction. If she can just—

“Reyes.”

Raven sighs, looking up from her computer at her overseer, Jones. “I’m almost done,” she says. “I’ll be out of here in 15, I swear.”

Jones raises an eyebrow at her.

“Okay, maybe more like 30 minutes, but—”

Jones suppresses a smile, coming around to look at her computer. He gestures at her simulation with his chin. “Show me.”

She grins, and the rapid-fire explanation of her theory for the engine spills from her lips. She walks Jones through the modifications to the high-pressure compressor, and the effects they should have when energy reaches the combustion chamber. Her fingers fly as she maneuvers the digital blueprint of the engine on the computer.

“What do you think?” she asks brightly.

“It could work,” Jones answers.

“Of course it can. I built it.”

“ _Digitally_ built it,” Jones quips, and Raven rolls her eyes.

“Only because you won’t let me get my hands on an airship,” she says, shutting off her computer.

Jones walks out of the building with her. They’re the last two left. “And you know very well why,” he says. “You got lucky I let you work on those heating grids.”

She whistles. “Were you this neurotic when your wife was pregnant?” She learned a few weeks ago that Jones and his wife were able to have a son. He’s five years old, and had been the last live birth before they got here. She remembers that Eleanor told them there were three Edenites under 25, including her. Raven hasn’t met the third one.

“I was worse,” Jones recalls with a wistful expression. “We found out when she was 16 weeks along—which came as a total surprise, since we thought we were both infertile—and she was on bedrest until she delivered at 37 weeks.”

“Holy shit,” Raven says, finishing clasping up her coat.

He laughs. “Holy shit indeed. She drove me crazy when I was home sometimes. It’s horrible to say, but once in a while, when I needed some peace and quiet and she kept nagging me about something or the other, I’d go to this old shed by the hospital.”

Raven’s stomach drops, her steps faltering as they step outside into the snow. “Oh?” she manages to say.

“Yeah, I mean, the building is totally dilapidated—got damaged by a flood a few years back,” he continues. “But it was solitary. I needed that.”

He glances at her and Raven tries to maintain a neutral expression.

“Look, forgive me if I’m overstepping,” he says. “But I’m bringing this up because you’ve seemed off these past couple of weeks.”

She works to keep the alarm out of her voice. Does he know? Has he been following her to the shed after work? “Off how?” she asks.

He shrugs. “You just seem worried, and that’s understandable.”

“It is?”

Jones smiles. “Of course. You’re bringing a new life into this world. That’s not easy. And you and your people have already gone through so much this year. I mean, your boyfriend got bitten by one of those damn creatures out there. Anyone in your shoes would feel some anxiety.”

His tone is sincere and Raven relaxes. He doesn’t know anything. And the look in his eyes… “You know,” she says. “You remind me of someone I knew a very long time ago.” She lets out a long exhale, her breath visible in the cold air. “Thank you. For keeping an eye on me.”

He nods once, giving her a quick salute before veering off in the direction of his home. Raven watches him go until he disappears in the dark. It’s amazing the turns life takes. That conversation with Jones right now is probably the closest she will ever get to receiving fatherly advice in this lifetime.

Even when she was a teenager and dating Finn… She never really spoke with his parents.

Raven briskly shakes her head when her thoughts threaten to go into a dark place. Thinking about Finn often led to thinking about the other ghosts that haunt her. She never wants to forget, but that doesn’t mean she has to reminisce at every chance. Some things are better left in the past.

Once at home, she takes off her coat and scarf, and shakes the ice clinging to her hair. The unit is pleasantly warm compared to the outside, and she takes that as a sign that Murphy is home. He’s very much against heating the unit when neither of them are there, which oftentimes means Raven comes home to a cold house.

But not today. She checks their bedroom first, frowning when she doesn’t see him. And then, her ears pick up the sound of mingling voices.

That first was undeniably female, and not just any woman’s. It was Emori’s.

As she heads back into the living room, she spots a soft hazy glow coming from one of the spare bedrooms, the one closest to their room, and heads toward it. Raven opens the door, and is greeted by a sight that has her both gasping in surprise and holding back a fast onslaught of tears.

Murphy and Emori. Frantically working to complete a nursery.

“You’re home,” Emori says once she sees her. She jumps up from her spot by a dark wood bookshelf, extending her arms to the side. “Surprise! We’ve been putting it together for the last couple of days.”

“Which has been a nightmare, since you’re so freaking observant,” Murphy adds with a smirk. He’s currently attaching her mobile to a black iron crib—the one she’d bought a long time ago. How did he find it? She had it stashed in the bottom drawer of her dresser.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Raven says.

“When I’m trying to surprise you, it is.” He finishes with the mobile and closes the distance between them, pulling her in for a brief kiss.

The nursery is perfect—even if it’s not finished. The iron crib is pushed up against the wall, complete with rounded arcs on each end and a band of swirls on the bottom. Murphy sees her examining it, and his chest puffs up with pride. “Octavia and I have been working on it during our lunch break for months,” he says.

The iron is smooth and cool under her fingertips. She looks up, taking in the circuit boards that have been cut to spell out “Jamie” on the wall above the crib. They glow a soft blue, contrasting with the yellow light emanating from a curved lamp next to a dark wood rocking chair. The letters will make the perfect nightlights.

“How—” Raven begins, words escaping her as she touches the letters, feeling the hard glass covers of the circuit boards, baby-proofing it from the wires beneath.

“You really think the only thing I learned to do on the Ring was fly a spaceship?” Emori says, her arms crossed and one eyebrow arched.

Raven can’t ever remember feeling more grateful. She had been feeling guilty about being unprepared for Jamie’s arrival, but there hadn’t been much she could do about it. Her mind had been occupied with figuring out what Fido really was, worrying that Murphy came home after every mission and pretending everything was normal at work. 

Raven wipes away the tears that have fallen with a laugh. “Thank you,” she tells them. “It’s perfect.”

Murphy embraces her from behind, his hands meeting at the center of her stomach to form a triangle. “I know you’re scared,” he murmurs. “But Jamie can’t stay in you forever, and he needs a place to sleep. I have dibs on sleeping in your arms.”

Emori rolls her eyes at Murphy, but gives her a soft look afterward. “I’ve seen you,” she says. “You go into the market, make a beeline for the baby section, and walk away with nothing.”

Raven makes a face, slightly defensive. “That’s because nothing feels right.”

“Burping cloths don’t have to feel right.”

She knew what they meant. There was a reason she hadn’t started a nursery, or even bought clothes—aside from that pair of boots she bought months ago.

Inside her, Jamie was safe. No one could hurt him. He was blissfully unaware of all the problems that hovered over their heads like threatening thunderclouds.

But from the second he is born, all of that could change. Murphy was wrong. She wasn’t scared—she was petrified.

Instead of voicing all of this, she simply nods. Emori and Murphy will understand what she means by that. In an effort to lighten the mood, she says, “You guys did a great job, but you forgot something.”

Emori’s eyes widen. “What?”

Raven holds her hands palms up as she outstretches her arms. “The stars. A Spacekru baby needs to sleep among the stars.”

 

* * *

 

She’s not sure if it was the excitement at work today, or the emotional toll the nursery took on her, but Raven is feeling especially restless as she tries to sleep later that night. Granted, she had always been a light sleeper.

And on the ground, it had been both a blessing and a curse. She could wake and be up and moving within seconds. But it also meant that she routinely wakes up at the slightest sound—a door opening, a loud cough, footsteps.

She thanks any existing deity that Murphy isn’t a snorer. She would probably murder him if he was.

Honestly, she shouldn’t be surprised. She’d been having trouble sleeping for a few weeks now. If she’s being honest with herself, she hasn’t had a good night’s rest since they brought Fido into Eden. But she’d never say that aloud. Everyone was already worried about her working in the shed, saying it was too much stress for her as she entered her third trimester.

So whenever Murphy sees her pacing around their unit in the middle of the night, or reading something on her data pad with the hopes of getting drowsy enough to sleep, she blames it on being pregnant. And that certainly has played a part. As the weeks go on, she’s getting more and more uncomfortable. Her legs have begun to cramp up, her feet are still swelling and most meals leave her with an annoying case of heartburn for at least an hour after she eats. Sometimes, she has a hard time believing she still had about 12 weeks to go.

Tonight, she’s feeling particularly frustrated as she struggles to find a comfortable position. Murphy’s arm is slung protectively over her belly, his legs intertwined with hers. This should feel amazing—from his soft breathing at the nape of her neck to the feel of his hard chest against her back.

Raven shifts, freeing her legs from Murphy’s and bringing them up in a slight fetal position. There. That’s better.

She doesn’t worry about waking Murphy. He could sleep through a nuclear apocalypse.

Finally, after what has been hours of unrestful dozing and discomfort, she has found a comfortable position. Raven lets the sound of Murphy’s slow deep breaths lull her to sleep.

And then, she jolts at the sound of a jarring jingle coming from Murphy’s data pad. Raven squints at the digital clock on her nightstand, the cool blue numbers reflecting the time: 5 a.m.

What the hell? Who could be trying to reach him at 5 a.m.? Raven groans against her pillow, the data pad still loudly sounding off on his nightstand. She wouldn’t be able to reach over and turn it off without sitting up, and she really, really doesn’t want to move. She _just_ found a comfortable position.

Instead, she elbows Murphy a few times, maybe a bit harder than she needs to, but she’s irritated. “ _Shut it off,_ ” she hisses.

He groans, rubbing a palm over his face as he blindly reaches back to look at the damn thing. “It’s Bellamy,” he mumbles.

 Annoyed, Raven closes her eyes again. “If this is another one of his ‘emergencies,’ I swear I’ll kill him.”

Murphy doesn’t reply, tapping instead on his data pad to answer Bellamy’s call. “It’s 5 fucking o’clock in the morning,” he groans. “This better be good.”

“It’s not good,” Bellamy’s voice sounds panicked, and Raven’s eyes snap open. She knows that tone. Something is wrong. “Come to the shed.”

Raven and Murphy are alert at once. Dread floods the pit of her stomach. If Bellamy, who generally is able to keep a cool demeanor in the face of danger, is panicked…That’s reason to worry. She sits up, her hand coming to support the swell of her belly as she does so, and takes the data pad from Murphy’s hands. “Bellamy, what’s going on?”

She hears him sigh loudly, then fall silent in that way of his that means he’s carefully choosing his words.

“Bellamy,” she warns through her teeth. “Just spit it out already.” She can hear the faint sound of panicked voices in the background, and the knot in her stomach tightens.

“It’s Fido…” Oh god. “Murphy?”

“Yeah?” Murphy leans over the data pad so Bellamy is able to hear him better.

“Head over to the shed now. It’ll be better if you see it with your own eyes,” Bellamy says before directing the conversation back to her. “Raven, you can’t come.”

She scoffs. “The _hell_ I can’t.”

 “Murphy, make sure she stays at home,” Bellamy continues. “It’s not safe for her here.” He’s speaking like she’s not there—like she’s not listening to what he’s saying.

“Roger that,” Murphy says before clicking off the call.

Raven stares at him, her chin jutting out in defiance. “You don’t really expect for me to stay here, do you?”

Murphy takes in a long breath of air, exhaling slowly through his nose, as if steeling himself for the argument he knows is coming. Safety, her ass. Bellamy didn’t have a problem with her spending hours analyzing Fido’s goddamn genetics. Whatever was going on now, she could handle it. Hell, they probably need her.

“You heard him,” Murphy says, his words careful. “He said it’s not safe.”

“And when have we ever been safe?” she counters.

He doesn’t answer immediately, choosing instead to get out of bed and start getting dressed. Raven watches him as he changes out of his sweatpants and into his jeans in the dark. She follows suit, turning on their bedside lamp, and heaving herself out of their warm bed. As she’s reaching for her brace, Murphy lightly clears his throat.

“Get back in bed,” he says, and Raven balks at the authority in his tone. “You’re not going.”

“Yes, I am.” She crosses her arms over chest. “Oh, what? You think because you knocked me up you suddenly get to tell me what to do?”

She doesn’t mean for it to sound so harsh and biting—or maybe she does. It happens so quickly, and the words tumbled from her lips without giving her a time to second guess them.

Murphy tugs a thick sweater on, his eyes never leaving hers. “Don’t make me do this, Raven.”

“Do what?” She lets her eyes comb over him from head to toe. “You gonna lock me up, take my brace? Make me stay behind without having _any idea_ of what the fuck is going on out there?

He snorts, and it’s a mean and grating sound to her ears. He’s agitated, his anger simmering to a boil as she grows icy and throws her walls up, and right now, they’re both dangerously close to letting this argument spin out of control. Hurling insults at each other could come as naturally as breathing in this moment—something they will both regret in a few hours. Their arguments have always gone from zero to 100 before they could blink.

He closes the distance between them, his lips a whisper away from hers as he touches his forehead to his. “The last thing I want to do right now is fight,” he says, his words harsh. “Don’t fucking make me fight you to stay home when we don’t know if it’ll be the last time we see each other.”

“Stop being so theatrical and let me come with you,” she says, pushing away from him.

Murphy lets out a string of curses as he bangs his fist on the dresser. She doesn’t let the sound jolt her and continues to dress.

“Goddamnit,” he says, running hand through his hair. “Raven, you’re not leaving this unit.”

“Says who?” she narrows her eyes, and turns to grab a sweater from her drawer.

“Says the father of that baby who you’re willing to put in danger,” he seethes. “Says the man who fucking loves you and wants to keep you both alive.”

Raven halts. He…loves her? A million thoughts zip through her brain, each one as obvious as the last. Of course he loves her. She loves him too—desperately. Which is why she can’t bear the idea of letting him waltz right into chaos without her.

She looks down at her belly—at their son, still in her womb. And she knows what she has to do.

“You’re right,” she says, her voice soft as she turns around to face him. “I’m sorry, you’re right.”

She sees the relief in his expression as his shoulders drop down, relaxing from his tense confrontational state. He walks to her, and takes her hands in his. “I’ll call as soon as I can. You’re not gonna be in the dark.”

She nods, and he lets her hands go. Murphy kneels down on the floor, his hand reaching under their bedframe. He tosses out two guns—a small pistol and a hunting rifle.

“What?” He says when he sees her staring at the weapons. She didn’t even know those were there. “You think I was dumb enough to only steal one gun from the armory when we got here?” He tucks the pistol in the back waistband of his pants and hands her the rifle. “In case something goes wrong.”

It’s hard to believe that just moments ago her only pressing worry was finding a comfortable sleeping position. She draws Murphy in for a hard kiss, her free hand caressing his jaw.

He’s gone before she realizes she never told him she loved him.

 

* * *

 

In her defense, she does wait. She waits for 47 minutes.

Murphy doesn’t call, and while the sky is still dark, she knows dawn is fast approaching. It worries her—not only that she has no idea what is going on, but that whatever her friends are dealing with could be exposed in the daylight. Eden woke up at the crack of dawn. Soon, people would start heading to work and if her friends were caught doing something illegal…

The thought drives her insane. And it becomes enough to get dressed and head over to the shed, damn everything else to hell. She needs to know what is going on. Murphy could be hurt for all she knows… or even…

No. She won’t let her mind go there.

She trudges through the deep snow, the hunting rifle strapped to her back. It’s a slow journey, but she doesn’t want to lose her balance, especially now that her gait is morphing more into a sort of waddle. They must’ve gotten at least six more inches of snow overnight.

The first indication that something is indeed, _very wrong,_ hits her when she sees the shed in the distance.

A smell so putrid she has to stop and cover her nose with her scarf. It triggers her gag reflex, it’s so bad.

_C’mon Raven. You can do this._

She continues on, her hand keeping her scarf on her nose to minimize the stench, not that it helps much. It’s similar to the smell Bellamy carried on his person after they fought the others off at their first settlement, but intensified.

Then, coming from the opposite side of the shed, she sees a figure. Her heart thuds in her chest, and her hands reach for the rifle on her back.

She sees the person grab a pistol from a leg holster, walking slowly but steadily toward the shed.

_No, no, no, no, no._

Drawing in as much strength as she has, she increases her pace until she’s able to get a good look at who it is. Momentarily, her eyebrows draw together in confusion, but it dawns on her almost immediately afterward.

The man touches the door of the shed, and he’s about to open it when his ears pick up on Raven loading her rifle.

“Drop your gun,” she orders.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know!! I left you guys hanging for a week. I'm sorry! 
> 
> I literally wrote three versions of this chapter, so this is why it took forever. It needed to be right to set up for the next one, and I was struggling with it. Hopefully, the longer wait is worth it! You guys have all been amazing and every time I see I have a new message, I get giddy. Yes. I said giddy :P


	22. Salvation Pt. II

Raven knows she must make quite the sight.

Here she is, super pregnant, with a loaded rifle, tense and ready to fire at any given moment. She won’t hesitate. She can’t. Not when her friends— _when Murphy—_ was inside the shed. There is nothing in the universe she wouldn’t be willing to do to protect them.

“I said, drop your gun,” Raven repeats, jerking her rifle once for effect. “Drop it.”

It took her a second to recognize the man before her, seeing as he usually kept to himself. Teddy might have a place in Russell’s cabinet, but he wasn’t one to put himself in the spotlight. She’d only actually seen him a few times in the months they’ve been in Eden.

Teddy drops his pistol onto the snow, raising his hands up in the air. He says nothing, but she sees a flash of fear cross his eyes. He pushes his dark glasses up on his face with one hand, before returning it to its position above his head.

Raven motions for him to shuffle back with her rifle, and she kicks his pistol toward her once he’s a safe distance away.

“I wasn’t going to shoot you,” Teddy says, his voice tired. “I’d be a monster to… in your condition.”

Raven lets a sharp exhale escape her lips. “Strike one. I’ve known many monsters in my life. And I’ve learned not to judge a book by its cover.”

She can’t let herself waver. Despite their proximity to the shed, she knows the others can’t hear her. She soundproofed that shed. You couldn’t hear a bomb exploding outside if you wanted to. And there was a reason for that. The aliens were loud.

“It’s Raven, right?” Teddy asks, and she doesn’t answer. “Raven, put the rifle down. I’m not here to hurt anyone.”

She lets a bitter smile appear on her face. “Let me guess, you’re here to help.” She takes a step closer to him. “Did Russell send you?”

“Someone complained…Of the smell I mean.”

Yeah… Sealing the shed was something they ran out of time to do. It had been a low-priority item on the list.

Raven stays silent, mainly because she doesn’t want to accidentally divulge any information. She’s not sure what he already knows, and she’s going to try to hold the upper hand for as long as possible.

“Whatever is going on…I can help you,” he says. “ _We_ can help you.”

She aims the rifle up at the trees and fires a warning shot. Teddy ducks, his hands coming down to protect his head before he realizes she missed on purpose. “Strike two,” she says. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t shoot you between the eyes right now.”

“If you kill me, they’ll take away your baby and exile you,” he blurts out, and she stiffens. “There are fates worse than death, and none of you deserve that.” Sensing he has her attention, he continues, “Don’t make us out to be something we’re not. We aren’t the enemy.”

 He could have said anything after that first sentence. He could have said the world was falling around them. He could have said the ground was splitting below her. Nothing would have mattered.

_They’ll take away your baby._

The words reverberate in her mind like a recurring nightmare. Cold tendrils of dread crawl up her spine, and she takes a deep breath to calm herself. If they wanted her baby, they’d have to pry him from her stiff, lifeless hands. Over her dead body.

She holds Teddy’s gaze, neither of them backing down. This can only end one way. What is one more kill in her book?

But her fingers aren’t cooperating with her head. She hesitates.

And when the shed door opens, blocking Teddy from view as Octavia files out and throws up in the snow, she knows she’s lost her chance.

The smell hits her like a ten-pound brick. She couldn’t have shot Teddy even if he was still in view. If she thought the air was putrid before… She gags into the snow, trying to avert her gaze from Octavia retching a step away from her shoes.

She looks inside the shed, and sees her friends—and Murphy—all looking back at her. And beyond them, Fido.

Or what was left of the alien.

It’s slumped forward in his chains, and where once stood pallid grey skin are patches of purple-red tissue. It’s fingers with its garish claws are no longer there. Its extremities have been reduced to nothing but round stumps. Blue blood courses through his body, and with the skin gone, she can see the beating round organ in its chest. It protrudes outward with each shallow pump.

“Red fever,” she whispers, and takes a step back.

Clarke takes a step toward her. “Raven, what are you doing here?” she asks, panic in her voice. “You shouldn’t be here.”

Her mind can’t even compute what is going on. It’s like she’s on system overload. Her mouth bobs open once, searching for an answer. She chances a glance at Murphy, and…He doesn’t look angry that she didn’t stay in their unit. He looks resigned. Somehow, that’s worse.

Murphy steps out from where he was leaning against the computer desk and strides out. “It’s not contagious,” he says, grabbing her hand, as if wanting to steady her. Good. She needs that. “ _Right?”_ He looks back at Eleanor, who bobs her head.

Before he pulls her inside, she looks around the door, and sees a trail of footprints disappearing back into the main trail. Octavia spits one last time before shutting the door to the shed.

Her senses come back in full force, like snapping out of a dream and she looks up at Murphy. “You were supposed to call me.”

Murphy purses his lips, shooting a glare in Bellamy and Clarke’s direction. “I was going to. I wanted to—I knew you would come here if I didn’t. But _they_ told me it wasn’t a good idea. That I was putting you in danger.”

Raven shakes her head to herself, side-eyeing Bellamy in the process. “Do me a favor,” she tells Murphy. “Don’t _ever_ take relationship advice from those two. If you want to tell me something, then you fucking tell me.”

Bellamy makes an indignant sound at the back of his throat. “Nice. Sorry for trying to watch out for you.”

“That’s not your job, Bell,” Raven says. Taking a deep breath, she turns to the rest of them. “What is going on?”

Eleanor tells her that she and Octavia were in the middle of their shift watching Fido when it happened. The alien howled in pain, and his skin began melting from his body. Within five minutes, it looked like this.

“I’ve never seen red fever happen so fast,” Eleanor says. “It’s still alive though. Though I’m not sure for how long.”

“Well we need to do something fast,” Raven says. “Teddy knows something is going on.”

Eleanor’s brow furrows as the others look at her, worry creasing their features. “Teddy?” Eleanor questions, and she hears Murphy curse beside her.

“I don’t think he knows exactly what is going on in here. But he knows it’s bad.”

“And how does he know that?” Emori asks. Shaw squeezes her hand.

“Because I almost shot him.” At their alarmed expressions, she adds, “He had a _gun._ And he was coming in here. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“How about not waive around a rifle at the first chance you get?” Bellamy chastises.

Raven opens her mouth to defend herself, but Murphy shuts him down before she can.

“Easy,” he says to Bellamy as his hand comes to rest at the small of Raven’s back. “You would’ve done the same fucking thing.”

From the other side of the shed, sitting in a stool, Raven hears Diyoza let out an annoyed grunt. “Instead of bickering like menopausal women, we should be trying to figure out how the hell to throw Fido over the gates. He can’t be here when Russell comes sniffing around.”

“What does Teddy know?” Eleanor asks Raven, who shrugs in response.

“I don’t know. Apparently someone complained of the smell.”

“Fuck.”

Raven’s eyes widen. This is the first time she’s heard Eleanor swear, and the word sounds alien in her honeysuckle voice.

“Why don’t we do that?” Clarke asks, and Raven eyes her like she’s crazy. Actually, they all do. “No, not _that._ I mean throw Fido over the gates.” Her voice has a desperate edge. “If we throw him over the wall behind us, that could explain the smell. It could just be an other that caught red fever and died in close proximity with us.”

Raven shakes her head. “Russell will never believe that.”

“Russell isn’t here,” Clarke says. “He’s overseeing a fishing expedition on the west coast.”

“But Teddy—” Bellamy interjects.

“Is a coward. He’s not going to come back tonight, not when Raven likely scared the living daylights out of him.” Clarke’s tone is final and Bellamy pipes down, her faithful knight as always.

“Who cares if he comes back tonight or tomorrow?” Echo says. “He still knows something. We need to get rid of him.”

Eleanor springs up to her feet. “ _No_ ,” she says. “We are not _murdering_ him in cold blood. He has a _family._ He has a _wife._ ”

None of them are brave enough to make eye contact with Eleanor. She’s too naïve—too good for them. Raven should have shot him when she had the chance. Eden has made her soft. But not soft enough to know getting rid of Teddy is the survivor’s move.

“It’s our only choice,” Echo says.

Eleanor shakes her head, anger flashing in her blue eyes. “There is _always_ another choice.” She swallows hard, and Raven wonders how long she’s known Teddy. Probably all of her life. “Let me talk to him,” she pleads. “I’m sure I can get through to him and convince him to stay quiet.”

Murphy exhales sharply, his tongue tracing his bottom lip as he smiles bitterly. “Absolutely not. This isn’t some sort of secret society where we slice our palms and become blood brothers. It was bad enough when we had to add her,” he points at Diyoza, who rolls her eyes. “It’s too big a risk. We need to kill him.”

“We are _not_ killing Teddy,” Eleanor says through her teeth.

“No, we’re not.” Bellamy’s voice cuts through all of them. “We made a vow—to be better in this new planet. Killing him would be breaking that vow.”

Murphy snorts. “It’s really easy to talk about upholding vows when you don’t have much to lose,” he retorts, and Bellamy narrows his eyes.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You and Clarke are in Russell’s cabinet. You guys aren’t going to take the blame for any of this—we are, and some of us, have a little bit more on the line, wouldn’t you say?”

Bellamy doesn’t take the bait. He knows, and so does Raven, that Murphy is going into survival mode. Only this time, it’s magnified to include her and their baby. She knows there is no line he wouldn’t cross to keep them safe. Murder would be but a blimp in his conscience.

Despite the differing group consensus, it only takes them a couple minutes to come up with a plan. If this plan fails…well they can revisit the idea of getting rid of Teddy, and likely Russell too.

They’ll be split into three groups: One will be in charge of throwing Fido over Eden’s walls, another will go about dismantling the shed back to its bare bones, and the third will go to Teddy’s house to try and talk to him. They all will meet at Bellamy and Clarke’s unit in exactly one hour.

“Eleanor, Clarke, Diyoza,” Bellamy nods at them. “You should be the ones to talk to Teddy.”

Diyoza stands up and shakes her head. “No can do—this is your mess, not mine. I’m going home to my daughter.”

Raven’s not surprised. Disappointed, but deep down, she’s also envious. She wishes she could walk away as easily as Diyoza is right now.

“Once a traitor, always a traitor,” Octavia bites.

Diyoza smirks. “Good luck. You’ll need it.”

After she leaves, Bellamy looks over at the rest of them. “We’ll deal with her later. Murphy, Emori, and O—you guys come with me to dump Fido’s body. Raven, Shaw and Echo can take care of the shed.”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Murphy says and the group stops in their tracks. Bellamy stops, his hands on his hips as he sends an exasperated look Murphy’s way. “I’m not leaving Raven alone here.”

“She’s not alone, she has us,” Echo reassures, but Murphy doesn’t budge. Tension sparks between him and Bellamy, and the men have a silent communication that Raven is unable to decipher. She wishes she knew what happened before she got there.

“I’ll go with you guys,” Shaw offers. “Murphy can stay here.”

Bellamy doesn’t break eye-contact with Murphy. “Fine. Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

There are aspects about removing their equipment from the shed that are very simple: Boxing up the lab equipment, downloading the data from the computers into a jump drive and carefully storing the remaining DNA samples away safely.

But the cage is a different story.

Octavia and Murphy had truly welded an iron masterpiece. At first, Murphy tried to cut it down using an electric hacksaw, and while that was working, it was taking too long. So, though he didn’t want to leave Raven, he ended up needing to. A torch would be the quickest way to cut the cage down into something that at least didn’t resemble a prison.

Raven closes the final case of blood vials and hands them to Echo, who stifles a yawn. Her eyes are rimmed with dark circles. Even then, she is watching out for her. “Are holding up okay?” Echo asks.

“I’m fine,” Raven says. “I mean, I’m worried but…”

Echo nods in understanding. “We’ll get through this. We always do. Our fight isn’t over yet.”

No, it’s not. They have so much to live for. It would be a shame for everything to implode around them, considering they had more questions instead of answers about what the hell the others are. It doesn’t feel worth it to Raven. And she knows if they lose Eden over this—if she loses her baby—she will regret getting into this mess for the rest of her life.

The thought makes her anxious, and she can feel Jamie send a swift kick to the right of her stomach. She places her palm over the spot and clears her throat, changing the subject to something that’s been on her mind since she got to the shed. “Something happened between Murphy and Bellamy, didn’t it?”

Echo sighs, taking a seat in a nearby stool. “I knew you were going to ask me about that.”

Raven leans against the now-empty table beside her. “How bad?”

“Think post-breakup with Emori but pre-exile to the other side of the Ring.”

Raven whistles. That had been a dark time. “Was it really about him wanting to keep me in the loop?”

“Among other things,” Echo says. “He’s frustrated about the situation. If you ask me, I think Clarke and Bellamy’s idealism isn’t helping, and sometimes,” she sighs. “Sometimes, I think they have a hard time looking beyond what’s best for the many, and seeing what’s best for the few.”

“Do you think that makes us selfish? The fact we wanted to save our own skin?”

“No. It makes us human.”

The door to the shed opens, and Raven reaches for her rifle automatically. But it’s just Murphy, and she relaxes. Echo offers to help him dismantle the cage but he waves her off and tells her to start taking stuff to Bellamy and Clarke’s unit. Echo makes a face—it’s probably not high on her wish list to see her ex’s new love nest, no matter the extenuating circumstances.

She grabs a couple boxes and heads out.

Murphy slips on a pair of heat-resistant gloves and lights the torch, searing the iron to melt the carefully crafted welds. It is faster than sawing through, and the heat coming from the torch feels nice in the wintry temperature of the shed.

Echo comes and goes a couple more times, and Raven wishes she could be of more help. But she’s exhausted, and Echo and Murphy don’t want her carrying any of the heavy equipment. She’s only here to make sure Murphy doesn’t accidentally burn off a hand—which with how fast he’s working, is an actual concern.

When the iron bars have been reduced to standalone pillars on the shed floor, Murphy turns off the torch. He starts to lay them upright against the wall. “Not like we have time to make these disappear, so start coming up with a good lie when we’re being questioned.”

“I’m quick on my feet,” Raven says, and Murphy smirks for the first time that morning. But it’s gone almost as fast as it appeared. She closes the distance between them, laying a hand on his tense bicep. “We should get to Bellamy and Clarke’s place. Everyone’s probably waiting on us.”

He sighs as he takes off his gloves. “Such a waste of time. We should be going to our work shifts and pretending everything is normal.”

“I don’t know if I could work eight hours today,” she says and Murphy’s brow furrows. Her voicing that out loud is worrisome for him. She’s never been one to admit weakness. Not for the first time tonight, she wishes she could ignore everything and curl up in her bed.

He snakes a hand around her waist. “You doing okay?”

“I’m fine.” She’s not. She’s not fine at all. But telling him otherwise wouldn’t help to accomplish anything.

It doesn’t matter anyway. Murphy knows her enough to know when she’s lying.

“You’re not fine,” he says.

Raven tugs her bottom lip in between her teeth. She almost doesn’t really want to tell him what’s really bothering her.

This—Fido getting sick, Teddy coming to investigate, clearing out the shed so Russell doesn’t find out what they were doing… She doesn’t care about any of that. Those are all insignificant events in the grand scope of things.

“Raven,” Murphy nudges, growing impatient with her unnerving silence.

She closes her eyes. “Teddy said they’ll take him away.”

Murphy hands unwind from her midriff and he turns her gently to face him. When she opens her eyes, his jaw is set. “Take who away.”

Instead of saying it out loud, she lays a hand over her stomach and every bone in Murphy’s body goes rigid. His eyes are livid—liquid fire—as they bore into hers. “That’s not going to happen.”

She swallows hard and he tilts her chin up to him, cradling her face with both hands. “Reyes, look at me.” Her eyes lift up to his. “I won’t let that happen.”

“That makes two of us, then,” she says, though her voice lacks the conviction she wishes it had.

Murphy searches her eyes for a beat, looking for what, she’s not sure. It’s not like she’s hiding her fears from him—he knows her inside and out. He’s seen her at her worst, and her best. There’s nothing she wouldn’t share with him.

“I guess I’m just tired of being the weak link, too,” she says, and Murphy eyes like he doesn’t know what she means. “You guys are all out there in the action—getting rid of Fido, talking Teddy down, and moving stuff out of this shed. I’m useless,” she murmurs that last sentence.

“C’mon Raven Reyes could never be useless,” he says. “That’s my role, remember? I’m the cockroach.”

She rolls her eyes, a small smile forming on her lips. “I mean, I guess I did scare the living daylights out of Teddy.”

Murphy leans in and kisses her… Hard, like he depended on her for oxygen. It certainly feels that way now.

“Raven, you’re growing a human inside you,” he whispers. “ _Our son._ That’s the opposite of being useless. All we’re doing is trying to be the good guys so he never has to go through what we did—what you and I had to.” He brushes a few stray hairs behind her ear. “Let me bear that.”

She takes a deep breath and nods. “Ok,” she says, and then, “I love you, you know that right?”

He kisses her again, and it doesn’t even matter that the others are probably waiting on them. The world could fall at her feet right now and she would hardly blink. “I do,” he says with a smirk. “But it’s nice to finally hear it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry guys, I didn't mean to leave you hanging. Work has been INSANE the last couple of weeks. Things haven't exactly calmed down, but I'm hoping to have the next chapter to you guys by Sunday or Monday.


	23. Salvation Pt. III

The sun is starting to rise as they arrive at the base of the tree that houses Clarke and Bellamy’s units. They managed to not attract much attention this early in the morning. The streets are starting to fill up with bleary-eyed people shuffling to their early morning shifts. They’re paying no attention to a man and his pregnant counterpart. Not having a rifle strapped to her back helps too. Murphy buried it in the snow behind the shed, claiming he’ll go get it tonight.

If they manage to make it that far. Russell should be getting back to camp soon, and who’s to say he won’t throw them all in jail or exile them for sedition.

“I’m hungry,” she tells Murphy once they’re inside the lift. “Also, I really need to use the bathroom.” Her son had landed a few swift kicks to her bladder on the way here, and she’s lucky she’s been able to hold it in this long.

“Not to be negative, but I doubt Blake’s going to greet us with food this time around. But he does have a bathroom, so there’s that.”

Raven simply huffs in frustration.

Murphy only has to knock once before the door flies open. Madi steps aside to let them in and Raven makes a beeline for the bathroom without acknowledging anyone. Murphy takes a seat at the dining table, and picks up on the welcoming smell of coffee. Before he even has to ask, Emori puts a steaming cup in front of him—and he knows it’s exactly how he likes it. No cream, and three spoonfuls of sugar.

He inhales the bitter scent before taking a slow sip. Then, he glances around the table, noticing for the first time that two people are still missing. “Where’s Clarke and Eleanor? Shouldn’t they be here by now?”

“They should be, but they’re not,” Bellamy says, a tense line in his jaw. “If they’re not back in the next 10 minutes, I’m going after them.”

“You’re doing no such thing,” Echo says. “If something went wrong, you’re not going to help the situation by getting yourself arrested too.”

Raven waddles out of the bathroom, relief clear in her features. She’d had a pretty smooth pregnancy thus far, but these increased trips to the bathroom were testing her patience. A small price to pay for a baby on the way, and she knows other women have worse symptoms throughout the nine months, but she’s still going to complain about it.

She takes a seat beside Murphy, her mouth almost salivating at the cup of hot coffee in his hands. She sees Emori making her way with a mug, and she starts to smile in appreciation before she sees what Emori places before her. “Absolutely not,” Raven says, looking at her cup of herbal tea. “This taste likes ass. Get me coffee, please.”

“Excess caffeine is bad for the baby,” Emori says. “Or do you want him to be born addicted and experience withdrawal symptoms?”

Murphy sighs. “I’ll get you a cup,” he says to Raven. He grabs the cup of tea in front of her. On his way to the kitchen she hears him say to Emori, “Seriously? You want to make a big deal about coffee _this_ morning?”

“This morning or tomorrow morning makes no difference. She’s still having a baby,” comes Emori’s razor-sharp answer.

He sets a cup in front of her—cream no sugar, just the way she likes it—and she stares up at him thankfully as he brushes her hair away from her forehead to give her a quick kiss. It’s unlike him to show this kind of display of affection in front of their friends. But it hasn’t exactly been a normal morning.

Madi takes a basket of bread from Bellamy, and she hands it to Shaw to pass around the table. Bellamy takes a seat at the helm of the table, resting his elbows on the surface and bracing his head against his closed fists.

Shaw cuts a slice from a baker’s loaf before passing the basket on to Octavia. “Should we be thinking of a contingency plan, in case they don’t come back?”

“They _will_ come back,” Emori says, sitting across from him in the table.

“But if they don’t,” he insists. “Maybe we should leave Eden. I’ve seen places from the air that we could hide at.”

“Leaving those gates is a death sentence,” Bellamy says firmly. “We’d die from the elements before anything else.”

His words draw an unnerving stretch of silence from them all. Dying from hunger, thirst or hypothermia should be the last things Raven should be worrying about right now. Not for the first time that morning, she wishes they would have left things well enough alone and just enjoyed Eden for what it was—a fresh start. One that they’ve likely obliterated with their greedy need to know.

Maybe Allie was right. The root of the problem standing between a better life for all was too many people. Raven is sure the people of Eden will feel that way as soon as their experimentation with Fido comes to light.

“Plus, some of us are in no condition to go all Huckleberry Finn at the drop of a hat,” Murphy mutters.

“And by some of us, he means me,” Raven says tiredly. She points to her belly. “Baby on board. I’m not giving birth in a cave somewhere.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” Murphy says. “I was also referring to Jordan. The guy can barely stand up on his own.”

“No one is going anywhere,” Bellamy blurts out, putting Shaw’s idea to rest. His tone meant the conversation was over.

Raven exchanges a loaded glance with Murphy. She’s so worried her insides feel like they’re permanently twisted. Murphy nods almost imperceptibly, his hand coming to rest atop hers on the table. It helps.

They sit in tense silence for what seems like hours. Logically, she knows it’s probably only been about 20 minutes. Long enough for her to start getting drowsy, despite just having had coffee. It had been a long night, and she hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep as it was before Bellamy called. Her body was demanding she take a break.

She was just about to ask Bellamy if she could lay down on their couch when she hears the faint click of the front door opening. They all turn toward the sound, and from her peripheral vision, Raven can see the tension physically leave Bellamy’s body as he sees Clarke.

He stands in one fluid motion, crossing the room to wrap her tightly in his arms. The action feels intimate, and Raven averts her eyes. Eleanor comes around the table, a sad smile on her lips as she takes a seat, arms wrapped around herself.

“What happened?” Bellamy asks, peering over Clarke’s head to look at Eleanor. “You guys were supposed to be back almost two hours ago.”

“Things…didn’t go according to plan,” Eleanor said.

Well, no shit. Raven thought that much was obvious.

Clarke pulls away from Bellamy, walking over to Madi and smoothing her hair back. “We tried,” she said. “We really tried to get him on our side.”

“Did you kill him?” Octavia asks point-blank.

“Of course we didn’t,” Eleanor responds as she shakes her head, her eyes closing in apparent disgust. “Why is that your solution to every problem?”

“So what happened?” Raven presses.

Clarke sighs and makes her way back to Bellamy, who has sat back down at the helm of the table. She perches herself on his knee. “First off, we were too late. He’d already told Russell something was up.”

“From there, it was just a question of what was up,” Eleanor says. “Once we told him, in an attempt to get him to see our point of view, he had everything he needed.”

“You told him what we did after he told you Russell knew something was going on?” Raven says. How could they be so stupid?

“We didn’t know he’d already called Russell,” Clarke clarifies, and then turning to Octavia, she adds, “Killing him wouldn’t have helped anything. It would have granted us a one-way ticket to prison—or exile.”

“Did he say anything about that?” Shaw leans forward. “Did he mention prison or exile?”

“They are possibilities, yes.”

Raven sinks down in her seat, her hands coming up to rub at her temples. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Her heart starts beating a thunderous rhythm in her chest, and the tightness in her chest suddenly felt confining, like the walls were closing in around her.

The others continued to discuss the problem around her—but for her, everything is in slow motion. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, and her palms begin to slick with sweat. Their words bounced off the walls around her, like faraway echoes. Her vision goes grainy, fuzzy at the edges as if she’s looking at everything through gauze.

This isn’t a seizure. She’s well-versed in those. This is different. It’s like the life is being sucked out of her.

Prison. Exile.

_They’ll take away your baby._

Her breaths start coming in short pants, and she faintly registers Murphy calling her name, brushing her hair back and wiping away the beads of sweat that have dotted her forehead. She hears the scratch of the chair sliding against the floor as Murphy bolts into action. She sees Emori race to the kitchen, and Clarke calls out to Raven as she kneels beside her chair. Everyone else backs up, giving her space.

“They’re going to take him away,” she says, her words a hair above a whisper. It’s likely she’s been repeating them for minutes now.

Clarke shushes her, telling her to breath—steady, in and out.

“They’re going to—”

“Shhh,” Clarke murmurs soothingly. “ _Ste yuj. Oso throu daun ogeda.”_

The trigedasleng gives her pause. It’s been ages since she’s heard someone speak it. And that helps. She imitates Clarke’s deep breaths, and her heart starts to calm down in her chest. Emori comes around to her and hands her a glass of water.

Clarke brushes away the wayward tears that have trailed down Raven’s cheeks. Raven looks at Murphy, who is leaning against the wall, concerned. She’s never had a panic attack. Though she’s not surprised it happened. Everything that has happened over the last few hours has been… a lot. Her body literally had a system overload.

“I think I need to lie down,” she says to Clarke once she’s able to talk.

“You can use my bed,” Madi says and Raven nods gratefully.

Emori and Clarke help her to her feet by grabbing on to her forearms, and Raven cradles her belly as she stands. They lead her to Madi’s bedroom, and Raven lies down over the comforter. She just needs to close her eyes for a second.

 

* * *

 

She wakes up to the feel of someone lighting shaking her hip. Her eyes flutter open, drowsiness still holding her heavy to the bed. She lets out a long sigh, stretching her arms in front of her. She feels Jamie move inside her, like he’s stretching after a long nap too.

“How long was I out?” she asks Murphy, her voice thick with sleep.

He squeezes her hip. “Just a few hours. It’s late morning now.” His hand travels up the side of her body, coming to a rest on her shoulder. “I would’ve let you sleep longer, but you need to eat. Clarke made breakfast.”

Raven makes a face. “I don’t want to eat that.”

Murphy laughs, his tongue peeking out to lick his lips. “It’s…not that bad?”

“It’s bad,” Raven says, slowly curling herself to a sitting position. “I’d really like for our last meal together to not be Clarke’s awful cooking.”

“It’s not going to be our last meal together,” Murphy says. “Lunch is in a couple of hours.”

She sighs. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” he brushes a few wayward strands of loose hair behind her ear. “But while you were asleep, we had a few developments, and things are…” He furrows his brow, searching for words. “Things aren’t looking up, but they’re not exactly doom and gloom.”

“What do you mean?” Dammit. She just had sleep while stuff was going on. It frustrates her… She should’ve been awake.

“For starters, Russell isn’t coming back anytime soon.”

“What?”

“Seems like his fishing expedition has reached a bit of a standstill—They’re grounded in ice somewhere in the middle of the ocean. There’s another blizzard coming in tonight, a bad one. Should last a couple days. No one can go rescue them until it passes.”

This is good news, somewhat. It gives them time to plan their next move. And more time could mark the difference between exile and saving their asses.

“Ok, so we have a couple days,” she says with a nod. “What are we going to do with them? We should go back to the shed and get rid of the iron bars we left behind.”

“Already on it,” Murphy says. “Octavia and Echo are going to take the pieces to the blacksmith’s station tonight and melt them back down.”

That’s good. One less thing to worry about.

“There’s another thing,” Murphy adds. “Teddy wants to talk to us. Tonight. Me, you and Bellamy and Clarke.”

“What for?” She asks, unwillingness present in her tone. Raven doesn’t want to have anything to do with him, and the fact he wants to talk doesn’t bode well. “I don’t want—”

“He says he has information about the others,” Murphy says, cutting her off. “And he’s suddenly in a sharing mood.”

Raven shakes her head quickly, looking down at the floorboards beneath their feet. “It’s a trap.” There wasn’t another explanation. She’s not going to place her trust on a man she hardly knows.

“It could be,” Murphy agrees. “But, what other choice do we have?”

Not many. She’s never felt more backed up in a corner. Lifting her gaze to meet his, she eyes him warily. “Are you going to make me stay behind again?”

“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to do,” he says with a tired sigh. “So what do you want to do?”

She doesn’t want to meet with Teddy, but… “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going.”

“Okay then,” Raven says. “If you go, I go.”

 

* * *

 

Raven wishes she could say she had a productive day after that. But truth be told, she had been really exhausted. They left Bellamy and Clarke’s unit shortly after Murphy woke Raven up, and Murphy cooked her breakfast in their unit—a detail for which she is most grateful. No one made better breakfast than Murphy.

She learned that after her freak-out, most of their friends went to work. Some were late, some managed to make it on time. Murphy called Jones and told him Raven wasn’t feeling well, doing the same for his own overseer, and both got excused for the day. No questions asked. Call that a pregnancy perk.

After she ate, she wasn’t surprised to see Abby at their door. Murphy had called her and told her of what happened. Abby gave her a long speech about stress, eating right and sleeping, during which Raven struggled hard to not roll her eyes. “Taking it easy,” isn’t as simple as it sounds when their lives are on the cusp of destruction.

Maybe that was an exaggeration, but that’s how she felt. Though, she did sleep for most of the day after Abby left. So there was that.

“Put an extra layer on,” Murphy says as he passes by her in their bedroom. “Temperature’s dropped another 12 degrees, and will drop more once the sun fully sets.”

“You want to tie my boot laces while you’re at it?” She says, growing a bit tired of Murphy telling her what to do all day. She knows she gave him a scare this morning but still. Helicoptering was Bellamy’s thing. It wasn’t a good look on Murphy.

But she has to give it to him. The man has learned how to pick his battles. He hands her an extra thermal layer instead of responding.

She slips it over her existing long-sleeved tee, but the fabric stretches too taught around her middle. “It’s too small,” she says, pulling it over her head. “I’m a whale.”

“You’re not a whale,” Murphy says, handing her another thermal. It’s his. “Think of it this way—at least we’re not having twins.”

“God,” She snorts. The thermal fits her well, albeit a bit loose around the arms and collar, but that’s to be expected. “He’s already kicking my ribs and bladder constantly. I can’t imagine having two of them in there.”

Murphy slips on a wool hat, handing her one too. “Ready?”

She pulls a heavier knit sweater over her head. Their coats are hanging by the door. “Guess I’m gonna have to be.”

Teddy doesn’t live too far. The couple’s units—where most of Eden’s population lives—is only a five minute walk away from their sector. Raven glances up at the sequoia that is home to Kane and Abby’s unit, and hopes Jordan is doing okay. She’s glad he didn’t get dragged into this mess.

Once at Teddy’s door, Murphy knocks three times. A small petite woman, with olive skin and bright green eyes, answers the door. Her short hair just reaches her chin, and she smiles at them.

“Teddy’s in the study with Bellamy and Clarke,” she says after welcoming them inside and introducing herself. Her name is Amaya, she tells them as she gets their coats. “Can I get you guys anything?”

“We’re okay, thank you,” Raven says. Pleasantries are still foreign to her, but with all the Edenites being so goddamn nice all the time, she knows manners are expected. Plus, Amaya clearly doesn’t know why they’re meeting. She probably wouldn’t be so polite if she knew Raven had pointed a rifle at her husband this morning.

The way she’s eyeing Raven—or more specifically, her midsection—is also a bit unsettling. Murphy doesn’t miss that. He settles his hand protectively at the small of her back.

Amaya leads them into the unit’s spare bedroom, except it’s been converted into an office complete with double frosted French doors— ones Amaya shuts quietly behind them, leaving Raven and Murphy inside the study with Bellamy, Clarke and Teddy.

Bellamy is leaning against the far wall, and Clarke is sitting in an armchair besides him. Teddy is perched on the edge of his desk, and he gestures to a small white couch in front of him. “Please, take a seat.”

“Quite a space you’ve got here,” Murphy says as they sit down. He’s observing the abstract art on the wall.

“Thank you,” Teddy says. “We didn’t need the spare bedroom, so we thought… We might as well remodel it to better suit our needs.” There’s a sad note in his voice, and as if shaking himself out of a reverie, he suddenly changes his posture, and turns to Raven. “Now that we’re all here, I’d like to apologize.”

Raven raises an eyebrow. “To me?”

He nods. “I scared you this morning, and Clarke told me about what happened.” Raven narrows her eyes and looks over at Clark as Teddy continues to speak. “I want to assure you. No one is taking your baby from you. I only said that to—”

“To save your own ass,” Murphy says, interrupting him. “I know you can’t even begin to comprehend what damage words like that can do, but—”

“I should’ve approached the situation differently,” Teddy says.

Well, she did have a rifle pointed at his face. She can’t fault him for saving anything to make her hesitate. It’s what she would have done in his shoes.

Teddy sighs. “Anyways, that’s not what I brought you guys here for.”

“What did you bring us here for?” Clarke asks. “You were very adamant this morning about turning us in to Russell.”

“I’m not turning you guys in,” Teddy says. “I mean, technically, you guys didn’t do anything illegal. You endangered the whole settlement by bringing an other inside these walls, but there’s nothing in the bylaws about situations like this.”

“So it would be Russell’s call,” Murphy mutters. “ _Great_.”

Teddy shakes his head. “Russell isn’t going to exile you guys. He can’t. We _need_ you. If we kicked you out of Eden, how many would follow you?”

“A lot,” Bellamy says. If they left Eden, they’d take Madi with them. And if Madi left, the grounders still devoted to the commander would follow her.

“Well, there you go,” Teddy says. He reaches up to rub his temple, screwing his eyes shut for a second. “The truth is, I can’t fault you for wanting answers. Especially when nothing about this world is familiar to you guys yet.”

They look up at him expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

He takes a deep breath. “Your answers aren’t in the alien’s DNA—at least not fully.”

Raven perks up at this. “What do you know?”

“We lied to you about the others,” he says. “They’re not native to Kainos… Our ancestors created them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So February was a crazy and intense month for me with work. I'm also in the throes of remodeling my house lol So I apologize for the lack of updates last month. Things seem to have calmed down a bit, so I'm hoping to at least post once a week from now on, but I'm aiming for twice a week. Thanks for all your support as always!


	24. Salvation Pt. IV

After dropping that bomb on them, Teddy stands up and walks slowly to a bar cart on the other side of the study, opposite Bellamy and Clarke who are doing that silent communication thing of theirs. Raven would look at Murphy, but she’s too busy trying to put the puzzle pieces together of everything they know about the others.

She knew these aliens weren’t native to Kainos. She guessed it when DNA showed that the others shared part of the human genome. It hadn’t made sense. How could they share the same genome if humans didn’t inhabit this planet until a hundred years ago? But creating them? That was a different ballpark.

“We figured out they weren’t native to this planet a while ago,” Raven says and Teddy lets a small smile graze his lips as he pours an amber liquid into four glasses.

“Of course you did,” Teddy says, extending a glass to Murphy. A sharp smell of alcohol reaches Raven’s nose as Murphy takes it, swishing the liquid around before taking a sip. Murphy winces. “Good stuff,” Teddy adds. “My granddad’s recipe.” He hands Bellamy and Clarke a glass and takes the fourth for himself. “I would offer you one, Raven, but…”

“I’m good,” she says, hoping Teddy picks up on the no nonsense tone of her voice. This wasn’t a time for jokes. Plus, this one wasn’t particularly funny. The alcohol smells amazing and it’s making her mouth water.

“You said your ancestors created them,” Clarke says. “How?”

Teddy shrugs. “Wish I could tell you specifics, I really do. But that information is passed down from governor to governor—all I know is why they were created.”

“Great,” Murphy says, setting his half-empty glass on the side table. He wraps an arm around the back of the couch behind Raven, and she leans in to him. “Please, enlighten us.”

“As you know when our ancestors got here, their mission was to drill Kainos for oil. But they couldn’t go through with it. The planet’s beauty… it was unlike anything they’d ever seen. It was pristine. Pure.” Teddy pauses to take a swig of the bourbon in his glass.

“The military felt different,” Clarke says. They’ve already heard this part of the story.

“They were men and women used to following orders,” Teddy replies. “They had all lost contact with Earth, however. Now we know for sure, thanks to you guys, it was because life on Earth as they knew it was gone. That was always the speculation, but it’s good to finally know.”

Swirling his glass, he continues. “The military could best our ancestors at virtually all aspects of survival—and it was clear it was going to come to an ‘us versus them’ situation. They wanted two different things. The military would have ruined Kainos if they hadn’t been stopped.”  He speaks as if he’s convincing himself. Maybe, he is. “Anyways, the scientists had one advantage.”

“Let me guess,” Murphy interrupts, his tone dripping with sarcasm, and… disgust? “Biological warfare. Your guys whipped up something nasty in a lab and it came back to bite you in the ass.”

Raven gets a flash of a memory she didn’t even know she had—Murphy, bloodied with torn fingernails, being dragged to the dropship half-dead. Yeah…They’ve both experienced being the victims of a nasty disease in the name of political gain.

“It was supposed to kill them. Not change them,” Teddy says with a long sigh. “Most did die but some…Well you can guess what happened to them.”

He reaches over to pull out a worn leather journal from his top-most desk drawer. “This is my great, great, great-grandfather’s. He…He didn’t come up with it, but he explains in detail what the situation was like. I’d like for you guys to read it,” he says, holding it out to Bellamy.

“So you asked us to come for a diary,” Murphy says. “Color me surprised. I thought you were actually going to tell us something useful.”

Teddy narrows his eyes. “It is useful. If you see what our ancestors went through for Eden, maybe you’ll show a bit more appreciation for the way we do things around here. I’m trying to help you guys.”

“Right, because reading that diary is suddenly going to let Russell let our acts slide.” Murphy rolls his eyes. Raven lays a hand on his thigh. He needs to reel it back a bit—they’re on Teddy’s turf, and he currently holds their future in his hands.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell Russell.”

All of them lift their eyes up to meet Teddy’s. Now that… That was a game changer.

“Now, I’m listening,” Murphy says.

So was Raven. But something about the way Teddy was looking at them… It made her feel uneasy. She feels her baby kick her high up around her ribs, and she suppresses a wince. “What do you want?” she asks.

“Turn to the page that’s dog-eared in the journal,” Teddy tells Bellamy. “Then read the third paragraph.”

Bellamy complies, his brows furrowed in confusion at the odd request. But Raven can see the exact moment something clicks. His features go hard, and instead of saying anything, he holds out the book so Clarke can read it.

Her blue eyes scan the page intensely, and when she looks up, there’s a fire in her eyes Raven hasn’t seen since Mount Weather. “We’ve discussed this.”

“I know we have.”

“Is this where you make a point?” Clarke counters. Raven looks at Murphy, and he shrugs discretely. This short conversation just shows Clarke and Bellamy are still keeping secrets.

Clarke hands the journal to Murphy and he holds it so that Raven can also read it. The pages are yellowed, but the handwriting is crisp and legible. It almost feels other-worldly to read out of a physical book.

_With our genetic pool, it’s extremely likely our population will eventually plateau. To delay this as long as possible, Gregorius has suggested a lottery. Each year, 20% of our fertile female population will be chosen to bear children, and records will be kept so as to avoid genetic deformities amongst close relations. No woman shall have more than one child with one man, to widen the pool as much as possible for future generations._

She looks at Murphy as soon as she finishes reading the short passage. It’s a rare occasion, but she can see he’s speechless. His mouth bobs open once, twice… He turns his head to look at her. She can see the uncertainty in his eyes before he looks back at Teddy.

“Why exactly…are you showing this to us?” Murphy says.

“Before you all arrived in Kainos, Russell and I had already been discussing this,” Teddy answers. “Conducting a lottery with the few fertile women and men in Eden.” He lets out a long exhale before he continues. “Our number of births had reached far beyond dire levels. But, things are currently not as conducive to the lottery approach as when our ancestors got here. People have wives, husbands… Russell wasn’t exactly keen on the tactic, and then you guys showed up. That changed everything for the better in his mind. We no longer needed to resort to this.”

“But…?” Raven presses.

“There are no buts,” Teddy says, further confusing her. “I just felt like you all should know what’s at stake.” With a glance in Bellamy and Clarke’s direction, he adds, “It seems like some of you are willing to destroy everything we have built up from the ground due to their own misconception that everyone is out to get them.”

Clarke looks away.

“Our ancestors did everything they could to ensure humanity lived on,” Teddy continues. “Even if that meant giving up part of their own humanity. Thanks to them, the generations that followed were able to live— _we_ were able to live, rather than just survive. I guess I just don’t understand why any of you would jeopardize that by biting the literal hand that feeds you.”

He was scolding them, like children. This is why he brought them here.

Raven was over it before he even began. “You know what I don’t understand? You had a chance to throw us under the bus and save us all this lovely discussion. Why didn’t you?”

Teddy gestures at her stomach with his palm. “You think that little baby should suffer for his parents’ mistakes?” Raven scowls. “I, for one,” Teddy says, “think that all children should grow up with both of their parents, unless their parents, of course, are a danger to the child.” He looks at her, and Raven knows he’s testing them… Testing how well they can keep their composure. “So I have to ask… _Are_ you a danger to your child?”

From the corner of her eye, she can see Murphy start to coil like a cobra ready to land a killer bite. She lays a hand on his thigh, squeezing in hopes he gets the message to cool it. Teddy is fishing for an excuse to rat them out.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for our baby,” Raven says, her voice steadier than she thought it would be. Her insides are a raging thunderstorm. Her heart is thudding against her ribcage. She’s never played a more high-risk strategy game, which is what this was. Teddy is measuring them, and she couldn’t allow him to see their weaknesses. “That’s why we did what we did. Our son deserves to know the kind of world he’s growing up in, and knowing the dangers is the best way we can keep him safe.”

Bellamy gives her a subtle nod, approving of her answer. Teddy looks down into his glass.

“You’re having a son?” he asks. His voice sounds small—almost meek. It’s a complete 180 from his demeanor just a few seconds ago.

Murphy clears his throat, and nods once. He doesn’t trust his words, it seems. Good. Murphy is better silent in situations like this.

Teddy glances at Raven’s hand, still on Murphy’s thigh. She loosens her grip.

“Are you ready to be a father?” Teddy asks Murphy. He crosses his arms and leans back on his desk, the now-empty glass of bourbon glaring in the yellow light of the room.

The corner of Murphy’s mouth quirks in a half-smirk. “That’s a trick question. I don’t think you’re ever ‘ready’ to be a dad.”

“I was,” Teddy says.

Raven furrows her brow. “You and your wife?..”

“Yeah, we got close,” he answers. “How far along are you?”

“About 28 weeks.”

Teddy hums, and a grieving look crosses his eyes behind his glasses. “We lost our son at 32 weeks. My wife had to carry him for another two before her body went into labor.”

His words chill Raven to the bone.

“It was a placental abnormality,” he continues. “The doctor didn’t see it until it was too late.”

“I’m so sorry,” Raven says, earnestly. “I can’t imagine—”

“And you shouldn’t need to, ever. I’m not telling you this because I want to make you feel guilty, or even feel pity for us,” Teddy says. “All I want, in exchange for keeping your actions a secret, is for you all to appreciate—really, truly appreciate—what you have here in Eden, and what you could build.”

He looks around at them. “This is your home now, not a halfway house until another apocalypse comes along. Just… drop the experimentations. The unknown sometimes is better left as is.”

 

* * *

 

The walk back home is mostly silent. Their boots crunch in the snow in tandem. Each step home feels like defeat.

Teddy won. It was as simple as that. They would end their search for the truth about the others, even if the truth feels like it’s just within their reach. Finding out the why connected some of the puzzle pieces. But the _how_ … A _detailed how…_ Raven can’t get it out of her head that it’s important.

She’s going to have to, though. For the sake of her child. As long as he grows up inside Eden’s walls, he’ll be safe. And she needs to ensure that she and Murphy are the ones to raise him. No one knows better than them how important it is to have parents that care—Murphy, because he had them and lost them, and her because she’s always wanted them.

But…

_It was supposed to kill them. Not change them._

Teddy’s word continue to swirl in her mind, like subatomic particles inside a nucleus.

Bellamy and Clarke make a stop to get Madi. She had stayed with Abby and Kane while they met with Teddy. Raven and Murphy continued on their way home, releasing tired sighs as soon as they opened their front door and took off their coats.

Raven glances at Murphy, and notices the rigid line of his jaw. His eyes are dark, unreadable. When she lays a hand on his bicep, he tenses like a rubber band about to snap.

“Hey,” she says, softly. “You OK?”

He shrugs her off, albeit gently, and heads to their bedroom without replying.

She frowns as she follows him. “Murphy!”

He’s sitting on their bed when she enters the room, pulling off his boots with force. They thud against the floor as they fall. The bed dips slightly when she sits beside him. “I know that didn’t go as planned,” she says.

Murphy snorts. “Like I care about the stupid aliens at this point.”

It dawns on her then. “The dad thing,” she says softly.

“I basically told him I wasn’t ready. How fucking stupid am I.”

“You weren’t stupid. You were honest.” She trails a finger along his tense jaw. “No one is ever really ready to be parents—forget what Teddy says.”

He jerks away from her. “Whatever. We all know I’m gonna screw up our kid one way or another.”

Raven can’t help it. She rolls her eyes. Thankfully, he’s not looking at her. No use in adding fuel to his self-loathing fire. “Our parents screwed us up and we turned out relatively fine,” she says, hoping to draw a smile out of him.

“Relatively fine? Raven,” he turns to look at her, his face stony. “How many people have we killed?”

She raises an eyebrow. “Do you want to play that game? I’m pretty sure I’ve got you beat.”

He shakes his head, and she sighs, crawling onto the bed. She holds a hand under her belly for support—moving around is only getting more awkward as the weeks progress. She positions herself behind him, and lifts the hem of his sweater over his head.

“Why are you undressing me?” he asks once she’s taken his undershirt off as well.

She presses a kiss to his bare shoulder. “I need a reason?” Her chin is resting on his shoulder as she waits for him to reply, and when he doesn’t, she nips at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. “Let me help.”

“Raven—”

“All you’ve done these past 24 hours is take care of me, and I haven’t made that very easy,” she says.

“You never do.”

She lets a small smile form on her lips. “No, I don’t. But… for once, let me take care of you.” Raven lays her hands on his shoulder, pressing down with her thumb on pressure points on his back. He’s tense. His muscles feel like rope under her fingers.

He lets out a soft moan when she traces a line to his shoulders, keeping the pressure in her hands. It’s a deep, guttural sound, and she would be lying if it didn’t go straight to her core.

Raven works her way down his back, using her thumb to knead out those stubborn knots in his upper back. All those day pounding away at iron have done a number on his back, and the missions and keeping watch over Fido probably haven’t helped.

“I was expecting some commentary about my technique by this point,” she quips.

Murphy cranes his head to look at her. “In terms of massage, I’d give this a B minus,” he says. “But if we’re talking distraction methods, I’d guess you could say this is one way to shut me up—keep me from wallowing in self-pity.”

She laughs. “But we’re really good at wallowing,” she says, scooting back on the bed. “Scoot back.”

Murphy complies, crawling up the bed after her and shooting her a curious look over his shoulder. She settles against their headboard and Murphy sits in between her knees, with his back to her.

“Lay back,” she orders, and she helps position him so that his ear is beside belly.

Raven sees the exact moment Murphy understands why she’s having him do this. Out of the two of them, she’d say he’s the most emotionally expressive, so she’s not surprised when she spots moisture in his eyes. It’s been a long day, and he needed this.

“That’s your son,” she whispers after a beat. “ _Our son._ He’s breathing, and growing, and kicking… And it’s okay if we mess up some things. He’s not going to remember them anyways when he grows up.”

Murphy laughs, lifting himself off her and scooting to his side of the bed. “Having a baby…How hard can it be?”

Raven hums. “Famous last words,” she says with a wink, and leans up to kiss him. She intended it to be short and sweet, but all thoughts flee her brain when Murphy deepens it. His tongue enters her mouth and she raises a hand to cup his chin.

She’ll likely never grow tired of kissing this man. He sucks on her bottom lip, nipping it with his teeth and she melts against him.

Melts…

Her eyes fly open, and Murphy releases her mouth to suck at her favorite spots in her neck. Her breathing gets heavier, and his hand travels down to play with the hem of her sweater. He snakes his hand underneath the fabric, his fingers cold against her seemingly scalding skin.

Scalding…

Her brain is working overtime, it feels, to play connect-the-dots. And then… It hits her.

“Red fever,” she murmurs, and pushes Murphy away.

“Everything okay?” he asks. He’s confused, but concerned something is wrong.

“Red fever,” she repeats, this time directly to him.

“You’re thinking of infectious diseases right now?”

She brings her hands up to her face. “I can’t believe I didn’t—” She trails off and shakes her head. “Murphy, the others…”

“No, no no,” he leans against the headboard. “We promised we’d drop it.”

She sighs because he’s right. They did. But everything is just starting to make sense. “Murphy, they created red fever. That’s what killed the military and turned of them into the others.”

“But that would mean that—”

Raven nods. “Eleanor’s mom didn’t just contract red fever. She was injected with it. Jesus, Murphy…. They murdered her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving you guys hanging for over two weeks! Hope this chapter was worth the wait.


	25. Unmasked

They decide to keep their revelation a secret.

It’s not an easy decision. There’s a part of Raven that wants to tell their friends everything—help them connect the dots in their own minds instead of leaving them in a suspended stage of confusion and reluctant acceptance that they will never get the answers they seek.

There are two people she wishes she could tell specifically: Eleanor, because she deserves to know what really happened to her mom, and Jordan. If her hypothesis is correct, Abby saved him from the change. Somehow, when he was scratched, he contracted the fever virus, and the black goo that spewed out of his wound was a combination of his original blood and the altered version that runs inside the others.

Of course, that was just a theory. The test tubes containing the black fluid are long gone, and so are the vials of Fido’s blood. They had to be destroyed before Russell got here. There could be no traces left behind for Russell to find.

In the end, his arrival took a lot longer than expected. After four days without being able to release the fishing ship from the ice—a feat the snowy weather definitely did not facilitate—a rescue mission was deployed to get Russell and the other fishermen back home.

Murphy was sent on that mission. It took them three days to get back. Those 72 hours felt like a lifetime—only when Murphy was safely back home did it feel like she could breathe again.

She didn’t trust Teddy would keep his word. But he apparently did. Russell didn’t approach them once. Still, Raven can’t shake the gnawing feeling that the situation is far from being resolved.

The weeks pass by quietly. She and Murphy continue to prepare for Jamie’s arrival, stocking up the nursery with essentials. Miller even builds them a changing table made out of dark wood. It’s a kind gesture from someone they haven’t spoken with much since they were teens.

Jones also decides that she is too pregnant to work for a full day, much to her annoyance. Yes, she may be more tired than usual, and yes, her baby is starting to press uncomfortably into her bladder, but she’s still capable of working eight hours. He’s reduced her to a half-day of work. While not ideal, it could’ve been worse. He wanted her to take her maternity leave early – which Raven was surprised to find out she got a whopping year of time off work.

 _The first year is the most critical for a child’s development,_ she was told.

While that may be true, Raven can’t imagine not working for a whole year. But that was a problem for six months from now or so.

Half-days, however, were good for one thing: doctor’s appointments.

“Week 34,” Abby announces as she walks into the exam room. “How are you feeling?”

Murphy scratches at his jaw. He’d washed his face in efforts to clean up for the appointment, but a wave smudge of soot remains by his ear. And since he was technically on lunch break, she doesn’t fault him for what tumbles out of his mouth. “I’m a bit famished, to be honest,” he says.

Abby rolls her eyes, a small grin on her lips. “I’m sorry. I should have specified. _Raven,_ how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Raven says automatically. “But oddly productive? I have short bursts of energy throughout the day and then extreme fatigue.”

“Her feet have been bothering her too,” Murphy pipes in.

Abby nods. “I can imagine. Swelling is very common at this point in the pregnancy.” She smiles at Raven. “But hey, home stretch. You’re almost there.”

Yes she was. The last six weeks flew by in the blink of an eye. That’s what happens when they find themselves in relative peace. The days waste away, one after the other.

Russell never asked any questions about the night people complained of a smell around Eden. Fido’s body was discovered just outside the gates, and that was that— Just another other dead in the forest by red fever.

It did scare some, especially the older folks. They still saw red fever as something that you could randomly contact. Of course, Raven and Murphy knew the truth. Red fever was a biological weapon, and Eleanor’s mom must have known something she wasn’t supposed to. Why else would they have murdered her?

It grates Raven that Russell speaks of peace and amity when murder and suppression are going on behind closed doors. But, all things considered, in the gates is still safer than out of them.

Abby’s cold gloved hands snap her out of her thoughts, and Raven realizes she’s tugged up her undershirt below her breasts to inspect her belly. Abby traces the faint green and yellow bruises high up below her ribs and above her belly button. “He’s running out of room in there,” she says.

“Sometimes he kicks so hard, I feel like he’s going to break one of my ribs,” Raven says.

“It may not feel like it, but an active baby is a good thing. That means he’s happy and healthy. Though, your belly hasn’t dropped like I hoped it would by now.” Abby chews on the inside of her cheek. “Doesn’t matter, we still got six weeks and some babies don’t get into position until you begin labor.”

“He’s stubborn like his dad,” Raven says, looking over her shoulder at Murphy.

“ _I’m_ the stubborn one?” he replies with a snort.  

Abby glances between them, amused, before she grabs her chart and takes a seat on the stool by the exam table. “I’m not going to comment on who is the most stubborn,” she says. “Now, there are a couple of things we need to consider. We still have six weeks, like I said, but you two need to start thinking about the birth.”

Murphy rises to stand beside the exam table. “Kind of hard not to think about it,” he says.

“I mean specifics. Where do you want to give birth, who do you want there, and even if you’re planning on taking medication.”

“That’s easy,” Raven says, and starts ticking the questions off with her fingers. “Hospital, Murphy and Emori, and hell to the yes. If anesthesia is an option, of course I’m taking it.”

“Great,” Abby says, taking notes. “As for after, Murphy were you approved to take time off work?”

He nods. “I got a month off blacksmithing,” he says. “As for missions…” He shrugs. “That’s up to Russell.”

Raven frowns, not because this is the first time hearing this, but because she knows deep in her gut that Russell is going to call Murphy on some mission or another during that month.

After the appointment, she and Murphy part ways at the base of the hospital tree. He kisses her, hard, and tells her he loves her. She’ll never grow tired of hearing that.

Before going home, she makes a pit stop at the market, picking up a few essentials that are needed back at the house. She grabs a few breadfruits too. They’re not in season, making them a bit more expensive, but she’s craving them.

Later, she’s dicing them up for a savory lunch when she hears three sharp knocks at the door. She furrows her brow, because she’s not expecting anyone. Everyone that could be performing an impromptu visit is at work.

Unless…

She wipes her hands on a hand towel and makes her way to the front door of their unit. She’s fully expecting to see Jordan on the other side of the door, and her smile withers away instantly when she sees who’s there.

“Russell,” she greets curtly. “What a…surprise.”

He smiles, one corner of his mouth lifting higher than the other. “I was in the neighborhood,” he says. “Wanted to just… pop in and see how you guys were doing.”

His unexpected presence is unnerving. “We’re doing great,” she says. “Murphy’s at work, though, so if you wanted to talk to him...”

“I see him all the time,” Russell dismisses. “Can I come in?”

She really. Really. Really doesn’t want to let him in. “Well, now’s not really a good time. It’s just, I was about to eat—”

“Oh don’t worry about me. I already ate,” he smiles. “Plus, I brought a gift.” He holds up a small basket and Raven sighs.

She opens the door and lets him in. “Can I get you anything?” She may as well be polite.

Russell shakes his head as he takes a seat at their kitchen table. Raven goes back to preparing her lunch, because she’s starving and even Russell can’t extinguish her appetite.

“My,” Russell breathes. “You look positively radiant. Pregnancy becomes you.”

Raven forces herself to smile, even though deep down she’s nervous and a little bit creeped out. “Thank you.” As inconspicuously as possible, she slides the knife she used to cut the breadfruit into her brace.

After she’s put the breadfruit in the oven, she braces herself on her kitchen island. “So, are you going to tell me what brings you here?”

Russell hums. “Always to the point. I appreciate that.”  He holds up a finger. “But first, let me show you what I brought.”

Jamie delivers a swift kick to her mid-section, and she closes her eyes, breathing through it. When she opens them, she sees that Russell is taking out baby items from the basket—bottles, bibs, cloth diapers…

“Think of this as a belated housewarming present,” he says.

Raven doesn’t know why, but she’s still feeling apprehensive. Something wasn’t quite right.

“I’ve never been blessed with a fruitful wife,” he says. “But I imagine these will come in handy.”

She doesn’t say anything. There’s a loud voice in her head that’s telling her to call someone—to alert them that she’s alone with Russell in her home and something is wrong. Her data pad is on the couch. All she would need to do is come up with an excuse to retrieve it.

“No thank you?” Russell says, and she tears her eyes away from the couch to look up at him. At her prolonged silence, he sighs. “Well, I guess you’ll be a little bit more interested in the last item.”

She can’t see what he picks up from the basket. He hides it in his palm as he strides over to face her across the kitchen island. He opens his palm between them, and the small object clatters onto the wooden surface.

Raven feels her bones chill when she sees what it is.

It’s a tooth. An other’s tooth.

“Now, I’ll give you one guess as to where I found that,” he says.

Raven steels herself and locks eyes with him. “I don’t understand why you’re showing me this.”

“Don’t play dumb, Raven. It’s not a good look on you.”

“I know what it is,” she says, carefully. “But like I said, I don’t know why you brought it.”

“I think you do.” His eyes never leave hers, and the eye-contact is becoming overwhelming. But if she looks away, it’s game over. “But in case you need a reminder, I’ll tell you where I found it. You see, there’s this maintenance shed near the hospital that got damaged a few floods ago.”

She feels her heart race in her chest as he continues. “It’s small building, dilapidated really. We should have torn it down ages ago.”

“Again, Russell,” Raven says. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this.”

His hand slams onto the island, and Raven recoils at the violent gesture. She leans back, her hands gripping the back counter. She’s never been one to be afraid of violent men. She knows how to defend herself. But she’s also over seven months pregnant.

When Russell speaks again, his voice is low, almost a growl. “I’ll give you another hint. _Fido_.”

He knows. When he showed her the tooth, she thought he could have found it after he came back. But maybe… Maybe he’d known all along. Maybe he injected Fido with red fever as warning, to stop them in their pursuit of the truth.

Raven takes a few calming breaths. She needs to take control of the situation.

“I think you need to leave, Russell,” she says.

He looks at her, half-smirk painted on his face. “Sure, I’m sure you have list of things to get done before your little bundle of joy arrives,” he says, and lets his eyes wander down her body. “I’ll say this—barefoot and pregnant suits you, Raven.”

“Fuck you,” she spits out.

Russell merely chuckles. “You know, the little one can already hear you.” Raven doesn’t move as she watches him waltz toward the door. He opens it, but stops momentarily in the doorway. “One last thing,” he says. His eyes rove over her. “I’d be careful, if I were you, around injections for some time. Doctors can get syringes confused quite easily.”

 

* * *

 

She spends the rest of the afternoon doing the math in her head, and this is what she decides has to be the truth.

Russell was gone the night of the Fido incident. He obviously knew about their experiments beforehand. If he had been watching them from the start, it wouldn’t have been difficult to find a time where no one was watching Fido—sometimes 10 or 15 minutes passed as they switched shifts. He had to have created a plan.

He had to have been the one to inject Fido with red fever. The few articles on the Eden library mention that red fever could take anywhere from 36 hours to a week for symptoms to appear on a person. As for the rapid deterioration of Fido’s body, Russell must have injected him with multiple doses.

It’s the only explanation that makes sense to her.

And his threat warning her of getting anything injected into her body… She’s pushed that to a dark corner of her mind.

Raven hears the front door click open, and her body relaxes when she sees Murphy. He lets out a sigh as he takes off his coat, already babbling about something or the other that happened at work. He stops abruptly when he sees her sitting at the kitchen table.

“Russell was here,” she says, point-bank.

“What?” Murphy’s entire demeanor changes. His eyes roam over the basket of baby items, and sees her holding up the other’s tooth. He curses under his breath. “Give me that,” he says, and she drops it into his palm. “What happened?”

Raven looks up at Murphy, her brown eyes meeting his blue. “He knows.”

Murphy closes his eyes, cursing again, and she tells him everything she has figured out. Murphy drops the basket and comes to kneel at her side.

“He’s known all along,” she says after she’s finished.

 “Did he do something to you?” Murphy asks. “Did he touch you? I swear if he laid a finger on you—”

She shakes her head, and swallows hard. “I don’t think we can stay here.”

“We can’t leave,” Murphy says. “We shouldn’t have to. This is our home.”

“John, I don’t feel safe here anymore.”

This, she can see, gives him pause. She wishes she knew what he was thinking. He leans forward as he kneels, bracing his forehead against her belly. They stay like that for a long time, and she runs her fingers through his hair.

“Raven, you’re not going to feel any safer out there,” he says at last. “If it was just you and me, I’d fuck it all to hell and take off running with you.” He looks up at her and takes her hands. “Tell me what I can do to make you feel safe. Do you want me to kill him?”

He’s serious. If she asked, she knows he’d do it. And in a messed up way, she loves him for it.

“No,” she whispers. “But if we’re staying, I don’t think we can keep this to ourselves anymore.”

“You want to tell the others?”

“I think we have to.”

 

* * *

 

Bellamy is pissed. Raven has never seen him so angry.

“How could you guys keep something like that to yourselves?” he bellows from his spot in the living room, and Raven cringes. “You put yourselves in unnecessary danger. We could have helped. We could have been there.”

Raven opens her mouth to say something, but Bellamy picks up a second wind as he paces around the room. “I mean, seriously, six weeks?! And you say absolutely nothing? Pretend like everything is fine?” He shakes his head. “I can’t believe you guys would do that to us.”

“It wasn’t personal, ok?” Murphy chimes in, leaning forward on the couch. “We promised Teddy we would let everything go, and that’s what we did.”

“That is _not_ what you did,” Clarke says. “What you did was shut us out.”

“We thought we were doing the right thing for everyone,” Raven says, and she looks at Eleanor. Since she heard her mom was murdered, she hasn’t said anything. Eleanor just continues to look at her lap.

“You did the right thing for no one,” Octavia says from the armchair, her legs draped over the side.

“I don’t think that’s fair,” Jordan says, and he touches Eleanor’s shoulder. They’re sitting on two dining room chairs stationed by the couch. Raven can see unshed tears glistening in Eleanor’s eyes. “They had a tough call to make. And if Teddy promised you guys he wouldn’t say anything, then I don’t see why Raven and Murphy should have felt compelled to bring it back up again.”

Jordan sighs, and turns his gaze to Raven. “You know, I am glad you told us though. I’ve been wondering about what happened to me… and knowing the truth gives me peace. Sort of. I’m still a little freaked out that I almost became one of those things.”

“But you didn’t,” Raven says and he replies with a tight-lipped sad smile.

Clarke turns to Eleanor. “Are you okay?” she asks.

Eleanor exhales sharply, shaking her head. “Nothing makes sense anymore,” she says. “Why kill my mom? She grew up with Russell and Teddy—Like shit, Russell’s my godfather.” Her devastated expression tears Raven’s heart in two. Long gone is the young woman with the carefree smile that first showed them around Eden… and the change feels like their fault.

“She must’ve found out something she wasn’t supposed to,” Murphy says. “As they say—Two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead.”

A tear slides down Eleanor’s cheek, and she wipes it away, harshly. “I don’t think Teddy is capable of doing something like that,” she says. “My mom was there for him and his wife when they lost their baby…”

Raven sighs, laying a hand over her belly. “I don’t think Teddy is capable of that either,” she says. “He had a gun that night—if he wanted to get rid of me, he could’ve tried.” She thinks back to the threat Russell left her with, the one she still hasn’t told anyone. She won’t tell anyone. “But Russell…” She looks at her friends. “Russell is definitely capable.”

Eleanor swallows, tears silently streaming down her face and dribbling off her chin. Even wrecked, she’s still beautiful, Raven notes. “Russell visited my mom almost every day when she was sick. If he did it, then she had no idea. He was at her bedside when she died,” she says that last bit through her teeth. “If he really did kill her,” Eleanor’s blue eyes look around at all of them, “then I want him dead.”

Octavia cranes her neck to look at the blonde, her eyes suddenly laced with newfound interest. “What do you know? Corruption can reach even the purest of souls.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The trailer was everything. Not a lot of Murven, (meaning barely at all lol) but I don't lose hope because of that. They can't give everything away in the trailer ;) 
> 
> Come chat with me via Tumblr if you want to talk theories! My url is Jarleene :)


	26. First there were two

Murphy installs an additional lock and a chain guard to their front door. He welded the chain himself, since the market didn’t sell them. The shopkeeper didn’t even know what Murphy was talking about when they asked if they had any in stock.

And why would he know? Eden was “safe.” The shopkeeper had given Murphy an odd look at first when he brought the lock to the counter, but after he spotted Raven emerging from an aisle—hands full of baby-proofing items and _very, very_ pregnant—the shopkeeper simply smiled. He joked that it would take a couple of years until their baby was tall enough to open their front door by himself.

Raven had gone along with the jest, placing a hand on her belly and hoping she sounded exactly like what an overprotective mother would. There was no need for the shopkeeper to know that the lock was purchased to keep people out, and not in.

During the next three weeks, she ran into Russell once. It was mid-afternoon, and she was walking back home from the mess hall with Jordan after having lunch with him. Russell greeted them both casually, placing both hands on her stomach without permission and remarking about how close she must be to labor. Jordan told him to back off, but it wasn’t very effective. Russell took his sweet time retrieving his hands, and smiled at Jordan before walking off.

It’s an invasive touch Raven then spent an hour in the bath trying to erase. When she told Murphy what happened later that evening, he was _livid._

“That’s it,” he’d said, his fork clattering on the dining room table as he dropped it. “I’m gonna kill him. I’m going to slit his throat and watch him choke on his own blood.”

“Stop. Sit back down and finish eating. I’m fine.”

“No, Raven. He thought it was okay to touch you—that he had a _right_. You expect me to just let that slide?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I expect you to not behave like a caveman and think rationally. Or would you rather I end up having to bring your son to prison so that he can see his father?”

Raven had won the argument that night, though that didn’t stop him from saying something to Russell the next time he saw him. It had been early in the morning the following day, while Murphy was walking her to work.

“Touch her again and I’ll end you,” Murphy had said, his voice low and threatening.

Again, Russell smiled. “Careful soldier. When King David wanted Bathseba, he sent her husband to the front lines.”

Murphy spent that entire night reading and analyzing the passage in the Bible on his data pad. There’s only so much Raven can do to suppress the rage that consumes him.

“He’s doing this as a distraction,” she told him. “He’s trying to get a rise out of you.”

“Well it’s _working.”_

With Murphy acting as a literal ticking time bomb, her friends scrambling to put non-existent puzzle pieces together to figure how the hell Russell knew about Fido and what that entailed, and her third trimester symptoms kicking her ass, Raven is exhausted.

She can’t sleep. Her heartburn has come back with a vengeance. She’s throwing up food again.

The only pregnancy side-effect she continues to enjoy is her libido. She wants Murphy _all_ the time. The angrier he is, the more turned on she gets. Raven tries not to think about what that means for her kinks.

And the sex does help with sleep, sometimes. She usually can expect an hour or two of dozing before she wakes up, uncomfortable in bed, and unable to find a sleeping position that doesn’t immediately make her feel like her skin is on fire or pulls at her already-sore joints.

Tonight is one of those nights. She was able to get a few hours of rest before she woke up with the unbearable urge to pee. She had tugged on her underwear and white cotton nightgown—yes she was wearing nightgowns, sue her, they were more comfortable than anything else—and hurried off to the bathroom.

Knowing she’s going to have trouble falling back asleep, Raven decides to walk a bit around their unit to stretch her legs. She pads out of their room quietly, closing the door behind her softly so as not to wake Murphy, whose rise and fall of his chest indicate his deep sleep.

The wooden floors are cold under her bare feet, but they feel nice. She wanders over to the door that leads out to their balcony, a large space they have not yet been able to utilize since moving in. It’s covered in piles of snow, and through the window, Raven can see the fluttering of snowflakes coming from the sky. While beautiful, she can’t wait until it all melt away.

It feels like ages since she’s felt the warm suns on her skin. They’re supposed to be on the tail-end of winter, yet it doesn’t seem like the snow is letting up anytime soon. Then again, all the seasons they’ve experienced have been jarring in their starts and ends.

Raven could very well wake up later this morning to the two suns and melting snow.

She’s torn out of her thoughts as her abdomen tightens up uncomfortably. She takes a deep breath, waiting for the practice contraction to pass. A low hiss escapes her lips—this one kind of hurt. She knows to expect them as she nears full-term, but still. They suck.

“You okay?”

Raven turns to see Murphy leaning up against the doorframe to their bedroom. She doesn’t know how long he’s been there, but he’s watching her like it’s been at least a minute.

“I’m fine,” she says with a soft smile. Her eyes trail down his exposed chest, down the trail of dark hair that disappears under the waistband of his sweatpants. “I’m surprised to see you awake. You were out like a log just a few minutes ago.”

“Am I that much of a deep sleeper that you think I can sleep without you?” he asks while sauntering over to her.

She smirks. “Cute. But yes. Absolutely.”

Even in the darkness of the room, illuminated only by moonlight, she can see him roll his eyes. “Ye of little faith,” he says, perching himself on the edge of the windowsill. He reaches for her, and she walks forward until she’s settled between his legs. Murphy cradles her belly and Raven closes her eyes.

“In my defense, there was that one time in our tent,” she says.

He clearly knows where she’s going with this because he laughs, loudly. “First of all, it was _my_ tent—you just were always over because you couldn’t get enough of me.”

“We were trying to make a baby!”

“Second of all,” he says, biting at her chin playfully. “It was _one_ time and I was very tired.”

She scoffs with a wide smile in place, her eyes glancing sideways. “I literally sucked you off and you never woke up. You came and everything.”

“You violated me in my sleep,” he mourns dramatically and she pushes his face away.

“I was trying to be sexy,” she says.

“Well I thought it was very sexy to wake up to you all worked up.”

Raven laughs. “I was pissed.”

“Even better,” Murphy says with a grin. He draws her in for a kiss, tugging at her bottom lip with his teeth. She sighs into his mouth, and he takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss. After a while, he pulls away and gestures to their bedroom with his head. She steps back, and follows him back to bed.

Morning arrives sooner than she’d like it to.

Her fatigue feels like a film on her mind and body preventing her from being her full self. It feels like she’s underwater, almost. Her head is swimming with foggy thoughts and her limbs feel like they could fall off her body at any second. She feels like death.

Murphy notices during breakfast. Over his cup of coffee he says, “You can probably stay home today if you want. Jones isn’t going to have a problem with it.”

“I can’t miss work,” she insists, though the idea is tempting. “We’re finalizing update plans for the harvest machinery, and I know some idiot is going to detail something wrong if I’m not there to catch it.”

“You know, the world can function for one day without Raven Reyes,” he quips.

She pops a berry into her mouth. “Yeah, I’m not convinced.”

He walks her to work after breakfast, and she’s frustrated that the haziness has yet to go away. She’s also had it with snow—even with a couple layers on, she feels frozen solid. It’s obvious Murphy wanted her to stay home today, but he didn’t push the issue, for which she is half-glad and half-disappointed. She probably could have used a day of rest, but at the same time, she’s Raven Reyes. She can manage to go to work for four measly hours.

Jamie has been especially active this morning too, and she swears a part of her dies every time she feels him kick. It’s getting tight for him in there. Her foul mood is only worsened by her Braxton Hicks, and the sporadic practice contractions are distracting her from work.

“Raven, did you catch that?”

Speaking of being distracted at work… She looks up at Jones, who’s sitting at the helm of a long conference table. He points to a single wheel in the grain wagon hologram at the center of the table.

“Yes,” she lies. “Like I said weeks ago, adding another wheel to the discharge door should help with making sure the adequate number of seeds is distributed evenly.”

Jones furrows his brow, and a few of her male counterparts exchange amused glances. Great, she obviously got something wrong.

“I was asking about the chute below the wheel,” Jones said. “The wheel issue has been resolved.”

Swallowing her pride, Raven flashes an easy-going smile. “Sorry boss, pregnancy brain and all,” she says, and her co-workers chuckle good-naturedly.

Jones pulls her aside after the meeting is adjourned. He places his hand by her elbow gently, and behind his glasses, his eyes show genuine concern. “Are you feeling ok? I’ve never seen you out of it like today.”

She sighs, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’m fine, just tired,” she says.

“Do you want to go home?”

She only has a couple more hours before she’s done for the day. It seems weak of her to accept his offer. “I can work,” she insists. “I still have a ton of machinery prototypes I want to run by you.”

Her stomach contracts again, and she hisses, her eyes screwing tight as a flash of pain hits her pelvis. She breathes in slowly. “Practice contraction,” she manages to get out. “It’ll go away in a sec.”

Jones doesn’t look convinced. “C’mon, I’m walking you home.” Raven opens her mouth to protest, but he silences her by raising his palm. “You can fool all the other guys in there, but you forget this isn’t my first rodeo.” He looks pointedly at her mid-section.

“I’m not having this baby right now, Jones,” she says, suppressing an eye-roll. “I still have three weeks until my due date.”

He picks up her coat from the back of her chair and hands it to her. “Babies aren’t formulaic,” he says. “A due date means nothing.”

Begrudgingly, she layers up before following him back out onto the cold. They fall into a comfortable silence, and Raven focuses on her footsteps in the crisp, white snow. They’re almost at her unit when she feels another practice contraction, this one not as painful, but it still makes her stop in her tracks.

Jones examines her for a minute, and it takes a few seconds until she’s able to meet his eyes. When she does, his gaze is serious. “How many of these ‘practice contractions’ have you had this morning?”

“I don’t know… a few?”

He lets out a long sigh. “We’re going to the hospital.”

Ok that was a bit much. “What, you think I’m in labor or something?” she says, incredulously. At his lack of a response, she scoffs. “Seriously? My water hasn’t even broken.” Honestly, his whole demeanor is starting to freak her out. She can’t be going into labor… could she? Her due date is still almost three weeks away.

Jones starts leading her by the elbow in the direction of the hospital, and she lets him guide her. Raven’s thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at once—she needs Murphy, oh god she may be actually having this baby now, he’s early what if something’s wrong, fuck her back hurts and she kind of has to pee.

It’s a lot, and it only feels more real when she sees the red wooden cross hanging in front of the hospital tree. Jones tells her to relax on the way up the lift, and she’s glad he’s here. It’s almost like if Sinclaire was in there with her too—the person she considers to have been the closest thing to a father she’s ever had.

“Breathe,” Jones reminds her as they reach the main lobby.

Luck seems to be on her side because Jackson just happens to be walking through when they get there. He approaches them immediately, probably due to the look on Raven’s face.

“Jackson, I think he’s coming,” she tells him.

 

* * *

 

From there, the next hour is a whirlwind. She is whisked off to a private room, given a robe to put on and examined by Abby, who is taking this a lot more in stride than Raven is.

Because she is freaking out. Even after Abby reassures her that everything is fine, that this is completely normal, and that she is going to deliver a healthy baby soon, Raven can’t help but feel like this is not OK.

“You said you called Murphy, right?” She asks Abby, for what feels like the tenth time that hour.

“Yes, Raven. He was notified.” She sits down on a stool. “He’ll be here soon, don’t worry. Besides, we still have plenty of time. You’re not even two centimeters dilated.”

She throws her head back on the pillow. “That’s what you said when I got here.”

Abby shoots her a sympathetic look. “You’re still in the beginning stage of labor,” she explains. “This is going to take the longest—”

“How long?” Raven interrupts.

Abby sucks in a deep breath. “Hard to say—every woman is different.” At this, Raven raises her eyebrows expectantly. She just wants Abby to lay it on her. “…Could be a few hours,” she says at last. “2, 10, 20…” she mumbles.

Raven balks. “I’m sorry, did you say 20 hours?!”

“I’m sure it’s not going to go that long,” Abby says, placating her. “Typically, women spend most of this stage at home and wait until their water breaks. Now don’t give me that look,” she adds, seeing the sour expression on Raven’s face. “I think it’s a good thing that Jones brought you here because I do have two concerns.”

Raven stomach tightens in a knot.

“The first,” Abby says, “is that your baby isn’t in position yet—nothing too alarming, he has turned since I last saw you, but he’s still not quite headfirst yet. We’ll have to play around with some birthing positions in the hopes he’ll be ready when it’s time to push.”

Raven nods, trying to ignore the ringing in her ears caused by the thought that shit, she’s gonna actually have to push this baby out very soon. “Okay, I can do that,” she says, swallowing. “What’s your other concern?”

A crease appears between Abby’s eyebrows. “It’s about your nerve damage,” she says softly.

Raven is confused. She hasn’t really given much thought to her leg and spine for the majority of her pregnancy, aside from the day to day logistics. “My leg?” she asks, her voice unsure.

“I just want to monitor you a little closer, that’s all. You’re going to have pain and pressure in your pelvis, and you’re likely going to feel it in your lower back. I just…” Abby takes a deep breath. “This is just a precaution.”

Raven sighs, and nods. Abby smiles kindly at her.

“C’mon,” she says to Raven, motioning for her to get up off the bed. “Let’s take a walk. It’ll help get this baby into position.”

 

* * *

 

Raven loses count of how many times she and Abby have made rounds around the hospital. People greet them as they walk by—nurses, doctors and other patients. Some give her a thumbs up and the whole thing is a little too cheery for her tastes.

Her contractions have gotten a bit closer, but not by much. While not really that painful yet, they are uncomfortable as heck. Every time one comes, it feels like someone is sitting directly on her pelvis.

They round a corner and come back onto the main lobby at the same time Murphy comes flying in, a navy duffle bag under his arm. Ice clings to his hair, and he’s… surprisingly calm.

“Nice of you to finally show up,” she says after he meets them halfway. “It’s not like I’ve been here for almost two hours now.”

He frowns at her surly tone, hiking the duffle bag higher on his shoulder. “Yeah, I know. I showed up earlier and they told me to go home,” he says.

“I’m sorry, what?” Raven looks at Abby, who shrugs as if to say, I didn’t know he had been here.

Murphy sidles closer, brushing her hair back before placing a hand on her abdomen. He looks at Abby. “He’s early, is that okay?”

“Perfectly normal,” Abby reassures and Murphy exhales in relief.

Turning back to Raven, who is waiting expectantly for an explanation, he gives her a quick kiss to her temple. “Jackson told me to go home, shower because I was filthy, and pack a bag with everything you’ll need, and things for Jamie when he gets here.”

“He’s taking forever,” Raven pouts, and Murphy shrugs. “At least you’re taking all of this in stride,” she says.

“Well, I’m not the one that has to push out a tiny human from my crotch.”

Raven laughs while Abby simultaneously shakes her head.

“Now that you’re here,” Abby says, “you can take over for me. Do a few more laps around the building and then head back to your room.” She extends her hand and Murphy slides the duffle bag off his shoulder to give to her. “I’ll see you both in a little bit.”

After she’s out of earshot, Murphy asks her, “So why exactly does Abby have you walking a marathon right now?”

“He’s not in the right position yet,” she explains. “This is supposed to help.”

“Is it?”

She sighs. “I don’t know.” He scrunches his eyebrows together at her response, and she amends, “I mean, I’m not in pain or anything. I’m just uncomfortable, more than anything.”

They walk a little further, and Murphy tries to distract her by doing the one thing he does best—talk a lot of shit. He’s in the middle of telling her some story about how Octavia blew a gasket after one of their co-workers accidentally melted a piece of some ironwork she was doing, mistaking it for scraps… Or something like that, Raven isn’t really paying attention.

She feels a stronger contraction come on, only this time it’s followed by a whisper of a popping sensation. A warm trickle of liquid slides down her leg and Raven knows exactly what just happened. Relief washes over her. Thank the lord. Maybe this means Jamie will finally get a move on. All this waiting and anticipation is killing her.

Murphy is still talking and walking, looking at her over his shoulder, since she’s stopped in her tracks. “You good?”

“Yes. And hey babe, I love you,” she says. “But please shut up.”

He suppresses an eye roll. “Fine,” he responds, indignantly. “We’ll do the rest of this stroll in silence. We got what, one more lap left?”

“Nope,” she says, popping the word. “My water finally broke.”


	27. Abnegation

Murphy’s arms hold her tight as Raven balances herself on the edge of the low stool, her legs bent in a squat. Perspiration rolls down the back of her neck and disappears under the collar of the hospital robe. This positions sucks.

“Ow, ow, ow,” she complains, and Murphy helps pull her up.

Abby clicks her tongue. “Raven you gotta hold that squat for longer,” she instructs. “Come on, give me another 30 seconds. We need to let gravity do its thing.”

“I need a break,” she says, out of breath. “My quads are killing me.” 

Murphy helps her take a seat on the stool, and she doubles over, her hands on her spread knees. She takes a deep breath. “Can you check if he’s in position? I don’t think I can keep doing this.”

Abby motions for her to get up, patting the bed and Raven inwardly sighs with relief. “Let’s try something else,” she says.

She helps her up on to the bed and has her down on all fours, her weight balanced in her forearms. The position has Murphy tugging the back of her gown down as low as it can go over her ass, but it feels a lot better. Her arms are stronger than her legs.

“I’m going to go check in on another one of my patients,” Abby tells her. “When I come back, we’ll do another ultrasound and see how much you’ve dilated.

A contraction hits Raven then, and she grits her teeth, nodding in response. She hears the door click closed as Abby leaves and Raven lets out a groan.

“I hate this,” she says to Murphy.

He flops down on an armchair beside the bed. After her water broke, they transferred her to a more private room, much like the one Jordan was in for weeks after his incident. She doesn’t like it here. She’s ready to push this baby out and go home.

Home was safe, all things considered. This hospital was far too open for her comfort.

“Hate to break it to you, but it’s probably going to get worse in the next few hours,” he says.

Raven cranes her neck to look at him. “You suck at sympathizing. Where’s Emori? She’s supposed to be here too,” she says the last bit under her breath as her head hangs back down.

“She’s busy,” Murphy says. She turns her head to look at him again and he shrugs in response. “What? You thought it actually took me two hours to pack a few things for you? I’ve had a bag packed for _weeks._ ”

Raven blinks, rocking back on her heels. She outstretches her braced leg in front of her. “I’m sorry. What? Where were you then? I was _alone_.”

He leans forward, his hand grasping the railing of the bed. “I know, but…they found it.”

“Found what?”

“Russell’s dirty little secret. Shaw and Emori. They found it.”

Her eyes search his, waiting for him to elaborate. When he doesn’t she lets out an exasperated, “ _And?”_

“Sorry, I was pausing for dramatic effect,” he says with a smirk, and god. She wants to smack him. He’s so infuriating.

“Because me having a baby right now isn’t dramatic enough?” she retorts with a scoff. “Stop stalling and tell me before Abby gets back.”

Murphy stands, deftly reaching over the back of his chair to lock the door. He heads over to the counter, grabs the navy blue duffle bag, and takes out his data pad. He swipes up and the clear screen comes to life, showing a detailed terrain map. He lowers the guardrail on the side of the bed, and perches himself on the edge.

“What is that?” Raven asks, sitting back down on her heels again. She pushes back a few stray hairs behind her ears. A contraction hits her then, and she hisses. When it passes, she opens her eyes.

Murphy waits for her before continuing. “Emori built a chip a few months ago—a tracker,” he says. “Eleanor planted it on the one thing he never leaves his unit without.”

“His radio,” Raven answers. As Eden’s governor, Russell needed to be constantly communicating with different departments.

Murphy nods. “We’ve been tracking him for weeks.” He points a pulsating blue dot on the map and zooms in. “That’s him. Right now, he’s in his office. But that’s not where he was early this morning.”

Bellamy noticed that Russell deployed a mission task force the night before. None of their friends were on it, which was strange. He enlisted Eleanor in finding out who was on it, and Eleanor found no names. For such an organized society, this rang a warning bell.

But a mission was carried out. Bellamy and Clarke spied on Russell and a team of five Eden scientists get on an airship. And because they’ve been tracking Russell, they knew exactly where they were going. Bellamy and Clarke got into a rover and followed them as best they could.

Russell’s tracker led them to a cave. Russell and the others didn’t emerge until just before dawn. Bellamy and Clarke waited until they left to investigate the cave.

 “They did _what_?” Raven interrupts. “Alone? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I _am_ telling you,” he says. “I found out after I dropped you off at work, and I was planning on telling you on finding you at lunch and getting you up to speed, but…” He gestures to her vaguely. “Obviously, plans changed.”

Bellamy and Clarke marching up to god knows what in the middle of the woods, without backup or anyone else really knowing, doesn’t seem like much of a plan. But Raven isn’t surprised. She narrows her eyes. “Why isn’t Emori here?”

“She and Shaw went to scope it again out this morning. That cave,” Murphy scoffs, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. “It’s a lab.”

Raven’s gut wrenches. Flashes of Mount Weather and the sound of a drill come running into her mind. She shakes those thoughts away. “What kind of lab?”

“He has rows of dead aliens strung from the ceiling like a fucking meat department, with tubes and wires all connecting them.”

A thought strikes her then, and it triggers a deep, cold tendril of fear inside her. “Murphy,” she says. “Please tell me that Emori and Shaw aren’t _still_ there right now.”

His brows knit together. “Yes, they’re there. Along with Bellamy, Clarke, and Octavia.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Raven swears. A string of curses, each more biting than the last leave her lips in quick succession. “Why the hell are they sticking around there for? They need to leave. Russell would never leave that lab unprotected. He’s probably watching them all from his office right now.”

“They can’t leave until we figure out what the lab is for,” Murphy says, and Raven throws up her arms.

“Isn’t it obvious?” she exclaims, exasperated. “That’s where he’s generating the red fever virus.”

Just hearing about the lab made everything click in Raven’s mind. The original Eligius III scientists never meant to make red fever a constant weapon in their arsenal. They made a mistake. Instead of eliminating the army, they changed them into an even bigger, more volatile threat.

Obviously, they regretted it because red fever was virtually eliminated from Eden’s history books, so to speak. But it’s resurfaced only in the past decade.

Ever since Russell took office. Ever since the plight of infertility became critical.

An especially painful contraction hits her then, and she swears it’s closer than the others. She breathes through it. When it passes, she looks over at Murphy, who looks like he’s also starting to put the pieces together.

“That’s why he hasn’t left his office all day,” Murphy says. “He knows they’re there. He wants them there.”

Raven nods. “Give me your data pad,” she says.

He complies, and she dials Emori. The data pad rings once, twice, three times…Before Emori picks up.

“Murphy, is everything okay?”

“It’s Raven. You need to get out of there.”

“Raven?! Aren’t you in labor?”

She ignores the question. “That’s irrelevant at the moment. You all need to leave the cave. Right. Now.”

“But we haven’t—”

“Emori listen to me,” Raven says. She can hear the others murmuring in the background of the call. “You guys have walked right into Russell’s red fever factory.”

She hears a rustle as the data pad is transferred to someone else. “Yes we know,” Shaw says. “We’re gonna shut it down.”

“Wondrous idea,” Raven says, sarcasm seeping into her voice. “How are you gonna do that?”

“We’re about to unplug everything and set it on fire,” he answers.

She sighs loudly. “Right, and risk you and everything in a 10-mile radius getting infected.” She guesses those bodies are laden with the virus. By lighting the whole place up, they’ll be generating energy and releasing the virus in the air with the smoke. If it carried over to Eden, that could be disastrous. No wall can keep smoke out. “Whose plan was this?”

“Mine,” Shaw says, defensively.

“Well your plans are shitty as always.” She takes a deep breath. “Good thing I have a better one.”

 

* * *

 

Hazardous viral waste.

Those are three words Raven never thought would be occupying her mind eight hours into this grueling labor. But they are three that she has repeatedly spoken aloud in those same eight hours.

Shaw’s plan to incinerate the bodies of the others wasn’t entirely wrong—that was one way of disposing the bodies. But lighting the whole place without control would have been a mistake. Instead, she told them to leave the lab. Russell, first, needed to think they were gone and coming back in the direction of Eden.

And that helped to prove her earlier guess. As soon as their friends left the cave, the pulsating blue dot showing Russell’s location began to move from his office. He had been watching them, and had fallen into her trap.

When he was gone from his office, her friends returned to the cave. There, turned off all equipment, collected all files and put each of the bodies in separate airtight bags, sealing them tightly inside along with enough chemicals to kill the viral pathogens when it came time to incinerate.

Since they knew there were cameras, they destroyed them. Russell couldn’t see what was to come next.

With the cameras out, he would send out people to scope it out. He’d never go himself, not when he thought an ambush could be waiting for him. But it’d have to wait until dark. An impromptu nighttime mission would hardly be something out of the ordinary. A daytime one, however…

Regardless, it would prove pointless. His trusted colleagues would find nothing. The lab would look exactly the same as they’d last left it. Only, instead of the real bodies, Raven instructed Jordan to sneak into the tech lab after hours with Eleanor and 3D print realistic dupes to replace the alien bodies with.

If Raven’s new and improved plan is on track, Jordan and Eleanor should be in the midst of doing that at this very second. The rest of their friends were still outside of the gates. They drove miles away from the lab to dispose of the bodies. If the chemicals failed to fully kill virus at high temperatures, at least the chances of it spreading in the air went down considerably.

Because, while red fever wasn’t contagious like the flu is, ingesting it or having it injected into your body could infect you.

It was a race against the clock. But it was vital that everything went according to plan. If it didn’t, phase II—the most important one—would need to be aborted.

Raven grits her teeth as a contraction hits her, hissing in attempt to breathe through it. They were coming at less three minutes apart, each seemingly more painful than the last. She’s pushing eight centimeters dilated, and it’s starting to feel like it’s time to for the drugs.

“You know Abby, I think she’s ready for that epidural now,” Murphy says.

To be honest, Raven was ready four centimeters ago. But Abby wanted to delay the epidural a little longer because of the amount of time it took Raven to reach four centimeters dilated. She worried that if she administered the epidural too soon, it would slow her contractions. That, coupled with getting Jaime into the right position for birth—which finally did happen—meant Raven needed to wait a little longer to get her epidural.

Murphy brushes back the sweaty strands of her hair back, as well as supporting her for balance since she’s long taken her brace off. Raven is kneeling, with her front to the raised back of the hospital bed, her arms draped over the back as she rests.

“Yes, it’s time. We’ve waited long enough,” Abby says, and Raven feels a shudder of relief rack through her body.

She knows pain. She’s felt it more times than she can count. But this? This was a different kind of pain.

Murphy is doing his best to soothe her, but he’s godawful at it. And she can’t fault him for that. Like her, she knows his mind is half on their friends still outside the gates. Despite everything, they were their family.

Raven turns her head to watch Abby prepare the catheter and anesthesia.

“Turn on your side, and round your back,” Abby instructs.

Raven complies, and feels Abby unbuttoning the back of her robe to access her lower back. A cold wet swab of alcohol is swiped across her skin, and just as Raven is preparing for the pinprick of the anesthesia, the door to the room creaks open.

Abby halts her movements. “Russell?” she says, and Raven stiffens. “I’m sorry, but you can’t be here.” Abby tugs her robe closed, and for that, Raven is grateful.

Her back is to the door, but she can see the murderous expression in Murphy’s eyes.

“I just heard the happy news,” Russell says. “Before you all, live births were so rare, and I’ve made it a tradition to visit the lucky couple on the day of the momentous occasion.” His voice is sickly sweet. “And this couple in particular… Well, let’s just say I’ve gotten to know them very well.”

Because Abby doesn’t know anything, she smiles at Russell. “Of course,” she says. “But Raven and Murphy have made their wishes clear.” Her tone is firm, the doctor in her having taken over.

“Please, I won’t be long,” Russell insists.

Abby shoots Raven an unsure look, and Raven shakes her head in response.

“Maybe you can come visit after the baby is born,” Abby says to Russell. “I’m afraid there’s no time right now.”

“Two minutes,” he says. “Surely, you can spare that.”

Raven grimaces. “No, no we can’t.”

But it’s too late. Abby sends an apologetic look her way and steps outside. Raven shifts back on the bed, trying to maintain a neutral expression, but a contraction has her arching her back and screwing her eyes shut.

“Well, you bullied the doctor out,” she hears Murphy say. “So why don’t you say what you have to say and leave. We’re kind of in the middle of something.”

“So you are,” Russell replies in a slow drawl. “So you are…”

When Raven opens her eyes again, as her contraction is subsiding, she sees Russell regard her with a strange expression on his face.

“What?” she barks.

He leans back against the counter, his hands behind his back. “You know what’s great about life?” He asks, knowing he has their full attention. “The cycles. Birth, childhood, the horrible teenage years,” he says with a soft chuckle. “Adulthood, and then before you know it… It’s time for you to goodbye to it all. Somewhere along the way, mother nature has ingrained in us the need to procreate—to find a mate and bring more life.”

“How long is this monologue?” Murphy interjects. He moves closer to Raven, his hand gripping the rail of the bed so hard, his knuckles bleed white.

“See, that’s your problem right there, John,” Russell says, kissing his teeth. “You have no patience. No faith that whatever I’m telling you now has a purpose.”

“All I know is you’re spewing a lot of bullshit.”

Russell’s eyes narrow. “You’re going to be a father in a few hours. Are you going to talk to your child like that?”

“Our parenting doesn’t concern you,” Raven says.

“Oh but it does,” Russell says. “This child, like Charmaine’s and the others from your people that are soon to follow are a symbol of hope. And symbols of hope are critical to the morale of Eden. I will only _let_ them be raised with exemplary parents.” His gazes hones in on Raven, his eyes roving over her in a way that makes her want to cover herself with her arms. “A fertile womb doesn’t make you a mother, Raven Reyes. And there are many in Eden that would be glad to take that child off your hands.”

She rises up on the bed, fixing Russell with a deathly glare. “Over. My. Dead. Body,” she spits out.

He sighs. “That would be a waste, but could prove a necessary measure. I know you and your friends are up to something.”

This isn’t how Raven had imagined their plan falling into place, but there it was. The last missing piece for phase I—Russell had fallen into their trap.

“I’ve been here for the last 10 hours,” Raven says. “We know nothing.”

He appraises her before turning to Murphy, whose face betrays no emotion.

“I hope for the sake of you wanting to raise your child, that’s true.”

Raven lays a hand over Murphy’s, because she knows he must be biting his tongue to stay quiet. But if he breathes a word, or an insult, their plan could slowly crumble.

Russell leaves them with a little wave, his infuriating overly-pleasant grin still in place like he didn’t just tell them he’d take away their child. Only when he leaves does Murphy relax.

“God-fucking-damnit,” he says. “Please remind me why I’m not breaking his neck right now.”

“Remember the plan,” she tells him, and he nods.

Abby files in seconds later, closing the door securely behind her. “Well, that took a lot longer than two minutes.”

Murphy and Raven remain silent, and Abby goes back to prepare the epidural. It’s only then Raven realizes that the catheter and anesthesia syringe were left on the counter, in the exact same place Russell had leaned against.

_I’d be careful, if I were you, around injections for some time. Doctors can get syringes confused quite easily._

Russell’s words from his intrusion into her home reverberate in her head like a dreamlike psychosis. She feels her heart rate speed up, and the monitor beside her bed reflects it. Murphy and Abby both turn to her in concern when they hear the rapid beeping coming from the machine.

“Raven, are you okay?” Abby asks, but all she can focus on is the syringe in her hand.

She starts frantically shaking her head. “ _I don’t want it, don’t give it to me please, don’t make me take it.”_

Abby and Murphy are taken aback at her outburst.

“I thought it was what you wanted,” Abby says, confused.

Again, Raven shakes her head profusely. “I changed my mind,” she says.

“Raven, what the hell is going on?” Murphy asks. “You were going to get it like five minutes ago.”

“I don’t want that in my body! I changed my mind.”

Abby lays down the syringe on the counter and a painful contraction wracks through Raven’s body. She lets out an anguished grunt, all of the muscles in her body coiling.

This was just the beginning. But she could do this. She doesn’t need the epidural. She’s Raven Reyes.

And if Russell messed with the syringe, or switched it out… She couldn’t take that risk.

“It’s going to be a lot harder without it,” Abby tells her softly.

“Is it going to be worse than my spinal surgery?” she asks, and from the corner of her eye, she sees Murphy flinch.

Abby pauses. “Well, no but—”

“Then I can take it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to say this in the last chapter, but I officially surpassed over 200 pages in Word with this story! Sorry this one took a little longer, I probably wrote like five versions.


	28. Prelude

Thanks to the years they’ve spent together, both on the Ring and in Kainos, Raven knows Murphy has two different types of angers.

The first is the most obvious. He’s loud, obnoxiously so. His aim is to make everyone around him as miserable as possible while hurling razor sharp insults so you really get the picture that he’s upset with whatever it is that’s fueling him. It may not be directed at you, but you’ll feel it regardless.

It’s the quintessential example of his bark being worse than his bite, because it dies down just as fast as it flares up.

But the second type? The second type is cause for worry.

A quiet Murphy is never a good thing. This anger runs deep inside him, simmering like a slow boiling broth. His jaw presents a foreboding tick. His eyes are both unreadable and penetrating.

So when he grows quiet after Raven calms down over the epidural, a gnawing feeling starts in her gut. Guilt—she’s kept a secret from him, and he may not know right now what it was, but she knew he wouldn’t rest until he found out.

She’s not surprised when he asks for a few minutes alone with Raven, and Abby nods, telling them she needed to fetch Jackson anyway.

The door shuts with a soft click, and Raven, not wanting to prolong anything, turns her head to face Murphy.

He doesn’t waste any time. “What the hell, Raven.” It’s a statement, not a question, but she feels compelled to answer anyway.

“It’s better for the baby,” she says, and he scoffs.

“Bullshit.”

She watches as he runs a hand across his face, a slow groan bubbling up from his throat. She’s hit with another contraction, and her hands cling to the back of the bed as if for dear life. A gargled cry escapes her pressed lips, rapid breaths heaving her chest in and out.

“You were fine before Russell came in,” Murphy says. “Abby had it prepared.” He searches her face for an answer. “What changed?”

She should tell him. He deserves to know. “He…He warned me not to trust injections around here for a while.”

Murphy’s eyes narrow. “When?”

“When he came to our house,” she says, and he swears.

“You should’ve told me.” He folds over in the chair, his elbows balanced on his knees as his head hangs low.

“I know.” Right now, she can’t even think of why she didn’t. Probably to keep him from worrying. The last thing a volatile Murphy needed was a seed planted into his brain that someone might hurt his family.

His seething anger is still there, she can see it in the way his fists are clenched in front of him. She reaches over to touch his shoulder. Her fingertips barely brush against his shirt, but he turns to look at her.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” she says. “But I can do this. And this way, we’ll go home quickly.” She attempts a weak smile. “No anesthesia to wait out.”

He’s not convinced. “We’ll go home quickly _if_ there aren’t any complications.”

“There won’t be,” she assures.

Murphy just sighs. He looks like he wants to say something else, but can’t find the words. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows.

Then, they’re interrupted by the ringing of his data pad, and they both zero in on the object stowed away in the duffle bag. Getting a call… They shouldn’t be getting any calls. That wasn’t part of the plan.

“Answer it,” Raven urges when Murphy fails to move.

He stands up abruptly and retrieves the device from the bag. Absentmindedly, he mumbles, “It’s Eleanor,” before picking up.

As soon as the call connects, the room is flooded with a high-pitch shriek that brings forth a mixture of panic and fear within Raven.

“Eleanor?!” Murphy says, and the shrieking stops abruptly.

“Oh thank god you picked up,” she says, but her voice sounds faraway. Still, the fact she can speak is reassuring. “How do you brake on a rover? I’ve never driven and Jordan insisted on giving it a go, but now we’re—” She lets out another high-pitched squeak. “ _For goodness sake, Jordan are you trying to kill us?”_

Raven wants to teleport into that rover and smack the living daylights out of both of them.

Murphy glances over at Raven, his fist bumping into his forehead repeatedly. “There should be two pedals on the driver side floor. The wider one is your break.”

They hear a clatter, and some bickering in the background. “You may not want to slam on it,” Murphy adds, a second too late. “Sorry about that—guess my mind’s on Raven about to give _birth._ How the hell did you two geniuses not figure it out?”

“Slow your roll there, buddy,” Eleanor says. “We have the dupes. We’ll be at the lab soon. How’s Raven doing?”

“I’m having a baby, how do you think I’m doing?” Raven says from across the room. Dealing with everyone’s incompetency, as usual.

The line cracks, as if Eleanor’s data pad is being transferred to another person. “You got this, Raven,” Jordan says cheerily. She is endeared because his voice sounds so supportive, but at the same time, she’s very annoyed because there are bigger things at play here. They need to let her worry about pushing out this baby, and focus on their task.

“Thanks Jordan,” she says, though a bit drily. “Now, hang up and go. As fast as you can.” Thinking better of it, she adds, “Safely, please. Use the brake and don’t push the accelerator all the way down.”

A contraction racks her body as Murphy hangs up, this one a lot closer than the last. They couldn’t have been talking to Eleanor and Jordan for more than a minute. She struggles through it, trying to breathe like Abby told her, but goddamn it—it _hurts_.

She feels a cold hand wipe away her sweat from her forehead, and likely the stray flyaways stuck to it as well. God, she feels like throwing up.

“They’re closer together,” Raven grunts out.

Murphy’s hand trails to her back, the other coming up to rest atop hers gripping the back of the bed. “Moment of truth,” he says. “You okay?”

“That depends. If I shit myself, will you bring it up in a few weeks just to embarrass me?”

Murphy laughs, and then pretends to think about it before she socks him lightly in the shoulder, her head braced against the bed. “Of course not,” he says. “I’d shit myself too if I was pushing out a tiny screaming banshee.”

She groans. “I hate you.”

 

* * *

 

Time becomes meaningless in the home stretch.

Raven feels like she’s on fire—like every tendon, every bone and every muscle fiber has been lit by a match. Jackson and Abby help maneuver her onto her back onto a semi-reclining position when she frantically tells them she feels like she needs to push.

Somewhere along the way, Murphy was outfitted into a robe and silly hair net, but she can’t find it in herself to laugh at him. Abby instructs her to hold her knees wide apart, but with every contraction, Raven wants to do the exact opposite. She wants to arch away from the pain, as if curling into herself would help to lessen the pain.

It doesn’t. So she gathers all her willpower to do as Abby says.

Because. She. Can. Fucking. Do. This.

Raven lets out a loud cry as she stops pushing to take a breather. Her breath is coming in short pants, and vaguely, she can hear Murphy encouraging her. She’s holding his hand, has probably crushed it by now with her force, and he’s yet to utter a single complaint.

“Good, Raven, you’re doing great,” Abby tells her, and Raven wants to cry. “Give me another big push.”

She scrunches her eyes as she launches into another. Sensory overload—that’s what she’s experiencing, almost. Bet this would’ve gotten ALIE out of her head all those years ago.

She’s lost track of how long she’s been pushing—could be hours, could be just minutes. But at some point, the burning pain in her pelvis intensifies, just as Raven is ready to call it quits and ask them to cut this baby out of her.

“He’s crowning,” Abby says, excitedly. She glances up at Murphy. “Want to see?”

Raven, in between pushing now, looks over at her boyfriend. For the first time, she notices he’s looking a little paler than usual.

“I’m okay, thanks,” he tells Abby. “I’ll see him when he’s out.”

“You want a barf bag?” Raven says breathlessly, wasting no moment to poke fun at him.

He makes a face at her. God she loves him. “Just freaking push,” he says.

Easy for him to say. Now that the baby is crowning, she knows this will be the hardest part. It also means she’s minutes, or even seconds away from seeing her son, and that gives her the strength to keep going.

Raven gives it her all. She doesn’t hold anything back. She pushes with what feels like her entire body, muscles tense, jaw clenched, gritting her teeth. Then, with one last cry and a big push, at last… She feels relief.

Abby cleans the baby’s face, clearing its eyes, nose and mouth of junk, and then the room is full of the loveliest cry she’s ever heard. It sends her over the edge, and she starts sobbing. Tears of joy, of course.

Raven slumps back into the hospital bed and watches as Jackson hands Murphy a pair of surgical scissors. Abby clamps the umbilical cord and instructs him on where to cut.

If she’s a mess, words can’t describe what Murphy looks like he’s feeling. It’s a miracle he’s able to cut the umbilical cord. His hands shake when Abby places a blanket-wrapped Jaime into his arms, and it’s then she’s able to get her first glimpse at Murphy being a dad.

It’s a sight she’ll never forget.

Murphy brings Jaime over to her, and Raven marvels at her tiny pink son. “Hi baby,” she coos. Jaime is still crying, his perfect rosebud mouth rounded in a stressed ‘o,’ eyes clenched so shut she can’t tell if he’s gotten her eyes or Murphy’s.

Definitely Murphy’s nose, though. She can tell he will look just like his daddy when he grows up.

She soothes him, kissing his head, which explains why the heck she had so much acid reflux while pregnant. Jaime has a full head of dark downy hair. Murphy leans down to trace the baby’s face with his forefinger with a feather-light touch, almost like he was afraid he’ll break him.

“You took forever, squirt,” he murmurs, and Raven laughs through her tears.

“About split me in half is what he did,” she says.

Abby instructs her to lean forward, and undoes the first few buttons of her gown. Over her shoulder, she tells Jackson to go grab the cart from the supply room, and he exits the room quietly.

“We don’t really need it now,” Abby confides, “but skin to skin contact is vital now and I figured you’d be more comfortable with less people in the room.” She helps Raven tug her robe down one shoulder and below her left breast. Her hands are chilled, or maybe Raven is just overheated.

She instructs her on how to position Jamie over her breast, and after a few failed tries, his cries quiet as he latches onto her nipple. Raven isn’t lactating yet, but this will help kick-start that.

It feels…weird. But natural. And very weird. Her brain can’t even put it into words, but she attributes that to the exhaustion that is washing over her like waves hitting rock. Hunger too… She’s absolutely starving.

Everything that happens after that feels like a dream. At some point, she delivers the placenta, though if someone asked her, she couldn’t tell them when that exactly happened. All that mattered to her was the baby in her arms, and it strikes her after a while that Murphy hasn’t gotten to hold him all that long.

“Do you want to hold him for a while?” she whispers. Abby has numbed her and is currently working to repair what Raven expects is total carnage down there.

Murphy gives her a small smile and shakes his head. “Nah, you got this.” He scoots his chair closer to the bed, crossing his arms on the railing and resting his chin above his topmost forearm. “Plenty of time for me to hold him later.”

Raven smiles softly, secretly glad he turned her offer down because she can’t bear to be separated from him. And she knows as soon as Abby finishes stitching her up, they’ll have to weigh him and do all the other routine checks.

She glances down at Abby. “So…be honest,” she says. “How bad is it?”

Murphy shifts his attention to the doctor as well.

“It’s not bad,” Abby reassures. “There was some tearing, of course, but that was to be expected. These stitches should dissolve on their own in a few weeks and you should be good to go.” She gives Murphy a pointed look. “No sex for at least six weeks though.”

Murphy scoffs. “Why are you looking at me? She initiates it more than I do.”

Raven laughs, shuffling back on the bed to get more comfortable. “You heard the doctor, Murphy. We’re going on a six week dry spell. Think you can handle that?”

“I should be able to manage,” he says with an eye roll. He outstretches his hand toward Jamie, whose little fist grabs his forefinger.

Jackson returns with the cart a few minutes later. It obviously didn’t take him that long to retrieve it, so he must’ve known that Abby wanted to give Murphy and Raven more space. Raven is almost asleep by the time he comes back, and she struggles to stay awake as Abby takes Jamie from her to weigh, fingerprint and give his first bath.

Murphy helps to tug the robe back over her breast, and she gazes at him sleepily. “What time is it?”

“Just after 11,” he says.

Fucking hell. Those had to be the longest 13 hours of her life. “I’m starving,” she tells Murphy. “Can I eat now?”

“I’ll bring you both something from the kitchen,” Abby says, handing Jamie over to Murphy. “One last thing we gotta do, and then we’ll be out of your hair for the night.”

“We have to sleep here?” Raven asks, hoping Abby will let them go home. All she wants to do is get in her own bed with her boyfriend and child.

Abby gives her a sympathetic look. “I think it’s best for you both to remain here until at least the morning. Walking out into the snow with a newborn this late at night, when the temperature has dropped with nightfall…” she trails off, and Raven sees her point.

“Ok,” she says, resigned. A few hours and they can go home. Besides, as soon as Abby leaves, they need to check in with their friends. Russell must’ve already sent out a convoy to scope out the lab, and their friends should be on their way back to Eden now.

Abby looks at her expectantly, and Raven realizes she completely missed the question. “Have you both agreed on a name yet?” Abby repeats.

Raven glances at Murphy. “Oh, yeah,” she says. It occurs to her that they haven’t done this part yet. She’s been referring to her son as Jamie for so long that making it “official” hadn’t even crossed her mind.

“James Murphy,” she answers. “But everyone’s gonna call him Jamie.”

“Definitely not gonna call him Murphy,” Murphy says.

“Only room in this planet for one,” Raven agrees. “And he’s already a pain in the ass.”

“Thanks,” Murphy says, sarcastically. “Love you too.”

 

* * *

 

As promised, Abby makes them a couple of ham and cheese sandwiches. It’s not the greatest culinary dish she’s ever been served, but as she bites into the toasted bread, it sure feels like it. Raven falls asleep shortly after eating, her body claiming total exhaustion. Last thing she sees before her eyes droop is her son sleeping soundly in a hospital bassinette beside her bed, Murphy curled up in a chair at its helm.

Within reach of both of them. It’s that reassurance that lets her succumb to sleep.

But sleep when it comes isn’t restful. She’s plagued with vivid dreams of rotting alien bodies, human arms reaching toward her through iron gates. Their skin is scarlet red, peeling away from their muscles and hanging in tethers. She’s in a cage, the iron bars closing in on her as the arms graze her shoulders. No matter what she does, she can’t escape them. The hands roam over her body, dragging her to the edge of the cage. She tries to scream, but no sound leaves her throat. She’s trapped.

Raven awakes with a start, disoriented as her eyes take in unfamiliar surfaces. It takes her a second to remember she’s still in the hospital. Sometime in the night, she’s shifted to lay on her side, and as she comes to, she hears faint whispers coming from the other side of the bed.

“Your mom is something else, squirt,” Murphy murmurs. “You hit the lottery with that one.”

Her instincts tell her to roll over to let him know she’s awake, but…She also wants to hear where this goes.

“I did too. I mean, barring the fact your mom actually threatened me with a gun… Twice,” he snorts softly. “Yeah, you probably shouldn’t hear those stories until you’re much, much older. Point is: don’t piss your mom off. Leave that to me—I do it very well.”

She smiles.

“Anyways, point is she’s a badass and whatever she says goes, you hear me?” After a beat, he adds, “I probably shouldn’t say the word ‘ass’ around you, but whatever—not like you’re gonna remember this anyway.”

Raven rolls over, and Murphy raises an eyebrow at her. “Don’t you know it’s rude to eavesdrop? We were having a father-son moment.”

“Can you stop teaching our son how to cuss?” she says, though there’s no bite behind her words. Jamie won’t remember any of this when he’s older. They’ll need to start watching their language around him in a few months though. If they don’t, their son’s first word could very well be “fuck.”

Murphy cradles Jamie closer to his chest as he stands up. “He was fussing,” he says, handing her their son. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Wish you would’ve. I had the worst dream.”

She doesn’t get a chance to explain to him what it was about. They hear the door to the room creak open, and in the dark, Raven can’t tell who’s at the door. She holds Jamie tight to her chest, and sees Murphy coil in anticipation. Of what? She’s not sure.

“Psst, you guys here?”

Murphy relaxes, and reaches over to turn on the light. It blinds Raven for a second, but once her eyes adjust, she sees a sight for truly sore eyes.

Their friends.

Jordan files in first, having been the one to peek his head in first. But he has to sidestep quickly to avoid being barreled by Emori, who makes a beeline for Raven. She throws her arms around her, and Raven does her best to return the tight embrace with Jamie in her arms.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” Emori says against her hair.

“It’s okay,” Raven pulls away to look at her friend, her sister… She holds up Jamie slightly in her arms, feeling tears forming in her eyes when she sees emotion flood Emori’s face.

“Can I?”

“Of course. He needs to meet his godmother, after all.” Raven helps move Jamie into her outstretched hands, reminding her to support the head and neck.

With Jamie safely tucked in Emori’s arms, the rest of her friends come to hug her, one by one. Bellamy is the last, and Raven feels a couple tears run down her cheeks after he gives her a brotherly kiss atop her head.  She watches as he claps Murphy on the back before bringing him in for a hug.

“Did you guys do it?” she asks, after everyone has taken a look at Jamie and has finished congratulating them. Emori returns her son to her, and Raven takes him back eagerly.

“It’s done,” Clarke affirms and Raven breathes a sigh of relief. They destroyed the red fever hosts. But from the look on Clarke’s face, Raven can guess there’s more to the story.

“But?” she prompts.

Bellamy sighs, a long, deep sound that lets Raven know that there’s been a complication. He scratches at his chin, gesturing for Eleanor. The blonde comes forward and hands Raven a file.

“It’s best if we just show you,” she says.

Raven looks at Murphy with a furrowed brow, before opening the folder. The first thing she sees is a list.

An alphabetized list of their people—Names, ages…and fertility status.

There are several names crossed out, and others circled. She sees Octavia’s is one of the latter. So is Bellamy’s.

She turns the pages, scanning for her name. Hers has also been circled.

“What is…?”

“There’s more.” Eleanor gestures with her chin for her to keep going.

After the list, she sees photographs. A wonkru couple entering a tent in their old settlement. Another couple she’s seen but doesn’t know kissing against a tree. There’s dozens of these—intimate moments caught on camera without the subjects being aware.

She flips to another photograph and stops.

“What the fuck?” Murphy says, snatching the photo from her shaky hands.

It’s them—both visibly naked from the waist up while bathing in the stream behind Murphy’s tent. Her chest is pressed to his, Murphy’s fingers are tangled in her wet hair and her thigh peeking out of the water, wrapped around Murphy’s hips.

It must’ve been taken in the early days—those first couple of weeks after she and Murphy started trying for a baby. In fact, it absolutely was. Murphy’s shoulders were still visibly red in the photograph from that terrible sunburn he got.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Murphy tears the picture in half, and then makes confetti of the remnants.

“He’s been watching us,” Raven deadpans. “Since we got here.”

Everything suddenly makes sense.  


	29. Smoke and Mirrors

There had always been one thing nagging Raven at the back of her mind ever since they arrived were in Eden.

With the amount of technology available here, how in the world did Russell miss the various trips the Gagarin took those first few days as they transported people from Eligius IV down to the ground?

The answer had been in front of their noses this entire time—He hadn’t.

She doesn’t fault him for observing them. They would have done the same thing if suddenly, after generations of being alone in this planet, a new group of humans fell from the sky, especially considering their people’s history. But there was a difference between surveying people for potential threats and what Russell did.

It went beyond the photographs. His file detailed relationships. It noted physical qualities as well as suspected intellect. He had known who played what role in their settlement, and had ranked them in prominence.

She hadn’t been surprised to see Bellamy and Clarke’s name high up on that latter list. Her name was somewhere near the bottom of the first page, but unlike the others, it was circled. Again.

All of this meant that Russell had planned their homecoming to a T. He drew them out of camp with the others, probably steered them close enough to that beach near their settlement for their radars to catch the sound, but not close enough that the others would find them.

He had strode into camp like some sort of savior in a helicopter, promising exactly what they sought—security. A place to call home.

Russell hadn’t lied about one thing: They did need their help in saving the human race. But what he had in mind for the human race wasn’t what they thought. It was never about diversifying their genetic pool.

He wanted a baby mill.

“I can’t handle this right now,” Raven says, pushing away the files. “Let’s just… Let’s deal with it in the morning. We can’t start phase II of the plan before dawn, anyway.”

Jamie is still fast asleep in her arms, and she carefully hands him to Murphy, who lays him down in the bassinette as if he’s made of glass. He tugs a blanket over his already swaddled body.

“We should all get some sleep,” Bellamy says, and the unsure note in his voice lets Raven know he doesn’t know what to do next. Should they all stick together or go home as if nothing is wrong? Even in the dim lighting, she can see the dirt and soot finger-painted on her friends’ faces.

They’ve all been through a lot.

“You guys should stay,” Raven says, and Clarke looks up at her in surprise.

“But you—” she begins.

“I would feel a lot better with more people in the room,” Raven interrupts.

Murphy heaves himself down in the armchair with a sigh. “The more the merrier.” He glances over at Raven, his eyes soft. This isn’t how either of them pictured the birth of their son would play out, but it’s only fitting it would happen on the night shit went down.

She gazes fondly at her sleeping baby. That little trouble-maker, she thinks with a soft smile. After that, she’s not sure when she falls asleep. But at least this time, it’s dreamless.

Morning arrives whether they want it to or not. Light peeps through the closed window blinds, bathing the room in cloudy rays of white. However, it’s not the light that wakes them all up.

It’s Jamie. Because yes. This is the reality of having a newborn.

His wail is piercing, and sends Murphy shooting upward in the chair while Raven startles awake. Their friends, all sprawled on the ground using their coats and scarfs as spare blankets and pillows, groan. From the corner of her eye, Raven can see Octavia throw her coat over her head with a huff.

“Jesus, kid,” Murphy grumbles, picking him up and handing him to Raven. “Guess we won’t need an alarm for the next few months.”

Jamie is waving his little fists in the air, eyes scrunched and face pruny as he cries. Raven looks up at Murphy, gesturing for the duffle bag in the floor. He nods wordlessly and grabs it, zipping it open before tossing her a small blanket. She drapes it over her shoulder, and Murphy helps to undo the back of her gown, keeping her modest as she places Jamie to her breast.

He latches, his cries dissolving as he feeds. She’s not sure who’s more relieved—Jamie, the one getting fed, or their friends itching to go back to sleep on the floor.

“I’m jealous,” Murphy whispers, and Raven raises an eyebrow at him. “I’m not used to sharing.”

She hums contently. “You better get used to it quickly. These are his now.”

He kisses her temple, his lips lingering for a second afterward on her skin. “For _now_ ,” he says, his breath tingling her ear. “I’ll take back what’s mine eventually.”

They hear an exasperated groan from the other side of the room. “You guys are disgusting,” Octavia says.

Abby walks in not long thereafter, just as Raven has finished breastfeeding Jamie. She takes in all the people in the room, her eyebrows scrunched.

 “Good morning,” she says. “Quite an entourage you guys have amassed. Frankly, I’m not surprised. I thought it was odd none of you were here yesterday.”

Bellamy groans as he sits upright, his bones cracking as he stretches. “Yeah, well these two kept their labor pretty secret from all of us,” he says, diving into their cover story. It wouldn’t be that unexpected for them to have not told their friends. Raven had told Abby she only wanted Emori and Murphy there.

“I should’ve been here,” Emori jumps in, sulking. It didn’t even appear like she was acting. Emori was honestly pretty upset she missed the birth.

“It’s not your fault you got called into a mission,” Abby says, and Emori nods, feigning a forlorn expression. She steps over Octavia’s sleeping form, turning her attention back to Raven. “Ready to go home?” she asks.

“Yes please,” Raven answers. She wants nothing more than this. Plus, phase II can’t be conducted with her in the hospital. She needs to get in front of a computer monitor, stat.

Abby officially discharges her, and Murphy helps Raven to the bathroom to get changed out of the robe. She’s a lot more sore than she expected, but she tells herself that after all this is over, she’ll be able to rest. She just has to push through a little bit longer.

They’re all getting ready to leave the room when they hear a loud commotion coming from down the hall. Raven has swaddled Jamie in a thick wool blanket in preparation for the bitter cold that awaits them, and she clutches him as the heavy footfalls come closer to their room. Through the slightly ajar door, they can hear nurses telling the group they can’t barge in.

That doesn’t deter them. A group of men dressed in Eden army fatigues throw open the door to the room, flanked by Russell himself.

Raven narrows her eyes. Of course. All things considered, phase I of their plan went too smoothly. And the files last night have shown that Russell is always one step ahead of them. _Always._

She feels a hand grip her hip. Murphy subtly pulls her behind him.

Teddy’s with the soldiers. She tries to make eye contact with him, but he fails to meet her eyes. Or anyone’s.

“Russell, what’s this?” Eleanor asks.

He ignores her, turning to his men instead. “Arrest them,” he orders, and the men pause. The hesitation makes it clear that they weren’t expecting that order, though Raven isn’t sure what they were expecting then. When his men fail to move, Russell grows inpatient. “I said, _arrest them_.”

“But sir, three of them are in your cabinet,” a soldier says.

“Are you deaf?” Russell snaps, and the men grimace in tandem. It’s clear they don’t want to follow orders, and Raven wonders when was the last time someone got arrested. The soldiers don’t even know what to do. “They’ve committed an act of treason,” Russell says.

“And what exactly constitutes as treason nowadays?” Eleanor says, pushing forward in front of their friends. She faces Russell, her nose barely at his chest, but her eyes blaze.

“I’d say destroying research for a red fever vaccine and stealing important government documents to frame me for god knows what purpose falls under that category.” His statement causes the room to quiet, so sudden that one could hear a pin drop. This was his strategy—his checkmate.  He wanted them to find the lab. He wanted them to find the files. They had given him the perfect excuse to get them out of the way on a platter.

Eleanor snorts with a slight shake of her head. She puts her wrists together and looks at Teddy. “Do it,” she commands. “If you don’t, he may call that treason too.”

Teddy swallows hard, his glasses slipping down his nose an inch before he pushes them back. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s torn between loyalty to his leader, and loyalty to his friend. Eleanor pushes her wrists in his direction, and Teddy, as if jolting out of a dream, fumbles with the handcuffs given to him by the soldier to his right.

One by one, her friends are placed under arrest and led out of the room until it’s just Russell, Murphy, Jamie, her and one more soldier.

“Last one,” Russell says, nodding in Murphy’s direction. “Make sure to lock him tight.”

Raven holds Jamie to her chest, backing away and pulling Murphy to her by his pants belt loop. “What do you mean last one?” He wasn’t arresting her? “Where are you taking him?” she demands.

“Where are you taking _her_?” Murphy says, his hand outstretched in front of Raven. “I swear if you lay one hand on her or my son—”

She feels helpless. Utterly lost. It’s as if time has slowed to a crawl. Murphy kicks into preservation mode, a sharp contrast to the quiet exterior he put on when their friends were taken away. She knows that in his mind it’s because he thought they would be together. He wasn’t expecting to be separated.

Neither was she.

She watches the soldier push Murphy against the wall, his face thudding against the hard surface. He’ll have a bruise to match it later, for sure. His hands are wrestled behind his back, and soon his wrists are decorated in shiny steel.

Jamie starts to cry, the commotion having woken him at last and Raven hides his face. She doesn’t want him to see his father being taken away, no matter the fact he’ll never remember this. Hell, she doesn’t want to remember this.

“You’re a dead man, Russell,” Murphy says, struggling against his bonds as he’s taken away. “Start counting your hours. They’re numbered.”

Russell smirks. “I could say the same thing about you,” he drawls, and Raven is floored with dread, fear and an overwhelming wave of anxiety. She can’t lose Murphy. She _won’t_.

And then she’s alone with Russell, and the walls feel like they’re closing in on her. But she refuses to let this man see how scared she really is. Raven Reyes is not a coward.

Russell sees her coat draped on the bed, and he picks it up, holding it up for her to take. “Don’t look at me like that,” he says when she glares at him. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Where are you taking us?” she says.

His lips quirk upward in a sly smile. “Where you belong.”

 

* * *

 

He leads her through the snow to the residential couples units. It doesn’t take her long to figure out he’s taking her to his home, and the thought chills her to the bone. She wants desperately to take off running in the opposite direction, to yell at the numerous passersby to help her—to get her away from this man.

But Russell keeps a steady hand on her low back, dangerously close to the dip of her ass, insistent on guiding her. Running isn’t an option. If she had full function of her leg, and the ground wasn’t so damn slippery with ice… Maybe she’d have a chance. But where would she run? Leaving Murphy behind wasn’t something she’d ever consider. Plus, she and Jamie wouldn’t stand a chance out in the snow by themselves. Hell, she was still bleeding from labor. The pad at the juncture of her thighs was a crude reminder, and so was the soreness that crawled down her legs.

She wouldn’t make it five feet without Russell catching her.

Russell lives on the top floor, and once in the lift, he finally lifts his grimy paws of her body. She backs herself into the farthest corner from him, holding Jamie up to her neck, feeling his breath graze her cheek.

“You should feel special,” Russell says, quirking his head to one side, his eyes fixated on her. “I don’t take many women home.”

“Lucky me,” she spits out.

His home is lavish, but she didn’t expect anything less from the governor. He has a whole floor to himself, and the unit is three times as large as her and Murphy’s. There must be six or seven bedrooms in this place. Marble floors gleam in the light reflecting from the snow gathered on his wraparound porch, visible thanks to the French doors that lead out to it.

Russell gestures to the long dining room table. “Please, take a seat.” And then as if forgetting himself, he hums. “Actually, if you want to place the child in the next room, we can talk more freely.”

“Like hell I am,” she says. Her son is not leaving her sight for one second.

“He’ll be perfectly safe,” Russell says, lifting three fingers in the air. “Scout’s honor.”

Raven just scowls and he sighs after a beat.

“Fine. Suit yourself. But please, sit.”

She does so gingerly, the chair heavy as she scoots it backwards. Russell flits around behind her in the kitchen, taking two glasses out of his cabinet. “Water?” he offers. “Or maybe something stronger?”

She doesn’t have time for this bullshit. “Cut to the chase. Why am I here?”

Russell laughs softly. “Something stronger then. What’s your poison? Wine? Tequila? Beer?” He snaps his fingers. “Sorry, almost forgot you’re breastfeeding. Perhaps a juice instead.”

She hears the telltale sound of liquid being poured, and not soon after he places a tall glass with a sky blue liquid inside.

Her eyes follow as he takes a seat to her right. He clasps his hands in front of him, like this was some sort of social visit and not a hostage situation.

“Why. Am. I. Here.” She says, clipping each word harshly.

He tilts his head, regarding her. His eyes lower down to Jamie, lingering on him on a way that makes Raven wary and uncomfortable. When he looks up at her again, his expression is guarded. “Do you remember the first time we saw each other?”

“Something tells me that you saw me first before I saw you,” she replies.

“Ahh, the files,” he chuckles. “You saw the photos.”

“You wanted us to.”

“I did,” he admits. “I did. Well…while I very much enjoyed the show from the comforts of my home office that day,” he says, referencing the moment he captured on camera. A private moment that had been meant to stay that way. “That wasn’t the first time I _saw_ you. I looked at you, for sure. I would have been a fool not to have. But I didn’t really _see_ you until Labor Day.”

That day in the spring. The way he looked at her. How he asked how many children she and Murphy were planning to have. It all comes back to her. She hadn’t given much thought to that conversation, but now… The heaviness of the encounter is starting to dawn on her.

“What does that mean, you didn’t ‘see’ me?” Raven asks.

“I always thought it would be Clarke sitting in front of me right now,” he says, and Raven furrows her brow. Clarke? What?

“When you guys came down from the sky, she was the first one that caught my eye,” he continues. “She was young, had a daughter already, though I would later find out she wasn’t a biological one.” He unclasps his hands in a resigned motion, his thumbs sticking in the air. “Not fertile. Not worthy.”

Raven exhales sharply. “You measure people’s worth based on the status of their reproductive organs?”

“When humanity faces extinction due to an infertility crisis, you have to.” He cranes his head to look at Jamie, and Raven rolls his swaddled body away from his prying eyes. “Anyways, once I took note of you, I realized you were a much better candidate.”

“Candidate for what?”

But he doesn’t answer her. “You’re smart,” he says, instead. “I saw what you did in the tech hub. It’s thanks to you Eden’s heating problem was fixed just in the nick of time before winter fell, and I hear it’s your machinery design that will be helping us come planting season for the crops.” His eyes roam over her. “Plus, you’re beautiful. Not exactly a big deciding factor in starting a family, but certainly helps. I am human after all.”

Russell lets a bubble of bitter laughter escape his lips. “Why you let that _vermin_ of a man share your bed is beyond me. You’re so much better than that.”

She has an inkling of where this is going, but she hopes she’s wrong. God, she hopes she’s wrong.

“I only see one vermin, and he uses a virus to fight his battles.”

He smiles, and takes a sip of his water. “Are you familiar with Machiavelli, Raven?” At her head shake, he elaborates. “He was a great diplomat, the first politician, if you may. He wrote a book titled ‘The Prince,’ which I imagine you haven’t read. We need to fix that, you’re really missing out on a great work.” He clears his throat. “Anyways, Machiavelli poses the question of whether a ruler is better off being loved or feared. What do you think about that?”

She didn’t come here for a philosophy lesson, but he looks at her expectantly, and she knows he won’t waver from the subject unless she answers. “Neither,” she says. “Ruling isn’t a popularity contest, and history has proven dictatorships are destined to fall. A good leader shows he is worthy of his people’s respect.”

“And how should that ruler gain that respect? In a perfect world, of course.”

“Fair and just deeds,” she says. “In short, the opposite of everything you’ve proven willing to do.”

A slow smirk appears on his lips. “You don’t think I’m fair?” he asks.

“You’ve locked up my friends,” she says. “You’ve threatened me and my child. You’ve forced me to follow you here, instead of locking me up, despite knowing full well that I played a role in what happened last night. You lied to your people about creating a vaccine for a disease you brought back to life. No part of that is fair.”

He regards her with a curious look, relaxing into the back of his chair. “That’s definitely one way of looking at things, but if I may,” he raises a finger in the air. “I’d like to provide an alternative perspective.”

“I welcomed you and your people with open arms,” he says. “Offered kindness, shelter… A new beginning. All I asked in return was help diversifying our genetics. Instead, you bring an other into this camp, putting everyone in danger—kept him here for _weeks.”_ He scoffs. “And then, when that wasn’t enough, you destroy the one hope we had of curing the plague of our generation—red fever.”

Raven bites the inside of her cheek. “That vaccine story is a lie.”

“Who are they going to believe?” he challenges, leaning across the table. “Their trusted governor, who has kept them safe and sound for a decade, who many of which saw grow up? Or a few damaged newcomers who’ve already destroyed their home planet?”

They’d believe him. She knows that full well. And so does he.

“You guys are smart,” he says. “I’m sure whatever you had planned to take me down would have worked, if I was a lesser man.”

She resists the urge to tell him he’s not a man, but a cold-blooded calculating monster. After a few seconds of silence, when he smugly appears to believe he has her backed in a corner, he slides over his data pad over to her, the tech grating harshly on the wooden table.

“Your friends will be a tragic loss to this camp. So much potential—at least in the majority,” he says, and she knows that’s a dig at Murphy. He’s baiting her, trying to get a rise out of her. “But at the end of the day, expendable. You, Raven, on the other hand? You’re… irreplaceable. One of a kind.”

 Being picked first for everything has always generated a bolster of pride within her, but this was one instance where she wishes she could have blended into the background. Maybe she shouldn’t have tried to stand out so much at work, maybe they should have kept their heads down and minded their own damn business instead of always trying to fix the world around them.

Her friends are in danger, and it feels like it’s her fault.

“Turn on the data pad,” he orders, and with her free hand, she swipes up on the surface. She’s met with a legal document, and her heart beats a wild rhythm in her chest when she sees what it is.

A decree of adoption.

“I will never sign this,” she says, pushing the data pad away from her.

Russell slides it back toward her. “I thought you would feel that way,” he swipes to the next page. “which is why I’m giving you a better option.”

The page loads a blank marriage certificate. “If you marry me,” he says, and just hearing the words aloud stirs nausea in the pit of her stomach, “you’d see your son grow up. He’ll have everything he’ll ever need or want. You’d be a constant presence in his life—after all, you’d be his mother. But I’ll be his father.”

“He already _has_ a father,” she says.

“John Murphy is nothing but a sperm donor.”

“ _Fuck you_.”

Her head snaps to the side as he backhands her, his ring digging into the corner of her lip with the strike, hard enough that it draws a dribble of blood. She raises a hand to her cheek, recoiling away from him. He hit her with Jamie in her arms.

“You’ll need to control that mouth of yours going forward,” he says, making a fist with his hand in a manner that makes his joints click. “I won’t tolerate profanity in this household.”

Raven wipes at the corner of her mouth, ignoring the cloth handkerchief he holds out to her. She didn’t think he would hit her. A gross underestimation on her part.

“You have two choices, Raven. You can forfeit your son to me, or you can marry me and help me govern Eden for another decade with that brilliant mind of yours.” He gestures to the room around them. “Think of what you could have. What you and I could accomplish together.”

She knows what Murphy would do…What he would tell her to do.

Whatever it takes to stay alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally supposed to be the final chapter, but it was getting way too long, so I decided to split it up into two. Next part should be up by Sunday with an epilogue to follow Tuesday. That's my timeline for completing this story, and I'm sticking with it (fingers crossed). I'll be leaving the country on vacation starting Wednesday, and will be gone for two weeks. I'm going to work like hell to finish the story before I go.


	30. Restitution

But she’s not John Murphy. And a life with Russell? That’s not a life worth living.

She can figure out a way out of this. She knows she can. She just needs some time.

“I need to think about it,” she tells him, and the answer appeases Russell.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want you to make any rash decisions,” he retrieves the data pad. “Whenever you’re ready.”

He says it so coolly, like they’re discussing what to have for lunch. What a psychopath. She glances around the room, trying to keep stock on the things near her that could work to her advantage. Her lip throbs where he’s cut it open, and her thumb reaches up to wipe away another dribble of blood.

“I’m sorry I hit you,” Russell says. “But you must understand, I require utmost respect at all times.”

“Yeah well,” she says with a sigh. “You picked the wrong woman.”

“A strong woman just needs an even stronger man,” he says, and she can’t even begin to spell out everything that is wrong with that statement.

An idea hits her then, and she tries to play it casual. She dabs at her lip again, her blood staining her fingertips. God, he hit her hard. “Can I use the bathroom? I’d like to not bleed all over my son.”

“Yes, yes,” he says, quickly, his chair scraping against the floor as he pushes off. He offers her a hand to stand, which she willfully ignores, choosing instead to heave herself up with the table. “Bathroom’s down this hall.”

Their footsteps echo in the large room, dimming as they enter a narrow hallway. Russell opens a door, gesturing for her to go inside. But before she crosses the threshold into the bathroom, he stops her by putting a hand across the doorway.

“The child,” he says. “Give him to me.”

“No.”

He narrows his eyes, her insolence wearing down on his collected exterior. “You’ll need both hands free to clean yourself up.” They stare at each other for a long minute, and Raven hesitantly, with every fiber of her being screaming at her, places Jamie in his arms.

She’s aware of how close they’re standing then, how he can probably feel the fanning of her breath as she instructs him to hold Jamie’s head up. Looking up at him, she sees the creases of age on his face. This man could easily be her father.

Her arms feel empty without her son, and she stands there awkwardly for a second. Russell is staring at Jamie with an odd look—one full of… wonder? Awe? She collects herself, and turns to the mirror.

Damn, he split her lip. She touches it gingerly, wincing.

“There’s a first aid kit in the medicine cabinet,” Russell says, distracted. She pulls it open, reaching up on her tiptoes to grab the kit from the top shelf. She clicks it open, and rummages through looking for things to clean her cut.

She’s tearing open an alcohol swab, when she hears him.

“He’s beautiful, Raven,” Russell whispers. “You did good.”

She doesn’t respond. Instead, she dabs at her lip with the swab, the stinging causing her to hiss softly. A sigh makes her glance over at Russell, and she realizes he’s no longer looking at her son. He’s looking at her.

“I know you think I’m a monster,” he says. “But I’m not. I’d treat you well.”

She snorts bitterly, going back to the first aid kit to dig out some triple antibiotic, which she promptly begins dabbing at the corner of her lip. “Could have fooled me,” she mumbles. Satisfied that her lip has stopped bleeding, she rinses her hands in the sink and dries them in the hanging towel. She looks back at Russell and sees him fixated on Jamie. Her eyes flit to a pair of tweezers in the first aid kit and she quickly tucks them in her sleeve before closing the first aid kit and returning it to the medicine cabinet.

She holds out her arms. “My son,” she says and then quietly, she adds, “please.”

To her relief, he hands Jamie back, and she cradles her son to her neck. He’s awake now, but not fussing, little fists grabbing at her loose hair. She breathes in that baby smell clinging to his head, drops a kiss there.

Raven slides past Russell, using Jamie’s swaddled body to help her hide how she transfers the tweezers to the waistband of her pants. After she does so, she stops in the hallway, her eyes transfixed onto a wall with three beautiful women’s photos.

The first is a dark-skinned brunette with bright green eyes. Her brown hair fans over her in soft waves, a coy expression on her face. Beside her is one with deep-set brown eyes, her pin straight hair flying in the air as if it caught a spring breeze in the very second the photo was captured. And the last, she recognizes. She’d be blind not to—this woman looks exactly like Eleanor.

She feels Russell behind her, and she looks over her shoulder at him. “Who are they?” she asks.

His eyes cloud over, and Raven recognizes the signs of grief painting his features. He rubs a hand over his mouth. “The first two were my wives. Isidra was the first. She died giving birth to what would have been our daughter.” He swallows, and gestures at the middle photo with his chin. “Then a few years later, I married Holly. She… She took her own life when she found out she couldn’t have children.”

“I’m sure she felt the pressure,” Raven says, her words harsh.

“I loved her, Raven,” he says, defensively.

“In your own way, I’m sure.” Raven points at Eleanor’s mother’s photograph. “And her?”

A dark expression flashes across Russell’s face before he gains composure. “A reminder.” She feels him place a hand on her shoulder, feels his cold fingers sweep the hair away from her neck. She stiffens as his other hand skims down the side of her body. “I’m not to be betrayed,” he says, pulling the tweezers from her waistband.

He takes her elbow, pulling her deeper into the hallway. Raven tries to struggle against him, but he’s stronger than he looks. She’s also doesn’t have her full-strength right now.

Russell opens a bedroom and pushes her inside. He shuts the door before she has time to react, and she pounds on it after turning the door knob and finding it locked. “Let me out!” she says, her fist banging on the wooden surface. “You can’t keep me locked up forever. People are going to start asking questions.”

She hears no response from the other side of the door, only footsteps walking away. “Russell!” she calls, and her yelling upsets Jamie, who starts to cry. “Fuck,” she mutters. “I’m sorry baby, okay? Mommy is going to get us out of here.” She hoists him up by her neck, rubbing his back soothingly, trying to calm him down.

There’s likely nothing she can use in this bedroom. He’s placed her in an interior room, with only a small window looking out. There’s a large four-poster bed in the center, covered in heavy red brocade bedding and piled high with pillows. The room smells a little musty, like it’s been empty for a long time.

She wanders over to the large dresser, looking over the few items left atop it. There’s a layer of dust over everything, confirming her suspicion that this room hasn’t been used in years. The dresser is home to a jewelry box, a half-empty perfume bottle and a silver hairbrush. Raven picks the latter up, and almost drops it when she sees the blonde strands still in its bristles.

Eleanor’s mom. She had spent time in this room.

Raven kisses Jamie, holding him tighter in her arms for security as she starts rummaging through drawers. She’s pretty sure she won’t find anything, but it’s worth a try—for Eleanor. If there is anything here that will help her understand what happened to her mom, Raven has to find it.

And if she happens to find something that will help her while she’s at it, well… That would be a win-win.

But aside from a few spare sheets and blankets, the drawers are empty. It’s strange considering the personal effects on the dresser, but it’s as if any other piece of Eleanor’s mom has been wiped clean. She moves on to the nightstands, and then the tall chest in the corner, but finds nothing.

Her eyes land again on the jewelry box. It’s an ornate, beautiful piece, with scrolls etched into its sides, and silver edges.

It’s also made out of glass. If she breaks it…

Raven takes a step toward it, and her ears pick up on a strange hollow sound under her right foot. She presses down again, in the same spot, and again, she encounters that sound.

The floors are marble. But maybe…

She gets down onto the floor, extending her bad leg in front of her in the way she’s gotten used to crouching. Keeping one hand on Jamie, she tries to loosen the marble tile from the floor. She manages to get a grip on the edge, and carefully, she flips it over, trying to minimize the sound of it touching the neighboring tile.

Underneath, she finds pages torn out from notebooks, some faded yellow, but all covered with the same elegant cursive. Diary entries, she discovers. Raven picks them up, and sits on the edge of the bed, beginning to rifle through them.

The topmost is dated about a decade before and talks about Eleanor—how strong-willed she was at just 15 years old and that she was driving her mom crazy. Raven smiles, and flips to the next one, which again, mentions Eleanor, now 17, and her crush for some older man at her apprenticeship in the hospital. Raven figures this was written before Eleanor’s mom got red fever, and Eleanor switched to the biotech hub in her memory.

She starts to read the subsequent letter, but something tells her to stop. These are too personal. They were never meant for her to read. So she wads up the paper and tucks it into the band of her bra for safekeeping.

She diverts her attention back to the loose tile on the floor and she formulates a plan. This could be her way out.

Raven places Jamie in the center of the bed, surrounding him with pillows to prevent him from rolling off while her attention is diverted. Crouching down, she examines the tile, feels its substantial weight and sharp edges. She’d need both hands, but this could work.

Raven picks up the tile and puts it on the bed, taking Jamie and tucking him inside an empty drawer in the tall chest by the door. She leaves the drawer open of course, since she will need to pick him up and run like hell if all went according to plan.

If it didn’t, well… She’d probably get a black eye for her actions, and Russell won’t leave her out of his sight for a long time. So this needed to work.

Once she’s sure Jamie is secure, she walks back to the bed and picks up the tile, lifting up her bad leg to help balance it on her knee while she knocks on the door with her other hand.

“Russell,” she calls.

She hears footsteps coming down the hallway. “I’m not letting you out,” he says through the door.

Raven squeezes her eyes shut. “I’ve done some thinking,” she says. “I’m ready.” She bites her lip as she forces the next sentence out of her mouth. “I’ll marry you.”

She hears him chuckle through the door. “Amazing what a woman will do for her child,” he remarks, and she sees the door knob turn as he enters the room.

The second he’s inside and in her line of view, Raven smashes the tile on his head, the force of her hit knocking him back with an earsplitting crack. She drops the tile on the floor, grabs Jamie and _runs._

She faintly registers his groaning, coming from the room as she bolts, which damn it—how did that not knock him out? Jamie starts crying, her uneven running gait jolting him in her arms. She gets to the front door and frantically starts undoing all the locks, her heartbeat loud in her ears. Or are those footsteps?

Definitely footsteps. She flicks open the final lock and throws the door behind her in time to get a glimpse of Russell making his way over to her, blood dripping down the side of his head like a scarlet waterfall.

She bypasses the lift entirely. No time to waste, and starts down the stairs as fast as she can handle them. Russell enters the hallway, and follows her, hot on her heels. Out of breath, she powers on, taking two stairs at a time when she can.

“ _Raven_ ,” Russell bellows, and she looks over her shoulder at him. He’s wobbly on his feet, his hair matted on the side of his head where she hit him.

She just needs to get out of this tree. Once she’s out in the open, she can cry for help. She just needs to—

A hand claps her on the shoulder, pulling her back and she falls on her ass, her tailbone taking the brunt of the fall. She rolls herself into a ball, protecting Jamie. “Get away from us, you psycho,” she says, feeling Russell’s blood seep in through her sweater where he’s grabbed her.

He tries to squeeze his hands under her arms to drag her back up, but he’s weak and she’s not budging. “Don’t touch me!” she yells. Is there no one up here that can hear her? Can no one hear her son wailing? “Help!”

Her ears register heavy footfalls coming from down below them, and Russell must hear them too because he backs away from her. Then, through the bend of the stairs, she sees them. Hope flares up inside her, enough to give her the strength to try to get back up and meet them halfway.

Murphy and Eleanor. Racing up the stairs, Murphy with a gun ready, his face bruised and wrists bloody, but alive and coming for her. Eleanor isn’t far behind, a satchel over her shoulder, but no weapons visible.

“Raven, duck!” Murphy tells her, and she folds her body forward, Jamie screaming into her neck.

She closes her eyes and hears a gunshot, followed by a cry of pain. She risks a look over her shoulder and sees Murphy has shot Russell in the knee.

A gargled sob escapes her throat when Murphy finally reaches her, crouching down in the staircase to take her and Jamie into his arms. She burrows her head in his neck, breathing him in and reveling in the feel of him holding her, his hands rubbing soothing circles on her back. “I got you,” he says.

He pulls back to look at her face, his eyes zeroing in on the cut on her lip. He takes in angry breath. “That bastard,” he breathes.

Behind them, Russell is inching up the staircase as best as he can. Unfortunately for him, he’s reached a wide landing. Murphy extricates himself from her grip, and the look in his face is murderous.

Eleanor quickly replaces Murphy, wrapping her arms around Raven’s shoulder. Her eyes scan her and Jamie, whose face sports droplets of Russell’s blood. Eleanor uses her sleeve to wipe them away.

They look back at Murphy, who is standing over Russell in the landing.

“You think you’re a big man, huh?” Russell says, spitting blood on the wood. “Her knight…in shining armor… here to save the day.”

Murphy delivers a sharp kick to his ribs, and Russell doubles over. “That’s the best insult you got?” He kicks him again. “I warned you what would happen if you laid a hand on her.”

Russell coughs, the sound morphing into twisted laughter. “Is this the part…where you want me to beg… for mercy?” His teeth run red with his blood.

Now it’s Murphy’s turn to smile, his smirk nasty and sarcastic. “Mercy,” he says, pulling him up from the landing floor by his collar. “Be glad I’m not the one delivering your sentence.”

Murphy tosses Russell back into the ground, wiping blood on his pants. He nods to Eleanor. Her face is grim, and there are tears in her eyes. She’s known Russell her entire life. He had been a second father to her.

Eleanor rises, and Raven’s eyes widen when she sees her pull out a syringe from her satchel.

“It’s only fair you get to try your _vaccine_ ,” Eleanor says, and Russell’s face becomes stony.

“You know, that’s exactly what your mom said,” Russell says, visibly shocking Eleanor. “Why the hesitation, Eleanor?” He shakily lifts his arm, showing her its inside. “Go ahead. Kill me. Just like I killed your mom—an eye for an eye.”

Eleanor knew this. They all did. But Raven could see that hearing the statement said aloud by him… That shook her to her core. Her hand trembled, but determined, she climbed the steps toward Russell slowly.

“You’ll never know why she died,” Russell says.

Eleanor chokes up, a cry escaping her lips. She kneels in front of Russell, the syringe out of his reach. “Knowing why you took her away from me won’t bring her back,” she says, and before she can change her mind, Eleanor plunges the syringe directly into Russell’s neck.

He lets out a long hiss as the red fever strain is injected into his body.

Murphy helps to lift Raven to her feet, tucking her into his side. He takes off his coat and drapes it over her shoulders, kissing her forehead and then dipping to kiss Jamie. “It’s all over. We’re okay. We’re okay.”

Raven clings to him like a lifeline, exhaustion beginning to take a hold of her. “Thank you,” she whispers into his neck.

 

* * *

 

Eden doesn’t have a protocol for situations like this.

Teddy asks her a few questions once she and Murphy go outside, encountering a throng of people, soldiers and their friends—all free and unharmed. Raven tells him everything she knows, and it doesn’t take long for Russell to be carried down on a stretcher.

People stare at the scene, at _Raven_ , and she just wants to go home. She tells Teddy this, and he nods, understanding that it had been a trying day.

“We’ll take it from here, okay?” He tells her. “You’re safe now.”

Murphy’s teeth are chattering from being out in the snow without a coat, but he refuses to take it back from her. He tells her she needs it more than he does.

Raven sees Eleanor crying on her father’s shoulder a few feet away, far from the crowd. Her grandparents are also there. Raven hands Jamie to Murphy, and stuffs her hand inside her sweater to retrieve the diary entries before approaching her.

“I’ll never be able to repay you,” Raven says, and Eleanor begins to wave her off, but she doesn’t let her. “Here,” she holds out the papers. “Russell had these.”

Eleanor spots her mom’s name written at the bottom of the pages, and she embraces Raven.

And with that, Raven heads home.

Home. At last.

Walking inside their unit, with the kitchen sink still piled with the dishes they used for breakfast the morning before, laundry waiting to be folded on their couch, and their familiar combined smell of vanilla, pine and cinnamon. It makes Raven want to cry again—this time, out of relief.

The first thing she does is peel the bloody clothes off her body, leaving a haphazard trail from her and Murphy’s bedroom to the bathroom shortly after handing Jamie over to him. They’ve barely spent any time together, it feels like, and she is itching to wash the day away.

She lets the hot water fall over her, wetting her hair under the stream. The walls of the shower steam up, and Raven loses track of how much time she spends in the water. She scrubs harshly at her arms, at her neck, at the places in her back that she can reach. She wants to wash every trace of Russell from her body.

After a while, she sees the bathroom door open a crack. Murphy peeps inside, his shirt already off. She can see fresh bruises forming around his ribs, wonders how he got those.

“Mind if I join?” he asks.

“Jamie?”

“Emori’s got him. They’re in the living room.”

She nods, appeased that their son isn’t alone, and Murphy takes off his remaining articles of clothing before sliding open the glass shower door. She sighs contently when he pulls her flush to him, his hands resting on her hips. He drops a kiss on her shoulder.

“How’d you find me?” she whispers, water droplets clinging to her eyelashes.

“Russell’s tracker. We knew if we found him, we’d find you,” he answers. She can feel his jaw move when he speaks against her neck. “When Teddy’s conscience won over his loyalty to that asshole, he came to release us. He released Eleanor first, and then me, and we ran like hell to find you—had to go to the hospital first to get my data pad.” He sighs against her shoulder. “Raven, I _lost_ my shit when I saw where you were.”

“I’m okay,” she says, her hand reaching back to run her fingers through the short hairs at the nape of his neck. “Are you?”

Murphy spins her around, pulling her to him so that her breasts push up against his chest. He places a hand behind her neck, and the other cradles her chin. He leans down to kiss her, his lips insistent and desperate, as if he could lose her the second he pulls away.

She could stay like this forever, breathing him in and exhaling into each other.

“I love you,” she says against his lips.

He wraps his arms around her, his chin resting atop her head. They stand together under the shower stream, and Raven watches the way the water runs down their legs and pools at their feet before disappearing down the drain. “I love you too,” he says, and then because he’s Murphy, he asks, “What’d you hit Russell with anyways? His head was split open.”

Raven smiles against his chest. “A marble tile,” she says, and he whistles.

“Remind me never to make you _that_ mad at me.”

“Only if you promise me one thing,” she says, reaching up to bite his bottom lip.

He hums. “And what’s that?”

“You make an honest woman out of me,” she says, and he smiles against her lips.

“Raven Reyes,” he whispers. “Proposing to a cockroach. What a crazy fucking universe.”

He doesn’t have to say it. She knows that’s where they’re headed, eventually. But for now, there are other pressing matters at hand that require them to leave the shower.

“C’mon,” she says. “Jamie’s waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the final chapter! Aren't you glad Russell got what was coming to him? I definitely am.
> 
> Look for the epilogue in the next couple of days :)


	31. Epilogue

Raven has never had a lot of faith in the “justice system.”

Up on the Ark, she watched kids she grew up with get floated for crimes as small as stealing rations or hitting a guard. On Earth, she heard the stories about Murphy’s near-hanging for a murder he didn’t commit, long before she met Murphy herself. Then, she herself was mounted on a stake and sliced after being falsely accused of trying to poison Lexa. Even though the truth came out in the end, and it was Gustus who died by a thousand cuts, she still bears the scars.

She doesn’t even want to think about Mount Weather. Raven has blocked those memories out of her mind. She’s also learned not to ask about what happened in the bunker, and Octavia’s fighting pits. She tried, once, one afternoon when Octavia came over to see Jamie.

“I helped them survive it,” Octavia says. “Now, I have to survive what I did.”

They’re quiet for a moment, and then Jamie coos. The tension dissolves, and Octavia blows a raspberry into his belly.

The first month had been hard—even more so than she anticipated. Jamie was a fussy baby, and she and Murphy spent countless nights up walking him around their living room in hopes he’d fall asleep. Then, during the day, with dark circles under their eyes, they found themselves under the scrutiny of people around them.

She sure was glad for maternity leave. Murphy dealt with more bullshit than she did. Russell had been deeply ingrained in the community, with some of the older people having seen him be born and run around Eden as a child. When she went to the market, Raven sometimes heard people call her a liar, and sometimes even whore, behind her back. There was gossip about her having seduced Russell under the pretense of gaining power in the settlement, which was absolutely ludicrous.

But these people knew nothing, and Raven shrugged off the comments. The ones that knew them, that saw her leaving Russell’s unit with her son both covered in Russell’s blood, believed them wholeheartedly.

Jones dropped by to visit her that first week. He’d taken one look at her face, at the cut still present on her lip and the light bruising on her cheek, and shook his head before embracing her.

“Take as much time as you need,” he said. “He’ll get what’s coming to him.”

She wished at the time that she had as much faith in that as he did. And then, a few weeks later, they hear the news.

Russell hung himself in his cell. The initial symptoms of red fever were starting to kick in, and he couldn’t take the very punishment he doled out to those who dared defy him. He died a coward, and in Raven’s eyes, that’s a heavier sentence than any justice system could ever carry out. Despite his best efforts, he died alone, the last of his family name.

Karma is a bitch.

After he was gone, Eden itself needed time to heal. The coming of spring helped with that. Things stopped seeming so gloomy and hopeless once the sunshine came back and the flowers bloomed. Eleanor was appointed as interim governor until a special election could be held in mid-summer, but everyone knew the election was just a formality. Eleanor was born to lead Eden. Though, in a few years, Raven is sure Madi will give her a run for her money.

The day of the wedding is a perfect spring day. Echo comes over to help her with Jamie before the ceremony, and braids a few strands of her hair, which she’s decided to let fall over her shoulders in lose waves. She dons a gauzy long lavender sleeveless dress with a deep plunge in both her chest and back—making it easier to roll off one shoulder of the dress when it came time to breastfeed.

Echo’s not as practical. She puts on a russet gown full of cut-outs in the abdomen and ribs, and seemingly held up by thin straps, complemented by her loose updo.

When Murphy sees Raven, he mouths a “wow” before letting out a long whistle. He twirls her with his free hand, the other holding a four-month-old Jamie to his chest. They’ve dressed Jamie up for the occasion too. He’s a miniature mirror image of his father, from the tan pants to the white button up.

Kane and Abby’s wedding is beautiful. The ceremony is kept brief, but it’s emotional nonetheless. Abby looks stunning with her white kaftan-style dress with gold flecks and Kane can’t take his eyes off her. He’s also following the gold and white theme, with loose white linen pants and a white button-down with gold detailing in the sleeves and neckline.

Clarke and Bellamy are standing beside Kane and Abby, as their maid of honor and best man. Clarke looks radiant in her pale pink one-shouldered gown, which does little to hide the little swell of her belly. Bellamy and Clarke had broken the news a couple months ago—Clarke, who has a track record of beating odds, had bested yet another one. She and Bellamy were expecting their first child.

Raven wipes a tear away when Abby chokes up during her vows, the words “in sickness or in health” barely comprehensible. Murphy takes her hand, rubbing semi-circles into her skin with his thumb before bringing her palm to his lips.

Jamie stays blessedly silent throughout the ceremony, choosing instead to focus on one of Raven’s beaded bracelets, which she worse for this exact purpose.

After the ceremony, Kane and Abby hold a community-wide reception in a clearing near the back of Eden, just past the schoolhouse. Long tables are set up around a makeshift dance floor, and everyone enjoys spends the early evening enjoying food, wine and each other’s company. Kane and Abby have their first dance in the spectacular hazy Kainos sunset, bathed in that magenta light Raven marveled at over a year ago when they first got to this new planet.

Raven is approached by Eleanor sometime later. Her blue strapless dress trails on the forest floor, and she gives Raven a million-watt smile, sharing an embrace in greeting.

“Um, wow, you look breathtaking,” Eleanor says, placing her hands on Raven’s cinched-in waist. “Are you sure you had a baby four months ago? Because this is unfair.”

Raven laughs. “No, I definitely gave birth to that little man over there,” she says. Murphy has Jamie hoisted up by his shoulder while talking to Miller a few feet away, and the two seem to be having an animated conversation.

She shifts her attention back to Eleanor. “You seem happy,” she says.

The blonde nods, a grin forming on her lips. But the way her shoulders drop alert Raven that there is still some lingering guilt in her. Raven knows the past few months have been hard for her too—she’d not only lost a second father, but gained a world of responsibility. Literally.

“I am,” Eleanor says. She blinks rapidly, as if she’s realizing something. Raven knows she’s trying to shift the conversation. “By the way,” she says. “I never thanked you.”

“For what?”

“My mom’s diary entries,” Eleanor says. “They’ve been…a saving grace. It’s like in a small way, I have part of her back.”

Raven nods in understanding. If her mom had left behind something like that, Raven would have also liked to have it, no matter the complicated feelings involved. “I wish I could have found the entire thing.”

Eleanor lays a hand on her shoulder. “Maybe one day, we will.”

She deserved answers about why Russell killed her mom. Raven hopes she’ll get them someday.

Raven doesn’t want to seem rude, but her eyes, as always, stray toward Murphy and Jamie, and thankfully Eleanor doesn’t mind. She sidles up beside her and bumps her shoulder playfully against her.

“There’s just something about men with babies, huh?” Eleanor says with a teasing glint in her eyes.

Raven hums in appreciation. “There’s definitely something about my man with my baby,” she agrees.

Fatherhood was a good look on Murphy. He seemed older, wiser—more skilled in a way that sent waves of heat toward her belly. That is, until he opened his mouth. Murphy hadn’t changed _that_ much.

Also, the attractive quality usually faded while they were covered with spit up. Which Murphy was about to be. Raven knew that look on Jamie’s face very well.

“Oh fuck,” Raven mutters and Eleanor turns to her in surprise. “Murphy! He’s gonna—”

Too late. Jamie coughs up some milky white liquid all over Murphy’s shoulder.

“I’m going to let you handle that,” Eleanor says, and Raven rolls her eyes playfully.

“I told him he needed a burping cloth. I _just_ fed him.”

Raven makes a beeline for Murphy, and takes Jamie as Murphy digs in their diaper bag for a cloth to wipe his face.

“Well, at least I’m wearing white,” Murphy mutters, wiping at his sleeve, and Miller snorts.

She examines the damage. “It’s not that bad. I’ll help you clean up.” She holds Jamie out to Miller, who is shocked still at the gesture. “Can you watch him for five minutes?”

“Uhh…”

Raven stares at him expectantly, but as if by some baby radar, Emori comes out of nowhere and grabs Jamie. “I got him!” she says, and Raven snorts out a short laugh.

“I ask you again—you sure you don’t want one?”

She looks at Murphy, who still wiping at his shirt. “I’m good.”

The nearest bathroom is quite a bit away from the party, probably why it’s empty. She pulls Murphy into the women’s side, and he leans against the sink counter.

“Off,” she says, nodding to his shirt, and he lets a slow smirk appear on his lips as he undoes the buttons slowly.

“Always trying to get me naked, Reyes.”

“My favorite pastime,” she winks. He hands her the shirt and she runs it under water, using one of their clean baby cloths to wipe at the stain. It comes off easily, and Raven tries to towel dry it as best as she can. “It’ll dry quicker once we’re outside,” she says, and the last word comes out a bit high-pitched as Murphy pulls her to him by her hips.

“Do you hear that?” he tells her, his lips a whisper away from hers.

She furrows her brow. There’s no sound here. And then it dawns on her. She wraps her arms around his neck, reveling in the low growl that builds in his throat at her proximity. “No crying, no obnoxious baby toys going off,” she says.

Murphy kisses a hot path up her neck. “You look stunning,” he says, his fingers tracing her low neckline with a feather-light touch that makes goosebumps appear on her arms.

“Don’t I always?” she quips and he nods, his eyes dilated. He’d agree to anything right now. She captures his lips, teasing him with her tongue as her hands roam his bare chest. “We’ll have to be quick—there’s no lock on the bathroom door.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice. He shifts them around so that her back is to the sink counter instead, hoisting her up atop it and bunching the excess fabric of her dress around her waist as best as he can. She undoes his belt, tugging his pants down just below his ass, and when Murphy’s hand sneaks up her thighs, she forgets all about the possibility of being walked in on.

Soon, her underwear has been slid off her legs, and Murphy has tugged both straps of her dress off her shoulders to reveal her breasts. She wraps her legs tighter around his middle, her mouth at his shoulder to muffle her gasps as he makes love to her.

God, she’s glad she got an implant after having Jamie.

When they reappear at the party, she’s well aware it’s been far longer than five minutes, and she’s thankful the dark will help conceal Murphy’s tousled hair and that bruise Murphy sucked on her collarbone without her noticing until it was too late.

Not that anyone is paying much attention to them anyway. Emori is dancing with Shaw, Jamie still in her arms, and not too far from her, Echo is chatting—scratch that— _flirting_ with a guy from Eden Raven has seen work in the mess hall.

Bellamy, Clarke and Madi are playing a game of ring toss on the other side, looking very much like the happy family they deserve to be, and Jordan is trying to get Octavia to dance a few feet away.

Kane and Abby are still at the center of the dance floor, totally oblivious to anything going on around them.

Raven feels eyes on her, and so she turns to Murphy, who reaches over and takes her hand in his.

“You remember what I said about ‘happily ever after’ on the Ring?” he asks, his eyes looking at their friends.

“Harder than it looks,” she recites and he smiles that lopsided grin of his.

“Yeah, well… No cockroach playing the violin here,” he glances down at her. “It’s been worth it.”

She reaches up on her toes to kiss him. There may be a world of unknowns still out there—what will happen to the others now that red fever has been eradicated, if Eleanor will ever find out the truth about her mom, whether they will be able to follow Monty’s wish of being better—but one thing is for sure.

She’s ready to be Murphy’s wife, and then, they’ll have the rest of their lives to figure everything else out.

_The End._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story, and for all the reviews, kudos and bookmarks. You guys are awesome, and I'm glad you stuck along for the ride with this story ♥ 
> 
> May we meet again :) through another fanfic, of course ;) Oh god, that was so cheesy, but it's late and I'm happy to have finished this fic before I left my trip. Come tomorrow, I'll be on my way to Spain!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I've been working on this story for a little over a month now, and I couldn't wait anymore to post it. I have about 40k words done on this fic, so I'll be posting regularly. Let me know what you think so far!


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